They Had Lights in Their Eyes

Eight

'Swallowed in the Sea'

The fire was blazing, by the time the Circle had linked hands around it. Flames sparked with an almost sinister intention, and Adam stared at it in tense shock. Had he really just created that? He had always prided himself in being the do-gooder and man of eloquence, even when it meant he had to serve as the martyred victim. Never in his existence had he been the black instead of white, let alone enjoyed being the former. The feeling was utterly terrifying, and Adam felt nervous even being in his own skin. He could sense the timid hold Diana had around his left hand, and knew very well that she was uneasy about him. He'd never been a source of terror; just the thought of that made him shudder. Why had he changed so suddenly? The swiftness of it all was just as ominous as the affects. Turning his attention to the wondrous blonde at his right, her hand was firmly placed in his, and he detected not even a slight doubt in her. Cassie seemed to trust him with an undying support, and Adam couldn't help but smile warmly at that. But it also disheartened him; she knew so little about his past, and in turn him, that could he really believe she liked him for him? Well, of course she did, but Cassie Blake was miles away from meeting the real Adam.

Eyes locked on the fire, he heard Diana begin to speak, but her voice was no more than a distant whisper, barely even attempting to speak over the ringing in his head. Adam had always loved her voice: so pleasant, so kind, and all together voluptuous in its own way. It was a harmonious tune that spun flawlessly on an antique gramophone, and had a certain flow and elegance that he still could not pin down. Diana's voice was the first thing that had drawn him to her, actually, and as it turned out that had not been enough to keep a relationship going. Adam was certainly not jaded towards speaking voices now, but it had shown him that love is more than a single trait being amplified and exhausted until even it no longer bears its spark. Lifting his stormy blue eyes, he watched Diana's mouth move like a gentle breeze, and decided that listening would be much less painful than his internal thoughts.

"Alright, so is everyone ready?" The Circle nodded at Diana numbly, just wanting to get this whole thing over with; Faye most of all. She didn't know exactly why, but Cassie was in the position of being a major threat, and Faye did not take well to people standing in her way.

Diana breathed in deeply, eyes fluttering to a close, recited "Hic circa hoc ignis nos stare, spirans in cum manus. Cumunum pagina irritum, nos nituntur ad re plete aperto. Ita ad nobishanc puella ad aeternum vitta." The fire crackled for a moment or two, before the orange embers began to fall slower, and all members of the Circle felt the surge of electricity flow through them. Cassie was now a part of the Circle.

The shock that went through Adam's body was not the odd tickle everyone else felt. A look of pain screeched across his face, while a goofy and lopsided smirk giggled about on the other members' lips. Why was he different? That was always a question Adam seemed to be asking himself. He'd never been normal; not even before his birth (if that's even possible). His father had had a curious upbringing and life, and that had sadly trickled down into Adam's personality and fate, influencing him with a stern severity. It was akin to a curse, but he hated to look at it in that way. Ethan Conant had done his best at raising him, and Adam loved his father for that. But Ethan's best effort was barely considered the mediocre days of the other parents around him.

If a person was to look at a photo of the Conant boys, they'd only see the surface: two fairly attractive men with the same glitteringly enchanted blue eyes, and smiles of utter pleasantness, hoarding a shadow of past pain. But that was barely even the truth; a picture was so vague in its description of Ethan and Adam, that it could scarcely be considered reality.

But maybe it was better that way. The defensive walls surrounding Adam and his father protected them from showing the world exactly who they were, and what had morphed them into those people. The younger Conant hadn't always been so pensive and thoughtful—in fact, he'd embodied the complete opposite. But after the lake and his sister, Adam had vowed never to sacrifice safety and responsibility for the instant gratification of a good time.

"Did it work?" Cassie asked in cautious expectancy, and Diana smiled at her. Adam shifted his gaze between the two girls still holding onto his hands, and couldn't even conjure a primal mutter from his throat.

"Yeah," Diana returned when no one else stepped up to confirm it, "it worked. How do you feel?" The question wasn't quite serious, but not fully a joke. Cassie bit her lip, trying to form her feelings into words.

"Weird, I guess. I don't feel different really, but I do. I don't know; maybe my mind's playing tricks on me." She laughed, shaking her head. "Thank you, by the way, for letting me into your Circle; all of you." Everyone supplied her with a smile, and Adam squeezed her hand supportively.

