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a little less conversation...
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So Suki and Zuko are friends now.
They talk.
In a friendly manner.
They have been talking in a friendly manner ever since dinner. Zuko came to help me with the washing up and Suki followed. They were deep in conversation and comparing their different stealth styles. They have realized that they both know very similar moves and techniques even though they trained under very different systems and this has prompted much discussion. There are some moves that are identical. one of them will demonstrate and then Zuko will say something like oh in the fire nation we call this the hidden lotus and then Suki will say oh on kyoshi we refer to it as the shy lotus, and then sometimes they laugh when one of them has a particularly silly name for a specific move. And much fun is had by them.
This conversation is not much fun for me.
In not that they are deliberately excluding me from this conversation, in fact I get the feeling that both of them are trying to include me. But what can I add? I mean I could demonstrate some water bending moves but there wouldn't be a fire nation or a kyoshi name for those and this conversation is mostly about stealth anyway.
Stupid stealth.
I have been washing somewhat grumpily. Zuko is drying and occasionally demonstrating and Suki has been putting the plates away and occasionally demonstrating. After we had finished, they went into the courtyard to have a (friendly) competition over who could do the most backwards flips in a row. Me and Sokka went out to watch them. Sokka is really pleased that they are getting along so well because he has been on at Suki to give Zuko a chance ever since they got paired up, (he's a nice guy, really etc.) Both Suki and Zuko can make it from one end of the courtyard to the other, flipping all the while, without taking a pause, so they have shaken hands as equals in the matter of flips.
-?-
Me and Zuko were having tea after letting off steam and he asked me about the guilty dance. I just explained that it was what he did every time he felt guilty. He'd make his sad panda face, then he'd have a mope/sulk, then he'd get a bit angry at himself and then he'd complain a little bit (eating a whole bunch of fireflakes/moonpeaches during this process is optional). It's not a dance per see, it's more like a predictable sequence of events. I actually find it charming in it's predictability. He smiled and said that he hadn't thought I found anything he did charming. I gave him a playful nudge and it was the only thing, (just a little white lie) and he should not read too much into it.
-?-
Today was Aang's day of co-operation. We have set aside a few hours in the the morning for this. Then Aang has earth bending and fire bending training. Aang had planned a three activities, a blindfolded race around the house (one partner will have to lead the other) and egg relay and a three legged race. I think team Boomerang were at an unfair advantage in the blindfolded race and Aang made Sokka wear the blindfold to make it fair. We had to follow one of three equal paths that he had mapped out and drawn in chalk, one person must be wearing the blindfold at all times and the first to finish wins. The finish line was in the courtyard, just past the fountain. Suki wore the blindfold for team stealthy badasses and I wore the blindfold for Aang.
He blew a whistle and we were off. There were a few collisions at the start and I think Toph deliberately steered Sokka into Zuko and Aang a fair few times. It got a bit squashy at one point when we were all in the same corridor. Aang took my hands and gently steered me away from the others and their various shenanigans and told me to just listen to the sound of his voice. I was really trying, but I could hear bangs and crashes and 'Oi's from the other teams.
Progress was slow. How can Toph stand this? Not seeing where she's going all the time? I felt like sounds became a bit magnified. Every now and then I caught a bit of Zuko's low, husky voice, or Toph's brisk tone, but I tried to drown them out and concentrate on Aang's voice. We went up some stairs, then down some stairs and did a loop around what I presume was the living room. Suddenly there was a lot of exclaiming and commotion and accusations of cheating from the courtyard. I slipped the blindfold off and me and Aang went out to investigate.
Zuko and Suki had made it past the finish line first and Toph and Sokka were displeased. Apparently Toph could 'tell' that Zuko had carried Suki part of the way. Team stealthy badasses claimed that there was no rule against carrying and that it was way quicker and they had thought of it first and had won fair and square -so ha! Aang interjected that carrying wasn't really the point and that the game was meant to build co-operation, but Team stealthy badasses held firm and said that it was still a co-operative effort and Aang had never said they couldn't do it. Eventually Aang relented, much to Toph and Sokka's dismay – they still claimed that they were the rightful winners. Suki told Sokka to stop being a bad sport and if he stopped complaining and let her have this win (for she was still on minus 15 points,) he could win at other things later. Then she winked at him.
