Interlude: Power-play

There was a crackle of bright white lightning along the Star Labs corridors that ended abruptly with a soft crash.

In hindsight, they probably should have guessed. Taking care of kittens, even metakittens wasn't exactly rocket science, and they'd managed to figure out most of Barry's issues fairly quickly. Still, no one had been prepared for the first time Nyoom passed out.

To be fair, Eddie had had a kitten as a kid, and when he'd overheard a somewhat frantic phone call from Cisco to Barry, he'd said that it was a thing cat's just did. Run around and around and around and then just collapse into a puddle of kitten and sleep. Not something to worry about.

But Eddie was still blissfully unaware of the fact that Nyoom was a speedster kitty, or that any of the other cats had any kind of powers. He'd thought he'd just gotten lucky-or unlucky-with Goldie and Bear, and for whatever reason hadn't pestered Barry about it. Much.

So the second time it happened, no one panicked. The third time, though, she'd been racing along the empty halls, streaking silver lighting, and had suddenly lost control of her legs and crashed headlong into the wall where it curved. Barry'd gotten there a second later, cuddling her. She didn't react, her eyes closed and her tiny chest heaving.

"I think something's wrong," he said, holding her out to Caitlin. Scrap and Fuzzwhump, both having colonized the long table in the cortex, looked on, worried. One of the reddish cats, even Cisco couldn't tell Frieda and Georgia apart, yowled.

(Everyone! Upstairs?)

(What what what what what?) came a chorus of mews as the rest of the kittens flooded the room.

Caitlin blinked. "Um. Ok. I just need to run a test or two, ok?" She could swear that some of the kittens actually understood her, and hoped this was one of those times. "Someone wanna come with me to keep her calm if she wakes up?"

Barry, Scrap, and the calico named Sue ended up accompanying her into the back room, while Cisco and Doctor Wells tried to keep the rest occupied.

"They seem really worried. Do you think it's something serious?" Cisco asked, rubbing Fuzzwhump's ears. Doctor Wells smiled faintly.

"No matter what it might be, I have utmost faith in Doctor Snow's abilities. Apricot, out from under there, if you please."
A minute later, Barry emerged, Nyoom drowsily awake on his shoulder.

"She needs to eat more," he said. "Her metabolism…"

"Is a lot like yours, oh, duh." Cisco facepalmed. "I should have seen that coming. Ok, so if you need about, what, 5000% of the normal caloric intake to keep your speed up, and kittens need...hang on, I need to get to my computer."

Faulkner was seated on the desk before the keyboard, poking at it. Cisco shooed him away. and started googling.

"Ok, so the average four month old kitten-she's about four months, right?-needs about… 275 calories a day, but that'll go up as she gets bigger… so if we assume the ratio is about the same...13,000. Yikes."

"Wow." Caitlin raised her eyebrows. "So does that mean...calorie kitty food? Like Barry's calorie bars?"

"Yep." Cisco said. "Unless we want her to keep passing out. Cuz Barry could just not run as much if he got low on energy, but try telling a kitten to stop running, you know? I'll try to get something figured out soon. Shouldn't be too hard, and hopefully she won't complain about the flavor of the things giving her the energy to keep doing her zoom thing." He gave Barry a rather more pointed look than he'd intended.

"Cisco, they tasted like sawdust."
"Hey, there's only so much I can do if you want to fit 25,000 calories in a granola bar, dude. And I covered them in chocolate!"

"Sawdust!"

After Nyoom assured them all that she was (fine, really, stop fussing) the rest of the kittens went back to business as usual. Faulkner spied on the screens and the click-boards, trying to puzzle them out when the People weren't looking. Koshek found a comfortable position that wasn't four feet in the air and napped, Schmendrick pressed up against him and Cassie on top of both of them. They missed Ginger, who had left with the Two-who-were-one fire humans, the Old one and Soft one's Tom, but the kitten nap pile did alright enough.

Peanut Butter and Sue ventured down into the pipeline, to visit the people in the boxes. Sue very much liked one of the people, even if he'd seemed annoyed with her before.

