Middas 3 Hearthfire 204 4E 4:30 PM
"Good hunting today," I told Deesei as we returned to Sanctuary with fresh elk meat. It felt good to be out in the beautiful autumn day. The sun was pleasant on my skin. I had been spending too much time inside any more. I missed feeling the road under my feet and the wind in my hair.
I should take a contract and get away for a little while, but I didn't feel the thrill of the chase any more. It had been little more than a month since my failed recruitment in Windhelm and I still felt hurt by Cicero's decision to kill the Butcher. It wasn't that I felt regret at the man's death, but I wasn't sure I could trust the jester any more. I had never seen Cicero act out of turn like that before.
"You hunt well for a land-strider," Deesei said. Her dappled emerald skin was the same color of leaves fluttering in the summer wind. Her toothy grin reminded me of Veezara so sharply my heart hurt.
"Have I ever thanked you for training me in hand-to-hand?" I asked, looking away.
"Probably from time to time, but I wouldn't complain if you did again," Deesei chuckled.
"Well, thank you again," I smiled. I patted Shadowmere who had our kill strapped to her back. Deesei and I were walking beside the demon horse. "It's nice to know I might get into a fight and not be the one on the floor gasping for breath."
"You underestimate yourself," the Argonian said shaking her head. "You did fine against Meena in your duel. Didn't even take one blow."
"I was ready for Meena," I said. "I can handle any situation where I'm expecting an attack, but I am always in trouble when I get waylaid."
Deesei barked a laugh, throwing her head back. "That's true for any fighter, Listener! It's how you react and keep your head after being stunned that matters. From what I've seen, you do well enough." The tracker's laughter was infectious and I joined her.
Once we were at the Black Door, Deesei helped me pull our kill off Shadowmere's back. I stroked the mare's muzzle eliciting a pleased neigh from her. "Go and rest, my friend." Shadowmere shimmered into dark mist to go wherever she waits until I need her again.
The Black Door swung open. The smile on my face fell away as I could hear muffled screaming from below. "By Mara, what is going on?" I asked as I ran down the stairs leaving Deesei and our kill behind.
I bolted past the Night Mother's coffin, through the main room to the corridor that led to my bedroom. The door was barricaded with a heavy dresser and Vedave Sendal and Anaril Telind were standing before the door with magicka encasing their hands. The door shuddered from the other side and I could clearly hear Cicero's mad screams of agony from the other side.
"By the Eight, what in the Void is going on here?" I asked. Vedave had the good grace to look embarrassed as he lowered his hands, but Anaril looked annoyed.
"I told you we should have dosed the fool with a sleeping draught before she returned," the high elf muttered.
"They are only following my orders," Nazir said as he stalked into the room. His hand was resting on his curved sword. The Redguard's shoulders were tense. Nazir gestured for me to follow him as he turned. "There was an incident while you were gone, Listener. I want you to see something before you deal with Cicero."
"LET CICERO OUT! CICERO DID NOTHING WRONG! LET CICERO OOOOOOOOOOUT!" More crashes could be heard from the other side of the door. Then there was silence and sobbing could be heard.
"Cicero," I said as I turned towards the door. Nazir placed a hand on my arm.
"Please, Listener, it is very important you hear what we have to say before you see the Keeper," Nazir said. I nodded and followed, however reluctantly. Nazir had never misled me before and as our Speaker, I trusted him.
Nazir and I walked to the Initiate's room. I hadn't been here since Aventus had left for the Bard's college two weeks ago. His bed looked so empty with all his personal items gone. My attention didn't stay on the empty space for long when I noticed Eiruki sitting on her bed.
The Nord was smiling quietly as Babette dabbed her face. An ice pack was pressed against her face covering a black eye. A bandage was wrapped over her brown hair to cover a long gash on the back of her skull. The beginning of bruises were purpling her throat.
"Will someone for the love of Mara tell me what is going on?" I asked. Things were going too fast for me to absorb it all.
