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Embarrassment in three acts - Act one
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So this morning I was oddly creeped out when I was walking around the house. The Cupboard of Crazyevil has given me the heebie jeebies. You know, I always used to think of this place as Zuko's house. When we first came here, it seemed more like his place. But now I feel the bad Ozai vibes everywhere. It feels more like Ozai's house somehow, after reading all the messed up shenanigans he and Azula got up to here.
I slept in this morning but was awoken by the noise of Sokka and Suki departing. Suki and Sokka had said they were going into town today. By going into to town- they probably meant stroll romantically around and feed each other dumplings and call each other smushybear and cherryblossom, without an audience. Zuko was making breakfast for Toph and Aang. Zuko wanted Aang to have a good firebending breakfast etc because they were going to run through every form they had ever learned- ever- today, and Aang would need all his energy. Toph just wanted breakfast. I was supervising the breakfast making and offering suggestions. Zuko got a bowl out for me and I was included in breakfast fun. I sat on the counter and took the skin off lychees while he diced the mangoes.
I told him about my heebie-jeebies and he said that his dad hadn't come here since the family was happy and so he hadn't been here in a very, very long time. He said this without looking up from dicing mangoes. I wasn't sure how 'happy' they'd been when Ozai did come here – but that wasn't a constructive comment to make, so I kept it too myself and focused on the lychees.
Zuko popped a mango cube in his mouth and a bit of juice ran down his chin. I was very distracted by this. Mmmmmmhhh. Suddenly I was overcome but just the maddest urge to just lick it off. Am I weird for thinking this? Would Zuko mind if I did this? Something to think on. Thankfully, I did not act on this, but I may have been staring a little because Zuko gave me an odd look and said what? I told him he had mango juice on his chin (nice save) and he wiped it off.
We headed out to feed Toph and Aang, who were sitting in the courtyard playing this little earth bending game that Toph had invented. It is like jacks, but more violent, - that is the best way I know how to describe it. After breakfast, I took the dishes into the kitchen and came back and sat with Toph. Shirtless firebending practice was on. Mmmmmmmhhhhhh. This was a veritable feast on shirtlessness. Hours of shirtlessness! Toph, after a little while, lay back in the shade and dozed off a bit, but my attention was held completely for an embarrassing amount of time.
-?-
I've come up with a joke:
what's better than Zuko in the prison shirt?
Zuko with no shirt at all.
I crack me up.
I don't know if anyone else would find my joke funny, so I won't try it out just yet. It still needs a bit of work.
-?-
When the practice was over (boo) I expostulated again that I couldn't believe we were hiding from the firelord in his own house. Just looking at the courtyard made me think about all the poor scorpidllos who met a very messy end there. I tried to focus on the shirtlessness in the hope that the shirtlessness could stop my brain from running off down these morbid tangents. Zuko sat down on the fountain and reiterated that nobody had been here in a very long time and it was the last place anyone would think to look for us. He said this with a reassuring glance at Aang (as well myself).
Aang has gotten this oddly panicked look in his eye, whenever the subject of the firelord comes up. When momo has done something bad (rummage through your stuff, eaten the snacks you were saving) he knows it. And when you go looking for him to scold his furry self, he just gets this look in his eye, like he knows trouble is coming for him, and runs off. Aang looks exactly like that sometimes.
Just then Sokka and Suki burst back into the courtyard. He and Suki had found this poster of a play about us and Sokka really, really (ridiculously) wanted to go. A play about us? How is that possible? Apparently, according to Sokka and the poster, the author had scoured the globe for info on us. He read out that the show was being put on by the Ember Island Players – Zuko made this funny exasperated groan and said that they were terrible and his mother used to take them to see them. He said they butchered Love Amongst the Dragons every year - as if this was the worst crime imaginable- on par with kicking puppies or drowning kittens. He is such and Love Amongst the Dragons fan. It's adorable. (He told me later that the book was always better than any play adaptation of it. Never seeing any play myself, I will just have to take his word for it.)
Zuko really didn't want to go. I suggested that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go see a play about ourselves. We are trying to live in hiding and I don't want our cover blown trying to see an play- especially a play that Zuko thinks will be terrible. What a lame way to get discovered! And isn't it a bit.. err... self aggrandising to go see a play about yourself? Sokka disagrees with me. He wanted some wacky, time-wasting nonsense and thought we all needed a break from intense training, beside we (Sokka and I) had never been to the theatre... ever. Didn't I want to go and see what an actual theatre would be like. Well...err...maybe.
Okay yes! Totally yes!
Maybe it could be fun.
Really, Sokka is the leader. There is no better proof that the fact that we are all (even Zuko, who was most against it) going to go see this play. Just because Sokka wants to go. There was a bit of talk over the logistics of going to a show. Aang will have to wear a hat, obviously. Zuko was a bit worried about heading into town because he has a rather, err, recognisable face, and has avoided going into town thus far, quite successfully. Sokka suggested he could just wear his ominous black cloak and use the hood to cover his face. Zuko said Sokka thought the solution to every problem was either cloaks, boomerang or shopping. Sokka protested. There was inelegant struggling. Aang and Toph were both also very keen to see this play and voiced this quite eagerly over the top of the inelegant struggling (Zuko had, at this point, cast a few aspersions on the schedule and was feeling Sokka's wrath). Toph and Aang both really miss the recognition we got in the earth kingdom. Eventually in the face of their enthusiasm, Zuko relented and agreed that we should go.
