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Midnight conversations
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My bed once belonged to someone called Kira and she has carved Kira loves Azo all over bedhead and the side of the bed side table. She's draw a lot of hearts about the place like some silly lovesick girl. I have been wondering what happened to her and Azo. Did they ever get a chance to be together?
I couldn't sleep. It's not long after the full moon. I am always more awake at night around the full moon. My brain was buzzing with thoughts. I couldn't get it to shut up. I'd be lying there and telling my mind to just be quiet, but it wouldn't settle down. I was thinking about Kira and fireflakes and forgiveness and friendship and what I wanted to have for breakfast tomorrow and so many other things.
This house is so creaky.
If we were going to be staying long term, I wouldn't mind having a go at fixing it up. But I know we won't be staying for long. The boys were tossing round ideas of where we should go next after dinner but couldn't come up with a solution. Toph was asleep just in the bed next to me. I didn't want to wake her with my tossing and turning. Suki's bed across the room was empty again. So I got up and went for a wander about the house. It's a bit spooky, wandering about this house on my own a night. When I got to the living room I found Zuko sprawled on the couch. He'd been sexiled again.
He's a bit too tall for the couch and he couldn't seem to get comfy. He was tossing and turning and his limbs were hanging off at odd angles. His back was to me but I figured he must have been awake, because no one should toss and turn that much in their sleep. I called out his named softly, just to see if he was awake. He gave a shout of fright and fell of the couch.
Good. He was awake then.
I had walked so silently that he'd had no idea that I was there. He was a bit cross at being snuck up on. But I told him that I wasn't sneaking, I just couldn't sleep. Anyway he was the one who taught me how to walk so quietly. He said yeah, that was me, in a very resigned fashion and gave me and odd look and said I have a feeling you're going to make me regret teaching you that. But he said it with a smile. He said he was having trouble drifting off as well and suggested we have a cup of chamomile tea. His Uncle told him that was meant to help people sleep and for Zuko, everything his Uncle said must be absolutely true. He sighed and got up and made a groaning stretching noise.
There was a bit of quiet fussing in the kitchen because we didn't want to wake the others. Zuko made a chamomile tea for me and a jasmine tea for himself. I asked him why he didn't have a chamomile as well if he was having trouble sleeping but he said all the tea in the world would not make the lumpiest couch he had ever come across more comfortable. I said that Sokka was being a berk for sexiling him two nights in a row and Zuko said that he'd put up with actual exile for years and by comparison sexiled for two nights was a breeze.
We sat on the front veranda with our tea cups in hand. There was a nice view of the beach from here. It would make a good moping spot really. I told him about Kira and Azo and how I couldn't stop thinking about them. He said that often couples in the firenation army were allowed to be part of the same division but not the same unit, so at least they would have been near each other. He said that the firenation had many women in its army but they normally didn't serve as foot soldiers and were often trained different fighting styles and espionage etc, so they rarely fought on the front lines. For all we knew, Kira had lived and just settled down somewhere else. That made me feel a little better about sleeping in her bed.
He spoke about women fighting in the army like it was just normal. I thought about the water tribes and how the northern water tribe didn't think women were worthy of learning how to fight and how hard I'd had to struggle to get master Pakku to respect me. I told Zuko how I'd had to fight Master Pakku just to be taught. I'd won him over in the end but it had been a hard fight and in the end only my grandmother's betrothal necklace had convinced him otherwise. I wonder if he would have taught me if I hadn't been related to Gran Gran.
Zuko thought it was a bit weird to just not train women at all, especially in the northern water tribe because they have a much smaller population. Zuko is firmly of the belief that everybody should learn at least basic self defense because terrible things happen all the time, wherever you are. He said that if people want to learn how to fight they should be taught and started going on about how women were more equal in the fire nation. I pointed out that wasn't entirely true because he'd just said that women didn't often serve on the front lines. Ha!
He said that was more of a brute strength thing than a gender thing. To be a foot solider you had to be built like a tank to carry around those heavy spears etc all the time. But it was true that more women normally had home army duties, training new recruits, being part of the local law enforcement etc. He said that most of the army got trained by highly competent women and his favourite firebending teacher aside from his Uncle had been a woman called Za Jei. She'd been the one to make him keep training unless he'd been knock unconscious, not the one who just threw fireballs at him all day.