According to Faulkner, who knew everything, more or less, and Fuzzwhump, who still wasn't so great with people words but picked up on a few things her human said a lot, the man with the warm hands and nimble fingers who shouted so much was called Prism. Or Rainbow. Or Bivolo. Sue wasn't sure what that meant, but it sounded nice enough. He had sounded very confused the first time Peanut Butter had let her in, but she had put a stop to that, purring as loudly as she could, and feeling about with her whiskers. Eventually he had stopped yelling and calmed down.

They all calmed down. That was what Sue did best, even if she couldn't see too well, or find things easily, or figure out people talk. She could make things better. And Bivoprisbow or whatever his name was needed things to be better. He was always so frustrated, in a way that didn't show but went lay close to the bones around the heart and never did anyone any good. So Sue would go and purr and eventually he'd sit and scratch her ears and tell her she was a "pretty kitty" and promise to "draw her if he ever got something to draw with." The calico wasn't clear what that meant so much, but it sounded nice.

Peanut Butter cuddled with her Girl, who had very fluffy hair and liked it when the kitten pawed at it or licked her face. It was always strange in the box, with the mirror wall. None of the other boxes had mirror walls. (Lonely?) The sand colored kitten had asked the first time. The girl had looked at her strangely.

"How did you get in here? Where did you… never mind. C'mere kitty. C'mere. (Mom?)" She finished with a mew.

(Not mom. Friend?) Peanut Butter had insisted, coming closer and rubbing the girl's leg. The human had mewed back, nonsense sounds and words, but Peanut Butter took it in stride. Humans were not particularly cat-smart. Now, several days later, they had their regular greetings. The Fluffy Girl chirped a (Mom fish nap bird) and Peanut Butter responded with a (Sure. Hello.) and spent the next several hours curled up on the Fluffy Girl's lap, or on her back as she napped, or playing with some of the kitten toys Peanut Butter had brought in, little balls with bells and feathery floofs. Sometimes the woman even laughed. She was always happier, Peanut Butter could tell. It made her feel brushed and groomed and sun-bright, hearing her person laugh.

"See, she likes it," Cisco said proudly, pointing at the bowl of kitten food. Nyoom had her face buried in it, a rumbling purr echoing as she scarfed down kibble like she was starving. Nyoom looked up after a moment. Her pale eyes locked on Faulkner, and she mewed shrilly before going back to the food. Faulkner, to everyone's surprise, leaped back up to the computer desk and started batting at the keyboard.

"No, down, kitty," Barry said, going over to the computer. He stopped dead. "Um. Cisco? Caitlin? Doctor Wells?"

Faulkner was typing. Noom say ples make tuna tast not samon Faulkner looked at the screen, then up at the people surrounding him. His whiskers twitched in a cat smile. Cisco's eyes went wide.

"That's...not possible. Cisco, did you do this?" Caitlin asked.

"Nope. Faulkner? If you can understand this-if you did this-type "y" for yes."

Y

"It could be a fluke. Or a trick." Caitlin said. " Faulkner, can you type Y twice?"

Why

"Well, this is certainly a development." Doctor Wells took off his glasses and rubbed them on his cardigan. "Can you tell us where you came from?"

"That's complicated!" Cisco said. "He can write but he's still a cat...isn't he? Aren't you?"

Am cat Faulkner typed each letter one at a time, pressing the keys with a paw, lashing his tail with concentration that vanished halfway through. my mother was a fish fish fish want fish food time yes

"Well, we tried." Barry chewed his lip. "He's only a kitten. Maybe when he's older?"

"Maybe." Caitlin said, rubbing her forehead. Scrap squirmed in her pocket.

"Well...I guess it's time for lunch." Cisco said. "Anyone else hungry?"

Before even Barry could nod, a clowder of cats swarmed the supply room.

"Lunch it is." Cisco went to grab a can opener.

Barry had an afternoon shift, but he was still worried about Nyoom, so he hoped she understood what "at least be quiet" meant and smuggled her into the office. It didn't matter much, Eddie showed up to drop off a case file, and Bear stuck his head out of the detective's bag.

"You brought your cat to work?" Barry asked. Eddie shrugged.

"He's very helpful. And he's really good at calming witnesses down. And, well, the whole...you know. Meta...metacat thing. Very helpful."