"Chickpea attacked Eiruki," Garnag said as he entered the room. The orc grabbed two chairs and offered me one. I gratefully sank into it. "He found the girl touching the Night Mother's coffin with a pile of wild flowers placed before it. He flew into a rage and started beating her. He screamed about the First Tenet and disrespecting the Night Mother the whole time."
"We pulled him off her, somehow," Nazir chimed in. "I had Cicero banished to your room. The door to his room opens inwards and we needed to barricade him in."
"Nazir, Garnag, you both know Cicero cannot deal with being alone," I said horrified.
"The Keeper didn't leave us much choice," Nazir shrugged. "Cicero can't be attacking other family members. I thought you were going to talk to him about it after the last time he screamed at Eiruki."
"I did," I placed my face in my palm. "The First Tenet is the one thing he ignores me about." The First Tenet, do not disrespect the Night Mother or incur the wrath of Sithis. It was the most open to interpretation of the Tenets and the one Cicero revered the most. "He's been getting so much worse lately and I don't know why."
"I think I am partly to blame," Garnag said sighing. "Chickpea is terrified that you'll discover why the two of us were punished by the Night Mother. He frequently asks me if I've said anything to you."
"He's done the same with me," I admitted. "I suppose you're going to tell me now?"
Garnag shook his head slowly. "No, I promised and I won't break that vow." He leaned back in his chair. "However, it does not mean I didn't happen to mention to a certain Khajiit that Cicero keeps journals for personal prosperity."
"You did not encourage Meena to look through Cicero's things!" I yelled jumping to my feet. The cat's yowl of anger told me that he had done just that and Meena had found what Garnag had sent her to find. "Gods dammit!"
The Tenets were falling apart throughout the Brotherhood today.
I ran out of the Initiate's room to try to intercept Meena. I saw the calico running past with a book in hand. "I'll rend him apart!" she vowed. "Lying hypocrite!"
"Meena, stop, now!" I commanded. The Khajiit halted, albeit reluctantly. Ever since our duel, she had been the model of obedience. I only hoped it was true conversion and not the cat planning until she could try again. "What did you find?" No sense dancing around the bush.
"The Keeper," Meena slurred the title into a curse, "is not the perfect model of the Tenets as he would have us believe." She flexed her claws, extending and withdrawing the talons with murderous intent. "Do you know what he did? He…"
"Stop!" I held a hand up. "You do not going through your siblings things without permission, Meena. I'll forgive you this time since Garnag, your superior, put you up to it. In the future, you will incur Sithis's wrath for violating a Tenet."
"But!" Meena protested.
"But, nothing," I said. I clenched my fists angrily. "One brother's misbehavior does not justify it for the rest of us. We all know Cicero is Void-touched. It's what he is. But his loyalty is also why we're here today at all. Now, put the journal back where you found it and clean up any mess you made."
Meena's tail lashed angrily. "You're just going to forgive him as you always do?" she growled.
"No," I sighed, "I will find out from Cicero himself. He should tell me personally instead of me finding out secondhand."
Middas 3 Hearthfire 204 4E 5:00 PM
The heavy wooden door slid closed behind me as I entered my bedroom. I could hear the dresser sliding back into place. The others were not going to take a chance of Cicero overpowering me and going on a murder spree throughout the Sanctuary. I wished that I felt the sentiment was unnecessary, but considering the day's events I felt giving them the feeling of security was only fair.
I quickly surveyed the room and flinched at the destruction. Every piece of furniture was pushed over and most of them were nowhere near their normal spots. By the angle and force of destruction, Cicero must have been using his telekinesis spell to hurl them across the room.
My large bed was in the worst condition. It was slumped against a wall completely shattered. The mattress and furs had fallen to form a makeshift tent of sorts. I could hear Cicero whimpering from within the confines of the sleeping furs.
"Cicero, I'm coming in," I said to give the jester fair warning. I didn't want him attacking me. I slowly crawled toward him on all fours.
"Listener, is that you?" The misery in Cicero's voice made me want to cry. "Are you real? Is Cicero's mind playing tricks on him again?"
'It is me, my dear Keeper," I said. I curled up next to him and took one gloved hand. I placed it against my face. "I am real, you can feel me."