It was just so different to the water tribes, especially the northern water tribe. It was all healing and cooking and arranged marriages for girls. I told him of Yue, who had no say in who she got advantageously matched with and Yugoda who was one of the smartest women I've ever met and who would never be anything other than a healer. Zuko said being a healer was great and that if it wasn't for my healing capabilities he'd have at least a fractured wrist and three broken ribs at the moment. He said that they had arranged marriages in the fire nation for the nobility. His parents had an arranged marriage, but they hadn't seemed happy. So maybe there wasn't much difference after all. I thought the fact that women were able to lead and fight and teach fighting was a pretty big difference.
Zuko said he didn't know if it was any better in the firenation, because he thought the only reason why women were treated more equally was because of the war and the constant need for soldiers to keep fighting it. Everybody in the fire nation got involved in fighting in the war somehow and as a result everybody had lost someone in their family to the various campaigns over the years. I asked him who he'd lost, and for a second I thought he wasn't going to answer me. It was rather a personal question, I guess.
He looked into his cup a little sadly and swilled it around. Then he told me that his cousin, Lu Ten, had died in the siege of Ba Sing Se when he'd been eleven. He said he thought his Uncle had never really gotten over it. I said I was sorry for his loss, because that's what you're supposed to say right? It just sounds so shallow though. Zuko looked quite sad about it but he said it was okay. He didn't get to see much of Lu Ten as a kid and only really saw him when the family all went on holidays together to Ember Island. It was Lu Ten who had taught Zuko and Azula how to swim.
When Zuko was talking about learning how to swim his eyes widened like he had an idea. He then said I have an idea really excitedly. I made a dubious face. I had a feeling it was going to be a stupid idea but I heard him out. He thought we could go to Ember Island and hide out at the royal residence there, because it was literally the last place on the planet anyone would think to look for us.
See what I mean.
Stupid idea.
Hiding from the firelord at his own summer house? I mean really now. Zuko said that nobody ever went there anymore and it was on a secluded side of Ember Island so it would be easy to hide Appa and there'd be enough rooms for everybody to have their own room so he wouldn't have to be sexiled every night. I said that as tempting as the chance at having my own room was, he still hadn't convinced me. Ember Island sounded a bit too risky to me and the house would be full of creepy Ozai vibes. Zuko replied that his father often hadn't come on the family holidays so there shouldn't be too many creepy Ozai vibes. He made a weird face when he said creepy Ozai vibes. Zuko had him as a dad so he probably couldn't sense Ozai vibes, creepy or otherwise. They'd just be regular vibes to him.
I started going on about how if he was so worried about being sexiled, why didn't he just tell Sokka no and refuse to leave. Zuko said that would be against the bro code. I don't understand the bro code and I told him this. Zuko sighed and said that none of us knew what would happen in the future and that Sokka and Suki should be able to enjoy their time together while they could. He has a point I guess.
Then I said something most ridiculous. I invited Zuko back to my bed. I meant to say bedroom but the room part fell off when I was speaking. Oops. He got the most astonished look on his face. I started doing that babbly talking thing that Zuko does when he's nervous.
By George, it is contagious!
I never babbly-nervous talked before I met Zuko.
I explained that I meant that the girl's room and that he could sleep in Suki's bed, since she obviously wasn't going to be using it at all during our stay and it seemed a bit silly to have him trying to sleep on the lumpy couch when there was a perfectly serviceable bed in our room. Zuko said something about it not being proper and asked if me and Toph would mind. I said proper schmoper (yes, I said that. What is wrong with me?) and I was inviting him, so obviously I didn't mind and Toph wouldn't mind either. He acquiesced in the face of my proper-schmoper argument and came back with me after we finished our tea.
Zuko is a very deep sleeper and feel asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
I was still awake and I've gotten up again to make another tea and write this entry. I'm starting to feel tired again now.
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Very long and rambly notes follow:
Lovely readers! You have reached the end of midnight conversations. Congratulations! I hope you enjoyed it. In this chapter I just wanted to touch on the different gender dynamics in the firenation and the watertribes and Zuko and Katara's view points. Also, I just wanted to say that I have just seen made in Dagenham and it was fabulous! So if you have a few spare hours and want to see a delightful British movie, give it a go. But all the gender equality in that movie got me thinking about how that would apply to the Avatar world.
If you want to read my rant on gender in ATLA here it is. Otherwise feel free to skip it!
