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Love and other tragedies.
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I had a huge sleep in this morning. We'd all had a really late night last night, playing music into the wee hours. I may have drunk a little more from the flask than I should have, but it's my birthday! Anyway, I was a little too merry last night to be bothered taking my hair out/washing my face etc. So now my hair is a squashed floral mess that sticks up all over the place, in unlikely peaks and tangles. Boo.
This is the worst bed-hair I have ever had.
I tried but I just can't get any of the flowers out. Especially the ones at the back. I figured that I could find Suki to help me with them and I got up in search of her and her sensible hair de-tangling abilities. I wandered into the kitchen and Zuko was in there, tackling the last of the dishes from last night. He took one look at me, dazed and confused with my hair sticking up at odd angles and nearly burst out laughing. Thankfully he did not, or I would have splashed him with all the dirty water in the sink.
I am a bit grumpy in the morning. In fact I think it would be fair to say that I am not a morning person. I told him to shut it- whatever he was going to say- just ssshhh and he managed to restrain himself. I asked for Suki, but apparently she and Sokka have absconded together, presumably to the hot spring. I bemoaned the state of my hair at length while he finished the dishes. He tried to console me and say it wasn't as bad as I was making out. But he said this in such a sheepish manner, that I was sure that it was worse than I was making out. I complained about the lack of Suki and asked if Zuko would go to the hot springs and get her for me (I was not walking out of the house like this.) Zuko said it wasn't my birthday anymore so he was going to politely decline the Suki fetching mission. Boo. But he did put a cup of something warm and fragrant and soothing in front of me. Yay!
He thought Sokka and Suki would be back soon, but he knew they wanted 'alone time' (ewww) so he thought it would be better to wait. I couldn't wait. I looked ridiculous. The only other people in the house were him and Toph. Aang has buggered off and Zuko couldn't find him anywhere. He'd been looking for ages this morning. I made a joke that he was losing his avatar-finding mojo, which was exceptionally funny to me. Aang would be useless for my predicament anyway. Toph is right out. Hair is not her thing either. I am doomed to look ridiculous for the rest of the day.
-?-
I continued with my small complain about my tragic hair situation while Zuko finished off the dishes. He offered to help me with it diffidently, in a tone that he would normally use for going into battle etc. I considered his offer and accepted it. Then he added the caveat he was absolutely crap at doing hair. This does not surprise me. It also didn't inspire great confidence in his hair fixing services.
Even still, some help was better than no help.
Gah!
Tui and la save me from Zuko's hopeless hair ministrations!
-?-
Zuko wiped his hands dry on the towel and set about the task of getting all the squashed flowers out of my hair with great care. They'd all become so tangled at the back that this was quite tricky. He did his best not to pull my hair and slowly got most of them out. I stayed seated, nursing the cup of tea that Zuko gave me. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really awake until I've had a cup of tea in the morning.
Aah Tea! Work your magic! Wake me up properly.
It was just me and Zuko and sometimes this is really nice. He talks to me more when it is just the two of us. Something very strange has happened and I don't quite know when this occurred or what has prompted this feeling- but I like listening to Zuko. I like his voice, I like knowing what he thinks about things and I like telling him what I think about things.
Weird huh?
Anyway, it was just the two of us and I asked him something that had been on my mind since last night. What had possessed him to tell all the others to wedge the crystals in the ceiling like that. I mean… it was just such a daft idea. Super sweet but daft. He looked a bit worried for a second and asked me if I hadn't liked it after all in a quiet tone of voice.
Now he was just being regular daft.
I told him that I had loved it, but it just seemed like a ridiculous amount of effort. He asked me if I'd had a good birthday and I agreed that I had. I'd had a brilliant birthday actually. It has been the first birthday that I hadn't been plagued with thoughts about my mother. I hadn't felt sad for a second yesterday and on the whole that was a wonderful and surprising thing. Of course, then I felt a little sad when I thought that I hadn't felt sad at all yesterday. But I think I'm starting to move on and that's got to be a good thing, I reckon.
