"Is this your first time on a date?"

Alucard blinked at the sudden question and looked at the smug teen. Old memories arose in the nosferatu's mind and he smirked to himself before answering. "No."

A little disappointed, John lost his humor for a while. Then his eyes traced over the girl's porcelain skin, noticing how it blended with the dress she was wearing. He grinned and picked up the conversation again. "What did you do with your dates? Go to the movies? Out to dinner?"

Alucard wore a disturbing smile as he chuckled darkly to himself. 'You could say…that I took them to dinner."

"Did they pay for the meal?"

The vampire's smile twisted. "In a way, yes. They provided the food."

John watched the dark humor, shaking his head. Sometimes, he just couldn't understand the opposite sex. Another thought entered the boy's mind and he looked at his date curiously. "Did you ever kiss any of your past boyfriends?"

Alucard recoiled with a shudder, covering his face with his hands. "No." he said strongly, filling the boy with joy. "I don't….I've never had…" he groaned before finishing. "…boyfriends." Another shudder ran through the vampire as he was overwhelmed with disgust.

John's eyes were wide. "So I'm your first boyfriend? Even through you've been on other dates?"

Twitching, Alucard's eyes found the ecstatic teen and he frowned. "You are not my…" he flinched. "…boyfriend….little boy. And I have NEVER dated…." Another shudder. " boys." Alucard slouched in his seat miserably. Now I feel like some kind of pervert, he thought with a sigh.

John, meanwhile, had a smile that could grow no larger and he snickered. "So…your dates were girls?"

Remembering who he was talking to, Alucard scoffed as he glanced at the all too happy expression on John's face. "Not in the way you're imagining."

Crestfallen, John's eyes fell to the teddy bear on Alucard's lap. His lips tilted upward. "Do you like the bear?"

Not suspecting the question and having forgotten about the stuffed animal's presence, Alucard hesitated before murmuring a reply. "Sure."

Already used to detached responses like this, John was content with the girl's reply. Alucard picked up the bear and stared into its lifeless black eyes, seeing himself reflected in them. He blinked, his eyes widening as they distinctly saw the white-beanie-wearing girl. The vampire frowned. "I look like a frilly doll."

John stared at the displeased expression with a renewed smile. "You always do."

Suddenly glaring at the boy as the taxicab lost momentum, the vampire scowled. "I never wear frilly dresses."

"You should. You look cute."

Alucard's response was postponed by a grimace. "No…NEVER say that again."

John's eyes glinted. "But you do." He leaned towards the agitated girl, oblivious to the life-threatening situation. "You look like a princess."

The cabdriver turned to tell his passengers that they had arrived at their destination. He paused, scowling at what he found. "Kids these days." He muttered eyeing the girl who had tackled the boy on the backseat and was now pinning him down, their faces inches apart. He cleared his throat noisily and the two looked up at him in surprise. "My cab isn't a love hotel…get out."

John burst out laughing while Alucard looked like he had swallowed a silver crucifix.

"I WAS TRYING TO KILL HIM NOT SEDUCE HIM!" the vampire snarled defensively as John got out. The cab driver chuckled grimly.

"Think of a better excuse next time, girly. And be smart about boys."

The vampire started to argue, but John opened the door and pulled Alucard out, gently. Cursing blasphemous threats under his breath, Alucard didn't bother to look at his surroundings as the boy led the way. Some yards behind them, Anderson melded into the sidewalk crowd, eying the black haired girl with distrustfully as the two went down an obscure alleyway. The priest hid in the shadows as he followed the pair, watching as a figure approached the teen and the vampire.

John gasped loudly, causing Alucard to break the glare he had fixed on the ground, and his eyes stopped on the black handgun that poked out of a stranger's sleeve. The man pointed the gun at John.

"Give me all you got…and hurry!" The gun moved closer to the youth's chest. Shaking faintly, John slowly reached into his back pocket. He tried to hand the wallet to the man, but the gun met his hand instead.

"Drop it on the ground and go to the wall! Hands on your head! Now!" The boy flinched, but did as he was told, watching Alucard nervously. He was ready to throw himself between the two should things turn violent. The man faced the girl, overlooking the wallet for the moment. The gun pointed at the raven hair.

"You too. Give me your purse and go to the wall."

Alucard frowned in annoyance. "I don't have a purse."

The man started and looked at the girl's hands. He had mistaken the bear for a purse on his first glance. "Well, give me your money and jewelry."

"I don't have those either."

The man bit his tongue, a little put off by the steady red eyes and their lack of fear. Snarling, he stepped forward. "Then give me your pretty little jacket, girl. Now!"