"Well, you're not wrong about being helpful. So he's a lie detector?" Barry hoped to distract Eddie from discussing meta anything but Bear and Goldie, particularly if one of the cats was present. After Joe had told Eddie about Metahumans existing at Christmas, Doctor Wells had been more than a little concerned, and the fact that the kittens had powers? That had not helped matters. Barry was pretty sure that Joe and Doctor Wells would not approve of Eddie figuring out the Flash's Identity. And if Eddie found out, with the cats around, it wouldn't be long until Iris did. Barry thought he'd be safer fighting, say, Leonard Snart again than Iris West after learning Barry'd been hiding that from her.

Luckily, it worked.

"You said it, so it has to be true." Eddie raised a hand like a boy scout. "Seriously, try to lie."

Barry tried. He honestly did, opening his mouth to claim to be a purple platypus-bear, the first outrageous lie that came to mind. No sound came out.

"See?" Eddie asked. "I think it's helping Iris, too, she takes Goldie to interviews sometimes. She's going to get to the bottom of every story that Mason guy has her sniffing at."

"I bet," Barry said, faking a smile. With Goldie on her side, Iris could get herself into real trouble. Particularly if she got wind of Metahumans connections to STAR Labs...or the Reverse Flash. He shook his head. He'd do what he could to keep her safe, and so would everyone else in her life. And she could throw a punch. Still, Barry got the feeling this was going to get even more complicated.

"Anyway, I just came to drop this off and say hey." Eddie picked up his bag again. "Captain Singh's keeping me and Joe pretty busy."

Nyoom mewed a farewell to Bear from the cardboard box that had housed Barry's new centrifuge. (Say hi to Goldie.)

(Will) Nyoom responded sleepily.

"So you brought your cat to work, too?" Eddie shook his head, flashed a grin, and left.

Barry rushed through the file, and three others, careful to keep Nyoom occupied and not batting at the papers he was flying through. There wasn't a lot he really needed to do: a fiber analysis, a DNA test on some saliva found on a beer bottle left behind, a tox screen. It was better than needing to go out to a crime scene, with Nyoom to keep an eye on and all.

Speaking of, the kitten was currently curled up asleep on the STAR Labs sweatshirt he'd abandoned on a chair. Most of the work done, Barry snapped a picture to show Cisco later.

He was on his way out for the evening, Nyoom much more alert and shifting inside his gym bag, when Sava stopped him, her face serious.

"Mr. Allen, is there something you didn't tell me about my cat?"

Shoot. Barry winced. "Well, we really don't know where they came from, so…" a bad thought occurred to him. " Is Havoc ok?"

"Ok?" Sava's shoulders shook, and Barry wondered if he was about to get fired. Not that she could fire him for giving her a superpowered cat, that was not in the employee handbook. He'd checked. "OK? This morning the next door neighbor's brat was joyriding his father's power-lawnmower through my herb garden and-Havoc." She paused and Barry's heart sank. In his bag, Nyoom started to vibrate. and Barry clutched the bag to his chest trying to calm her.

"And Havoc is FINE." Sava sounded on the verge of hysterics, waving one arm. Barry had never seen her like this. "He got run over by a Lawn Mower, but he walked it off. Johnny's going to be traumatized for life, and the Lawn Mower's in pieces, but my cat is apparently magical because he's fine!"

"Oh," was all Barry could manage. "Um. Well. You know, I think that…" Head CSI Sava gave him a look, and Barry cleared his throat. "I'll tell the people at STAR Labs to be on the lookout for...odd powers. In the other cats. Um."

"STAR Labs," Sava mused. "I wonder if this has anything to do with the -the mysterious things that keep happening. Don't look so surprised, Allen, I pay attention to the world. Detective West's daughter keeps a blog, you know. If there are super-powered people-that Flash-then why can't their be super-powered cats? Cat's are magical enough normally." She checked her watch. "You're clocked out, and I need to go yell at Johnny's father about my herb garden. Let me know if you learn anything, though."

"Yeah, I will… do that." Barry said earnestly. As Sava left, Barry's eyes widened. If Eddie and Iris's cats had powers, and now Head CSI Sava's...and most of the kittens still back at the lab….His eyes flicked up to Captain Singh's office, and he decided to get out of the precinct while he could.

Cisco's math about the calories is accurate. I did it myself, and double checked.
I did math for you people!