Loredas 16 Sun's Dawn 203 4E 4:00 PM
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
I kept repeating the one word to myself as I nervously paced the master bedroom of my house, Proudspire Manor, in Solitude. The three story stone house was a beautiful building and had cost me more than thirty thousand septims to acquire and decorate. It was located near the Blue Palace, had an amazing view of the ocean from the patio, and the architecture was open and airy. Unfortunately I rarely used it even when I was the Dragonborn.
My home had been Breezehome, small and cramped as it had been. I had been comfortable there with its four small rooms. Many nights Lydia and I had hovered over the fire pit recalling narrow escapes from giants and bandits while a stew simmered in a black iron pot. I could still see every step as I bolted up the stairs to my room to grab some item I had carelessly forgotten before leaving to go adventuring with the sarcastic Nord.
Proudspire Manor was my vacation residence and I tend to never take time off my work. Even in my self-proclaimed retirement as Listener, I was always on the job. Training with the others, helping gather contracts, looking for recruits, following up on rumors; the work was never done. I had nights to relax by reading or taking long hot baths, but to take an extended amount of time to do nothing and enjoy the local sites? No, that wasn't my style.
Yet here I was in Solitude on Heart's Day trying to get ready to meet the Fool of Hearts for our romantic night together. Augh, why had I agreed to this? I've never had a romantic date for Heart's Day. I didn't want a romantic dinner with awkward conversation in a room too dark to see and some stupid walk on the beach with my hand intertwined with some guy looking at me with sappy eyes.
Let me just throw back a few glasses of wine and then tumble into bed with an eager partner. Slightly clumsy hands and hungry mouths followed by rolling on the bed for an hour or two. Then in the morning get dressed, say thanks for the memories, and be done with the whole ordeal.
It was simple and uncomplicated.
It was the exact opposite of Cicero. Maybe that was why I felt like a virgin as I dressed. I'd been attracted to him since we met. Living in close quarters just made things even more complicated. I lo-… cared for Cicero as a brother definitely. Cicero freely accepted all family members immediately. Anyone who passed the initiation was family with no questions asked. The Keeper was a man who would bleed and kill for his family.
I had thought about suggesting meeting here but Cicero had seemed to want the traditional lovers' rendezvous at an inn. I was going to meet him at the Winking Skeever for dinner. Then afterwards we would retire upstairs to one of the large rooms the Skeever provided. I touched the silken dress I would change into then. It was in the same style of dress I had worn for the assassination of Gaius Maro; sleek and satin. Revealing and promising at the same time. I had lost the original during the fire at Falkreath Sanctuary. This one was a night sky purple instead of blood red.
I could always change my mind. Cicero wouldn't force me do anything I wasn't ready for. He might be disappointed, but he wouldn't be mad. Surely he wouldn't cash in the favor I owed him from the disastrous poker game from three days ago. Cicero wouldn't do that.
A sane man wouldn't, but Cicero wasn't sane was he?
The last three days had been good. Cicero hadn't had any manic or depressed episodes. I hadn't seen him repeatedly stabbing anything with his eyes wide and wild. No ranting or screaming. No snapping at others for messing with his things for the mildest of reasons. No signs of the Keeper curled up in corner with his arms tightly around his knees while behind the Night Mother's huge coffin.
Just smiling and singing.
It had taken me a long time to realize that for Cicero smiling and laughing was just another type of armor. Instead of wrapping himself in protective leather or steel, the jester clothed himself in the motley velvet for armor and wielded his laugh and sharp tongue as weapons with a smile as his helmet. How different his world must be to use that to protect himself.
I took a deep breath and smoothed my dress. I picked up my overnight bag and looked into the full length mirror for one last check. My face was a little pinched from nervousness, but I looked fine otherwise. I wore a deep blue dress to enhance the color of my eyes. My hair was loose and cascaded down my back. I pushed back a wisp of hair into the silver cornet that adorned my brow and gripped the Amulet of Dibella that I was wearing for luck.
I had not been with anyone since Haelga and that was almost a year ago. My body was more than ready for the physical intimacy; I just wished my heart wouldn't thud so hard in my chest.