Yay! A night at the theatre for everyone!
-?-
I went into town with Sokka and Suki to get the tickets and buy a hat for Aang that would cover his arrow sufficiently. Sokka and me had a small argument over Aang's hat. Sokka wanted to get him one that would 'match' his outfit. I just wanted a practical one that would cover as much of the arrow as possible. Eventually we compromised (I let Sokka win) and got him this long pointy hat that could be pulled down a fair way. Suki got distracted by all the shiny things in the weapons and dangerous pointy objects store. So Sokka and I went and queued up at the dragon twin theatre. So named because it had two very elaborately carved dragons curled around the entrance – and two theatres I presume. Two showings of the play were running throughout the day and over-lapping slightly. When we got to the ticket booth, both the afternoon session and the early evening session were sold out and the only tickets left were for the late night session. The ticket guy thought me and Sokka weren't old enough and wouldn't sell the tickets to us.
What the hell?
He said the play could be a bit too violent and scary for kids and there were adult themes and mature content. Eer... excuse me? How can we not be old enough to watch our own lives in play form! We had lived through it -for goodness sake. There were shenanigans and a valiant attempt from Sokka and myself to seem older than we were, but the ticket man could not be dissuaded. Boo.
We wandered back to the dangerous pointy objects store and told Suki our predicament. Apparently we weren't old enough. Suki said leave it to me. She walked briskly and purposefully into a fancy lady shop where there were perfumes, jewellery and other geegaws etc. She went over to the table where there was a large selection of make-up testers. Suki had a bit of an experiment with the make-up, re-did her hair and checked herself in the mirror. She looked a little older now. She told us to wait in the shop, stood up straight, put her shoulders back and her...eerr... chest out and sashayed towards the ticket booth. Ten minutes later, Suki came back with six tickets for a private box.
Suki wins a life forever!
-?-
When we got back to the house, it became apparent that Toph and Zuko had told Aang to keep up the funky ball with all the four elements moving concurrently for as long as possible – because this was what he was doing. He was hovering just above the courtyard and had a very strained look on his face. Toph and Zuko were meant to be watching. They were not. They were otherwise engaged in being ridiculously cute. Seriously, them in the hammock was the most ridiculously cute thing I have ever seen. Ever. Like I felt like I was growing another heart watching them, it was so cute.
Zuko was reading Love Amongst the Dragons to Toph.
Zuko told me later that she'd been a bit upset that she didn't get to find out what happened and had (very shyly) asked him if he would read it aloud for her. She was a bit shy because he knew she didn't like to ask for help or like to admit she couldn't do something for herself. But when it came to books, Toph really couldn't do it for herself. Zuko had agreed readily.
He was doing all the voices again. Toph was listening and seemed really entranced and was lying with her head on his stomach and her feet poking out over the side of the hammock. She was looking content. I couldn't stop the aaaaawwww that escaped my lips. Zuko and Toph both looked up a bit startled, like they'd been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I gestured for him to continue and he blushed a little and kept reading.
Sokka and Suki went off to canoodle. Sokka seemed very into Suki's 'older' woman get up. Aang came down and was exhausted and Zuko told him he had done very well and had kept the funky ball going for an hour and twelve minutes. Aang said that it had been way longer than that and Zuko had just made that number up (Zuko had – he told me later). Zuko ignored this comment about his time keeping skills and said Aang could have a break and a bit of a fly around on Appa if he wanted. Aang did.
I decided to climb into the hammock with them and stretched out next to Zuko and listened for a bit. I sort of dozed off in the hammock. It was the sun and the heat and Zuko's voice. It was all very relaxing. After a while (I'm not sure how long), Sokka came out and said it was time for Toph to train Aang. She was a bit disgruntled and said she just wanted to hear until the next chapter. Zuko read on for a little bit. Ooh... we were getting to a good bit...then suddenly the good bit vanished. According to Zuko the last line of the chapter they were reading was: Then Kizu gave Zara a sweet kiss and they both went back to their separate beds and went to sleep...
Toph made a face at him and said that's it?'Zuko affirmed that was the end of the chapter. Toph made a face, climbed out and called Aang down and then the dulcet noise of earthbending was heard in the courtyard. I smiled at Zuko teasingly. I know that's not what that bit says I said cheekily. I know this because it happened to be one of my favourite bits. I have re-read it several times. Had Zuko been skipping over the naughty bits when he read this to Toph? Zuko had. He said Look I know Toph acts a lot older than she is, but she's still 12. I'm not going to read the smutty bits out to a 12 year old. Good point. Zuko said his mum skipped over the naughty bits as well when she read it out to them as kids and he got a bit of a surprise when he re-read for the first time by himself. Zuko thought that even without the naughty bits - it is still a good story. Maybe, but I think the naughty bits definitely add something. Zuko said yeah, but not for kids. That's why his mum skipped over them and only took them to the matinee sessions of the play and never the late night showings. I asked what was wrong with the late night showings and Zuko just shrugged and said they were a little more saucy than the matinees. He didn't know how much more saucy, because his mum had never taken him to see one. I said we were about to find out because Sokka and I had got late night tickets for this play.
