Elizabeth Blarney had served as the boarding school's vice principal for nine years. She had never been afraid of a student, until she had butted heads with the misfortune a poor, godforsaken mother had named Alucard. So as she sat at her polished mahogany desk with her lips pressed into her fists, elbows planted firmly on the wood, and the speaker on her office phone alerted her of Mr. Anderson's skirmish with Miss Hellsing… the woman's eyes widened and a cooling sensation of hope descended as her fear was lifted. Her finger jabbed violently into the button as she snatched up the phone like a hawk sweeping up its prey. "Do not report this incident to the board. There's more to this- This is a special case and I'll be handling it personally. And let me know when Jeffrey can meet with me tomorrow." Jeffrey Harris was their principal.

The woman on the other side of the line wrote a reminder on a purple sticky note and posted it to her computer. "Alrighty then. And we'll have someone come by to re-plaster your wall tomorrow morning. I'll let Mr. Harris know your office will be… out of commission for a while. And I'll keep the exorcism as our little secret, like we promised."

"Thank you."

"Should I send in Mr. Anderson?" The woman with the purple sticky notes gave a semi-sympathetic frown to the hunched over man who sat quietly in a chair beside the wall, seated next to an intimidated student who was only trying to meet with his school counselor (the boy had done absolutely nothing to deserve his current situation). Mr. Anderson was much too large for his chair. And he looked very uncomfortable.

"Yes, send him in now."

…

She asked him to shut the door before he settled into a chair in front of her desk. It was the chair Alucard had been sitting in, and while it had dwarfed the teenage girl, it was still a little cramped for the teacher. Mrs. Blarney exchanged the dull pleasantries that caught Anderson off guard, not having expected to be asked about his classes or how he was doing in light of recent events.

But soon enough the vice principal shifted to their topic, in some sense. Her posture became 'severe' (before it had only been 'serious') and she spoke into her knitted fingers, as her narrowed gaze failed to leave Father Anderson's. This (eye contact) was something most people avoided when faced with the paladin, especially when they weren't Catholic. But a framed image of the Virgin Mary that hung from the wall had earned some brownie points with the priest.

"Mr. Anderson, I was wondering… Is Alucard really afraid of you?"

Father Anderson chewed on a scowl to keep himself from muttering something dark and unpleasant, "No, (she) is not." He was glaring into the wall now, expecting the scolding, the lecture, the announcement that he'd been fired.

The vice principal's fingers thrummed her desk as she thought for a moment. "Mr. Anderson, would you agree… that there is something- something rather odd about Alucard?"

The priest in a suede jacket stared at her, and only blinked.

Her finger nails tapped the wood briefly. "Would you agree that there is something strange about her? That there was something that warranted your… heavy handed response?"

Partially lost in what the vice principal was trying to ask him, Father Anderson still nodded gruffly. "Yes. I know (for a fact) that Alucard is not normal."

The principal brought her hands together eagerly and leaned forward. Anderson squinted at her while she whispered to him; the whole set up, in the dimmed room, in this quiet seclusion, resembled a religious confession, though the woman lacked the necessary 'Forgive me father for I have sinned…' She merely mumbled in a roundabout manner until she found her footing.

Then the tone switched, and the vice principal seemed to be repressing either elation or perplexing terror, a mix between a gossipy school girl and the officer she had discounted earlier. "Have you ever had a problem teaching her? Has she ever disrupted your class, in any way? In any way you can think of, or recall?"

Liking the idea that the vice principal might be trying to expel the monster, Anderson was sorry to say that Alucard had never disrupted his class. But the woman went on.

"Has Alucard ever… thrown anything in class, without you… actually seeing her throw it?"

Seeing his face, Mrs. Blarney lost the majority of her confidence and leaned back sullenly to take a sip of coffee. Father Anderson had straightened and given her a look the vice principal thought showed she had crossed some line. It was all madness, every bit of this. But she'd decided to go all out, given that Mr. Anderson was easy to take care of at this point. He needed her on his side if he was going to keep his job, or at least have any hope of teaching again (anywhere). So the woman gestured to the dents in her wall, and then to the stains on her carpet. "I made Alucard a little angry," she cleared her throat unnecessarily. "And things started catapulting off my desk. But when I let her have her way, of course, nothing else… happened."

"I think Alucard is dangerous," Father Anderson crossed his arms. "I don't think the other children should be exposed to (her)."

At this last part Mrs. Blarney winced, and took another sip of coffee to soothe herself. Sadly, she shook her head. It couldn't be done, because nothing could be proven. And it sounded ridiculous – as though she were claiming a little mouse had the same appetite for flesh that a tiger or lion might.

"How did you make Alucard angry?" Father Anderson asked, curious to know.

The woman sighed, "Oh, well I was offering to transfer her to a pre-calculus class. She didn't like that." She sipped some lukewarm coffee, and her tone became dry, "No. She did not like that one bit."

Anderson frowned, "No. I don't think Alucard should be transferred anywhere. (She) should stay in my class, where I can keep an eye on (her)."

Again the vice principal grew hopeful, and she set down the coffee with warm, grateful eyes. This behemoth of a teacher, with his background as a priest (which was good for exorcising demons, cough cough, or Matilda-esque students) would save her. "So you think you could control Alucard, or monitor her (for me)?"

"Absolutely," Father Anderson said with a heavy and fully confident nod.

'Absolutely' delighted by this, Mrs. Blarney offered the priest a cup of coffee. It was while she was fixing him some tea (as he preferred), that the phone on her desk beeped, and a voice announced that a boy had been caught at the elevator attempting to leave the girl's dormitory (and a scene had been witnessed by a student's grandfather – it was a migraine in the making). She wouldn't learn of Miss Alucard Hellsing's involvement until the next day.

"Hallelujah" blared from her office all morning.