I think the rest of us are just collectively ignoring that comment, wink and the subsequent expression on Sokka's face afterward. Eww.
Anyway, Aang granted team stealthy badasses the win on this one. And there was much rejoicing from team stealthy badasses.
-?-
The next game was a three legged race. Normal rules, except Aang specified that there was to be no carrying whatsoever. We tied our legs together and got ready for this very silly and unequal race.
It was on the beach. It was a ridiculous idea. Me and Sokka were both at a big disadvantage because our team-mates were significantly shorter than us, which made a three legged race very tricky. Suki and Zuko on the other hand, did not face this problem. And that is the only reason why they won.
The only reason.
It was all very awkward and eventually team stealthy badasses took the lead with a very inelegant three legged gait. After they crossed the finish line, they actually hugged. Zuko doesn't often hug.
Then he and Suki did a happy dance because they were back in positive numbers. The happy dance was a bit hilarious actually. Toph tripped them both up with her earth bending and I approve of this action.
-?-
The next race was an egg relay. We had to run a short distance passing an egg between us constantly without breaking it. Toph protested that this game was unfair to her because she couldn't catch very well (being blind and all). So Aang said that he'd allow them a head start.
And we were off. Aang can run really fast. Well he can run like the wind I guess. And he ran really far forward while I threw the egg at him. He softened the eggs landing with airbending and waiting till I was closer and passed it back to me. Then he ran on past the finish line and I threw the egg to him again.
We win! We win so hardcore!
The others have protested a little at our win and said it was cheating because Aang used his airbending. Aang has shrugged and said that he had never said that any bending was against the rules. Also he was the Avatar.
Victory is ours!
-?-
Current scores.
Team boomerang -20 (team boomerang are a bit sad that they didn't mop the floor with us and didn't get any wins today and have been consoling each other and reassuring each other of their coolness and promising that they will get us all back tomorrow.
Team avatar -10 (go team!)
Team stealthy badasses – 5 (they are just glad to be back in positive numbers again. They consider this a big win and are celebrating and congratulating each other like they have won the whole festival. )
-?-
I am perturbed by all this friendliness between Suki and Zuko. They aren't doing anything wrong. They can be friends. There's nothing wrong with them being friends and I certainly would have no business telling them to stop being so friendly with each other.
And I know they'd never be more than friends. I know that they do not fancy each other at all and even more to the point there is no way that either of them would do that to Sokka. Zuko is just a big ball of honorableness in this regard and Suki really does have eyes only for Sokka. (She and Sokka had been winking at each other and playing a game of footsie under the table all lunch time.)
I know I was harping on at Zuko to be nicer to Suki and now he is.
I shouldn't be cross.
But he is too nice now. There is too much niceness.
Would it be contrary of me to say this?
-?-
why does this even bother me?
-?-
They are both my friends, I should be happy they are getting along.
-?-
Okay, maybe I'm mad about the hug. And the carrying. He carried her and he hugged her. In the same day. This is unheard of. Zuko is not very touchy feely. Zuko only normally carries or hugs me and even then he does these two things very infrequently... Well there have been all those times when he has carried Toph as well.
Look the point still stands.
Suki has got a lift and a hug in one day. I have never gotten a Zuko lift and a Zuko hug in the same day.
-?-
Zuko came to find me and asked if I wanted to let of steam again tonight. Of course I did. We went down to the beach and had our usual secret spar with each other.
It was another draw.
We were having tea after wards and I asked how it was going with Suki and team badass and he smiled and said Suki was actually really nice, and she was actually quite funny. He said they'd had a chat and they had decided that they were both satisfied with being back in positive numbers and wouldn't be too competitive in the future. He thought that it would be nice if me and Aang won – it being Aang's festival and all. Suki had told him that Sokka wanted to win really bad and she'd try to support team boomerang. He said few more complimentary things about Suki and added that it was nice to have somebody who he could talk about different stealth tactics with.
Hmph.
I told him he could have talked about stealth tactics with me (somewhat grumpily) and he said that he hadn't thought I would have been interested and said I could ask him anything about stealth if
I wanted. I sniffed in a disgruntled fashion and there was a pause.
