The russet stained wood shone, bare, without a table cloth masking the surface while crimson placemats were covered by silverware, wrapped in a white, cloth napkin. Undead eyes stared at the display as Alucard sat across from John and waited for the waitress to set the menus down on the placemats.
"Our special today is Halibut drowned in a…"
Drowned? Scarlet eyes glanced at the waitress who seemed a bit distracted by John who was smiling at her. I didn't know a fish could drown.
"…wine vinaigrette sauce. And…" the girl continued, eventually loosing the vampire's attention.
Space cadet. Alucard thought to himself before he eyed the menu in front of him. The demon could sense that Father Anderson had followed them into the restaurant and was now seated in an unobvious corner where gloom concealed him from John's senses….if the boy had any…the nosferatu looked at the teen who was naturally flirting with the waitress, asking her what she preferred to eat when she came to this restaurant with her own boyfriend. The girl giggled as if he were the funniest person on earth, even covering her mouth with the back of her hand and blushing.
"I don't have a boyfriend at the moment."
"Oh?" John looked surprised. "But you're so pretty."
She had another laugh-attack and then leaned over John to point at and comment about the dishes she liked. John grinned at the waitress and thanked her warmly, but he made her sputter indignantly when he looked at the vampire with the same smile and asked if it wanted to try any of them.
Alucard hadn't been paying attention and the annoyance he had for the pouting waitress distracted him, so hesitated before looking at his unopened menu. Doubt began to tug at the back of his mind when he pictured himself actually eating solid food, imaging a decaying, drowning halibut in a saucepan for some reason when he thought of human food.
"What do you have that's blood oriented?" the vampire asked without looking up from the menu. He failed to notice the disgusted look he received from the girl and the stunned expression on John's face.
"Blood …what?" the waitress stammered, forcing herself not to back away from the deranged girl.
Alucard sighed and directed two narrowed eyes at the waitress, almost growling. "Never mind." He went back to exploring the menu with distaste while John was asked if he wanted any refreshments.
"I'll just have water." The boy smiled again, trying to disperse the awkwardness that had come with Alucard's strange question. He looked at his date and asked her if she wanted something.
"Red wine."
There was quiet as the two humans gaped at the girl's temerity.
"You're under aged." The waitress frowned, putting her hand on her hip for her show of anger.
"Fine. I'll have…something red." Alucard murmured, red eyes scanning the menu.
"Red?" the girl echoed, even more disturbed now. John didn't know how to respond so he just stared at his date in awe. "Like blood?"
Alucard snorted in amusement and his eyes flicked to the waitress. "Are you offering?"
"What?" the girl backed away hurriedly, but stopped when Alucard chuckled lightly and looked at the list of refreshments on the menu.
"I'll have the tomato juice…called a V8."
The girl, still uneasy about the vampire, wrote down the order before disappearing. Anderson was staring at the demon in confusion, unable to picture him drinking something so…vegetarian.
"Do you have a thing for…blood?"
Alucard looked at John for a moment before ignoring him. "I stole fifteen dollars from the mugger, so that'll cover the can of tomato juice and the…rest of the food." The creature twitched again as the image of the drowning halibut invaded his mind.
"What?" John broke in. "No. Keep it" he waved his hands in protest. "I'll pay for everything."
"I have money, I need to do something with it." The vampire was frowning as he considered the steak on the menu. If only they offered it raw…he thought and continued, passing the list of pastas and other bread oriented dishes. I might have to go vegetarian tonight… Alucard suddenly scowled at the thought. I'm a carnivore…not a rabbit….I don't eat lettuce…. Red eyes scorned the salads with contempt. Broccoli…mini trees… What the hell? They have escargot? Snails? I don't eat bugs! Never have and never will! And…we aren't even anywhere near France…so why…?
"You seem to be having a hard time." John snickered, bringing Alucard's head from behind the menu he had propped up on his placemat. John noticed this and he smirked. "You're really short, you know."
The nosferatu blinked rapidly and gave a crooked smile. "At the moment…I'm a girl, so I'm not going to be over six feet tall…I scare people as is."
The teen's eyes grew and then he laughed good humouredly. "A six foot Alucard? That is scary."
"Over six feet." The vampire corrected absently and went back to reading the menu with a frown.
