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Liquid-y hot

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-?-

We all sat around the table and came up with a few different battle strategies. Sokka had gotten out some big sheets of parchment to write down everything. Normally planning and brainstorming is Sokka's element and he is always a little too delighted to be doing it, but even he looked strangely grim as we tossed ideas back and forth.

When even Sokka's not making jokes, you know that it's serious business.

Eventually we settled on a rough idea. Zuko said that his dad rarely, if ever, left the throne room except for self-aggrandizing purposes. In the war meeting, his father had been more concerned about the big parade before the airship fleet took off than the actual planning of the battle. Zuko knew that parade was meant to happen at sunset tomorrow and he figured that would be the best time to attack, when his father was out of the palace and at the parade down near the harbour. That way we wouldn't have to deal with breaking into the highly guarded palace, we would be near water for me and the ground was made out of good solid stone for Toph. The big drawback was that we would be attacking the firelord in front of a large military assembly of the new airship crew.

Everyone has views on this. Shenanigans and arguments were had. Toph and Zuko had a squabble. Toph got upset when Zuko insinuated that she wouldn't be much use in an airship and therefore we should attack before the firelord took off in the airships. Toph always hates it when it is insinuated that she is any less capable than us and pointed out her various skills with metalbending and that the airships were made almost entirely out of metal. Zuko said she couldn't metalbend the entire ship and if she threw up repeatedly on gondolas/trains/other forms of transport, this same nausea would most likely occur on an airship and would not be helpful in battle. Toph threatened to go metalbend his dao swords and then they would not be helpful in battle either. Sokka shushed and separated them and tried to get the conversation back on track re: attack plans.

Eventually we settled on a rough plan of attack. Zuko was sure his dad would get up and make some sort of speech, and at that moment, Sokka and Suki would drawn the attention of the gathered armed forces and distracted them, then Zuko and Toph and I would attack from the other side with our bendings and then Aang would be able to attack straight down the middle. Zuko and Sokka had a quick, whispered conversation and then Zuko said that there was something really important that he needed to teach Aang before tomorrow and he got up and gestured for Aang to follow him and after a few seconds I did the same. I left the others who were still brainstorming the plan and followed them out into the courtyard. I always watch the firebending practice after all.

-?-

Zuko was talking about lightning bending and the basic principles behind it and Aang was listening intently. Zuko had hoped that Aang would have had a chance to develop more control before he taught him this, but if Aang concentrated very hard, Zuko was sure he could do it. Aang made an almost comical face of concentration and said he was ready. Zuko's lips quirked for a second, but he kept a straight face and explained that he what was going to teach Aang was crucial, Aang needed to learn it before facing his father. Zuko was going to teach Aang how to redirect lightning, so that if either Azula or his father fired lightning at him, he'd be able to redirect it and not get hurt. Aang's eyes widened. He didn't even know redirecting lightning was possible.

Zuko explained the basic technique, and made Aang copy his movements. It actually sounded a little like waterbending – turning an opponent's strength against them. Aang pointed this out and Zuko concurred and said that his uncle had actually invented this technique himself by watching waterbenders and he gave me a quick glance. When/how did his Uncle do this? Certainly no one from the northern water tribe would give a firebender the time of day, let alone teach them anything. Am baffled.

They practiced for a little longer and Zuko explained about chi flow etc. Then Aang asked if Zuko had ever redirected lightning before. Zuko had, just once, against his father. Oh. Aang didn't seem to consider the implications of this statement the same way I did because he asked (quite cheerfully) how it felt – to redirect lightning that is, not how it felt to have his Dad actually try to kill him. Zuko said it was exhilarating and Aang looked very enthusiastic. Zuko added that it was also terrifying, because it feels very powerful, but if you make one mistake it's all over and redirecting lightning is very dangerous etc. Aang's face fell and he looked a little nervous and said it wouldn't be over over- because there would also be me and a little spirit water and he glanced over at me for confirmation.