He looked a little confused and asked if I was mad at him. I told him of course I wasn't mad, why would he think I was mad, there was no reason for me to be mad. He said I was just acting a little cranky. I said that maybe I was a little mad at him, but if he couldn't figure out why – then he didn't deserve to know. Then I put my cup in the sink, poked him with the old common sense stick and stormed off. Zuko called out after me and asked what he had done now,but I didn't answer him.
-?-
Today was a Aang's day of creativity. Aang went on about how the monks taught him to think creatively about problems and how creativity is awesome etc. We are to spend the morning being creative and I wasn't quite sure what they would entail. It became apparent that Aang has been raiding the art room and the music room and the library. We could choose from art (do a painting together), drama (act out a scene together) or music (learn a new song together). Aang put the three categories in the hat and we had to choose at random. Me and Aang got art, Sokka and Toph got drama and Zuko and Suki got music.
-?-
Sokka and Toph are acting out an especially dramatic scene in Love Amongst the Dragons (when Zara meets Kizu for the first time after their battle on mount warning). It apparently happens early in the book. Sokka kept telling Toph that it was the most amazing book and she had to read it and Toph kept making a disgruntled face and various blind jokes at him. Anyway he spent a great deal of time explaining to her what had happened before this illustrious meeting.
Their scene is full of very melodramatic exchanges like:
thou art a dragon powered wench, what spell hath ye woven on mine heart-
You inconsistent scallywag, how dare ye doth declare so after our fearsome battle on yon mountain-
They are both being exceptionally over dramatic, and have gotten some props from the kitchen ( a colander for a helmet etc). All I can tell from the scene is that it is meant to be sad and moving – this is only because both Sokka and Toph are prone to bouts of (mock, hilarious) weeping when rehearsing this scene.
-?-
Zuko and Suki were sitting on the verandah and playing their instruments. It was a very complicated melody, and they were playing together in harmony. I could hear the low sound of the tsungi horn and the gentle twang of the mandolin drift in through the open windows. It was a lovely melody actually. Soothing almost.
But it still kind of vaguely irritated me.
-?-
Aang and I have taken the very creative approach to our painting. We didn't bother with brushes but just smeared our favourite colours all over the big piece of paper Aang had found. Aang would periodically dry the paint with his air bending so that it didn't all smush together and make a sad brown colour. It was all blues and oranges and yellows and they intertwined all together in a rather hypnotic way. I had used my water bending on the paint. The blues went in big long arcs and graceful loops. Aang had taken to throwing the paint at the canvas with his air bending so there were orange splashes and splodges everywhere. It actually looked really cool by the time were were done. When we were finished I used my bending to get the bulk of the paint out of our clothes and it was time for the judging.
-?-
The others all enthused over painting and said it was very ..err creative.
Then Sokka and Toph acted out their scene. It was actually hilarious in its melodrama and over acting. Sokka, who I think is meant to be an evil character, took to laughing manically at every available pause and claiming everything was all part of his brilliant plan and Toph would never get her dark crystals back. Toph slapped Sokka with this feathered fan she'd found from somewhere and declared, in a rather unusual high pitched voice, that he was an incorrigible brute. Much fun was had by all.
Suki and Zuko then had their turn and Zuko said that when they knew that Toph and Sokka were going to do a scene from Love Amongst the Dragons, they decided to play the love theme from the musical version. Suki winked at Sokka and picked up her mandolin. She explained that the lyrics told a story of two warriors from different cultures, who eventually learn to understand one another and later became lovers. She said all this while looking at Sokka with a very soppy expression that I am unused to seeing on Suki's face. Is this what a Love Amongst the Dragons song does to someone? Make them soppy?
Anyway, Zuko lifted the tsungi horn and started playing this slow, sweet melody and after a few beats Suki joined in with her mandolin and began singing. The music got much more complicated quite quickly but they played it masterfully. It was actually lovely listening to them. Suki has a lovely voice and it was a beautiful song.
But it made me a little sad for some reason.
-?-
Zuko and I voted for our painting (Aang said I shouldn't vote for our team, but I did anyway.) Aang and Sokka both voted for team boomerang's stirring portrayal of the confrontation between Zara and Kizu from Love Amongst the Dragons (Sokka has also voted for himself. Go water tribe! We are of one mind in this).Toph voted for the love theme all the way. Suki cast her vote for Team boomerang and Toph and Sokka have erupted with excitement over winning again. Sokka picked Toph up and gave her a twirl and they have done another victory lap over the house, calling each other the various insults from their scene, you saucy wench, you incorrigible brute etc. This was cute. They have also told us all we have to suck it because they are now twenty points ahead. This was not so cute.