Zuko smiled at me and said that if I'd had a good day then it was worth it. I grinned at him. I kept pestering him about the crystals. I mean I had told him about the cave of two lovers ages ago. He said, shyly, that he really does remember everything I say. Apparently back in the Western Air Temple I had gone on (and on and on) about how the crystals gave me hope and were pretty and shiny etc. Zuko had wanted to give me a little more hope, if he could. Oh. I looked at him… and he looked at me …and we were having another one of those moments. Like the moment we were having yesterday.
A moment where we just stare at each other and I feel possibility and indecision in equal measure.
What is this feeling? This smushing, churning in my guts?
Zuko seemed to shake himself out of it first. He said that the story of Oma and Shu is such a well known tragedy. It is apparently a famous folk tale in the firenation. He never thought it was real. Hearing that the secret tunnel actually existed and that they were real people ...that was pretty memorable for Zuko. I corrected him and said it was a love story not a tragedy. But Zuko disagrees with me about this.
He said the story seemed like a basic revenge tragedy. Her boyfriend dies, so she goes nuts and kills a whole bunch of people and then everyone is too scared of her to fight anymore. I said that it wasn't like that at all and because I had been there in the cave, I should know. It was a romantic story about trusting in the power of love and love overcoming all odds.
Zuko snorted derisively in reaction to this statement, which is a most un-Zuko-like thing to do. He said that love hadn't really overcome all odds. Her boyfriend had died and she may have stopped a war but she didn't get him back. I countered that she got to name the city in memorial of their love and now the story of their love was well known and would live forever. And he said that was all well and good, but they didn't get to live together their lives. I got a bit irate because I felt like he was missing the point and belittling the cave and the crystals and the hope etc. I got a bit ranty about this actually.
He said that he wasn't making fun of the cave or anything; he just didn't find stories about a guy dying in war and his girlfriend going nuts with grief especially romantic. He started ranting back at me about his cousin Lu Ten. When his cousin Lu Ten had died, he had a girlfriend back home in the firenation who went... a little strange. She sort of lost the plot and brought shame upon her family etc. I asked how she did that. He smiled ruefully and said that she had started publicly denouncing the war and had been eventually charged with treason over it. (denouncing the war and speaking out against Ozai are both treasonous crimes in the firenation apparently.)
Oh.
I asked what had happened to her. Zuko looked really sad for a second and said that she'd been offered enforced military service instead of jail time, because she had been a talented firebender. She had died in a colonial dispute not long after.
Wow, I didn't know what to say to that.
Zuko seemed embarrassed that he had shared so much. He had blushed a bright scarlet colour. He rarely ever reveals stuff like this. He started doing that nervous babbling thing and talking about how it was stupid for him to think about that sort of thing now …..and how just because his cousin had died and his girlfriend had gone mad...it shouldn't affect my enjoyment of the Oma and Shu legened.
Zuko always does this when he thinks he's revealed too much. He tries to act like what he says doesn't matter. But really, I liked it when he tells me things, even if they are sad things. I didn't know what else to say, so I just thanked him for telling me. He smiled sadly and pulled out the final flower from my hair. It had gotten a bit stuck above my ear. His hand stayed near my cheek and he stroked it, very softly. It was just for a second. It was almost like he was unaware of what he was doing.
I let him.
It was nice.
Then Sokka burst into the room and proclaimed that he and Suki were starving and he hoped one of us had made lunch. Zuko retracted his hand a lightening speed and I glowered at Sokka – the big interrupter- but he remained happily oblivious as he rummaged through the cupboards. He found some birthday leftovers which he started munching on with gusto and began telling us all about his crazy dream, while he piled a plate high, allegedly for Suki. (Suki will not eat that much and most of it is for Sokka.)
I have given him a poke with the common sense stick (I carry it with me everywhere) and stalked off.
-?-
Zuko is still looking for Aang. I can hear him calling out his name repeatedly. Without the flowers, I have been able to brush my hair. Now it no longer looks like birds nest in it. I am snooping about my room now. There are so many cupboards and drawers and they are all locked. I have tried Toph's two little keys, but she hasn't shown me how to use them yet and I have had no luck.
-?-
Aang is back and in a little bit of a funny mood.