I'd used all the spirit water up the last time Aang got shot and I told him so as gently and firmly as possible. I wouldn't be able to heal any lightning injuries without it. In any case, Aang couldn't go into battle thinking I can heal everything, spirit water or no, because then he might unconsciously think that there's this safety net there that isn't really there at all. Aang turned back to lightning practice with less enthusiasm and he and Zuko practiced some more. Zuko said that Aang would definitely need to know this by tomorrow because he was sure his father would fire a bolt at Aang and Aang would have to take the firelord's life, before the firelord could kill him. Zuko went off to go get something and Aang's face fell for a second and he muttered something under his breath that I couldn't hear.

Zuko came back with a ribbon to help Aang visualize the flow of chi. And when Aang was ready, they could try the technique with other firebending forms, redirecting firewhips etc. but Aang had to be sure he was ready because redirecting wasn't a block perse, but allowing the fire energy into your body and guiding it elsewhere. If Aang wasn't ready- he might get burned/hurt. Aang nodded and said he understood and more practicing was had. After about an hour, Aang could redirect most of the firewhips that Zuko threw at him and I could tell Zuko was quite pleased with his progress.

-?-

We took a break and had lunch and Sokka gave us a rundown of his plan, which had become more streamlined during the practice, and Zuko told everybody about redirecting lightning and that he was confident that Aang should be able to redirect lightning when the time came. Sokka looked pleased and said well that's settled then, which baffled both me and Aang slightly.

Apparently Zuko had told Sokka about lightning redirecting a while ago and now they both thought it would be the easiest way for Aang to take out the firelord. Zuko explained that his dad was the quickest and could generate a lethal bolt in one second flat (Azula and his Uncle both needed a little extra time) and as a result his Dad was really proud of his lightning and used it all the time. He would use it tomorrow and Zuko could redirect any bolts fired at us away, but he hoped that would not be too many and Aang would be able to quickly redirect one back at the firelord. It sounded so simple when the boys explained it, but Aang looked dubious and said he wasn't sure about the plan.

Sokka asked why, because as far as he could see the plan worked really well and on the whole he doesn't like aspersions cast on his plans. Aang said that killing the firelord felt wrong and there was a brief and awkward pause while we all looked at each other in surprise. Sokka said it wasn't killing killing, it would be self defense. The firelord would have to aim a bolt of lightning at him and he would simply be redirecting his lightning back at him. Therefore the firelord would be bringing it on himself. Aang still looked skeptical and said that Zuko had redirected lightning from his father and hadn't killed him, so there. Zuko looked a little flabbergasted at being put on the spot and said he hadn't killed Ozai because he had known that defeating the fatherlord was Aang's fight and that Aang had to do it for lasting peace etc. Aang said he still wasn't sure it was the right thing to do and Sokka got a bit impatient and asked what Aang suggested then.

Aang didn't have any other suggestions.

-?-

Me and Zuko did the dishes after lunch while everyone else got ready to practice Sokka's plan. Suki was running Toph through some basic hand to hand combat moves, just in case anyone got too close for Toph's earthbending or she got into a situation where she couldn't bend. Toph said she would be fine, but Suki, like me, is a bit of a worrier (as well as a warrior, heh) as she seemed to like showing Toph some kyoshi moves – just in case. Sokka and Aang were having a long and quiet chat over the various maps and things. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but every now and then Sokka would point rather vigorously at the map.

I was feeling a bit nervous about all this lightning talk. It's just, the lightning bending really freaks me out. All this talk of lightning being thrown around willy-nilly at the battle tomorrow was making me anxious. I'm pretty brave, I think, but still, I didn't want to have a bunch of lightning thrown at me. Zuko seemed to get that I was feeling a bit freaked out, even though I was trying to pretend I wasn't scared. He told me not to worry, he wouldn't let any lightning hit me or any of us – he was good at redirecting it after all.

I muttered that I couldn't believe his dad has tried to kill him (in a more increduous what-kind-of-person-does-that-sort-of-way, not in a I-really-can't-believe-it-way because it is not really that out of character for Ozai). Zuko said I can softly and added that he hadn't even been surprised when it happened. Besides, it's not like it's the worst thing he's ever done to me he said, a little bitterly, and we had a brief moment of silence. I gave his shoulder a light squeeze but didn't say anything. Zuko tried to improve the mood by saying, in a good impersonation of my brusquely positive voice, that the bright side was that his dad had fired a full charge at him and it had been fairly easy to redirect so he was pretty sure he'd be able to keep the lightning away from all of us tomorrow.