Team boomerang are just sore winners I think.
-?-
After lunch, Toph and Aang went off to go earth bending and Sokka resumed reading love amongst the dragons. I went into the library to see if I could find a book for myself and I overheard Zuko and Suki. Talking.
In a friendly manner.
Again.
They were watching Aang train. Zuko was talking about how he didn't want to put too much pressure on Aang because he had realized that Aang doesn't respond well to pressure, but at the same time, everything was so serious and he had so much to teach Aang and Aang kept slacking off. Zuko didn't think Aang had properly realized the scope of his responsibility and the enormity of how hard it was going to be to face Ozai. Suki was giving some very sensible tips about the different training techniques she used when she was leader of the Kyoshi warriors.
After a while Zuko pointed out that she was a bit young to be the leader of the Kyoshi warriors and she shot back that he was a bit young to be captaining a ship in a teasing tone. But then she added in a different voice altogether that the only reason why she was the youngest leader of the Kyoshi warriors was because she wanted it more and had worked harder for it than anyone else.
She explained how it was such a status symbol on Kyoshi island to be a warrior and how she had wanted to be one ever since she was a little girl. When she was little she started sneaking into the dojo everyday to watch the older warriors train and one day the woman who had been leader then (Satsu) had found her and allowed her to join in the training.
Suki asked him how he started learning stealth. She was under the impression that they didn't normally teach fire benders stealth. Firebending is a very in your face style of fighting after all. It's about shock and awe – not sneakiness. Zuko said his story was a bit similar to Suki's and that he used to sneak into the training arena when his cousin Lu Ten was training for special ops. He watch and then try to mimic what he had seen and after a while his cousin started showing him some moves when he had a spare moment. Suki commented that it was ironic that they both learned how to be sneaky by sneaking into places and Zuko agreed.
-?-
Zuko is teaching Aang firebending at the moment. Suki is snuggling with Sokka in one of the big hammocks and singing him the Love Amongst the Dragons theme again. For the third time. Toph is trying to make me a selection of clay mannequins to my exact specifications. I can use them to better teach Aang healing. I was sitting with her while she works and occasionally offering constructive criticism.
-?-
Toph has banished me for too much criticism and has said she can manage on her own.
-?-
I am in the second hammock pretending to read and listening to the Love Amongst the Dragons love theme for the millionth time. Sokka had gotten Suki her mandolin and now she is snuggling with him and strumming and singing in a very relaxed voice.
The were cuddling some more and seemed to have forgotten I was there. Suki told Sokka he was right about Zuko and said that that he wasn't so bad if you gave him a chance. Sokka said You and Zuko are getting along in a dark tone of voice. Suki gave a small surprised laugh and said really? a little disbelievingly.
She told him he knew he was the only smushybear for her and should stop being so silly -in this really affectionate tone of voice. Sokka said he knew that, sounding somewhat reassured. He added that she was his only cherry blossom. Then they started making out in earnest and the mandolin fell out of the hammock and I got up in disgust.
-?-
I don't even know why I am so cross. It is ridiculous. I am being ridiculous. Maybe I should read love amongst the dragons and then I can be soppy as well as ridiculous.
-?-
Zuko and me are friends.
We are just friends.
But we were... like...special friends. He told me things he didn't tell anyone else. It made me feel special - that Zuko chooses to confide in me first. I liked being the person he went to with things. I actually probably confide in him the most out of everyone. Really. I don't even know how this came about, but there it is. When I think about it, if I've ever really bummed, or really mad – Zuko is the one that I will talk to about it. I've told him some of my secrets and I know he'd never tell a soul. And that was special.
-?-
I think I know why it bothers me so much. Zuko and Suki are just friends too. They are just friends who tell each other things. Now I'm not special. That thing about learning stealth from watching his cousin. I did not know that. He told Suki first. Soon Suki will be the one he'll want to talk to because she' so calm and so sensible and doesn't whack him with the common sense stick.
-?-
Disastrous turn of events.
We were at dinner and Zuko and Suki were talking about various hand-to-hand blocking techniques and how this could be incorporated into firebending. They wanted to show Aang and. They. Decided. to. Spar.
