The Inferno

Chapter 5

'Through me you Enter into the City of Woes'

Roy woke up from the dream in a sweat and sat up quickly as his heart raced and the room swirled around him. Hayate, who had been lounging on him just moments earlier, flipped over backwards onto the couch beside him. The dog quickly righted himself and shook off his own post-nap stupor, Roy was not so lucky. He felt detached from everything and he just chose to blame the drugs he was on. He looked at his hands and wondered how he was going to take a shower without using them, he wanted to rid his skin of the sticky film reminder of his nightmare.

Hughes. Each time he closed his eyes he found himself in that cemetery again and each time he saw the pictures of the little girl who would grow up without her father. So why was he telling him this time that the Hell wasn't real and there was something beyond it waiting for him? Was it because he refused to leave that fog and continue his journey? Was he that coward cowering in his tent again who needed the coaxing from his friend to just get the job done? He didn't deny his sins but when it came time to accepting that final judgement he found himself unable to willingly surrender to it.

He looked at the book, still open to the page he was reading when he dozed off. The second circle of Hell where those who allowed lust to override their reason were blown about by a tempest. Never to rest, condemned to an eternity of being whipped and thrown about in a terrible storm because they lived their lives allowing their emotions to do the same. He felt that storm inside him, that destructive vortex bandying about his will and desires. Was that why Hughes mentioned Riza? Was Maes telling him to get a wife because he saw how this sin was eroding him?

Hayate nudged him and Roy looked down at the dog as he wagged his tail and climbed onto his lap. He hugged him, putting his chin on the pups's head as he tried to wiggle and lick his face. He glanced up at the clock and realized it was time for another dose of pills and he reluctantly placed a bookmark between the pages and flipped the book closed. Roy looked up as he heard a knock on the door and Hayate got up to go over and sniff under it to see who was visiting.

"Hey Colonel! Rise and shine!"

It was Ed. What the hell was he doing here? Roy looked around and then sniffed at the shirt he had been wearing for two days and frowned. He smelled awful.

"We're coming in because you're useless and can't open the door."

That damned kid! Roy grunted as he heard the lock being turned. Useless? He could still put his foot in that kid's ass and kick him to the curb. He managed to stand up just as Ed let himself in and Hayate greeted the guests. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, sorry...was letting myself in your home during your recovery from a traumatizing injury...rude?" Ed looked at the scruffy alchemist in his pajamas as he walked over to intercept them. The man stopped in his tracks and stared at him not appreciating the reenactment of the first time they had met. He sniffed at him and snorted, "You smell awful. Do you need us to take you outside and hose you off?"

Roy raised his hand to point to the door to tell him to get out, but his bandaged hand just waved around pathetically as he gestured. Ed, meanwhile, had already made it over to his refrigerator to look for something to eat. Telling him that he wasn't in the mood for guests would seem weak considering he never bothered to be that considerate to a double amputee child. So he mumbled, "Help yourself to whatever you want."

"Why do you only have milk in here?" Ed demanded as he looked in the refrigerator.

"Broken bones need Calcium." Roy swept his pills off the counter and into his cupped hand, making a show of it. He tossed the pills into his mouth and swallowed, regretting the action immediately. A few stuck together and lodged in his throat and he let loose a sad cough before grabbing the glass of water with both hands and lifting it to his lips. He tried to chug it, hoping to dislodge the pills in his throat by force and ended up with some of it dribbling down his chin. He slapped the glass down, wiped his mouth off with his bandaged and returned to the couch. They were on a mission and he wouldn't be rid of them until they got what they wanted, the sooner that happened the sooner he could be at peace to suffer the consequences of taking the pills on an empty stomach. He sat down and Al joined him, Hayate crawled onto Al's lap and the two of them nearly shoved him off the couch.

"So Colonel, we were hoping you'd tell us more about the alchemy they used on you during surgery. Repairing bone...sounds like bio-alchemy and possible help towards our goal." Al said and gently pet Hayate's belly.

"I didn't talk with the man who was in charge of it." Roy looked down at his hands. "He talked to me to reassure me he knew what he was doing, but we didn't discuss it."

Ed came over with a left over bowl of chicken and noodles. Since that day on the train, he couldn't help but see Mustang in a new light; one where he sacrificed his most precious asset to save...well his most precious asset. How he had never seen it before made him feel naïve and blind. So they owed it to Hawkeye to ease her worries about Mustang while she was at work. He wasn't going to tell her that he was trying to choke to death on pills or drown himself with a glass of water. "Did they take the bone out and then put it back in?"

"Or piece together everything and rejoin it within the hand?" Al asked.

"I wasn't watching and they gave me drugs to avoid remembering." He said and watched Ed wolf down the left overs. "I doubt he'd be all that interested in discussing it with me, anymore than I'd discuss Flame Alchemy with him."