I said that I did feel a little better, knowing that he'd be watching our backs tomorrow and he said that he felt a little better knowing that I'd be watching his. Then he gave me a little nudge and went back to drying the dishes. Then after a second I said that I thought we worked pretty well as a team, just the two of us, and he smiled at me (pretty shyly) and blushed and said he thought so too. And it's like you said, if we stick together - we can do anything.

He got a hug for that.

-?-

First we practiced a few rough versions of Sokka's plan on the beach in front of the house and then we all climbed on Appa to find a better location to do a more realistic enactment. There was an old half lava tunnel nearby that vaguely resembled the royal plaza. It was roughly the same length and breath and had high walls on either side. Sokka even made a mock firelord out of a melon and placed him on the high ground.

We would all split into our groups except for Toph. Sokka declared she would be the Melon Lord's forces – Toph asked if she could throw flaming rocks at all of us – she was worryingly gleeful at this prospect, and Sokka agreed because it would make training feel more realistic.

Tomorrow though, Toph will be with Sokka and Suki, even though we had originally planned for her to attack with me and Zuko (all three benders together and everything). Sokka pulled me aside before we all hopped on Appa and told me of the change in plans. He said he hoped we didn't mind, but Toph was the youngest and would need looking after, no matter how tough she acted, and we could get distracted with bending etc whereas Sokka and Suki would be able to flank her and look after her better. I agreed.

What was endearingly cute was that Toph said almost the same thing to me a few minutes later. When we were on Appa she scooted over and whispered in my ear, so that that the others wouldn't hear. She said that Sokka and Suki thought they were super tough, but still they were the only non-benders with us. She had volunteered to attack first with Suki and Sokka so she could protect them. I nodded sagely at her conclusion and couldn't resist the urge to ruffle her hair a little bit– for which I got a light punch on the arm.

Sokka ran though his plan again with us. He described me and Zuko as team liquid-y hot and went on about how we would use out liquid-y hot offence on the firelord's forces. I blushed slightly, even though I know it is immature. Just because liquid-y hot sounds vaguely, kinda, sorta ...dirty and sexual.

I mean, really now, if I went up to Zuko and said I wanted to do something liquid-y hot with him, I bet he wouldn't think I meant training. He would probably think something entirely different and then we could go off and do this liquid-y hot activity together and...actually that wouldn't happen. The most likely scenario if I said this to him would be that he would blush and stammer something awkward and it would get weird.

Anyway.

Toph went up near the melon lord and put her hand on the ground and concentrated and a small fountain of something sticky and black and flammable bubbled forth. She coated some boulders with it and Zuko lit a few fires for her around the melon lord and then we were ready. We all assumed our positions and Sokka yelled charge (unnecessarily and with great gusto – I think he has always wanted to yell charge) and we all ran forth.

As weird as it may be to say, at first it was kind of thrilling. Toph's enthusiasm for throwing flaming rocks knew no bounds and she cackled gleefully throughout. Once she nearly hit Sokka and he told her to watch it and she said she was no longer Toph – she was the Melon Lord and we should all fear her mighty power and she could crush us with these mighty powers, bwhahahaha, It's evil melon time mwahahaha etc. I knew the melon power would go to her head! I think she was trying to make it more realistic for Aang who was running along the high part of the lava tunnel to my right.

Anyway, it was well, almost fun – all of us running forward together, dodging Toph's rocks and listening to her mad, but often hilarious, melon lord rantings and fighting back to back with Zuko against all the rock men. I could feel the heat of him right behind me and it made me feel a little braver about tomorrow. We do work well together. I know his bending so well and he seems to know mine. We know each other's strengths, but we also know each other's blind spots and weaknesses and we can both compensate for those and be an all round awesome fighting machine.

I always knew we'd make a good team. We are team liquid-y hot after all...mmmmhhhh.