Loredas 16 Sun's Dawn 203 4E 5:00 PM
The usual crowd was here at the Winking Skeever. The owner, Corpulus Vinius, was talking with some patrons while he served from the counter. Gulum-Ei, an Argonian, sat in his usual place in a corner. Lisette, the inn's bard, sang "The Age of Aggression." There were several couples sitting at various tables eating and talking in low tones. I could see goofy smiles and hear happy laughs from all around the room.
I walked past an Imperial man wearing fine clothes sitting alone at a table to approach Corpulus at the counter. My eyes roamed the room for Cicero, but I didn't see the jester motley anywhere. The Fool had insisted that I be on time and he was nowhere in sight.
"Excuse me," I said putting my hand on the counter. "I'm supposed to meet someone here." Before I could continue, a hand covered mine. I turned and noticed the clothes of the man I had passed. As my eyes traveled up, I was shocked to see that it was Cicero. I hadn't even recognized him.
"Silly Diana," he said affectionately as he took my bag. Freshly cleaned hair floated about his face. The clothes were obviously new and as I looked I could tell they were from the Radiant Raiment. The dark forest green made Cicero's red hair look even more fiery than usual.
"Did Taarie or Endarie recognize you?" I asked as Cicero escorted me back to our table. I had worried that they would connect the dots that we had ordered a jester's outfit days before the Bard's College King Olaf festival had been sabotaged by a jester especially since Skyrim had not seen the merrymen in over a century.
"Of course they did! Cicero is the Dragonborn's husband after all and a good customer," Cicero laughed at his little joke he had pulled on me the last time we had been in Solitude. "Cicero promptly complained about how his wonderful outfit had been stolen by some wandering bandit who then used it for devious means." Cicero faked an angry scowl.
"The mean merchants quickly offered to commission another outfit, but concerned Cicero said he didn't want to be associated with such people and asked for something appropriate for today." He preened. "Does it pass?"
"Yes," I said as I touched the warm, thick material. Endarie must have noticed how much I liked the green the last time we had been there. Cicero smiled happily at my praise.
It didn't feel weird for Cicero to pull the chair out for me so I could sit down. As he pushed it in, Cicero said, "Let Cicero put Diana's bag away. I took the liberty of ordering something to drink while I was waiting."
While I waited, Corpulus brought a bottle of Cyrodilic brandy and two glasses. I admit that I was impressed. Cyrodilic brandy is very expensive normally; with the difficulty of importing during the war the price had to be higher than usual. Not that Cicero couldn't afford it.
Cicero returned shortly afterwards. He must have run to the room and back but didn't look out of breath. He picked up the bottle and started to pour some in a cup for me when I held my hand up. "I wasn't planning on drinking tonight," I admitted.
"Please, for Cicero," he said filling the cup with enough for a few sips. "Cicero doesn't want to drink alone." He poured the second cup.
"Aren't you on duty?" I asked picking up the glass. The dark amber liquid swirled in my hand.
"Not tonight," Cicero said as he pushed a chair next to mine before sitting down. He met my gaze as he drank. "Probably won't drink much, mind you. It's been a long time and Cicero doesn't want the wine to go to his head. He may make foolish mistakes and Diana won't respect him in the morning." I couldn't tell if he was flushing with pleasure or embarrassment.
I mentally shrugged and took a drink of the brandy. I had heard that Cyrodilic brandy is supposed to help increase one's stamina without any of the nasty side effects of other lesser refined alcohol. I still wanted a clear head for tonight, but a few drinks before dinner wouldn't be problematic, and Cicero deciding he wasn't the Keeper for a night was something to drink to. Liquid fire smoothly slid down my throat and I gasped in pleasure.
We ordered dinner and chatted while we waited. Cicero mostly spoke in first person tonight, the surest sign of lucidity for him. He was trying so hard to be Cicero the man tonight and not the jester. The only time I ever saw him as only one role was when he was performing the weekly oiling for the Night Mother. During those hours, Cicero was only the Keeper and nothing else.