He asked me if I wanted to go into the town with him. I needed to pick up some more supplies and something for dinner tonight so I said yes. Sokka also wanted to go shopping and check out the book store – he has been going on (and on and on) at Zuko about all the volumes that his library lacks and has received several gold pieces to remedy this travesty. Sokka lost his atlas and several of his books regarding metal engineering in the Day of Black Sun. Sokka has great enthusiasm for his book shop mission. Suki and Zuko had a quick conversation about the book shop mission. Anyway the end result of this was Sokka and Suki wanted to come along to the shops with us, Suki was to supervise Sokka in the book store. They will most likely make out in the engineering aisle when they think no one is looking.
Still -the more the merrier I say.
Aang did not seem to agree with me and wasn't his usual cheerful self on the walk into town. I didn't understand what had brought on this grumpiness. We walked around the market together and after we'd gotten the supplies and dinner (Sokka wanted something really meaty –obviously) we walked Sokka and Suki to the book store and agreed to meet them back home. I took Aang off for an ice-cream, just the two of us. Aang and I always used to talk. I hoped that I could shake him out of his funny mood. I had some success because he cheered right up after we got the ice-cream. We wandered around town and just had a friendly chat.
Aang was feeling a little miffed because he feels like we rarely hang out, just the two of us, anymore. I reminded him that it had hardly ever been just the two of us because Sokka was always around and always friggin interrupting and making assumptions and doing all the other stuff he does. Aang smiled in agreement over Sokka's interrupting tendencies.
But then he started going about how we always used to waterbend together and now we rarely do that. Only a couple of night ago, I was thinking the same thing. But now I let of steam with Zuko every night, so I've been waterbending plenty. The thing is, Aang already is quite proficient with waterbending and his time is so limited. I know he needs more practice with earthbending and firebending and I feel like he should concentrate on those more.
But at the same time, he's just a 12 year old kid who wants to have fun. He finds water bending with me fun. So I have agreed that we will go waterbending this afternoon.
-?-
When we got back home, Toph and Zuko were messing about on the tsungi horn again. He was teaching her to play a melody that is called brave solider boy while they waited for Aang. They both had arranged to 'share Aang' this afternoon and teach him for three hours each. But after a speech from Aang about how he needed to improve waterbending as well, and how he found waterbending relaxing etc. they agreed to a three way share. Toph said, fine go splash about until you feel better. I have him for two hours.
We went down to the beach and practiced our octopus forms and then went iceboard surfing together. I love iceboard surfing and if Aang needs more fun, then I can't think of anything better than that liberating feeling I get when I catch a wave. I don't know if I invented this, but I've never seen anyone else do iceboard surfing. I'm the only waterbender I know in the firenation and I reckon you could only iceboard here. The water at the poles would be too cold and all the earth kindom beaches we visited were quite rocky. Here the beaches are just perfect for it. The sand is soft and the waves crest just perfectly for barreling and the water is warm when you fall in. I'm getting better at doing tricks and so is Aang but Aang does way more aerial stunts than me.
We had a competition about who could get the most air and Aang won (like I knew he would.) Now he is back to his chipper self. Aang would never admit it, but he is competitive and loves winning at this sort of thing. I just think he seemed like he really needed a win today.
-?-
We got back and it was Zuko's turn with Aang. I was pottering around the kitchen. I'd gotten stuff for a slow roasted stew and I was going to put it on so it would have all afternoon to cook. Anyway, there I was -just peeling veggies- and I have overheard the most ridiculous conversation between Aang and Zuko. I was just innocently eavesdropping this time. I was just minding my own business and they were just there, outside the window, talking.
Aang wanted to talk about feelings (as Aang is often wont to do) and Zuko was bemoaning the fact that Aang was taking up some of their precious two hours with this 'feelings' talk. Aang said that Zuko had always emphasized how much emotions and having control of them can affect firebending and Zuko reluctantly conceded his point and asked Aang what he wanted to talk about - in a tone of resigned defeat.
Aang wanted to know about love. Zuko made a frustrated noise that I found rather comical. He said what about it? in that same resigned fashion. Aang, very solemnly, wanted to know what made the love you had when you were in a couple special and how could he tell if he loved someone in that way. Zuko was a bit taken aback by Aang's sincerity and said that he probably wasn't the right person to ask. Aang said that he'd been in a relationship with Mai and surely he loved Mai if he'd been in a couple with her. Aang went on to mention Mai at length and how Zuko used to talk about her all the time and now he doesn't. Zuko silenced Aang's flow of words and asked him in a very perplexed tone -what has brought all this -love stuff- on?