-?-
There was a quick chat with Sokka and Suki – do we really want to take Aang and Toph to a saucy play? Are we Those People? Sokka pointed out that Toph was blind and wouldn't be able to see the cheeky. The cheeky became our euphemism for any unseemly/sexy behaviour there could be in the play. Toph wouldn't be bothered by the cheeky anyway. Aang, maybe, needed to see a bit of the cheeky because he was twelve and still had to have penguin sledding explained to him. And the tickets were great and non-refundable and we'd been able to get a private box and I should stop being miss fussybritches.
I said the joke would be on him, because if what Zuko said was true, the only person who had ever gotten a bit of cheeky during this whole year was him! So this play was going to be super duper embarrassing for him! So ha! Who's a fussybritches now? Suki looked a bit dubious and the idea of everyone seeing a theatrical version of her and Sokka's cheeky time. And voiced some concern to this end.
Sokka retaliated to my comment with what about Zuko and Gloomy Hairbuns? They got cheeky! Zuko made a flabbergasted face and I thought he was about to say well I never! in that pompous tone he sometimes uses. Instead he looked both embarrassed and confused and indignant. He said What?... wait... who? Sokka clarified that Gloomy hairbuns was what we called Mai. Sokka said you told me all about it when we were on the way to the boiling rock! Then Sokka added Fruit tart – my lover? with an eyebrow waggle. The obviously meant something to Zuko because he blushed a hilarious shade of absolute mortification. And made big shushing motions at Sokka. He said I told you that in confidence and nobody is supposed to know about that. Mai will kill me! He did look quite worried about impending death by Gloomy Hairbuns and her ridiculous amount of knives. Sokka said she can't hear us buddy with a big, amused smile on his face. Zuko crossed his arms in front of himself and looked a bit grumpier than usual and said that there was no way that he and Mai would be in the play because they'd been very secretive about everything. So this play was only going to be embarrassing for Sokka and then he added So Ha! quite spiritedly. Suki gave him a look and raise her eyebrow. He shrugged and said what... I have ridiculous, embarrassing things happen to me All. The. Time. It would just be nice for once, to see it happening to somebody else.
I actually can't argue with this. Embarrassing things happen to Zuko fairly frequently after all. Sokka was willing to risk potential embarrassment to see the play; because and I quote : it's a play about us! How can it not be awesome! Suki took a bit of persuading but eventually agreed in the face of Sokka's enthusiasm. We had gotten the tickets now – we may as well go. We decided whoever is next to Aang should cover his ears and eyes if it got too cheeky, because none of us want to have to explain things like penguin sledding again!
-?-
For no reason whatsoever, I kind of hate Gloomy Hairbuns right now. Like a lot.
And fruit tarts.
-?-
What was with the fruit tarts? Did fruit tarts get involved in the cheeky time?
How could fruit tarts get involved in the cheeky time? The mind boggles.
I should stop thinking about this.
-?-
Before I knew it, it was time to head into town. We'd had a light dinner of fried squid and veggies (well- just veggies for Aang) and everyone had gotten dressed. Aang had his hat and Zuko had his ominous cloak on. We were ready. Dragon Twin Theatre here we come. My very first play in an actual theatre! I'm a bit excited.
-?-
We got to our box and there was a slight shenanigan involving seats. Aang wanted to sit next to me and unfortunately the first thing that popped into my head was not very nice. I was worried that now I would have to spend a fair bit of the play covering his ears and eyes and it was my very first play ever and I wanted to watch it properly. Zuko walked over and sat straight down next to me(yay) and the exact time that Aang tried to sit next to me and there was a bit of squashing. Zuko ended up sitting next to me with Aang on the end. Aang demurred some protestations and Zuko got a bit stroppy and said just sit next to me- what's the big deal? in his grumpy Zuko way. Aang sat next to Zuko.
Now Zuko is on Aang sitting duty.
Toph was a bit grumpy that we had gotten the cheaper tickets in what she referred to as the nosebleed section. Apparently her feet couldn't see anything. I reassured her that I would tell her feet what was going on. And then the curtain rose and we were greeted with an amazing amount of white and blue. It was the south pole – or at least a firenation interpretation of the south pole. There were a boy and a girl in a canoe and Sokka tapped me on the shoulder and gestured happily between us and then at the two on stage – as if I hadn't figured out they were meant to be us.