"Aren't we supposed to talk about ourselves? Some 'get to know each other better' stuff?" I asked as I twirled my napkin. The brandy was already making me feel more relaxed for which I was grateful. I wasn't going to be able to talk if my heart had stayed jammed in my throat all night.
It was easier with Cicero here instead of me imagining what was going to happen. Sometime in the last year the jester had replaced Lydia as my best friend. I missed my housecarl, but there had been parts of me she simply hadn't understood that Cicero did. Maybe it was because he and I were both Imperial while Lydia considered herself a true Nordic daughter, one of the few things about her personality I honestly didn't care for. Or maybe it was because he and I were both predators on the hunt stealing through the night cloaked in shadow while Lydia was more a mother bear, fierce and loud but only concerned with taking care of her own.
"What does Diana wish to know?" Cicero asked playfully. His hands, still wearing his silly jester gloves, fiddled with his empty glass.
I paused. What could I ask that wouldn't bring up bad memories for him? "Tell me about how you became Keeper," I said hesitantly. It seemed unfair to have Cicero talk about his job the one night he had put it aside, but it was what Cicero was at his core.
"I remember when they brought Mother to Cheydinhal. Rasha had ordered her coffin opened so we could examine her body for any damage sustained from the journey. Garnag had been taken to his room to rest and heal. His eye had taken a terrible wound and Pontius was certain the orc would lose it. I lost my breath when I saw her. Dead and terrible, but beautiful and godly all at the same time. I wanted to fall to my knees and swear myself to her all over again.
"We thought surely the Night Mother would choose a new Listener soon. Honor one of us with her words and lead us once again. With so many Sanctuaries fallen it was imperative for us to hear the Black Sacraments to keep the faith of those who needed vengeance. Two months passed and no sign of a Listener being chosen. Garnag had recovered from his flight from Bravil and mentioned to Rasha that he had the Keeping Tomes; he had found them when he retrieved the Night Mother.
"Rasha decided to reinstate the position of Keeper. The remaining members of the Black Hand gathered to determine who would be given the honor. The next day Rasha informed me that I had been chosen. I was honored but saddened. To never lift my blade again, to never save a soul, pained me.
"Mother's body is perfectly preserved, but her crypt had been blessed to keep out the contaminations of the living. You've seen my work, you know what I do. I went to Mother and solemnly promised that when she was ready to speak that she would be able to; that her silence was only by her choice and not because she would be unable to. It was my responsibility. It was my vow."
Cicero fell silent with his story done. He drank some more brandy, his eyes still far away remembering those days vividly. I reached out and took his hand with mine. He squeezed it gratefully. A few moments passed as I absorbed his story. I never had expected for Cicero to be so forthright.
Our meals came and we were quiet as we ate.
"Tell me about how you defeated Alduin," Cicero countered. He stared at me challengingly. I usually gave very brief answers about things I didn't want to talk about while Cicero gave circular answers.
"Ugh," I groaned. It's what I got for opening this can of worms. "I had retrieved the Elder Scroll and read it to reveal how the heroes had defeated Alduin the first time. I was visiting my mentor Paarthurnax at the time. After Dragonrend, a Shout that was made by men to make dragons realize their own mortality, had been revealed to me, Alduin challenged me at the Throat of the World. Paarthurnax and I fought him and when he was weakened, Alduin retreated to Sovngarde to feast on the souls of heroes to regain his strength.
"Paarthurnax suggested that I trap one of Alduin's allies in Dragonsreach. The keep had originally been built to capture a dragon long ago by King Olaf. Jarl Balgruuf agreed to my request and I summoned the dragon by calling his name. Dragons respond to their names like a challenge. Odahviing came and we caught him as planned. I made the dragon swear fealty to me and we rode together to Skuldafn where Alduin's portal to Sovngarde was.
"I jumped in and found the afterlife in disarray from Alduin's domination. Souls lost in the fog and many gone from Alduin devouring them. I made my way to the whale bone bridge and challenged Tsun to combat for the right to cross. It was a difficult fight since I had to heavily rely on my Shouts, but I made it across.