"Did they tell you anything? The guy's name?" Ed asked. He was disappointed Mustang wasn't going to be much help but he couldn't be too upset with him. He saw the pill bottles on the counter in the kitchen and didn't need a medical degree to figure out the guy was going through a lot right now. Still, Mustang had no problem barging into the Rockbell's home when he was recovering from his injuries after the transmutation gone wrong, and he felt no remorse in regards to invading Mustang's apartment. No problem at all.

"No." Roy held out his right hand and stared at it. "I don't think it should be healing this fast though. I can't explain it, but the grinding feeling from having a jumbled mess of bone bits in my hand is now gone but I shouldn't be feeling this good about it."

"Colonel, you're not supposed to be moving your hand." Al chided.

"I need to know." He said and wiggled his fingers. "I just had to."

"What's this?" Ed asked and picked up his book. His curiosity was piqued in the office and he wanted to know if he was hiding anything about this Prince Claudio visit. It seemed like something Mustang would do. "Did you find another book on Flame Alchemy?"

"No." Roy snorted. "It's fiction."

Ed looked around for somewhere to sit and realized Mustang's apartment was sparse on furniture. He finally gave up looking for a seat and went over to the man's desk and sat down. He looked at a picture of Mustang and Hughes and quickly returned his eyes to the book. He opened the book and flipped a few pages before saying, "What language is this?"

"Aerugian."

"You speak that too?" Al asked and played with Hayate's ears.

"Yes." Roy said and kept his answers simple. He didn't want company now and he didn't want to tell bedtime stories either. "I'm sure there is a translated version you can pick up from the library. If you want, when I'm feeling better, we can have a book club meeting and discuss it all you want. Right now, I'm tired and my hands hurt like hell. I'm going to bed."

Al was about to ask if he could walk Hayate, but as soon as the dog heard the word 'bed' he jumped off his lap and trotted into the bedroom. He saw the dog leap up on the bed and curl up in a ball. "Ok, we'll come back tomorrow after we go to the library. I want to know more about the bone alchemy."

"And I'm interested in this book. " Ed wondered why Mustang would suddenly choose now to read an Auregian book. Did he know about the Prince's visit? The team didn't seem to think he knew anything about it, but it was a weird coincidence. It was also weird that a Colonel wouldn't know about something of this level of importance. He looked over at him, the man seemed...off. Perhaps the drugs were doing a number on him, but this disheveled mess was hardly what he was anticipating when they came here. "So get some sleep and be ready to talk about what we find tomorrow."

"I really don't want to talk about it." Roy growled.

"Well too damned bad." Ed grinned and closed the book. "Your hands are busted so I can piss you off without getting my hairs singed. I'm taking advantage of this opportunity while I can."

"We don't have anyone else to talk with about medical alchemy." Al shrugged. "Maybe if we talk about it you'll remember what happened?"

Roy sighed. "Doubtful. However I know better than to pretend I'm not here when you show up again tomorrow. You'll either let yourself in or holler in the hallway until you get me evicted."

"Well, it's settled. We'll see you tomorrow." Ed smiled. That gave them all night to read and learn the material they needed. Something was weird about Mustang. This wasn't the same guy who was on top of that train. He wasn't even the guy who checked in on them before he checked into the hospital. So who the hell was he?

Breda sat down at the table and looked at Hawkeye as she tried to take the books from his hands. "Why are we really getting these for Mustang?"

She could feel them all looking at her: Falman with that slightly lifted brow, Fuery with his eyes wide, Havoc with that casual cock of the head and Breda with that intense focus.

"We know you're Elizabeth." Havoc said and saw her breathing stop. "Riza, we've always known."

She finally took a deep breath and realized that she couldn't tackle this on her own. Too much was going on. "He's been different since the surgery. He can be moody, but never like this. There's a passion in his moods and he's never been so resigned to a fate before. He's obsessed with this damned book and in every fiber of my being I know something is wrong. Something happened in that operating room."

"Do you think that the stress and medication might have something to do with this?" Breda asked. "Perhaps he was informed of the Aerugo visit and the thought was in the back of his mind and it somehow spiraled out of control?"

She shook her head. "I know Roy Mustang. I know how he thinks and this is not him. He doesn't allow his mind to be seduced by suggestion, he analyses everything and picks it apart like an alchemist. He can be obsessive when he's doing research but this is not him processing anything. It's allowing the reading material to go unquestioned and accepting it as truth. "

"What kind of drugs do they have him on?" Falman asked and she pulled a piece of paper out of her uniform to hand to him.

"What exactly is he obsessing on?" Breda asked

"Hell." She said and looked away. She felt like she was betraying him, but she was over her head with this and she needed help. "How he's guilty of all these sins and mislead us. He's reading that book in it's original text, savoring the words like he just wants to endure the pain they're experiencing. "

"Well there are two more books you know." Falman said. "Purgetorio and Paradiso."

"I have to get him out of Hell first." She said. "And he doesn't want to leave it."