John smiled at the dark haired girl and noticed how the light made her pitch hair shimmer pleasantly. "I think you're perfect as you are."
"Hm." Alucard wasn't listening now, having just found a promising tomato bisque. Very red, the vampire mused and his lips twitched into a slight smile at the memory of the delicious liquid. The boy saw this as a response to what he had said and he smiled with a sense of victory as he picked up his own menu.
Suddenly a glass of water, filled with clinking ice cubes, was lowered onto a coaster in front of John while the V8 wasn't set on a coaster so that it would slide over to Alucard, allowing the waitress to keep a safe distance from the vampire. The girl's eyes lingered on John as he smiled and thanked her. She returned the smile before scurrying away to a different table. Alucard was watching the can, noting without interest that the girl had not bothered to offer him the option of pouring the juice into another glass. She's not getting one cent of my fifteen dollars….the vampire sighed dejectedly, resigning to opening the can and bringing it to his face so that he could glare at the red liquid. Alucard didn't bother smelling the concoction of vegetable blood before he brought it to his lips and swallowed his first sip. His whole body went rigid and his eyes squinted shut as a shudder rippled down his spine. A cough caught John's attention and he stood halfway out of his chair, concern written all over his face.
"Are you okay? Alucard?" He said the nosferatu's name again as Alucard took a few seconds to respond with a nod. The boy paused, unconvinced as the girl failed to open her eyes. "Are you sure about that? I thought you were choking…"
Red eyes finally opened and the undead being relaxed his taut muscles, only a single un-voluntary twitch remained, but Alucard ignored it. "I'm fine." The vampire cringed with an added scowl as he heard his own voice crack. "I'm fine."
This time the response was strong and a little intimidating because of the growl that rolled behind it, so John sat back down, sulking as he considered his date to be unsatisfied with the restaurant at the moment.
Scratch the tomato bisque…Alucard said mentally and glared at his menu. Just because it's red doesn't mean it's going to taste better than the other crap here. Then another thought interrupted his stream of consciousness. "I'd never eaten a tomato before…" he mumbled and flipped the menu over after scanning through the individual pages. The list of various wines teased his taste buds and he irately turned the menu over to start all over again.
"You've never eaten tomatoes before?" Undead eyes flicked up to John's incredulous expression and then blinked in acknowledgment before falling to the lists of dishes. "So you don't like them?"
"Guess not…and I'm still paying for the drink." Alucard turned the page, the sound muffling John's frustrated 'humph'.
"No."
"Yes." The vampire chewed his lip in thought, considering the minestrone soup…or at least trying to figure out what it was like from the description. Liquid food is my best bet…
"No."
"Yessss. I am." Maybe…steak is better? It is meat…and it has blood in it…more so if I request that it is prepared extra rare…
"I am paying for everything…and that's final. I'm the guy. I pay for stuff."
"Then I can pay for stuff too." No. Steak is too tough. I can't digest something that had been grilled…I don't think…hmmm
"Are you saying you're a guy?"
"Sure." That only leaves the salads…can I eat vegetables? The juice was…revolting…like…can't even describe…
"You're not a guy, Alucard."
"I'm a man." Kid's being annoying…can't concentrate with stupid questions coming every other second…
"You wear white panties…"
The menu slapped onto the table violently revealing Alucard's wide crimson eyes as he stared at the boy. "Did you just say what I think you…?" The demon shook his head, trying to recall the mindless responses he had been giving. Out of the corner of his eye he found Anderson gawking obviously in their direction, disgust marring his features along with a slight blush. "Damn it. Anderson misinterpreted that…If he tells Maxwell and the leech reports this to Integra…" Alucard groaned in his hands, forgetting the teen for a moment as he rubbed away a threatening headache. Stress…or was it annoyance that was piling on him? I miss the mugger already…would have been fun to shoot him…or at least make him scream a little and beg for mercy… I think I even miss having a master to tease…and killing ghouls… God, I'd steep so low as to enjoy killing ghouls? It's pathetic, what boredom does to a person…
"Who's Maxwell?" John demanded, his face was riddled with confusion. "And why are you bringing up that…mentally ill, stalker-teacher?"