Aang replied simply that just want to know what it is like to be in a couple. There was a short silence and a frustrated sigh from Zuko. Zuko asked if Aang wanted to talk about any other feelings. Aang did not. Zuko sighed again. Eventually he said that being in a couple was nice, in a most unconvincing and uncertain fashion. Aang pointed this out. Zuko sighed again and said nothing's perfect Aang.
Aang asked if Zuko loved Mai. I dropped all pretense with the veggies and laid them quietly in the sink and I listened more closely. In fact my ear was pressed right against the wood paneling in order to hear him better.
Did he? I'd have never been able to ask so boldly.
Now, it wasn't just Aang who really wanted Zuko to answer the question. Zuko seemed acutely uncomfortable in this conversation. He actually said, look I'm a bit uncomfortable with the conversation, do you have any other feelings, really any other feelings at all that you want to discuss. Aang did not. Aang was quite insistent that Zuko answer the question and eventually Zuko snapped back that he didn't think he really did.
Love Mai that is.
Yay!
He said that the sort of love Aang was talking about, means loving the other person exactly as they are. He had always wanted Mai to change and be more emotional and talk to him more, but you can't change people. He finished his little rant by saying that Aang really wanted to know about being in a lovey-dovey couple he should go ask Sokka or Suki.
I couldn't see Aang but I could guess that he was making that sad face he does when ever he gets snapped at. This was confirmed by the fact that Zuko quickly started apologizing and saying that he was sorry for being snappy at Aang, but Aang was just asking some really personal questions and he didn't feel like discussing it. Aang replied that the monks had never taught him anything about this sort of love (they'd been more about universal compassionate love for all beings, not about romantic love for one being in particular). He just wanted to understand better. He'd asked Zuko's Uncle about love back in Ba Sing Se and his Uncle had been helpful and he thought Zuko could help too. Zuko sighed loudly and dramatically. The mention of his Uncle's helpfulness and Ba Sing Se seemed to have shamed him into being more forthcoming. He said Bollocks it all. Do you really want to know what I think about love and all that? Aang did. Zuko spoke a bit emphatically - from his frustration with the whole conversation. I have written it down word for word.
It's just that sort of love...it just makes you so vulnerable. You can get really hurt loving someone like that...do you know what I'm saying to you. (Here he paused for a few moments, possibly to look pointedly at Aang). That person could mean everything to you, but they might not love you back…. or they might leave you, or they could die and... I've always been too scared of that Aang, so I'm not the best person to ask about this sort of thing.
There were a few moments of silence and then Aang said that he hadn't thought Zuko was scared of anything. Zuko sniffed and sighed and said now Aang knew and could they please, for the love of all that is under Agni, get back to firebending practice.
Aang agreed and fireballs were thrown ferociously for the next hour.
-?-
I am thinking a lot about their conversation.
-?-
I should stop thinking so much about their conversations
-?-
I came up to my room to have a nap and I have overheard another conversation. An unintentionally hilarious conversation. Aang, it appears, has taken Zuko's advice. After he finished practicing with Toph he went and found Sokka and said that he needed to talk to him. Sokka was deep in the fine art of metalwork but he laid it aside and followed Aang outside. They ended up sitting right under my balcony and their words carried up. Aang asked Sokka about romantic love and how it was different from friendly love. Sokka said the main difference was touching and…then he completely got the wrong end of the stick. It quickly became apparent that he thought Aang was asking about sex. He has now treated Aang to the most awkward explanation of the birds and the bees that I have ever heard.
Wow!
I have overheard the tale of the penguin and the igloo and the fable of the badgermole and the cave and the legend of the flower garden and the big hose needed to water it. (or a small hose- Sokka didn't want to make judgments on hose size).I worry that, as a direct result of this conversation, Aang will now have an unhealthy obsession with flowers.
Ooh Sokka!
When Sokka has children, I vote that Suki explains the facts of life to them.
Then the conversation took a dramatic turn and Sokka started telling Aang about the things boys do when they are on their own and it's okay and it's normal and Uncle Sokka wouldn't judge him. If Aang has been going penguin sledding a lot recently- that is perfectly normal for a kid his age. It's good for a penguin to be -sled-every once in a while. But girls often get grossed out by penguin sledding-so Aang should only sled in private. Aang was exceptionally baffled by this and said that I had gone penguin sledding with him the first time we met and I hadn't been grossed out. I had actually really enjoyed it.