Cicero sighed sadly as he pressed his forehead against mine. I could feel the streaks of his tears still on his cheeks. I pulled his hand away long enough to drag the velvet glove off before placing his hand back on my face so he could feel me more easily. I blew gently against his ear. For reasons I didn't understand that always seemed to comfort him. Cicero relaxed against my shoulder.
"They locked Cicero away. Cicero did nothing wrong and they made poor, lonely Cicero be alone. Why, why, why, why?"
"You hit Eiruki," I said gently.
"Stupid girl was touching Mother again!" Cicero hissed. He tried to draw away, but I held the back of his neck to keep him close to me. His flesh was hot and sweaty.
"You cannot be hitting the Initiates," I said.
"The Tenets say nothing against it," Cicero said smugly.
"I say it is not allowed," I said. I pulled Cicero closer until he was practically sitting in my lap.
"Cruel Listener always telling Cicero no," Cicero moaned. His face was buried in my hair. "Hateful Listener always trying to keep Cicero from his duty."
"You don't believe that, dear heart," I pushed Cicero's face up so he was facing me. I slowly peppered his overheated face with light kisses like the ones he used to give to me. "Things are different now. You're not alone with Mother any more. You have to change because everything has changed."
"Say that you love me," he begged, his lips trembling against my chin.
"I can't," I said as I stroked his fine hair. "The only Binding Words I can ever say to you, I've already said. Would it help if I said them again?" He buried his face back into my hair and shook his head. "Tell me what burdens you. What did you do that deserved punishment?"
"You'll hate me," he cried. "If you won't love me, then you'll hate me."
"I'll never hate you," I promised. "I never have and never will. Tell me." I didn't put enough authority into my voice to make it a command. I wanted Cicero to tell me on his own, not because I forced him.
Cicero curled so that his head was on my lap. He folded his arms under his head and trembled. I petted his hair around his cap waiting for him to speak when he was ready. "Cicero had Garnag kill Rasha," he said finally.
"The Speaker for Cheydinhal?" I asked. Cicero nodded. He curled his body as if preparing for me to strike him dead. I was reminded of when I spared the Fool's life two years ago. "Why?"
Cicero looked at me like he couldn't believe I asked the question. Assassins didn't ask why. They did what they were told, quickly and efficiently. "Why?" he repeated.
"Yes, why? Why did you do it? You always do everything for a reason, even if you won't tell me what that reason is most of the time. Why did you order for Garnag to kill Rasha?"
Cicero, his confidence returning, sat up until he was eye level with me. He placed his hands against the wall, one hand on each side of my head. "Rasha claimed to be the Listener! Lied! Cicero was so happy, but then the cat could not produce the Binding Words. Loyal Cicero could not let that stand! So I dipped honey sweet words into Garnag's ear and he did the deed gladly.
"But the kill wasn't sanctioned! Neither Cicero nor Garnag were Silencers. Neither had been commanded to end the traitor's life. Mother couldn't command us and there was no one else who could. Our action both pleased and angered Mother. It is the only thing poor, loyal Cicero can think of."
"Mother has forgiven you," I reminded him.
"But you haven't," Cicero said softly.
"There is nothing for me to forgive," I said. I pulled the jester closer until I could kiss him. I smiled against Cicero's lips. "However, if it makes you feel better, I could make the condition that from now on you must follow every single one of my commands to the letter and without question."
"Other than tending Mother, it is the only thing Cicero has wanted," Cicero chuckled.
"No more hitting the Initiates," I said trailing a finger along Cicero's jaw. "If anyone has violated a Tenet, you report to me and I will mete out punishment as necessary. Understood?"
"Cicero lives to serve," the Keeper crooned, his madness abated for now.
"Then tend to me, my Keeper," I said as I slid onto my back and pulled Cicero with me.
Middas 3 Hearthfire 204 4E 9:00 PM
"Cicero scares me," Garnag said. It was the first time the orc had ever addressed Cicero by his real name instead of his old Cheydinhal nickname.
Garnag, Nazir, and I were gathered in the main room discussing what to do next. Cicero was happily curled up asleep on the ruins of my mattress. Tomorrow I would worry about replacing my destroyed furniture, but that was definitely the least of my concerns.