Alucard couldn't help but snort at the reference and he ignored the first question entirely, simply jutting his thumb out at the priest in the corner. Anderson paled in horror when he saw that John had jumped out of his seat and was pointing directly at him in disbelief, but he calmed a little when Alucard appeared to have quieted the boy and convinced him to settle back into his seat.
"It's creepy!" John brought a fist to the table and glowered at the priest in the corner. "Why is he following you?"
"He thinks I'm dangerous and he's overprotective of children…so he's here to make sure I don't eat or rape you."
There was quiet and the voices of others in the restaurant occupied the air as John's head slowly turned to face Alucard, his mouth a tight line. He stared at the vampire for a few seconds before attempting to speak. "Eat…or…rape…me?"
"Yes."
"That's completely psychotic!" A few people jerked and looked at John before returning to their meals while Anderson pouted in his corner, crossing his arms indignantly.
"Heathen brat." The paladin muttered, his eyes boring into his tea-occupied table. He took a sip of the refreshment and then crossed his arms again.
"I applaud your choice of words, but…that's the hard truth. Anderson is just protecting you, so ignore him…makes him happy, anyway." Alucard mumbled over his menu, resuming his hunt for something that wouldn't make him want to hurl.
"You like him, don't you?" John accused without warning.
"What do you mean?" the vampire's gaze refused to leave the plastic covering on the menu in his hands. "He's like a close and beloved…mortal enemy."
The boy was struck dumb for several moments. "That's not a normal teacher/student relationship…hell….that's not normal no matter how you look at it."
"Special. Just think of it like that. Special. He absolutely abhors me."
John cringed and shot another dagger filled glare at the man in the corner before looking at his date. "Do you hate him?"
"Hm? No. Don't really hate him…it's just like…he's yin and I'm yang. Opposites." A human and a monster. Alucard blinked and his eyes ran over the lists of soups for the tenth time. "Do you know what minestrone soup is like? Is it thick? And does it have lots of noodles? I can't eat things made out of grain or flour."
John was a bit taken aback by the response he had gotten and the sudden change in topic so he stuttered before he answered. "Wh…what? Um…soup…it's like brothy and stuff…I don't think brothy is a word…but you get the concept, right? And it has those little shell noodles in it…not a lot though. It mainly has vegetables and the soup part."
"Shell…noodles?" Alucard looked at John and then the menu and crinkled his nose. "Made out of shells or in the shape of shells?"
"What?" The boy's mouth slowly grew into an awkward smile and he laughed. "Pff. Of course it's the shape. Haven't you seen them before?"
"No. I'm…not interested in food, so I haven't wasted time looking into the varieties…"
John's eyes widened a little as he looked Alucard over. "Have you ever been to a restaurant before?"
"No…I've been to one or two, but I most certainly haven't eaten in one." Integra…or even Arthur…would have had a fit…tasting the waitresses is forbidden…same with the maids…unfortunately. Arthur had some nice ones…dressed in French maid uniforms…now that's a real meal…comes with its own entertainment…
The teen suddenly seemed a little sad and excited at the same time. "That's why you're having so much trouble ordering, isn't it?"
"Sure." Alucard glanced at the priest and found him analyzing their table with a blank expression. "He can hear us pretty well, can't he?"
"What?"
"Nothing." Alucard answered and looked down at the menu, knitting his brow. "I…believe…" A finger stabbed into the menu after it was laid flat on the table. "…I'll order the minestrone soup. It's Italian, right?"
"I think so…this place has a variety of foods from different countries…that's why I chose it. I didn't know what you'd like….but they don't have peapods."
"Peapods?" Red flashed at John. "You still remember that?"
"It wasn't that long ago…and it was funny…" John looked at his own menu, having already picked out a simple (gourmet) fish and chips dinner. "I should call you that…"
"What?" Alucard smirked at the absurd comment. "Peapod?"
"No, sweet pea." John looked up with a broad smile. Alucard's eyes were wide. "Cute, right? 'Cuz you're small…and sweet."
"I am not sweet…or small…." The vampire scowled, overcoming his initial shock. "It's sickening."
"Sweet pea."
"Die a painful and agonizing death." Alucard spat back reflexively and frowned with a narrowed glare.
"Painful and agonizing…that's just saying the same thing twice."
"Because I want your death to be doubly painful."
"That's not nice…or healthy."