One minute later we were looking at each other a little less happily. StageSokka was just meat obsessed and not really very funny. While realSokka has a great affection for meat, he can actually be really hilarious. I never tell him to his face (his ego is big enough as it is) but he makes me laugh. He was quite irate at stageSokka's lameness. Toph, however, thought that the actor had Sokka pegged. Sokka made an unhappy face at her, which she was completely oblivious too.
StageMe was absolutely nothing like me. She just cried, sorry -tearbended- the whole friggin time and made over-emotional pronouncements and melodramatic speeches about hope every few seconds. The canoe gave her hope, the fish gave her hope, hell even StageSokka gave her hope. All the others laughed (except Zuko) when StageMe went off her nut and just started tearbending everywhere about hope and how she would never relinquishing it, even to her dying breath etc. I was a bit grumpy. I don't sound like that!
StageMe, I also must add, dressed a little inappropriately for the south pole. She had so much leg and cleavage showing. I couldn't go outside at home looking like that and I definitely couldn't stay inside (Gran Gran would make a face at me). I have never, in my whole life, worn such a low cut top. I was worried that we were all (except Toph) in danger of seeing StageMe's nipples at any point. It was all just spilling out up there. Was this the inappropriate content the ticket man had warned us about?
Then Aang's iceberg appeared and StageMe cried out some exposition (who is the boy in the iceberg?) and delivered it very unconvincingly. Then she and StageSokka climbed the iceberg. Thankfully StageMe was not completely useless and opened the iceberg by going waterbending hiiiya (urgh).I had been worried that she would try to open it with her tears or with exposition. Suddenly this woman dressed in yellow and orange popped cheerfully out of the iceberg and announced she was here to spread joy and fun.
Oh my goodness!
Was that Aang?
Aang was being played by a flying bald lady? For a second there I felt I had been a little too hard on StageMe, she had thus far, managed to be the same gender as myself. Toph was just dying of amusement next to me! She thought it was the funniest thing ever. She was most gleeful and teasing of Aang. Aang did not see the funny side. In fact Aang, who is normally quite cheerful, was the grumpiest I have ever seen him. When StageAang announced she was an incurable prankster, Aang got most irate and complained that he wasn't like that at all. I felt like telling him to join the club. So far, none of us had been happy with our portrayals. At least Aang's character was similar to him (the whole lady issue aside), StageMe was just this ridiculous over-emotional mess...oh and she was crying -tearbending- on Aang again.
Then it was Zuko's turn! A boat with stage him and StageUncle came on. StageZuko was at the bow of the boat and being a bit angry about the avatar and honour etc. Zuko's Uncle (who in the play was inexplicably obsessed with cake instead of tea) kept trying to get him to chill out (unsuccessfully). Zuko was quite grouchy because whoever the writer was had made him seem totally stiff and humourless. This struck me as very funny! Zuko is definitely the most serious out of us. He is very fond of the stiff upper lip, maintaining his dignity etc. I wouldn't say humourless, but it was quite a challenge at one point to get him to smile. Of course what was on stage was a really just an overblown exaggeration of what Zuko was like when we first met him. Still I couldn't resist leaning over and saying that I thought that actor was spot on, in a teasing way. Zuko got a bit grumpy and said how could you say that! with some surprise and irritation. The universe obviously likes me better than Zuko. Right at that very moment the StageUncle said something about massages and StageZuko said 'how could you say that' with very similar intonation and inflection to my Zuko, thus proving my point for me. I made a smugetty-smug face of satisfaction at him. I will probably say that this little exchange was probably the high point of the evening for me! It was all downhill from there.
Suki made an appearance! StageME cried on her a little bit and offered some exposition about the Kyoshi warriors. There was a funny bit with Sokka in a dress – Zuko turned around and made a very amused face at Sokka and said the dress really showed off his figure. Sokka crossed his arms grumpily. Zuko asked him if he's been one of the warriors on Kyoshi that day – had they fought while Sokka was wearing a dress? Sokka smacked him with a program and told him to just watch the play. On stage we found a flying rabbit monkey (momo?). There were shenanigans with King Bumi and I was generally useless the whole time. At first StageMe just cried and was a hopeless fighter, but after a few more wacky time wasting shenanigans on stage, another alarming trait of StageMe presented itself.
She was a floozy.
A big one.
She just floozed or cried or exposited (sometimes all three at once.) We had come to the section of the play about Haru. Me and Haru were in prison together (except Haru was trying to save me in this play because StageMe's only discernible skills are crying and exposition. StageMe would not be able to bust anybody out of prison). I had tearbended on Haru several times. I had made a few melodramatic speeches about hope. Then StageMe just totally floozed onto StageHaru. I called him my big strong earthbender man and there was a bit of kissing. Toph, who had, thus far been full of cheeky comments - simply made a face at me. When the kissing continued she said You and Haru- ewww! I told her not to be silly and nothing happened between me and Haru.