"Once in Sovngarde proper, I found Hakon One-Eye, Felldir the Old, and Gormlaith Golden-Hilt, the heroes who had sent Alduin spiraling into our time. I told them what was going on in the world and they agreed to help me. We united our voices as one Shout and forced Alduin out of hiding. Together with our forces combined, we were able to truly kill Alduin and eliminate his threat forever.
"Tsun was pleased with my acts of heroism and promised me that I would return to Sovngarde after I died. I didn't agree with his thought that it was a reward and told him as much."
"And then?" Cicero asked.
"And then…he threw me out of heaven," I admitted with a sigh. Cicero burst into loud laughter. "Don't laugh! He still threatened that I had to come back some day." I scowled which made Cicero laugh harder.
"Don't worry, dear sister," Cicero said as he stood. He offered his hand and I took it. Cicero led me to the open floor near the bard and started to dance with me. "Our Dread Father will never let those barbaric Nords have you. He will pull you into the Void and have you serve him instead."
It was a bit tragic that the thought of nothingness forever was more appealing than existing at an eternal feast.
"Do you think there is dancing in the void? Singing? Surely our Father will allow the two of us to caper," Cicero suggested suddenly worried.
I giggled at the thought. "You're silly," I said.
"I would rather have no partner more than you," Cicero said seriously. "Cicero dreamed of a Listener for so long and is happy it is Hecate."
I swallowed nervously. I glanced around the inn and saw it was getting late. The patrons remained were couples who were cuddling and kissing in various corners of the inn. I could see lips brush against ears and speak the words normal people live for.
"Please promise me something," I said. "Promise me that you won't say the Binding Words." Cicero was confused so I continued, "Don't say the Binding Words that normal people use. Please, not tonight."
Cicero looked around the room and saw what I meant. Those three little words that lovers say on this day. The words husbands and wives share every night and each morning. Three little words that were being repeated right now by every couple in the room save the two of us.
"Not tonight," Cicero promised. "Unless Diana says them first." He kissed me, his lips firm and determined. "Are you ready?"
I nodded against Cicero's chest. As ready as I was going to be.
Loredas 16 Sun's Dawn 203 4E 8:00 PM
It was time.
I sat nervously on the huge bed. Cicero had left me alone for a few minutes to change and freshen up. I was now wearing the sexy purple dress. The feel of the cool cloth felt good against my fevered skin. I gently rubbed a thumb across the material and my nipple hardened in response leaving a sharp contrast. I was incredibly turned on right now.
There was a sharp knock at the door; Cicero was checking if I was ready. "Come in," I stammered. The Fool of Hearts walked in once again resplendent in his jester's motley. Had Cicero changed clothes for his own courage or to help me feel more comfortable?
I stood and walked towards the jester and he came towards me. Gloved hands circled my waist and hungry lips found mine again to continue the kiss from downstairs. "Tell Cicero what you want and it will be yours," he promised with his lips against my ear. Heat rapidly flushed across my body chasing away the chill.
I crushed Cicero's velvet top in my hands as he pushed me back towards the bed. I fell backwards onto the mattress with Cicero's weight pleasantly on me. I fumbled with his leather ties and he pulled the top of my dress down freeing my breasts. His gloved hand cupped my right breast while his mouth found the other.
I would never be able to undo his jerkin from this angle. I pushed Cicero so he rolled away. I followed and ended up on top of him. I grabbed both of his wrists and placed them above his head. Cicero left them there as if held by invisible bonds. I smiled; the Keeper was very obedient.
I managed to untie his jester's top and pulled the cloth open. I looked down at the bare skin crisscrossed with so many scars. A long angry gash here, small nicks there. Arnbjorn's evil bite dominated a large part of Cicero's left side. I ran my hand down Cicero's chest enjoying how his breathing deepened with pleasure. When I got to the bite scar, I gently traced it with one finger. I was surprised when Cicero gasped and began to laugh and wiggle.
"Listener, that tickles!" he complained. His hands were still firmly where I had left them. Every interesting indeed and something I couldn't pass up.
"This?" I asked innocently as I lightly traced my fingertips over his chest. Cicero laughed harder and bucked against me to try to get me to stop. I was amused to note that he didn't actually tell me "no" or "stop" as he begged.