"Now that the matter of your punishment has been addressed, do you think Cicero will get better? At least to the point he was before you arrived?" I asked.
"I don't know. I have no training for such things. But my heart says no," the orc leaned forward with his hands steepled. "I have a suggestion though. There are more of us now than there have been for a long time. I think we should reopen one of the abandoned Sanctuaries. I think the one in Wayrest would make a good choice. It is far to the west where our influence hasn't been felt for longer than other parts of Tamriel."
"You would have me name you Speaker," I said.
"If you wish," Garnag shrugged, "or one of the others. It doesn't matter to me. I simply wish to be one of the ones to go. It hurts me to see Chickpea like this. Maybe not as much as it does for him to see me, but I still remember that quiet, serious brother with his face forever in his journal writing.
"Sometimes I look at the man you call Cicero and I think 'Who is that man? I've never met him before.' Chickpea is a stranger to me now. I think the Cicero I knew died somewhere in the halls of Cheydinhal."
"The Night Mother assigned you as my advisor," I said. "Do you worry you may incur her wrath by running away?"
"The advice you needed you have received. Wayrest is not so far away that I cannot make trips back to visit and update," Garnag said. "I am a relic of a different time, Listener, because no matter how hard you tried, this is not the same Brotherhood that it was twenty years ago."
"Let's be realistic," Nazir said chiming in for the first time. "It is time to expand. The Brotherhood once spread its Hand across all of Tamriel. There are those who pray for revenge in every country. We are needed by more than just Skyrim. We will always be needed."
"I don't deny that opening another Sanctuary is a grand idea," I said. "Very well. Garnag, pick those you wish to take with you. Be sure Eiruki is among them. Leave me at least one spellcaster. Otherwise, the choice is yours."
Morndas 8 Hearthfire 204 4E 8:00 AM
"Cicero is going to miss Garnag!" the jester wrapped his arms tightly around the orc.
"I'll miss you, too, you mad fool," Garnag said affectionately as he gave back a one-armed hug. The other hand held the reins of his black mare.
All of us, even Babette, were standing outside of Dawnstar Sanctuary to say goodbye. This late in the season dawn was late to come. There was only the barest of pink in the sky as the gray night slowly bled way. It was pure chaos as everyone was scurrying around to make sure nothing irreplaceable was left behind.
Other than Garnag and Eiruki, Deesei, Elbent, Geldii and Anaril Telind were leaving to reopen Wayrest Sanctuary. I had barely got to know these new siblings before they had to leave home, but I was honored to have known them.
As Cicero ran down the line to say his farewells, I stepped up to Garnag. "You mean that, don't you?" I asked, smiling. "You really will miss Cicero?"
"I will. He grows on you," Garnag said.
Cicero was swinging Anaril around in a circle while the high elf grimaced. Eiruki giggled and clapped silently as she watched. When Cicero finished, she threw her arms up for the same treatment. The jester happily obliged.
"I suppose he does at that," I said. I turned and grasped Garnag's wrist to shake his hand. "Represent us well, Speaker. Kill well and often, brother."
"Kill well and often, sister," he responded. "You'll know we have succeeded in our mission when the Night Mother gives you the prayers of those we watch over."
Garnag and the rest mounted up. Choruses "Goodbye" and "Kill well and often!" rang among the Family. As the six rode off, Cicero ran beside them.
"Don't go! Cicero doesn't want you to go!" the jester cried. "Stay!" No matter how fast he ran, the horses quickly left Cicero behind. Cicero stumbled to a stop, his expression one of dismay.
"Don't cry, my sweet Keeper," I said as I stood next to him. I wrapped my arms around Cicero and drew him close. I placed a chaste kiss on his ear. "The Black Hand is once again spreading its grasp across Tamriel. Soon everyone will hear our Mother's voice and tremble at her power."
The Keeper's joyful laughter welcomed the dawn.
A/N: Thanks again to Proffesor I. P. Freely for Anaril Telind. Also, huge thanks to everyone who has left comments. They are a joy to read!