Okay, we'd kissed once, just lightly – so lightly that I classify it as nothing. I mean he was the first boy I had ever met who was even close to my age and an acceptable candidate for kissing. I just wanted to see what kissing was like and we were alone in prison together and bollocks it all – these things happen. It was chaste and quick and sweet. But really Haru is not my type and I didn't really fancy him and so nothing came of it. Toph wasn't having it and she crossed her arms a bit grumpily and said I bet you had a secret thing with him. I didn't and I told her so. The universe hates me more than Sokka and Zuko combined because at that moment, StageMe said ooh we must keep our love a secret – this will be our secret thing! And they kissed some more. Then StageMe tearbended over how much hope Haru gave her. I think I died a little inside from embarrassment. I have never been more embarrassed.
-?-
StageZuko was pacing about angrily on his little ship and having a bit of a shout. Real Zuko was shaking his head an watching with this combination of vexation and bafflement. StageZuko had a little tantrum about his honour and Zuko winced a little. He turned to me and said I don't really do that. Do I? in worried tone. What? I asked. He said stomp about and have tantrums about my honour. I said something along the lines of: Well I wouldn't call them tantrums perse. Zuko made an unhappy face at me and I smiled at him and told him I was just teasing. StageZuko then sputtered/muttered/stuttered – either way he totally messed up his line and flounced off a bit embarrassed before he re-entered and had another go at his line. My Zuko got a bit indignant and said I definitely don't do that! Ummm... he did that like three times in two days when we were first at the Western Air Temple. He'd start a conversation with me, then start tripping over his words, then he'd flounce off all embarrassed and then he'd come back again and have a second try at conversation. I smiled widely and said Yes, you do. But it's adorable. Then I patted him on the arm.
-?-
There was a bit of messing about with pirates and more tearbending and exposition from StageMe. Sokka said hey look, it's your mates! to Zuko. Zuko got a bit grumpy and said they weren't his mates. Sokka said that they certainly weren't our mates. This is the sort of conversation that, if were we at home, would lead to inelegant struggling. However, here at the theatre both the boys were distracted by the play. Something very weird was happening on stage. Wow, this was really embarrassing. StageMe had floozied onto a pirate- who inexplicably found StageMe's crying and exposition very charming and wanted to make her his pirate queen. There was much tearbending and emotional speeches about how her rugged pirate gave her so much hope from StageMe. The pirate offered to show StageMe his waterbending scroll and she accepted. Thankfully the curtains came down briefly and there was a change of scenery.
What the hell?
-?-
Okay, before when I said that whole sequence with Haru was the most embarrassing thing ever. I was wrong. This- with Jet and the treehouse and the tearbending was far worse. I think it was worse because I did actually fancy Jet. He was athletic and tall and had messy black hair and we really talked. And now he's probably dead and I just don't know what to think about that whole mess. I certainly didn't want to see that whole incident in the forest acted out (very badly and inaccurately) on stage in front of everyone. Jet was the first (and so far only) boy I ever kissed properly and he was also my first proper fight. The fight against Jet was the first fight I ever won completely on my own. I have really mixed feelings about him.
StageMe did not. StageMe called him various lewd and inappropriate names – Zuko dutifully covered Aang's ears at this point. Aang made a face at him. StageMe floozed and tearbended and expositioned about how nasty the firenation and firenation towns were. (this earned StageMe a few boos. Look, I don't like StageMe, but don't boo her! Or at least don't boo the actress, she's doing the best she can. It's all this stupid writer's fault!)
There was much talk about how nasty the town/firenation was and how it would give her so much hope if she could flood the town with her water bending. Zuko lifted his hands from Aang's ears- this sort of talk was just run-of-the-mill-dreadful for this play. Jet said he would wipe out that nasty town, just for her. StageMe cried in happiness and and said Oh Jet- you're so bad. Then they started to canoodle.
There was some precarious kissing while they were being lifted into the trees as the town was wiped out by a blue sheet. StageMe and jet were off stage, having been safely lifted up. There was a few moments silence and then StageMe yelled out happily Harder-you bad boy! And there was much ado. Branches were shaken. Leaves fell down artistically on the stage. Many necessary comments were made by StageMe and StageJet. Zuko tried, but he was too late to clap his hands over Aang's ears for the first bit. Aang turned and looked at me with this puzzled and hurt face. I couldn't meet his gaze and I looked down at my lap and started fiddling with my hair. I do that sometimes when I feel nervous or embarrassed. I can honestly say this is the most embarrassed. I have ever felt. Ever.
-?-
In the play Zuko had caught Aang.
This never happened.
Well a lot of the shenanigans on stage had never happened. But this was just getting ridiculous. Toph thinks the whole think is hilarious and that the writers did his research. Research schmesearch! For one, it was Zhao who caught Aang, not Zuko. Two, during the time that Aang was captured, I was not 'getting reacquainted' with my pirate friend while Sokka hunted for meat. We were both very sick, otherwise we would have rescued him. Suddenly 'the Blue Spirit' came of stage and poked a few people with his (obviously) cardboard swords. StageAang then jumped on his head and off they sprang to freedom. Zuko and Aang gave each other a weird look. Aang said with some bafflement did you just save me from...yourself. Zuko shrugged in confusion and said apparently.