"Then don't call me…that name…even princess is better…"
"Alright, princess."
Alucard hissed and his hands clenched on the table as he leaned on it, towards John who was snickering. "Do you want me to hit you?"
The boy ignored the threat. "Princess or sweet pea? Which is it?"
"If it's either I'm going to bury you in an unmarked grave."
"So cruel." The boy sighed dramatically.
"Get used to it." Alucard smirked, and then frowned sharply as he looked around the restaurant. "Where's that waitress?"
When the vampire gave his order after John, the girl sneered behind her notepad. "Red?"
The dead being blinked in relative surprise and gave a small smile. "I didn't know it was red." The girl was about to apologize when a chuckle interrupted her. "That's what one calls a…bonus? Red is always welcome on my plate."
Now the waitress lost some of the healthy pallor on her face and turned away from the girl to stare with wide eyes at John who seemed a little embarrassed. When the girl had left, John frowned at his date. "Seriously…what's up with the red thing? I've never seen you eat…at breakfast..lunch…or dinner in the cafeteria…so I…"
"You have breakfast and dinner in there as well?" Alucard remembered his fledgling and the evenings where his room was filled with girls.
"Not many people eat breakfast or dinner there…they have mini fridges where they keep milk for cereal in the morning and they go out for dinner since the cafeteria food…isn't that great…but it's cheap…so I eat there."
"You have financial problems? And you go to that school?"
"No. It's just that my spending money is limited now…since that privilege was abused in the past." John picked up his glass and he swirled the water and melting ice cubes. Alucard recalled the past behavior the boy had confessed to so he didn't comment or question and instead watched the ice cubes. His eyes found the can of vegetable juice and a pale hand picked it up.
100% VEGETABLE JUICE
Ingredients: Reconstituted vegetable juice blend (water and concentrated juices of tomatoes, carrots, celery, beets, parsley, lettuce, watercress, spinach), Salt, Vitamin C (ascorbic acid), Natural flavoring, Citric acid
The vampire stared at the can for a few seconds and then frowned, unable to make sense of the list. "Reconstituted vegetable juice blend?" John looked up and caught the odd expression on the demon's face. "Natural flavoring?" Alucard put the can down and pushed it to the middle of the table. "This is supposed to be healthy? What happened to using fresh ingredients?"
"The front says 'from concentrate with added ingredients'." John was also looking at the can now, though he didn't hold as much interest in it. Alucard reached out and turned the metal cylinder so that the front was facing him and he read the same line.
"I don't even know where this stuff came from…and I just drank it?" Alucard shook his head in mild disbelief.
"It came from a farm." John stated bluntly. The teen had his fist buried in his cheek, his elbow on the table. "From the ground or from a bush… There aren't many possibilities."
"But what happened to the vegetables after that? Do they extract the juices? Or do they blend the entire vegetable? And then what kind of state were the vegetables in? Were they perfect and ripe? I doubt it." The vampire made an expression of disgust. "They probably used cheep leftovers that the food stores would not accept or could no longer sell."
John blinked at the argument, a little put off by how random and meaningless it was. "Don't they have regulators checking the ingredients? They have to be approved first."
Alucard gave an unpleasant smirk and he glared at the illustration on the front of the can. "I've seen people survive off of things that would make one sick by just looking at it…so I question the quality of vegetables that are soon reduced to dehydrated vegetable juice….no one can tell if it's just scraps after it's made into the V8 juice..." The vampire sighed and looked out into the middle of the restaurant absently. "This is a stupid conversation."
The boy paused before laughing at the girl who looked at him dully. "At least it's a conversation. I've been with girls who seem to be walking zombies, unable to think or answer anything with the least amount of intelligence that would suggest that they even had a brain."
Chuckling at the irony in the statement, the undead being smirked to himself and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, almost mirroring the paladin who was spying on them in the corner. "Like ghouls?"
"A ghoul's a ghost, right?" the boy was lost, not understanding why his date seemed to pick out the strangest details from what he said. And I was complimenting her…he bit his lip.
"No. Ghouls are like zombies. Mindless slaves that eat human flesh with an insatiable hunger." John had gone a few shades lighter, staring strangely at the girl. It was quiet for a moment while the paladin scowled something about stealing the boy's innocence, in the background.