*START RANT*
Water tribes: Katara's been struggling against gender-roles and trying to gain recognition for herself as an equal to the male fighters around her throughout the series. It was her major arc in season 1, to go from that untrained watertribe girl to a water bending master. I think Katara would feel very strongly about women being treated equally because that is something she has really had to fight for.
The water tribes seem the most patriarchal of the four nations. The southern water tribe is apparently a lot less so, but I still get the feeling that there was some ingrained sexism there as well. In the first episode, Sokka is in charge of the southern water tribe by virtue of being the oldest and a boy. And I say this with much love for Sokka as a character, but he's a bit sexist at the start. He does get better quite quickly upon exposure to other tough strong ladies like Suki, which leads me to believe that, in himself, Sokka wasn't that sexist but, he was just reflecting his culture and environment.
The northern tribe: oh baby what was going on here! Arranged marriages seemed like they were common place and not just for the nobility (Pakku and Kanna weren't part of the northern water tribe chief's family were they?) And if a woman wanted out of her arranged marriage, running away was the only option.
Master Pakku refused to teach Aang because he had imparted some of what he learned to Katara. When you actually think about that, it is quite scary. Aang was seen as the one great hope for the future, the one chance to defeat the firelord and Master Pakku was unwilling to train him all over a petty sexist principle that women were not equal and not worthy of learning to fight. Katara does have to fight him and stand up for herself and she does this admirably. But it is only her grandmother's necklace that changes his mind. I was left with the distinct impression that if she hadn't been related to Gran Gran he would not have taught her. I don't want to Pakku bash, because I thought he was an interesting and nuanced character. While eventually he comes to respect and admire Katara, it was such an incredible struggle for both of them.
I have a feeling Katara (being a female master waterbender) is still the exception and not the norm for the water tribes, now that all the other southern water benders, aside from Hama, are gone at least. Things don't change over night and getting gender equality takes time. So to me, it seems naturaly that when Zuko talks offhandedly about women in the army, she'd be a little curious.
Firenation is a different kettle of fish entirely. I have gathered from my studies that most of the big surges in women's rights came during wars (granted the suffragettes pre-date WWI). To me, it seems that whenever a country is plunged into war, women experience a rise in rights and responsibilities and gain more employment, freedom and movement. Australia during both WWI and WWII employed many women as auxiliary support staff and I think the same thing occurred in Britain/Canada/USA. The fire nation has been at war for 100 years continuously and I think the integration of women into the army/navy/various other roles would have happen fairly naturally. While according to Avatar wiki, more women opt to take home guard/ training positions so they can stay in the firenation, it appears that the women in the fire nation experience much more equality. After 100 years of working alongside men, I feel that, at least among the lower classes, there is a great deal of gender equality in the firenation.
A few caveats: I think there is still a glass ceiling for women in the fire nation, there's no old lady generals are there? And I think for aristocratic women there would still be a little bit of gender inequality. It seems like arranged marriages exist for the aristocracy (and it's never the woman who gets to choose in an arranged marriage) and I think it cannot be overlooked that the only reason for all this gender equality in the fire nation is a war that the country has been waging for 100 years.
Zuko has been raised in an environment where it was normal and occasionally mandatory for women to learn how to fight and the attitudes of the water tribes would be a bit baffling for him. But he's trying to emulate his Uncle and learn from other cultures and put on his non-judgmental pants (bless him). He points out the similarities between the two cultures, but mostly he listens to what she says and responds as best he can.
Naturally YMMV on all of this lovely readers!
*END RANT*
Huge thank you to all my fantastic reviewers! You guys make me smile! Thanks for coming along on a second fic with me! And just a giant thanks so much to everyone who took the time to review and I just want you to know that every review brightens my day !
For the last chapter the lovely Donnacrunch *waves at Donna* mentioned Suki's lack of characterization in the series aside from Sokka's girlfriend/badass. I hope to remedy this in coming chapters and give her a more rounded personality. Donna also mentioned the foolishness of their fooling around (possibilities of getting pregnant etc) which I confess I had not thought much on. But it gave me an exceptionally foolish plot bunny that has now run off into ridiculous land, but that is still a few chapters way!
Next chapter: there will be a few arguments (but not between Katara and Zuko) the Gaang will move to Ember Island and Katara will once again use her healing as an excuse to get handsy with Zuko (for healing purposes of course)