-?-
It seems like in this play, everything male, that is human and moves, I sleaze onto like a big old floozy. Seriously. I have been paired with Every. Male. Character! In the brief moment that admiral Zhao was in a scene with me – he looked me up and down and said 'how you doing'. StageMe tittered flirtatiously (as she does). StageMe is not very discerning when it comes to her menfolk. I have had so many boyfriends in the past hour I have lost track. Haru, Jet, random prisoners, pirates and villages, Zhao, and Zuko's Uncle have all fallen for StageMe's charms (Stage Zuko hasn't yet, which is a bit weird- all things considered). StageMe's charms appear to be just crying – sorry tearbending- over these various menfolk in a melodramatic fashion and being useless.
The worst so far has been Zuko's uncle. Okay writer – he is like five times my age – that is just nasty. Me and Uncle were chilling in the Spirit Oasis together. Uncle said something very charming (come to daddy- everyone is sufficiently grossed out by this) and StageMe accepted. Zuko went both green and red at the same time. Green from nearly vomiting and red from blushing furiously.
And we are only one act into a three act play.
-?-
I actually think that, had Yue lived, she would have been okay with her character (She would have only been mildly disgruntled -instead of seething with anger like Aang). StageYue was quite pretty and dignified – much like Yue had been in real life. She was still very melodramatic and also prone to tearbending -though less so than StageMe. Yue was my first girl friend who was my own age. I don't want her and her gentleness and courage to be forgotten. If I were writing this, I would make Yue, at least, less melodramatic and more respectable. She sacrificed herself for all of us, she deserves to be remembered properly.
Also If I were writing this, I would tell Stage to pull herself together, pull her top up, and close her legs for more than 15 minutes. Gah! Please Yue, you were always so dignified, do some spirit magic for me and keep StageKatara celibate for the rest of the duration of this play.
-?-
When it was intermission, we all went and chilled out on the steps leading up to our box. Zuko espoused that the intermission was the best part of the play (somewhat grumpily). He was voicing what was a widely held opinion. No one was happy with their characters. Though I must say, Suki had by far the least to complain about. Sokka was very cranky at his portrayal as just a guy who tells lame jokes about meat all the time. Suki arched an eyebrow and said he told lame jokes about plenty of other things. Suki wins at life forever. Aang was really quite cross about being played by a woman and said that at least the Sokka actor looked a little like our Sokka. Really I have never seen Aang so grumpy. I am a bit worried about him really. He ranted about how he wasn't like how the woman who was playing him at all. I tried to reassure him. I mean they aren't accurate portrayals. This is what I have been telling myself and it helps me be less mad about being portrayed as some crying floozy who cracks on to any dude who passes by. (I didn't mention the floozyness. I am hoping that if I don't mention it and just ignore it, the others wont mention it or tease me to death either.) I actually said I'm not some preachy crybaby who can't resist giving over emotional speeches about hope all the time. And there was a bit of an awkward pause. Everyone sort of looked at me and Aang said yeah that's not you at all a bit sarcastically. Toph piped up cheekily that she thought the play was brilliant and fabulous and the writer had done a really good job. She thought that what we were seeing on stage is the truth. She seems to be loving our discomfort. I hope Toph is also played by an over emotional crybaby who makes inappropriate speeches all the time. Then she can see what it feels like.
-?-
The others had gone to the loo or to get snacks, and it was just Zuko and I on the stairs. We were sitting next to each other and I asked him if he thought I was a preachy crybaby. Aang obviously did. He said I was right, they weren't accurate portrayals and it was just a stupid play. He thought I was nothing like StageMe. He though I was brilliant and resilient and then he looked a little embarrassed because he'd accidentally rhymed. Awww. I thanked him, but said I was trying really hard not to take what happened on stage personally. He said that was a good thing to do. He felt like he was literally going to die of embarrassment sometime before the closing act. I was a bit aghast. If anyone of us was going to die of embarrassment it should be me! I told him that embarrassment isn't lethal. Only embarrassing. And that I was infinitely more embarrassed than he was. My actor was is just spreading her legs for any old dude who wanders across stage. Zuko'd only been stomping around, trying to catch Aang and complaining about honour (which, when push comes to shove – is not that dissimilar from what he actually did.) Zuko said he just hated seeing all his old mistakes paraded before him. He hated being reminded of everything he'd done wrong. I told him it could be worse, at least he wasn't being played by a flying bald lady. Zuko gave me a small smile.
We sat in silence on the stairs for a bit. Eventually I asked him something that had been niggling me. When me and Sokka were sick and Aang had been captured, it was Zuko who busted him out. Zuko said it was. I asked why and he ran his hands through his hair a bit before answering quietly that I wouldn't like the answer. I told him to tell me anyway. He said he hadn't had a very noble reason for doing it. He did it because he'd rather Aang free than caught by that dickhead Zhao (Zuko added Agni rest his soul almost automatically after he said Zhao's name. There is something in the way he said that. It bothers me). When Aang was free, Zuko still felt like he had a chance at catching him. And also Zhao was an arrogant dickhead who deserved to have things go badly for him once in a while. Fair enough I guess. At least he was honest about it. I asked him how he even knew where to look and he said that Zhao had sent him a gloating messenger hawk right after he caught Aang. It said:
Dear Zuko
Ha ha ha .I caught the avatar.
