Disclaimer, disclaimer, you know the drill, see prior chapter if you have any questions.

Penny continued staring into Leonard's brown eyes. She was actually surprised he hadn't looked away, or even blushed. She slid her arms from around his neck, moving past him into the apartment sliding her left hand across his chest. He had shuddered a little then, was that a good sign? She looked around the apartment that in many ways had been her home as well as his.

An audible "Wow", escaped her lips as she took it all in. The furniture was laid out in a similar way as it had been then. Though now he had his desk by the window, and where Sheldon's desk had been was a dark walnut side board with a pewter urn on the top. Where his desk had been in the old days was an antique wardrobe of the same dark walnut. The couch was dark brown leather, longer than the old one. The chair next to it a cushioned and comfortable looking tan Swedish design with dark cherry inlays.

The coffee table was unique. A single burl of some exotic wood with carved and white inlaid formulas cut into the wood. She recognized some of them from guy's old white boards, but these were stylized and lovely. A glass with what she assumed was Scotch was sitting on a marble coaster. She looked up at the walls. They were mostly mustard with a maroon accent wall. On the walls were old movie posters in black metal frames. There was the original Superman, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, but also Casablanca and Dr. Zhivago. There was a large frame with some rare comic books behind the glass. The Flash, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman. Leonard had never really cared for Wonder Woman she mused.

She turned toward the kitchen. The cabinetry was red cherry, lighter than the rest of the furniture. The counters were a crimson slightly darker than the accent wall. The Island had the glass doors beneath of a custom made wine cellar. The floor was jet black tile, with bright white specs like stars. In the corner where the old range had been was large professional stainless steel gas cooktop and oven with a matching hood. A stainless refrigerator sat where the old one had. Above the kitchen island hung a pot rack that was laden with copper cookware. The entire living room floor was a pine hardwood that fit the room to a tee. In front of the old closet was an 8ft silver fir Christmas tree without a single decoration.

She turned back to the door, Leonard had closed it and was standing there staring at her. He had a slight grin and held her gaze steadily. She studied him for moment. He looked older, more worn around the edges. His hair was cut short. He had on a blue dress shirt, tan worsted wool slacks and light tan loafers that actually matched his belt. He looked thinner if that was possible and absolutely incredible to her. Another audible "Wow" escaped her lips once again. She recovered quickly, "It's incredible Leonard, the apartment is so, so", she searched for the right adjective, "sophisticated and lovely but very homey also."

"Thank you", he replied walking toward her, "It took a bit but it all came together", he stopped next to her. They looked into each other's eyes again for a not brief moment. What was it about his eyes, and then she had it. "Where are your glasses?"

Leonard smiled and walked toward the kitchen, speaking over his shoulder. "I had my eyes fixed in Europe, Dual-Optic laser surgery. It'll be in the states in another year. I just need reading glasses now, can't fix age quite as easily I'm afraid"

He walked behind the kitchen island and turned back smiling. Penny felt a shiver, it was THAT SMILE. "Can I get your something? I have a lovely Chardonnay from Burgundy I was going to open tonight? Coffee, herbal tea, no soft drinks I'm afraid." Penny thought about the rehab remark in his interview. She had never actually been in rehab. Her publicist had thought it sounded better than therapy. She was not an alcoholic. She had never learned to deal with stress and being depressed when she was younger. Alcohol had been her way of dealing with it. Therapy had helped she rarely was ever more than a little tipsy anymore, and then very rarely.

"I would love a glass of wine." She watched him pull a bottle from under the island and quickly pull the cork. He pulled wine glasses from the cabinet and poured each about a quarter full.

"Would you like some cheese or fruit with it, I have some nice Gruyere or Stilton and some apples and pears." Penny was hungry. She'd left the studio in Burbank without hitting the craft services buffet. Then something else popped into her head. "Sure, but since when does Leonard Hoftstader eat diary?"

Leonard chuckled, "Since Dr. Hofstadter's physician prescribed him a new lactose enzyme drug about 8 years ago. Did I ever tell you I love ice cream?"