Sokka said you did what with my baby sister? with the most comical and perplexed look on his face. Aang explained that he thought was in a conversation about actually penguin sledding with… ya know actual penguins, not the penguins that Sokka was referring to. He didn't seem to know the other meaning that Sokka was getting at when he was talking about by penguin sledding. There was much confusion! And embarrassment! Sokka excused himself politely and said he was just going to talk to Zuko.
-?-
So I'm having a day of eavesdropping. Whatever. It is hilarious. Sokka found Zuko playing the tsungi horn with Toph. He told Toph that he just needed to speak to Zuko for a sec and dragged him over by the stairs. They were standing right under my door again. How can I not eavesdrop! Zuko and Sokka's conversation went like this:
Sokka: You need to explain penguin sledding to Aang.
Zuko: What's penguin sledding
Sokka: You know (I imagine he gestured here because Zuko instantly clicked about what Sokka meant by penguin sledding)
Zuko: Oh hell no! You tell him!
Sokka: I tried, but I don't think he knew what I was getting at.
Zuko: Um no, I have already had one mortifying conversation with Aang today. There is only so much humiliation I can take in a day.
Sokka: And here I was thinking you would have gotten used to humiliation by now.
They then proceeded to have a noogie off. The loser would have to attempt to have 'the talk' with Aang. It was a noogie-off for dignity, something they are both fond of. Suki came across them, locked in their joint noogie giving struggle. She asked them what they were doing and had the situation explained to her. She muttered boys under her breath and has gone looking for Aang.
-?-
Aang appears somewhat scarred from his conversation with Sokka and hadn't moved from the tree under my window. Suki came over and asked if he wanted to talk about something. Aang shrugged and said that he'd asked Sokka about love and then Sokka had gone on (and on and on) about penguins and now Aang was confused. What did penguins have to do with love?
Suki asked, just for clarification, if Aang had been asking Sokka about love or making love. Aang said he'd just asked what the difference between friendly love and romantic love was. He wasn't quite sure about what Suki meant by making love. Suki sighed and looked away, and when she looked back it was with a look of pure determination. She was going to do this!
'Well Aang when a man and a woman really love each other and they want to celebrate that love and maybe…. when they are much older and ready … they might want to make a baby and…."
Aang cut her off and asked if she was talking about sex and Suki gaped at him in surprise. Aang said quite emphatically that he knew what sex was! Why didn't everybody just call it sex if they were talking about sex. Suki was looking at Aang in open relief. She said 'well- that's good then' in a business-like tone and got up to go. Aang piped up that he didn't see what sex had to do with love and he'd been asking about love. Suki sighed and sat back down. There was no such easy escape from an awkward conversation with Aang.
Suki said that sex was something that couples did together and friends did not. It was something that occurred when a couple wanted to affirm their love. Aang said that air-nomads didn't do sex like that.
Huh?
Is there more than one way?
Suki seemed to be in a similar state of bafflement. She gaped at Aang and asked how else could you do it in a hushed whisper. Aang explained about all the male monks going to the eastern air temple and meeting up with the lady monks and then there would be a festival and they would do sex (he said do sex with a slight shudder)and then nine months later new babies would turn up at the southern air temple. That was doing sex meant to Aang. Aang didn't want to know about sex, he wanted to know about love.
Suki (bless her cotton socks for sticking this conversation out like a trooper) explained that for other cultures, sex normally only happened just between two people who loved each other romantically. That was why the two (sex and love) were all bound up together and sometimes confused with each other. Aang asked if that's all there was to romantic love –just sex and Suki hastily backtracked and said there were many things involved. Aang asked what exactly and Suki sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose and thought for a sec.
She said she thought love would vary from couple to couple and person to person. Aang asked what is was like for her and there was a few moments silence. Suki played with the hem of her skirt and then said that love was a tricky thing to define. She felt that it was such a mix of feelings. For Suki- love was not solace or joy or comfort but a combination of all of those feelings. She patted Aang on the arm and got up to go. She said that she didn't know the feeling was love until she felt it for herself. Aang would know real love when he felt it.