Havoc watched the team confer on this and pulled Hawkeye off to the side and whispered. "Make him. Like you always do. Go in there and call him an idiot and make him listen to you. We've read the summary of this trilogy, you know. How Dante is obsessed with some chick named Beatrice, his idea of perfection and beauty. She's in heaven waiting to show him around. We're pretty sure if Mustang is Dante, then you're Beatrice. So why don't you go yell at him for getting himself in trouble and tell him to get his shit together?"

"Are we that obvious?" She asked, a tinge of red coloring her cheeks.

"You should see how he looks at you." Havoc grinned. "The way he looks at anyone else who looks at you too."

Riza turned as Breda stood up and held up the book. "Let's talk about how you can use this book against him."

She saw his blood shot eyes and greasy hair and knew he had spent another day not leaving the couch. He was barely sleeping, wasn't bathing and she knew he wasn't eating or taking his medication. She went over and pulled the book from his hands and threw it on the table. "Damned alchemists, you are so quick to obsess on books and ignore the world going on around you."

He felt her hands on his cheeks as she took his face into her hands. "Riza..."

"I've been reading this book as well." She said and his eyes flickered to hers and his eyebrows lifted a little. He was waiting for her to agree with his assessment. If there was one thing that would snap him out of his thoughts it was saying..."You're wrong."

He blinked away the blurry vision of exhaustion as a surge of emotion helped him overcome the mental and sensory sluggishness thanks to sleep deprivation. Wrong?

"I honestly don't see how you can draw any parallels between you and anything in this book." She said and was glad to see him look almost appalled at her implications. Good.

He watched her stand up straight and scoffed, "What?"

"Take a bath, eat and take and your meds and we'll discuss it." She said and saw that flicker of surprise come over his features. Finally, she saw a glimpse of Roy again after days of him hiding off in the distance. She was glad she asked for help, she was being too kind with him. She had to make him defensive, then these thoughts would have to retreat into the background.

"I can't be wrong." He said and watched her go to the kitchen. "It's a personal interpretation of a work of fiction, not some scientific research. There is no wrong."

She looked over her shoulder at him and said, "Your own words...'it's a work of fiction' so why are you using it as a standard to measure yourself by? Have you found religion? Is this what this is about?"

"No..." He looked to the book and couldn't explain why he was so drawn to it. Why these sins seemed to be the only distinguishable things in the mists of his foggy mind. "It may be fiction but it's still left to the reader to determine what they take away from it, just like any novel. I'm utilizing it to see how I've been so self-absorbed that I never considered how my flaws are so much more..."

"You're wrong." She repeated. "So get in the bath and I'll make you some food. When you're done eating I'll tell you why."

He sat up and looked at her, his mouth open and confused by the implication that he could misinterpret something so clear. "Riza..."

"Roy. You're taking that damned book out of context, looking at only one portion through the eyes of a man who wanted to reinforce the principles of his religion. A man who was exiled, who had political motivations for writing this and you're so absorbed in this tale you're not looking at the facts. You're looking at the story when you always criticize the facts first before beginning to digest the content within. You need to take this apart just like you do everything, because looking at something as a whole is not how you think. You break down the structure into it's most basic elements and then come back to understand the compound as a whole. So why aren't you doing that now?"

Roy blinked. That made sense and he had to agree with her. He couldn't offer an explanation as to why he just accepted this as truth.

"You're also forgetting that there are two more books and the narrator travels to purgatory and heaven as well. He is on a journey...he's not stopping anywhere to stay. Dante is on a journey and it's supposed to be about enriching himself and coming back to a life that he comprehends better. Not letting the journey consume him."

Roy watched her lean over the couch, Hayate's tail thumped on his leg as she rubbed his belly. She sounded like Hughes.

"Dante meets with Beatrice in heaven. The woman he loved, the woman who inspired him to write. A woman who he could never have." She watched Roy's dark eyes lift to her, that loving look he reserved for her alone. "If Hughes is your guide...then I'm sure he's painted some ridiculous picture of me. I'm not a saint, I'm a sinner like you and I walk beside you in this journey. Through our innocence days of kisses and coded love notes...to now when you almost threw yourself off a train to save my life. I love you Roy Mustang, and unlike Beatrice I have no intention of letting you walk a path through hell alone. I am not waiting for you in a better place because my place will always be by your side. I am and will always be yours."

He stood up and moved to kiss her, overwhelmed by her words but a finger was placed on his pursed lips before he could make contact with her.

"You smell horrible. Go take a bath, change and try again."

He heard Hayate jump off the couch and trot across the oak floor to join his Mom in the kitchen and he watched her smile down at her faithful dog. He glanced down at the book on the couch and stared at the cover. He wished he could explain to her why he was drawn to it. He was the moth and it was the flame and it continued to singe him every time he touched it. So why couldn't he pry his eyes away from the text within?