Leonard had used that smile again, now it just felt familiar again but she could feel herself grinning. He was putting cheese on a tray, grabbed an apple and pear from the fruit bowl on the counter.. She watched him pull a paring knife from the butcher block and slice up the fruit. She was actually very impressed by how quickly he'd done it. The fruit went on the plate and he held out the wine to her. She accepted the glass, he picked up his own and the tray and motioned to the couch. She was about to sit on the end of the couch but stopped herself.

Leonard laughed, "It's okay Penny. Sheldon won't be here in the foreseeable future you can have his spot." They both laughed now and Penny sat down.

She sipped some wine and looked over the glass at him. He'd picked up the scotch glass, drained it and put his wine back on the coaster. He got up and put the whiskey tumbler on the island and came back and sat down. "Never waste single malt scotch", he said as he picked up his wine glass in his left hand. That's when she saw the ring on his finger, golden with little tiny runes on the outside. He noticed her looking. "My wedding ring, it's a reproduction of the one ring. Remember the one that you punched out Sheldon for. Liisa found a place in South Africa that made them from 24 karat gold."

He looked a little uncomfortable, but was almost instantly in control of himself again. Smiling back at her again, now she was uncomfortable. She looked away over to the Christmas tree. "So we should start decorating your tree."

He was smiling at her again. "That may be a bit of a problem, I have no decorations or lights yet." They both laughed. "Well so much for that thought, what should we talk about?" Penny said almost afraid of the answer.

He looked at her again and smiled holding her eyes with his. "You've obviously read my interview. God knows how you found it. I haven't even managed it yet, but truthfully I haven't even tried. Why don't you tell me about what has happened in your life since we were together?"

Penny controlled her features, being an actor certainly helped some times. This really was the moment, put up or shut up. He was so confident now, so comfortable with himself. She found it immensely attractive and sexy. "Control", she whispered to herself, "Control". She looked away from him concentrating on the urn on the side board. "I'll try Leonard, but you'll have to let me get it all out."

He just nodded and she began:

"When I first got to New York I was so excited, but I missed you and everyone so much. I was working really hard. Though I'd taken lots of acting classes and been in the commercial I had no clue what doing television every week was really like. It was really on the job training. I was learning my craft, my trade. This was the real thing not just how to act, but how to be directed, to show emotion, to use your expressions and body language to express how your character feels.

Here's a word of warning Leonard, actors are the best liars in the world. They do it every day, they rehearse it, perfect it. Actors learn how to elicit the feeling from you that's required. I didn't know that then. I was working so hard, learning but it was very difficult. I missed you and everyone so much, that and the stress had me drinking pretty heavy. Well it finally happened. I went out with Mark, the co-star, for drinks one night after a taping. I had way too much to drink. I woke up the next morning in bed with him.

I felt so guilty for betraying you, it was like Raj all over again but this time we really did have sex. It was the last time, but I couldn't figure out what to do. I felt so un-worthy of you and even my friends. That's when I wrote you the letter breaking it off. I actually wrote another letter that explained what happened but I never sent that one. I felt like I didn't deserve someone like you, or anyone as good as you."

Penny stopped at this point, she asked for a tissue. Leonard retrieved a box from his desk and gave it to her. When he set them next to her he reached over and squeezed her hand and gave her the smile.

"I continued working, trying very hard to just keep it professional. Bernadette was still my lifeline back with everyone here. I worked through most of December and wanted to come back for Christmas. But then Bernadette told me you were leaving Caltech to work in Europe. There was no use coming back.

I tried to keep track of you via Facebook and Twitter but you had stopped posting on either. I did find your class schedule at Oxford though that was something. I met Matt at a party the next fall. I had promised myself to not go out with musicians but I thought he was different. He was moody and I thought deep. Boy was I wrong. We got married on a trip to Vegas with his pals. I think he was actually fooling around on me when we were there. The best word to describe Matt was "hound". We were together a total of about 10 weeks when I filed for divorce. I really did understand the need for a pre-nup after that. The divorce took almost a year. The sitcom was coming to an end. It never had the ratings, but my character was very popular . The producers wanted to spin my character off into a new show. I told them that I would do it only if it moved to LA. They agreed and I moved back and started what turned into a five season show.