-?-
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Frightening long authors note:
Lovely fabulous readers! You have reached the end of love and other tragedies. Congratulations! I hope you enjoyed it! Once again enormous thank you to my brilliant, beautiful wonderful reviewers! You guys are just the best! In this chapter I wanted to have a bit of a closer look at how certain members of the gang feel about love and sex and the awkwardness that abounds in these conversations.
So at the start of this chapter Katara is having a hair disaster very similar to the hair disaster I had yesterday. long story short- I went to a pirate party (and imbibed a bit too much rum- alas). For my costume I had plaited feathers in my hair and it had looked awesome – but ye be warned dear reader, if you don't take it out and just fall into bed – disaster awaits! Anyway I had already written Katara getting flowers plaited in her hair and I figured that she might also face a similar problem the next day. And it gave me an opportunity to have a nice, tender, hair-assisting moment between Katara and Zuko. Zuko is finishing off doing the dishes because I think the sight of a guy doing the dishes is just oh la la! Also the dishes are his and Katara's thing and he doesn't want her to have to clean up after her own party.
I think there would be a real growing attraction between the two of them that they would be a bit nervous to act on. But it is there and getting stronger. Katara doesn't notice it, but she is unconsciously seeking Zuko out all the time and she does love just chatting with him and she loves exchanging ideas with him. Notice that Zuko points out the fact that he and Mai had poor communication skills as a big problem in their relationship, but he and Katara communicate quiet well.
I think one of several problems for me with Maiko is that they both are clearly hoping the other person will change for them. Zuko wants Mai to talk and express herself and show emotions etc. Whereas Mai who is much more reticent and composed, looks on in askance at all of Zuko's various Zuko tantrums. She doesn't actually say 'get a hold of yourself man!' but I can tell she's thinking it.
Oma and Shu – Am I going out on a limb here? Is this an unpopular opinion? I know their story is meant to be epic and super romantic etc, but I just find it super sad. All those tragic love stories when the guy dies in war and the girl will remember him and love him forever, (sometime she is barefoot and preganant but then she will have his baby and remember him and love him forever). Bah. And fie upon that trope! A life of mourning! Boo! They are depressing. I just think those stories are not really about love and living together (because invariably one party is dead).They are more about the idea of love than the reality of it.
So I have Zuko say that he doesn't find the story of Oma and Shu romantic at all. I hope his reasons aren't too out of left field. The way I see it, Lu Ten would have been almost a mini Iroh, he would have been a smoothie, a bit of a flirt etc. I think he would have been old enough to have a girlfriend in the firenation. I think if I were Lu Ten's girlfriend and I lost a mini-version of Iroh, I'd go a little nuts and be a little anti-war myself. I think Iroh would have been a bit beside himself with grief/out of the country and returning home, when all the shenanigans with Lu Ten's lady friend happen, so he couldn't protect her from her traitorous fate. Lu Ten and his lady friend loved each other and then he died and she went nuts. For Zuko he would have learned that even when love works out and the relationship is great and the other person loves you back, it can still end in tragedy. When Zuko is talking about how vulnerable love makes you – he mentions how the other person can die on you. I think he's been thinking about Lu Ten for a while after his conversation with Katara and that has further reinforced for him that loving someone totally is an enormous and giant risk.
Zuko is exceptionally uncomfortable in his conversation with Aang. I don't mean for Aang to come off as rude. He is just extremely inquisitive and persistent. I notice in the series that Aang just has this wonderful confidence. He will just ask stuff without worrying about feeling awkward. Zuko has probably had a few awkward conversations with Aang by this point and he realizes that it is better just to answer the kid's questions because Aang's not the sort to let things go. If he wants to know something he will just keep asking and asking and asking.
I think Zuko would feel reluctant talking about this sort of thing with Aang. He's much more guarded in his feelings whereas Aang is just so open about everything. Also I think he would probably feel better talking about these sort of soppy things with Katara – she's his go-to girl for soppy conversations and I think he finds himself sharing things with her more easily that he does with the rest of the gang. I also think Zuko also has an inkling about who they are talking about and regardless of whatever has popped up between Katara and himself, it's pretty obvious to him that Katara isn't returning Aang's crush, so he does his best to gently dissuade Aang by saying the other person might not love you back.