You idiot. Ha ha ha.
Sucks to be you! Ha ha ha.
Zhao
Zuko said that Zhao had commandeered a big giant fortress nearby and that on the whole it wasn't that hard to figure out where Aang was. He said that as soon as he figured it out, he knew he was going to free Aang ,if for no other reason than because it would make Zhao look like a right dickhead. He added Who's laughing now – under his breath.
So the firenation navy is made up of very mature people?
Zuko got a program from one of the ushers. I asked why he was bothering. Was he eager to see the Ember Island Players butcher Love Amongst the Dragons again. Zuko made a grumpy face at me and said of course not. He just wanted something else to concentrate on/read why the play was on. He was just going to try and ignore this stupid play from here on out. When he was done reading it, he was going to fold it into a crane or a star or maybe a he'd make a smaller version of the common sense stick with it and I could poke Toph every time she laughed at our expense. Good plan. But I told him it might be unnecessary. We were going into the second act and Toph's character was going to be introduced. She probably wouldn't be so friggin gleeful after she had seen how terrible a stage version of herself could be. At that point Toph and Suki came back from the bathroom and Sokka and Aang came back with more snacks. Aang had kept up a consistent stream of bitching about being played by a woman and Sokka occasionally interjected about the lameness of StageSokka's jokes. This continued until we sat down and Toph shushed them because the awesomeness was about to begin anew.
Yue save me!
-?-
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Long rambly authors note.
Lovely wonderful readers- or at least those of you who haven't given up on me updating. I am so sorry this took so long. I have actually written out almost the whole of the EIP – but is it dreadfully long. I was originally going to post it as one giant long chapter – but I was worried that if I did that I wouldn't get to post the whole thing til next week (Act Two and Act Three still need a lot of editing.) so I thought I would break this super long chappy into three acts. This first act you have just read. Act two will deal with the second part of the play – Zuko and Katara's reaction to their cheeky scene and Katara and Aang's conversation. Act three will be the end of the play and the walk home.
I'm still a bit time poor, but I have handed in two very major essays – So it's not as intense at the moment and I have a bit of time to write. So I have posted this baby for your enjoyment. And I hope you enjoyed it! The EIP is such a lovely and hilarious episode and I wanted to do it justice. I have watched it a worrying amount of times for 'research'.
Ooh side note: I have noticed due to my many viewings that when Katara goes off to look for Aang, she has a black strappy thing round each ankle. They are not connected to her shoes and I have told myself that they are anklets – they are in fact the anklets Zuko gave her. Because I say so and for no other reason.
Big thank you to all my wonderful and brilliant reviewers who are just wonderful and lovely and brilliant! You guys make me smile!
So in this chapter I wanted to have a reason for why Katara is so surprised that they are staying in Ozai's house at the start of the EIP. I think she has really thought of it as Zuko's house, until they discovered the cupboard of crazy evil. Now she's got a heebie-jeebies and seeks reassurance from Zuko. She is also becoming a bit more aware on her growing crush on Zuko. If she could have thought up a legitimate medical reason to lick him again – she totally would have!
I don't think Sokka and Katara have ever been to a play. It didn't look like they had much in the way of theatre down in the south pole and I don't think they would have had time in the intervening period. I also think Sokka is the unofficial leader. When he really wants to do something, no matter how wacky, the others fall in line and do it.
So in my version, the Gaang are going to see a slightly cheekier version of the play. The late night session. Drum roll. I could justify in my head having all of the Gaang going – because it is a play about themselves. But I couldn't really justify that kid who was running around when Zuko and Toph were talking (the one who told him his scar was on the wrong side. Ooh side note – does Toph know Zuko has a scar? I don't recall it ever being discussed in her presence.) so to make me feel better, I made the dragon twin -a twin theatre complex – so there would be two groups of actors acting out the same play. That kid was seeing the early evening session which had just finished – that's why he's there. Also the play must have heaps of showings during the day to be the popular phenomenon it is by Sozin's comet. Anyway, my version of the play is a bit cheekier. And Sokka and Katara aren't old enough for it. Suki tarts herself up a bit to get the gaang tickets. Because she is so wily.
Zuko is reading to Toph because this chapter needed more adorable. Honestly, I think those two are just bundles of cute together. He also skips over the cheeky bits when he reads to her. Big thanks to moonspirityang for the suggestion! Katara loves the cheeky bits! And is a bit disappointed that it completely disappears.