I alternated the pressure of my touch to see exactly how sensitive Cicero was. If I barely hovered my finger above his skin, he would still be tickled. The barest touches drove him crazy while firmer ones brought pleasure. I laughed at how quickly his breathing would change from aroused to laughter.
Finally, my fingers slipped under Cicero's pants line. I enjoyed the feel of his coarser pubic hair before grasping his manhood. The flesh jerked in my hand as he stiffened. It was too much fun to watch Cicero as I stroked him. "Diana," he groaned as he arched his back to push himself further into my grasp.
This was the farthest we had ever gotten. I kept waiting for someone to interrupt us. Maybe a dragon attack or Ulfric's army suddenly outside of Solitude would stop everything. Hell, I could imagine Nazir bursting through the door and yelling that we were needed.
My thoughts were straying like they did too often during sex. I wondered if Nazir had arrived at Riften to talk to Delvin Mallory about fitting the torture room or if the Redguard had stopped for the night to find someone to share his bed. What was Meena up to now? Would Babette try anything with Aventus for Heart's Day?
I gasped when I suddenly was flung on my back and Cicero was on top of me. His hands were holding my arms tightly, not enough to hurt but to get my attention. "Don't wander away," the jester begged as his amber eyes boring deeply into me. "Stay with Cicero."
"Okay," was all I managed. I kept my eyes on Cicero's even as his kisses traveled further and further down my body.
Any moment now something would interrupt us.
But for a change, nothing did.
Loredas 16 Sun's Dawn 203 4E 9:00 PM
"How can Cicero help you?" I could only see the jester's back, but I could tell by his tone he was wearing his shit-eating grin.
"I need to ask you to stop. That... Shouting... it's making people nervous." A Solitude guard said, his voice indignant. After Cicero had gone down on me, I had screamed so hard from coming my thu'um had caused items to fall off the bookshelves. Clearly some of our neighbors had heard us.
Cicero leaned with one arm on the door frame. "It's not really Cicero's fault. Well, it is, but can you blame me?" I couldn't keep in my giggles anymore and started laughing. The poor guard had to be extremely uncomfortable since Cicero was wearing only his cap, boots, and gloves.
"Leave the poor man alone. He's just doing his job," I managed to say between gales of laughter.
"Good, glad we straightened that out." The guard quickly left.
Cicero closed the door and returned to the bed. As he kicked off his boots, he said, "Now for Cicero's turn." The Fool of Hearts grin was enough to eat me alive.
Loredas 16 Sun's Dawn 203 4E 10:00 PM
"Can't say I've heard any laws against... Whatever it is you're doing. But I'll lock you up if I have to." The guard threatened this time. I could see Corpulus standing nervously behind him.
"Whatever," I said as I slammed the door in the guard's face.
"I've got my eye on you," was the guard's muffled reply.
I dropped the thin sheet that I had wrapped around myself as I returned to the bed.
Loredas 16 Sun's Dawn 203 4E 11:00 PM
"Unfair! Unjust!" Cicero screamed as we were physically thrown out of the Skeever. The third time there had been a noise complaint, the guards just came into the room and picked us up and dragged us out of our room. I had barely managed to drag on my underclothes before being evicted, but Cicero had decided to fight with the guards instead of protecting his dignity. "Cicero wants a refund!"
"You didn't even pay for the room," Corpulus snarled as he hit Cicero in the face with his jester's clothes.
Now we were outside in the middle of the night with little to no clothes on, our things thrown on the ground with the Keeper screaming angrily at the inn. I was too busy laughing to be any help. Every time I would look at Cicero, I would start laughing again.
Finally, I managed to calm down enough to grab up our things. "Come on, I don't want to end the night in jail," I said as I grabbed Cicero's hand. The Fool turned towards me smiling.
"Where to then?" he asked as he quickly pulled on the underclothes I handed him.
"My place," I grabbed Cicero's hand tightly as we ran laughing like idiots into the night. "Hold on tight," I warned. I wanted to get back to the privacy of a bedroom as soon as possible. "WULD!"
A/N: I really enjoyed writing this part. Especially with the scenes with the guards.
I hope this satisfied everyone who has been waiting. =)