I became Penelope Jenson, which I always thought was a lame name. I've been her some of the time ever since. The rest of the time I'm just Penny, even though there aren't a lot of people that know she still exists. I went into therapy after I got back, not rehab as the tabloids said. It has really helped a lot over the years. A lifeline I could grab when things went badly. I've had a few relationships since then. But it's tough being the boyfriend of a celebrity. It's also tough trying to figure out if someone is with you or the character your play. So in the end I've just kept everything casual the last few years, no one permanent, if anyone at all. I have my causes, children, animals, the environment, and migrant workers.

I've followed your career as best I could. You were pretty low key. I tried to read your papers, but they went over my head. I saw press releases about your work at CERN. When you married in Europe I was happy for you but saddened for myself. I quit trying to keep track of you. Though I still did Google you from time to time. I also tried to follow all of our old friends from a distance. I of course made new friends along the way most in the industry. I cried for you when I saw that your wife had died.

I knew about you coming back. I hoped you would get in touch with me. I also knew that you wouldn't know how even if you tried. Generally there is a barriers between me and the public. Though the person who tweets on twitter really is me, I always hoped you would reply someday.

Then yesterday I got a tweet with a link to the Caltech article. I read it and realized you may not know where I am but I knew exactly where you were.

So that's how I got here, I knew you had a tree that needed trimming. I didn't know you hadn't got any of the trimmings yet."

She looked at Leonard face. He was stoic, lost in thought. He was staring at the urn on the side board. He turned and smiled the smile at her. "Liisa knew more about you in her last few years than I did. When she found out the torch I carried was for Penelope Jensen she followed you. She would tell me if you were doing well. What your latest movie part was and if anyone was linked to you romantically. She was rather star struck by you and a fan, even when she was so sick."

Finally Penny saw pain on Leonard's face, it only lasted a moment but he was clearly anguished. Perhaps he was the actor he hid it so quickly and so well.

"He took her hands in his, Penny I've thought of how to contact you, but your right I never could figure out how,"

He suddenly got very serious, "I haven't let anybody into my life in a long time, and it's not because that wouldn't be what she would have wanted." He gently nodded his head at the pewter urn. He finally did look down at the ground. There was a glimpse of the shy Leonard of old.

"If I was to see anyone again, it would be you. Is that why you're here?"

She didn't have to think much about it. That really was why she was here. "Yes"

He stared hard at her face, looking deeply in her eyes. You could almost see the wheels turning in his big brain.

"I want you to know deep in my heart it's something I'd like to try again, but it's complicated. I think it might be little easier to show you." Penny had a confused look on her face. Leonard stood and held out his hand. She took it, and stood also. His hands are rougher than they used to be, more calloused.

Leonard led her down the hallway past the open door to his room, the bedside light was on. This room was almost exactly as it had been when they were together. A blue comforter was on the bed, Star Wars memorabilia on his dresser along with framed photos she couldn't quite see. He led her to the door to Sheldon's old room which was closed. He grasped the handle and opened it reaching in to turn on the light.

The room was pink with a lavender border around the ceiling. A beautiful white princess bed was in the corner, upon its pink comforter we several stuffed animals. The carpet was lavender with Disney characters sewn into the weave. There were white shelves filled with toys and books lining one wall, a low white activity table in the middle with red legs and two very small chairs. The table had a stack of drawing paper, and a large clay jar full of crayons and paint brushes. On the wall in large white letters was the name Lisel.

Penny took it all in, after a moment she heard Leonard. He sounded happier, "Lisel is my 4 year old daughter. This will be her room when she gets here, she's never seen it. She's been in Europe with Liisa's parents since the early fall. I'll be going over to get her in January."

Penny turned toward Leonard. She put her arms round his neck and pulled herself into a hug, his hands naturally coming up softly on her sides. "Oh Leonard", she said in a soft sad voice.

He whispered, "Like I said it's complicated".

I hoped you liked it, let me know in the review, Stay tuned for Chapter 3