I think Suki, Sokka, Katara and Zuko, as the four oldest kids, would have a mature(ish) conversation about whether they would go to the play after all, especially because it could be cheeky and Toph and Aang are so young. They decide to go because 1 the tickets are non-refundable, 2 it's a play about them, who wouldn't be curious, 3 they all think that the play will only really be embarrassing for Sokka (and Suki a little bit) and both of them are willing to give it a go. Seriously, Zuko just wants one day (one day) when the person feeling ridiculously embarrassed isn't him. Sorry buddy, today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look any better just quietly.
I think Zuko and Sokka had a big gossipy chat about girls in that hot air balloons. That was a long commute. It was just the two of them. They bonded about girls and swapped stories. Zuko obviously knows about Suki. In the boiling rock when Sokka says 'It's Suki!' Zuko instantly knows who he is talking about. So it stands to reason that if Sokka was talking about Suki, Zuko would have talked a little bit about Mai – and maybe shared some cheeky time details that now he wishes he kept to himself. Sokka just likes to tease him a bit after all. I think having a fruit tart was Zuko and Mai's codeword for their cheeky time. They weren't being kinky with the tarts or anything – at least in my imagination.
I have made the play even more ridiculous and made StageKatara a bit of a floozy in it. Apparently there is a portion of fandom that thinks she is a slut. (haters to the left!) look I think Katara's just a bit awesome! Sure she's really bossy and motherly, but I love her for that! I can't have anyone calling my girl a slut. So thought I would send up the sluttyness and I went the opposite direction and had stageKatara be a giant floozy and showed how the the real Katara was somewhat perplexed and embarrassed and put out by this. However, I do think that Katara is trying to be zen and mature about the play and just tells herself -they aren't accurate portrayals. She knows they are totally exaggerated and she tries not to let the play upset/anger her for the most part. Unlike Aang who takes it all so seriously and personally.
I also think that some of the cheeky scenes where there was some actual grounding in reality (Haru, Jet) would make her re-evalute her relationship with them. I think Katara and Haru had a cute and chaste little kiss. Haru is actually the first guy she ever meets who is her age, pretty cute and not her brother or a brother/son substitute. They were alone in prison together, it just stands to reason that there would have been a little something. Nothing comes of it because neither of them quiet fancy the other. Haru is not Katara's type. Toph however, might be a smidge jealous. Haru was her worshipper!
I don't know if I'm going out on a limb here, but I think Katara has a very clear type. Taller than her, athletic build, messy black hair, tragic past and two pointy swordy things. Sound like anyone we know? I think that Katara clearly does fancy Jet. She has a major but very superficial crush on him when she first meets him. I think she has very mixed feelings about him. He's her first proper kiss and the first opponent she defeated decisively on her own. But I think she still finds him attractive even when she is extremely angry at him. At a superficial level -Zuko and Jet are quite similar. I would even go as far as saying Zuko is her type. Beyond the superficial level, I think that Katara and Zuko are a much better fit for each other (well that should probably be obvious by this point) but I also think that bit lusty-superficial layer is there as well.
Aside from Jet/Haru – the whole chappy was a bit of a blast from the past. I brought up a couple of late characters who I think would still be remembered by the Gaang.
Yue: because I think she deserves a little more fanon love. I think she and Katara made friends in the months that Katara was at the north pole. She is the moon spirit and Katara is a waterbender. I have in my imagination that sometimes Katara implores Yue/moonspirit to act on her behalf. Katara has more thoughts on Yue which will be more relevant later.
Zhao: he and Zuko had a super antagonistic relationship. They hated eachother in life, but Zuko still doesn't think he deserved to die the way he did. I don't think there would be a worse was for a firebender to die than by drowning. I think Zhao was petty and wasn't above taunting Zuko. In fact a perchance for taunting seems to be a fire nation trait. Zuko really didn't like him, but he still tried to save him at the north pole despite everything. He did help Aang escape primarily to spite Zhao and to give himself a chance – and he tells Katara the truth about that here, even though he knows she wont like it – she appreciates the honesty. At the end of the day I think Zuko still has mixed feelings about Zhao. I think seeing Zhao reaping what he sowed and choosing to meet a messy end rather than Take Zuko's hand would have had an impact on Zuko. This will also be more relevant at a later chapter.
Also I just wanted to write a very immature letter from Zhao to Zuko. I am sure they happened. also I saw one onf teh ATLA abridged series that really tickled my funnybone.
Also during the play, I was struck by how close Zuko and Katara sit together, even with the scooting in the second Act. Before they scoot, they are right next to each other– why is this? There is literally a whole bench for them to sit on- but even in the show, in a episode which was meant to make fun of Zutara – they are practically on top of each other. If I wasn't meant to ship it, why are they always close together?
Zuko is the only person aside from Katara, who doesn't laugh at stage Katara's tearbending. I like to think this is out of solidarity with her. I'd like to think that he would reassurance her of her awesomeness after Aang's sarcastic comment (yeah, that's not you at all.) I like them having nice, friendly, honest conversations on stairs. So they had one.
YMMV on everything!
Next time (which will hopefully be posted very soon- I didn't meant to leave you guys hanging for so long). We will see Act Two and there will be an exceptionally awkward scene, moment and conversation.
Til then lovely readers.