"You're emo, aren't you?" Alucard's face went blank while the priest had the same expression. John scrutinized the girl's face and then tilted his head thoughtfully. "You're totally a goth chick in disguise, obsessed with blood, and the night, and vampires and stuff…" The boy realized his tone and he sat up, shaking his head nervously. "But that's okay, you know? People like to have their individuality or whatever…uniqueness is a good thing, mostly." Alucard was still staring at him, but John was looking at his lap now. "But you don't do those sketchy, Satanic rituals where you kill cats and animals…you're not into the black magic mumbo gumbo… are you? Because I have to admit, I'm a little weirded out when people start chanting with smoke and candles….and try to marry the Devil…"
Alucard was still unresponsive when the teen ventured a glance at his date, his face full of worry. At this, the vampire gave in to a fit of laughter that disturbed a few tables, causing many narrowed eyes to glare at the couple.
"Who in their right mind marries Satan? If you want to go to Hell just become a serial killer, or a pedophile like the Judas Priest."
Anderson ruffled at this statement and he had to take a choking gulp of his tea in order to control his temper and force himself not to impale half a dozen bayonets through the wretched creature.
Alucard had quieted down and he grinned disagreeably at the teen. "I don't kill animals, so rest easy knowing that." He chuckled again and John gave a confused smile, unsure whether he should be comforted by the suggestive tone or not.
"But are you a goth chick?"
The vampire's eye twitched. "No, I'm not. I tend to wear a lot of red, white, and black. I like the moon and the night, but I'm not what you generally consider a goth to be. I'm Catholic, not Satanic. I'm not a witch. I like candles, but not so much the smoke… But, you shouldn't stereotype and limit people who are interested in these things to being death-loving, anti-social adolescents. Wearing black and liking the color black doesn't mean anything other than the fact that the clothes you are wearing are a specific color because you like that specific color. If someone likes pink and they wear only pink, other than making others want to hurl, there's no harm in it."
It was John's turn to stare blankly at the person sitting across from him, and he chewed on the side of his mouth in thought. "Pink makes you want to hurl?"
"If worn excessively…a little." The demon's eyes flicked to the waitress who was approaching the table with their food. "Do you suppose they have to pay for the expresses if they trip and break the dishes and ruin the food, or do they just get fired?"
"Both…at least that's how it was for me." Alucard glanced at the teen as his dinner was positioned on the table, the napkin and utensils already having been pushed to the side. Next, the minestrone soup was lowered onto a placemat and the waitress retreated without a word.
Alucard watched the steam rise up off of the soup while John and Anderson watched under the weight of the growing suspense. The vampire's lips parted after a moment of thoughtfulness.
"They do look like shells."
John snorted and then laughed to himself while Anderson just stared for a bit and went back to drinking tea.
Alucard had fished one of the noodles out with his spoon and he looked it over, noticing the subtle details carved into the noodle to give it texture. "That's pretty interesting…makes you wonder how they do it…"
John smiled, his mouth full of fish at the moment. He swallowed and reached for the ketchup that was keeping the V8 company at the center of the table. "Can't you take it for granted that people made this for you to eat, and then put the food in your mouth and eat it?"
The vampire didn't look away from the noodle as he lowered it to the side of his dish. "I don't take anything for granted…and doing that just makes things boring. You have to have some curiosity or else you'll fall dead from boredom."
John laughed again and ate a French-fry, offering one to the nosferatu who glared at it hatefully before declining. He watched the boy eat another and he scowled.
"Might as well replace your heart with a potato…those things will make the organ just as useless."
John coughed and hit his chest to keep himself from choking, while wide eyes found Alucard's face. An awkward smile postponed his response. "You know…you're really cute sometimes."
The vampire gaped at the boy before he could stop himself and stammered an unintelligible, "What?"
Anderson had spat out a spray of tea and was now shakily cleaning the mess with his napkin.
The boy grinned smugly to himself as he selected a French-fry and held it up. "You say the weirdest things…" he chuckled. "…like these will turn my heart into a potato? Who even thinks that way?"
The demon was frowning and he growled slightly. "I was saying it will kill you. Dead. Done. Deceased." Alucard scowled at the smiling face. "Just shove them into your arteries and be done with it."