Aang, I think is curious and inquisitive about romantic love. It is completely outside his scope of experience and I imagine this is something that the monks did not have any handy go-to teachings on. Air nomads strike me as more Buddhist in their philosophy than anything else. As far as I know, Buddhism emphasizes love for all things – a sort of detached but universal love- but they do not encourage the intense personal attachment that occurs with romantic love.
On her birthday, Zuko is not the only one who noticed how sexyfine she is (yes that is a reference to the abridged series ;) Aang saw her hotness as well and his crush has intensified. That was what his mysterious disappearing mope was about in the morning. He is crushing on her hardcore. He is also under the impression that the reason why the crystals in the cave of two lovers mean so much to Katara is because that is where they almost kissed. So he thinks he's got a shot! But he is a bit sad that they never do anything just the two of them. He mopes his way into an icecream/surfing/waterbending. Katara thinks she is just being a good friend, but he thinks it's almost a date. So Aang, with his deepening crush on Katara is a bit confused about where things go from here. He's not certain if he just feels intense friendship or if it is real romantic love. So he seeks out advice/validation of his feelings from others.
First he asks Zuko because he and Zuko used to talk about Mai a little bit (back during the great sea prune debacle) and Zuko is one of only three people he knows who has had a relationship. Also Aang has noticed a few moments between Katara and Zuko and wants to subtly remind Zuko of Mai. It is Aang's way of saying you know that girl who is not Katara,-remember her-yeah, good – so stop mooning over my girl!
His conversation with Sokka is a bit more disastrous. I think Sokka is still in that happy first flush of a relationship and he does have a bit of sex on the brain and when Aang asks what the primary difference between friendly love and romantic love, he immediately jumps to the conclusion that Aang is asking about sex and to be fair he does valiantly attempt to have 'the talk' with Aang, but only succeeds in confusing Aang a great deal. Sokka and Zuko are perfect happy to let Suki take the awkward conversation ball. Explaining the facts of life to Aang is something that neither of them wants to do. Ever. Also Sokka's comments about sex being like are garden are inspired by the brilliant movie 'now and then.'
Suki just strikes me as the practical, down to earth sort. I think that if anyone had to explain that sort of thing to Aang, Suki, with her calm competence and experience would be a good choice. She has been leader of a teenage band of girl fighters and I reckon she's the veteran of a few supremely awkward conversations. Anyway I love Suki, and I wanted to incorporate her more into the story.
Also their conversation allowed me to highlight what I think would be Aang's attitude to sex. He doesn't see how sex and love go together. Part of the problem for me with Kataang is just that Katara seems miles ahead of him in the sexual maturity department. Aang is just so young, bless his cotton socks. So sex is a bit icky for him. He probably just innocently crushes on Katara. He fantasizes about holding her hand and chastely kissing her.
But also I think in airnomad culture, sex and love and romance did not go together at all. They were a gender segregated society and Aang was brought up by all male monks. I think sex for them would have been a means to an end- a way of procreating the air nomad race rather than a way of couples to express love. The fantastic Kimberly T *waves at Kim* explains this so much better in her 'promises to keep' fic that all of you should go read! It's brilliant! Anyway in 'promises to keep' the airnomads have a festival where they all meet up and get their nasty on (power to ya airnomads) and then nine months later the next batch of babies are born and then these babies are divided up between the temples. So air nomads don't have a father and a mother per se, instead the entire airnomad race is one big family and the monks raise the babies together as a whole group. Sort of like it takes a village to raise a child philosophy.
But anyway the point of the matter is that the monks would have explained sex to Aang in these terms – it is a way of procreating the race, rather than giving him the when a man and a woman love each other very much speech. So Aang thinks a little differently about sex etc. he doesn't quite associate sex and sexual attraction with romantic love. He is completely lost when Sokka is talking about penguins (penguin sledding is Sokka's extremely euphemistic way of saying 'playing with ya willy'). It is only when Suki mentions babies that he realizes that they are talking about sex.
Next chapter: There will be more misunderstandings about what a man and woman who love each other are getting up to. Zuko will worry. Suki and Katara will have a perplexing conversation. Sokka will owe Suki five silver pieces.
Til then lovely readers…