"Yeah, well it wasn't like we had much of a choice," Faye drawled, crossing her arms and fixing her almost raven black eyes on Cassie.

"Faye," Melissa reprimanded from beside her dark friend, and Faye simply rolled her eyes in return. Cassie had had enough of her attitude to last her a lifetime. She didn't even have a clue as to why Faye was so cruel to her; what had she ever done?

"No, it's alright," Cassie returned sweetly, ignoring her primal instincts to lunge herself at the girl. Fighting fire with fire was no way to extinguish Faye's bitterness, and Cassie didn't even have to know her for that to be true. She'd experienced many girls like Faye Chamberlain throughout her life, and had put up with enough of them to know there was no easy way to change them.

"You know what," Diana piped in with her usual cheeriness, "how about we all go to the Boat House and just have a nice lunch… the whole Circle." She fixed her gaze primarily on Faye and Melissa, knowing if anyone was to back out, it'd be them. Nick was already distancing himself from the group after his breakup with Melissa, and the two best friends weren't far behind him.

"I think it's a good idea," Melissa replied in innocent support. Despite being known as Faye's wingman, she still had a soft spot for Diana; they'd been best friends for years, after all. The brunette beauty returned her old friend's little smile, and thought that this could be a new start for all of them. With Cassie in the Circle now, they were given a new perspective, and Diana had always thought that to be a good thing.

The remaining members of the group nodded in consensus, and began to filter out of the grassy areas and back towards the woods.

"How about we take the shortcut," Diana suggested, when the congested forest became too monotonous. Diana had never dealt well with silence, and this was one of those many times when the quiet was all but wanted.

"No—no, I uh, think we're fine on this route," Adam returned hesitantly, beginning to wring his hands together. They were oddly clammy and nothing short of disgusting. Adam loathed the shortcut…

Diana sighed, "Oh Adam, I'm sorry." She wasn't about to say she forgot, because to be honest, the whole town was aware of the tragedy at the lake, and it could never be forgotten. Chance Harbor rarely ever got devastating news, let alone a death in its county borders.

"What are you guys talking about?" Cassie probed, disliking being the odd man out. That was one of the many consequences of being the new girl in town.

"It's um, nothing; really." Diana shrugged off the comment with a much accelerated anxiety, and looked to Adam's clear and melancholy blue eyes. He was probably going to tell Cassie the story anyways, and that somehow made her resentful. It shouldn't though; the accident was public knowledge for anyone to know…

"No, I'll tell her," Adam replied with a forced tone of mildness, "you guys go on ahead." No one was about to argue with him on the matter, not even Faye. The group continued on its way, and Adam and Cassie lagged behind. The trees seemed to encircle them, creating almost a hidden utopia where any secret or pain could be kept safe.

"You don't have to tell me Adam," Cassie whispered, not meeting his gaze. She could sense that whatever this was, it was nothing Adam could say easily. She heard him breath heavily, and watched him take a seat on the moist ground. Despite the yells and pleads from her jeans, she joined Adam on the dirt floor of the woods.

"I want to tell you," he whispered, "it's not something I get to talk aloud about often." Bringing one knee up to his chest, he looked intently at the gorgeous blonde beside him, and almost lost his confidence to speak. "You would've found out eventually, and I'd rather you hear it from me…"

"Okay," Cassie said tentatively, placing a strand of hair behind her ear. It was never good when someone started out a story like this.

"The shortcut Diana was talking about passes a lake. It's sort of like the main attraction of the town in the summer." Adam cleared his throat, "anyways, about six years ago, I went there with my dad, and my, um, sister." The last word was barely audible, but the intense pangs of pain he voiced certainly were. He could tell Cassie wanted to interject, but he shook his head subtly. "My dad told me to watch her while we were there, since he couldn't see that far out, and I agreed, but didn't exactly follow through. Aria could swim, so I didn't think anything would happen."

Cassie watched as Adam's once brilliant face fell into ruins right before her eyes, and she was surprised he suppressed the urge to cry. Her heart certainly went out to him, and she feebly wished there was something she could do or say to make the pain go away. But coming from experience, there's nothing really, to lull the pain of a lost loved one. She listened on.