John laughed at Alucard and then stuck the fry into his mouth and chewed it gratefully. "I'd rather shove them in my mouth. They taste better that way."
The vampire just grumbled as the youth continued eating the fried potatoes to spite him, and eventually red eyes found the soup again, noting the abandoned noodle on the side. The spoon was reclaimed and then lowered to the contents of the bowl.
"You enjoyed the soup?" John was smiling at Alucard, but his joy increased when the vampire nodded and then stood.
"I'll be back in a second." The vampire walked off towards the heart of the restaurant.
"I'll just pay the bill and call a taxi. Meet you outside?"
A raised thumb over the shoulder was the only response the boy got before Alucard turned a corner and disappeared behind a hedge of plastic plants. The boy gazed after Alucard for a moment, then took the pen and looked at the receipt. "At least she acts a little like a girl. They can't go forty minutes without checking themselves out in a mirror…though I don't blame them…" he smirked at the joke and set a credit card beneath the receipt and handed it to the waitress when she circled back to him from her other tables. She returned a while later and he signed the new receipt and searched through his wallet to leave the girl a tip on the table.
Meanwhile, Anderson had seen the vampire leave, knowing well the fact that vampires don't need to use the bathroom, and that Alucard wasn't leaving to brush his hair or fix his makeup…. The thought made the priest sick and he had to shake the image out of his head. The demon wasn't wearing makeup…he tried to reassure himself, but shuddered instead and stood to follow the beast. He quickly rounded the divider, brushing past the fake leaves without noticing them as he saw that Alucard was about to disappear behind a door.
Alucard tried to shut the door, but it was suddenly held firm by a familiar hand. The vampire hissed at the priest and attempted to close the door without breaking it, but a foot accompanied the hand, making the task futile. "What are you doing, Priest? Leave."
"What are you doing, Demon?" Anderson checked over his shoulder to make sure no one had noticed them.
The vampire growled at the priest and was forced to let go of the door when he saw it bend unnaturally, threatening to snap. "Fine!" He turned away while Anderson quickly stepped into the unisex bathroom, closing and locking the door.
"Now tell me what you're up to, De…" he turned as he spoke, his eyes landing on Alucard just in time to see the vampire hurl out the contents of his stomach. Anderson jolted and backed into the door while Alucard mumbled something before throwing up again and repeating himself.
"Now leave, Judas Priest, before I coat your shoes with vomit."
Aghast, the Iscariot couldn't think as he watched the creature spit up more blood and, probably, minestrone soup. He closed his mouth when he realized it was open, and furrowed his brow. "Then why did you eat it?"
"Shut up and leave. My threat wasn't a bluff. I will ruin your shoes without hesitation." The vampire wasn't looking at the priest now.
Anderson was quiet and he watched a shudder run through the demon. He looked away, to the single sink and mirror, when Alucard was sick again. "Why did you come here with the boy?"
Alucard cursed for a moment and then registered that Anderson had asked him a question. "I'm going to eat him because all of the stories say I love eating teenage boys, Priest." The man dismissed the sarcastic tone, but glared at the vampire until it laughed with grim humor. "I didn't feel like coming across a pile of gore when I went on patrol at night."
"What do you mean?" Anderson didn't appreciate the response, and it showed in a deep growl that affected his voice.
"He has jumped off the roof once to kill himself and once because he's a moron who thought I would show up if he did."
Anderson lost all emotion and simply stared as the vampire stood up and cleaned any blood he had left on the floor with a wet paper towel. The vampire finished and was at the sink, washing his hands, when Anderson chose to speak again. "So he's…"
"A normal kid." Alucard cut in without looking at the priest, turning off the sink to grab a paper towel to dry his hands. "He just has a thing for rooftops." Anderson didn't comment and Alucard stepped towards the wall and began to faze through it with a half-hearted explanation for the unusual exit. "…So no one thinks that a dirty old man like you was doing something inappropriate with a young girl in the bathroom." Then he was gone.
Anderson was stunned for a few seconds, but he soon turned red with fury and cursed the demon to the pits of Hades. He opened the door and slammed it behind himself, cracking it in half and scaring a waitress who lost her balance and dropped her tray on the floor. After apologizing and helping the shaken girl pick up the mess, he left the restaurant to find that the demon had taken the boy and left him behind.