Look there is a routine. We have dinner. Me and Zuko do the dishes, then go and let of steam and then we come back and have a cup of tea and nice chat.
That is our thing.
It is our thing that we do.
But not tonight. No- tonight he wants to spar with Suki. We've had dinner, we've washed the dishes and now he is sparring with Suki in the garden. We are all watching. The others are heckling and laughing. Occasionally Zuko will point something out to Aang that will be useful for firebending and the whole thing is degenerating into a firebending lesson. I felt irrationally angry after a while and have stormed off.
-?-
I was sitting on the dock and having a mope when Zuko found me. Apparently he'd been looking for me everywhere. He asked me what the matter was. I said nothing was the matter and he said he thought something was the matter because I was having a mope and he knew I didn't mope for no reason. I made a sarcastic comment about Zuko's powers of deduction and he looked a bit confused and asked why are you mad at me? I changed the conversation and asked why he was looking for me. He said that he thought we were going to let off steam again tonight. I told him that he should just go ask his new friend Suki if he wanted to spar again tonight and there was an odd awkward pause.
Zuko asked me, really uncertainly, if I was jealous. I got a bit defensive and said me? Jealous! Ha! I ranted about how I wasn't jealous, I had no reason to be jealous and if he preferred to hang out with Suki and tell her things and spar with her then that was fine by me. Because I wasn't jealous. at. All.
There was another long pause and Zuko was looking at me with the most baffled face. He said that I had been on at him to be nicer and more friendly to Suki just two days ago and now he was being nicer to her and he had thought I'd be pleased. I made a face at him. He said that nothing else had to change, just because he was friends with Suki now. I was feeling just cross and of sorts and had all this pent up crankiness from today. I stood up and faced him and told him that things had already changed and that I had heard them talking. Zuko looked momentarily taken aback and said that he didn't mind the commonsense stick really and he'd gotten used to it.
This is not about the commonsense stick! (though if I had the commonsense stick on me at that point I would have whacked him with it.)
He looked a bit confused and asked what it was about then. I am normally a bit of an enthusiastic liar where Zuko is concerned. I tell little white lies a fair bit (oh this is just for healing purposes, no- I wasn't snooping, etc) I can lie about the small stuff, but for big things I just can't. I always end up telling the truth even if I don't want to. I now realize that enthusiasm is not the same thing as efficiency- when it comes to lying. An efficient liar would have been able to think up something on the spot. Instead I told (shouted) the truth.
I said that I had overheard them talking about training Aang and learning stealth and he'd told Suki about how he learned stealth from his cousin. He should have told me that first before he told her, because we tell each other things and I liked being the one that he told stuff to. I told him things that I didn't tell anyone else (about Hama, about my mum, about how angry I was when Aang was harping on about forgiveness). I thought that he told me things that he didn't tell anyone else – but now I knew he was just telling things to people wily-nily.
I have stormed off again.
-?-
the house was all asleep when I got back. I was sitting on my balcony feeling cross. I locked the door to my room, but I could still hear Zuko knocking quietly. Eventually he gave up.
-?-
No, he didn't! He had just climbed around the house instead.
Damn you stealth training.
I hadn't even known he was doing it until he swung his long leg over the railings and hoisted himself over onto my balcony. He sat next to me and took a moment to catch his breath. I pretend that I was unhappy to see him and cross my arms in a grumpy fashion.
He told me that I couldn't just say things like that and run away and I said that I hadn't run away, I had stormed off and their was a difference. He shrugged and said I couldn't say things like that and storm off because it wasn't fair and I hadn't even given him a chance to respond. I waited to see what he had to say and there was a long silence. Eventually I prodded him and said that he should say whatever he came here to say then. He obviously hadn't climb all the way around here to tell me nothing.
He did this frustrated little gesture and said that he was trying but he wasn't good at this. He sighed, looked around, crossed his arms, sighed again and then dug into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me while muttering I can't believe you're making me do this. I was about to say that I wasn't making him do anything, but then I realized what he'd handed me. It was his letter from Lu Ten. That stopped my grumpy/bitchy comments in their tracks. He sat with his hands in his lap and was looking at them intently. He said I should read it, if I wanted to so badly. I should read it -if that would prove to me that that I was the person he wanted...to talk to about stuff.