"I guess a freak current got to her, or she tired herself out, because when I looked to where she was, there was nothing there." Adam sighed heavily, trying desperately to keep his thoughts clear and concise. "At first I thought she was playing a trick on me, so I turned back around…

"I let my little sister die, Cassie." The tears were now noticeably forming in Adam's eyes, and he didn't even try to shake them. "I can never forgive myself for it. I could've saved her; I could've stopped her from going under in the first place. But I let Aria drown… how could I have done that?" His words were flooded with guilt and misery, and accusation swarmed around in the sentences too. His entire body trembled with the sickening feeling he hadn't felt since the instant aftermath of the situation. Emotions and thoughts he hadn't felt in years came crashing over him, and it was unsettling how it took Cassie Blake (a girl he barely knew) to bring them all back.

"It was an accident," Cassie chocked out. It was harshly apparent that Adam blamed the whole tragedy on himself, and she'd do anything to change his attitude.

"Even if it was, I had the power to stop it and I didn't." He ran a shaking hand through his hair, and then placed it uneasily on his knee.

"You didn't know, Adam," Cassie soothed, placing her delicate hand over his, subtly lacing their fingers together. "Tragedies happen all the time; we can't stop all of them." The words seemed hollow, and she knew they probably did Adam little to no good, but it was all she had.

"Aria didn't deserve to die," Adam whispered almost darkly, "she was sweet, and kind, and bright—she had a future. A whole world was waiting to meet her, and they were deprived of that chance because I didn't want to take responsibility."

"I'm sure she doesn't blame you for any of it," she returned, solidifying her hand tenderly over his. Adam never backed away from her touch; rather, he leaned into it. The scars of desolation that were torn across his strong features, gave Cassie insight into just how broken Adam truly was.

"Even if she doesn't, I still blame myself. To some extent, my father blames me too. Not that I can argue with that. I was stupid, Cassie. A ten year old boy without a single care in the world: not even my own sister's own well being.

"I'm forgetting her," he bit out with a shake in his voice, "how could I forget her? Aria's smile is blurring, and her eye color has become a hazy mess… I don't even remember what her voice sounds like." Adam shook his head once more, and Cassie meekly held his hand tighter.

"I don't know what to say to you… or if there's anything to say. I may not have known you for as long as the others, but I know you're a good person Adam. You can blame yourself for what happened to Aria, and you can think about the 'what ifs', but what good will that do for her memory? I'm sure she'd much rather prefer you remembering the good times you two had, instead of the bad. I know all of what I'm saying probably means nothing to you right now, but just think about it. Life's too short to dwell only on the bad in life. Moving on doesn't make you heartless; but beating yourself up over what happened isn't doing you any good either. You'll see her again, one day," Cassie smiled.

"You don't think I'm a monster?" Adam whispered in reply, lifting his heavily wet eyes to meet Cassie's.

"A monster? Adam, you could never be that. People make mistakes—even the most severe ones can and should be forgiven. Humans are a work in progress… if you had no flaws or dark past, then I'd be worried. I'm not saying forget what happened, because it did and you can't change that. But Aria will forgive you; she probably already has."

"Thank you," Adam said in almost a whimper, "no one's ever reacted to this like that. They were either there, give their deepest sympathies, or find a way to escape the conversation. But you're so different, Cassie… thank you."

She knew his words were genuine. And even if she couldn't hear what he'd said, the expression on his face was enough for her. It wasn't quite relief, but it was as if a large piece of the burden had been lifted.

"You're welcome," she replied simply, smiling as Adam placed his other hand over hers.

After such a deep and emotional subject, Cassie couldn't even begin to think of how to get back to the way they were twenty minutes ago. But somehow it didn't feel like there had to be some awkward transition. Both Adam and Cassie found solace in their secluded little section of the woods, hands intertwined and superfluous words never to be spoken.

So an emotional roller coaster of a chapter. I do hope you enjoyed it, despite the lack of magic (and sadly, overall description. I've been so crunched for time recently). If the Aria story happened too fast, my deepest apologies; I just wanted to get the plot moving, and this is the best way I could find. Your feedback and ideas are always much appreciated.

Be good and review

Note: Diana's spell roughly translates into: 'Here around this fire we stand, breathing in with latched hands. With one link broken, we strive to fill the open space. So to us we bring this girl to forever lace.'