The man licked is lips nervously as Alucard took his time responding. "It's a sweater." The man growled in outrage, but Alucard continued despite the spittle that flew in random directions from the man's clenched yellowing teeth. "It doesn't belong to me, so I can't give it to you."

"I don't bloody care who it belongs to!" Roared the man, enraged. "I'm taking the goddamn thing!"

Alucard's face was void of emotion. "No."

"NO!" the man's eyes dilated as he lunged forward, grabbing wildly at the girl to rip the sweater off her. The gun tapped against Alucard's forehead. John started to move, pushing from the wall as he twisted to face the assailant, but his step halted and he went rigid.

Alucard had somehow taken the gun from the man's hands and now had it directed at the man's sweating forehead. The nosferatu smiled pleasantly as the man blanched and tried to back away.

"Stop."

The man followed the command, swallowing noisily. He licked his chapped lips. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger." He smiled weakly, but lost it at the easy humor that came into the flashing demonic eyes.

"Give me your money."

There was quiet as three pairs of eyes gawked at Alucard. Smirking, the vampire repeated himself.

"Give me…your money." There was an eerie giggle that made the man tremble violently as a hungry smile flashed at him. "Or I will shoot you…I haven't killed anything in a while. I miss the blood and screams."

The man's pants grew damp as a few fives fluttered to the filthy asphalt.

"Good." Alucard crooned, gazing down at the man. "Now…" the gun clicked. "…run for your worthless life."

As the man dashed away blindly, bumping into things hidden in the gloom, John stood dumbfounded as his little frilly date picked up the money and folded it, slipping the fives into the ribbon tied around teddy bear's neck. Alucard scooped up the wallet and forced it into the boy's deadened hands, bringing him back to reality.

John started at the sight of the gun. "What are you going to do with that?"

The vampire cocked an eyebrow. "No comments about what just happened?"

"Oh!" John shook his head to straighten out his thoughts. Alucard gasped uncomfortably when the boy hugged him, squeezing the vampire with a huge smile. "I'm glad you're not dead! And you're absolutely amazing Alucard! Though, you're also the scariest girl I've ever met!"

Pushing the boy away, Alucard muttered to himself as he started walking. Before John could ask the vampire where he was going, he was forced to gape when Alucard pulled his calculus teacher from behind a stack of cardboard boxes. Like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, he thought absently.

"Mr. Anderson."

The priest glared down at the demon. "What?" he snapped, perturbed that he had been found out. Alucard offered him the gun.

"Here."

Anderson and John stared at the girl. The paladin frowned. "I don't want it."

The vampire smirked. "But, Teacher…" he spoke slowly. "…do you really want one of your students to be playing with something like this? Guns are supposedly deadly weapons, no matter how small they are."

Without further comment, Alucard slipped the pistol into Anderson's jacket and he whistled gaily as he went back to John. Pushing the boy forward to lead the way again, the creature laughed lightly. "This is a lot more fun than I thought it would be. What's next on the agenda, little boy? A shootout with a mob of gangsters?" He laughed again.

John gaped at his date, unable to speak for a few moments. Then he exclaimed, "I can't believe you gave that creepy teacher a gun!" Alucard's eyes went to the teen in surprise. John was looking behind them as Anderson froze in mid-step with a stupefied expression. "And look!" John growled, stopping as well to point accusingly at the priest. "He's still following us!" His eyes went back to Alucard with concern. "He's probably one of those…um…" the boy snapped his fingers, "….sexual predators you hear about on the news! And you gave him a bloody gun!"

Anderson looked like he had been slapped in the face while Alucard was in awe of what the boy had said for a few moments. Then he let out a roar of laughter.

"You think he's targeting me?" Alucard joked, and the monster grinned when the boy nodded vigorously. "He's a Catholic priest." John started. "You should be more worried about yourself, little boy."

"I'M NOT HERE TO MOLEST YOU! DAMN MONSTER!" Anderson seethed, clenching his fists so that several of his knuckles cracked.

Alucard laughed again, looking back at the priest as the two left the alley. "Go away, creepy teacher. It's not like I'm going to eat the boy or anything."

"What?" John's brow furrowed as he peered down at Alucard.

The vampire shrugged. "He thinks I'm a 566 year old vampire that preys upon little boys. I can assure you….I do not eat little boys….for fun."

John shuddered and couldn't bring himself to look at Anderson anymore. "He's deranged."

The vampire simply laughed while Anderson sulked in the darkness, all alone.