I was actually stunned into silence, which is a rare event for me.
He kept talking in a really embarrassed fashion. It was endearingly awkward. He said that he was just talking about boring old training stuff with Suki and it wasn't fair that I got mad at him about that. But even when I'm mad...I was still his favourite person to talk to... and he probably that talked more to me that he ever had to anybody else, ever. .. and he probably trusted me as much as he could trust anybod...at that point I cut him off with a big hug. It was almost more of a tackle than a hug, because I practically just launched myself at him and held him close. I wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head on his shoulder and his arms came around my back and he gave me a gentle squeeze. I told him he could be quiet now - he talked too much.
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Authors notes: usual rambly diatribe – a bit shorter than usual because I am time poor at the moment! Alas!
Lovely wonderful readers! You have reached the end of a little less conversation. Congratulations and I hope you enjoyed it. This chapter deals with la green eyed monster, but not in the usual way. Big thank you to all my brilliant fabulous and beautiful reviewers- you guys are the greatest! You know I love ya.
Also a little apology for not including the letter- I know I said it was coming in this chapter – but I think the chapter was already getting frightfully long and the letter really opens another kettle of fish and I think it would do better having a chapter of it's own.
But in this chapter we get a veritable feast of feelings. Katara has a lot of them. I actually think, in this case, Katara would be less possessive and jealous if she and Zuko were actually in a relationship. If they were in a relationship – they would be a couple and she would have a romantic connection with him that would be unique and special. But as it is- they are just friends and as such she is very defensive over this friendship.
In my mind, it's not even romantic jealousy really, because there is no chance that Suki and Zuko are going to do the nasty. I just can't see either of their characters going there. Also I do think Suki and Sokka are very much in love. Sokka has a small moment of so..you two...almost jealousy- but Suki finds it a bit humorous and is able to reassure him with her calm sensibleness. For Katara, however, she gets jealous, but she feels like she can't just ask for more snuggles and reassurances from Zuko. She has no way of knowing that she's still his smushybear– so she gets cranky instead.
She and Zuko do have a special bond, but it is one that neither of them are willing to move to the next level at this stage- they have both friendzoned each other in a big way. So they are friends, who confide a lot in each other and spar with each other and this is something that makes their bond special to Katara. When Zuko starts confiding in Suki and sparring with Suki (even though both these things are quiet innocent) she flips out. She is worried that she'll be replaced. So she has a small tantrum of jealousy.
Zuko noticed the minute she stormed off and started looking for her as soon as possible – but he really wasn't expecting a jealous avalanche when he found her. In his mind, Katara has been on at him to be nice to Suki and now he is -she should be happy! When she mentions hearing them talking – he thinks she is referring to when he and Suki were making fun of the commonsense stick last chapter. But then she just throws all these various feelings at him and gets all ranty and storms off. Zuko has a moment of baffled confusion. This is why he doesn't instantly chase after her, because he has to have a moment to say WTF was that?
But when she is talking about how she tells him things that she doesn't tell anybody else – that is true for Zuko as well. In my imagination at least, he confides in Katara probably more than he ever has with anyone – because she is constantly asking and reassuring and pushing at his boundaries and various emotional walls. And at the end of the day, they do have a lovely, almost easy way of just being with each other that I don't think Zuko's had much experience with. He's not good with these big emotionally tense conversations and he hates it when she's mad at him.
He shows her the letter because it is an enormous gesture of trust for him. He doesn't want to have to reveal so much of himself to her, but he does because it seems necessary at the time and it is his Zuko way of letting her know that he trusts her most of all. Katara recognizes what a big gesture it is and they hug.
If I were not following canon, I would probably have them make out here and move their friendship to the next level. It just seems like a logical place to me. But there are plenty of brilliant well written alternative season threes out there and I have decided to try be a little different. I want to do almost a missing-moment-filler-in fic than an AU fic. I want to show that Zutara and Canon can be friends. I have decided to try and be as true to cannon as I can be in this fic. That means that we will have to wait a little while for smoochy-time (But I promise you, it will happen). This fic is shaping up to be a bit long, but I hope I can make it worth the wait lovely readers.
In the next chapter, a letter is read, a game of courage – better known as truth or dare- is played- and much fun is had by all.
Til then lovely readers.