"You've forgotten," the knowledgeable chuckle rolled deep and heavy through their small group, and Father Anderson viewed the monster responsible with a smirk and a raised brow.

"Well, Demon. You forget to show your work, and I've let you recall that requirement. You owe me a reminder, so what have I forgotten?"

"That I know all about your little boys-"

A raised hand nearly slapped the grinning vampire across his stupid undead face, but Anderson reined in his fury, so that he merely snarled menacingly down at Alucard, his blonde hair standing on end like an infuriated cat, "Your jokes are crude and sick, you Spawn of Satan. For all your talk of my (fictitious) tastes, you prance around in a skirt, twirling your girlish hair, and slathering whore-pant over your face while you drag a teenage boy behind you on a leash."

Alucard had to pause his bickering to check on Integra (and Walter) to make sure they hadn't taken the Priest's words literally. The young woman's expression certainly required a quick, "Of course none of that's true."

"Oh really, Vampire?" a sneer rose on Anderson's lips, and then he grinned at the stupid creature, as Alucard blinked back at him with hefty indifference. "And what do you call all this?" He gestured to the sparkling eyes, and then tugged at a curled lock which sprung and bounced when he released it.

Alucard snorted as he crossed his arms, as if amused, "You just can't keep your hands off of your students, Judas." As Anderson hissed back a threat that Alucard would flunk his class if it was the last thing the paladin did, Alucard sniffed, as if bored, and twisted the lock of hair that had been tugged. "Well, I suppose you have the Catholic Church behind you. They'll believe you; they believe all of their pedophilic priests."

There was a fleeting smile that curled Alucard's lips before Father Anderson tore him from the floor and thrust him into the wall, where the priest's fists gripped the blue jacket and held the petite vampire in place. The livid holy man bent his bloodthirsty glower into Alucard's face, green eyes sparking wildly, "You vile, disgusting, creature. I'll kill you, murder you, massacre and slaughter-" But as his hand went to his suede jacket to retrieve a bayonet (deciding against the scriptures since they weren't bloody enough to satiate him), Anderson suddenly started, stupefied by some foreign disturbance, that a moment later registered in his disbelieving ears.

A girl's high pitched scream threw open the door in the hallway, where the teacher with the earlier noise complaint came upon the scene. The scream having died away, the teacher's outrage rung clearly against the close walls as he ran towards them. Father Anderson couldn't understand what was being yelled at him until the man grabbed his arm, as if the contact restored his hearing. "Put her down, Alexander! Put her down! For God's sake! Please!"

And numbly Anderson did so, and then backed away, according to the pull on his arm, his blank stare fixed to the Vampire Alucard, who was bent, holding himself, his bangs hiding his face. A violent squeeze got Anderson's attention. As though suddenly stepping into sunlight, Father Anderson frowned and blinked down at the agitated man who growled and complained and excused Anderson's behavior to the poor 'grandfather.' "I'm so, so sorry, Sir. Please, let us take care of this. I'm so sorry that this happened." And he suddenly released Anderson and hurried over to his poor, poor victim. The teacher tried to get a look at the victim's face, but she jerked away and only showed him her hair. "Is there anything I can do to help? Are you alright? Are you hurt at all?" he pleaded for a response.

But suddenly the poor, poor child leapt into an endearing embrace, in which she clasped her older sister in her arms, and murmured "Mommy."

…Mommy? The word itself perplexed the teacher, but the ensuing 'battle' went well beyond confusion, to complete nonsensicality. The extremely young "Mommy" was making some sort of gasping noise, fitfully pushing and prying at the girl, stumbling back further along the hall as the scared child refused to let go. "Walter," a hushed but urgent voice snapped, as Integra squirmed and felt her stomach contents churn dangerously. "Walter, get him off me. Get him off me, now!"

The butler hesitated, assessing his options as he examined the dumbfounded teacher. A moment later, and with a resigned sigh, Walter steeled himself as he advanced in support of his distressed mistress.

Alucard felt hands at his waist, and he released Integra out of surprise, expecting to see Walter (having smelled him), but not so much expecting to be hefted into his arms and carried off. He looked back at the faces that were getting farther and farther away (the opposite of what the vampire wanted) and then focused solely on Integra. Pale lips frowned as the black ringlets of hair bounced with each of the butler's steps, light glimmering about a glittery blood-red glare.

Pulling at Walter's vest, Alucard pointed back at his master, and announced in an accurate (for the situation and role) but nonetheless obnoxiously loud voice, "No Grandpa, (you idiot) I want Mommy. I don't want you. Let Mommy carry me."

"Oh, shut up Alucard," the mutter finally came, weighed down with the fatigue that deadened the unfortunate butler's face. Walter kept his twitching gaze on the approaching corner, where he would turn and finally be out of sight. But Alucard made certain his dramatics wouldn't be for nothing.

As he yelled in the old man's ear, making Walter wince and grumble, Alucard hung awkwardly over his shoulder to stretch an incriminating finger towards Father Anderson, "I don't feel safe with him here! He keeps telling me he's going to kill me! Make him go away-!"

As they rounded the corner Walter flung the petite body down the hall, where Alucard tumbled into a heap of sparkling annoyance. Sitting up partially, he tutted the old man, "That's not how you treat a lady."

"You've never been a lady," Walter's polished shoes stopped before Alucard, who lay back down, glaring up at the solid blue gaze from the tiles. "That display was tasteless. What were you thinking? With the vice principal in the state you put her in-"

But the vampire cut him off with a sobering look of actual disbelief and mixed (mild) alarm. "You fool, you've left Integra alone with the Priest. -Does she even have her gun?" Alucard called after the disappearing figure, as Walter strode quickly into the branching corridor, but then slowed to a more casual stride as he saw Father Anderson standing a ways back from Integra and the teacher who was apologizing, endlessly. The priest's head hung low, and he was inspecting his fingers, like a chastised child pulled away from his fun in order to be punished.

Walter aided Integra in assuring the teacher that Alucard had had some role in provoking Mr. Anderson, that Alucard was one of Mr. Anderson's students, and there had been some quarrel related to how Mr. Anderson grades his tests – that correct answers are marked wrong if work is not shown.

Oh God… so this is the infamous Alucard… Without letting his thoughts alter his sympathetic expression, the teacher rubbed his hands nervously, nodded and apologized excessively, "Yes, yes, that is very strict. We'll talk to him about that. Our instructors are allowed to have their own policies, but when it comes to grading, he would have been required to provide a syllabus explaining his expectations. However, because he is filling in for our other instructor, Mr. Anderson never made his own syllabus. Yes, I will explain to him that he must follow the rules that have already been established for the class. I agree, such a change would most certainly be jarring. I understand that your daughter or granddaughter was upset, that she may have said something offensive, but that does not excuse this poor conduct. But please, we will handle this. If you must get in contact, please call the office so we can process this incident in an orderly fashion."

After a few more apologies they parted, and when Integra came to the corner, she soon stopped. Surprised to find Alucard lying outstretched on the tiles, as if he were floating on a cloud of nirvana (instead of lying on the floor of an upswept school corridor). His eyes were shut, his expression was peaceful, and for a second Integra failed to hope he was not dead. But looking at his splayed legs, she pinched the bridge of her nose and initiated the process of bleaching the image of the vampire's panties from her mind.