Oops brain went to a dirty place.

Anyway everything was great and when we got up to where Toph was, she relinquished her Melon Lord powers and nodded at us. Sokka yelled now Aang and Aang lept from the top of the Lava flow with a great hiiiyaa while we all watched in anticipation. However just before Aang landed, his expression changed and he looked so confused. He landed gracefully next to the melon lord. But there was no force in his stance and he held back and didn't strike the melon at all. His glider was hovering just above the melon lord's head. Zuko, beside me, said something about how Aang should take him out now. But Aang looked down and said he couldn't.

Sokka was on his feet first and stalked over to where Aang was. He was a bit irate and asked Aang what was wrong with him, because if this was for real, Aang would be shot full of lightning. We had tried to make the training as realistic as possible, but our melon lord did not shoot lightning. I couldn't help but agree with Sokka's assessment.

I had a feeling something like this might happen. Aang looked remarkably uncomfortable whenever anyone mentions or talks about killing the firelord. I know he feels reluctant to kill anyone, but surely he must see that it is necessary to kill the firelord. If he couldn't even strike a melon in training, what on earth would happen tomorrow? What was worse was that I wouldn't be able to heal Aang this time, so Aang couldn't afford to hesitate when facing the firelord.

Aang took a step back from Sokka nervously and said that he was sorry but it didn't feel right and he didn't feel like himself. This answer did not mollify Sokka any. He quirked an eyebrow and in one swift and smooth movement he drew his sword and sliced the melon (rather brutally) in two without even turning around and said there – that's how it's done firmly. Momo ran forward and started eating the melon enthusiastically while Aang stared at it horrified. I was conflicted. Aang looked so lost and confused, but I also agreed with Sokka. I wanted to go over and comfort Aang but I also wanted to give him a small shake and say for goodness sake, there is no need to look like that – it is only a melon after all! We will see a lot worse tomorrow.

But it's not only a melon, that's the problem. I know it goes against the Air nomad belief system to kill anything, and I knew Aang felt reluctant to kill the firelord, but I always thought he could, when the time came. There is so much a stake here and it is necessary and he is an evil, horrible man and it will most likely be in self defense. I always thought Aang would do it, because he has to. But now I had a sinking feeling in my gut, that tomorrow Aang wont and then...wow, just bad things will happen... I don't even want to think about what will happen. I glanced at Suki and Zuko and they glanced back at me nervously. It looked like we were all thinking along lines. We got up and walked over to Sokka.

I stood next to my brother facing Aangand I asked Aang gently why he didn't feel like himself. I was trying for gentle encouragement because this always works best with Aang. He looked at me hopefully and said that it went against Air nomad teachings to kill things and so he felt like he would be betraying the monks if he killed the firelord tomorrow. A loud sigh was heard behind me, but I'm not sure who it was. Oh boy. What to say? I thought for a second and then I knew.

I crouched in front of Aang so we were eye to eye and said that it wouldn't necessarily be betraying them but Aang disagreed with me. I tried a different tactic and said that Aang has said that he didn't feel like himself...Well Aang was the Avatar. The Avatar was part of him and the Avatar had responsibilities. Aang nodded along, he agreed with me so far. I lowered my voice and put and arm around Aang and said as gently as possible Well Aang, one of those responsibilities is keeping balance right? Aang nodded. And ensuring peace would keep the balance right? I continued in my listen-with-mother-voice andAang nodded again. Well killing the firelord is the only way to ensure peace Aang. It's your duty as the Avatar – By doing it, you wont be any different from who you are now, you will be being yourself. I finished. I thought my reasoning was pretty good and solid. But Aang disagreed and said that wasn't right at all. He shook off my arm and took a step back from me too and looked at me and Sokka with horror.

The way he looked at me kind of hurt my feelings.

Zuko came up and stood next to me and said that I was right. He didn't go for the gentle encouragement approach but just said sternly Look Aang, I know this conflicts with your beliefs, but this is your responsibility. You'll have to do this. We will help you do this. We will be with you every step of the way – Aang interrupted him and said Zuko could do it for him- if he was so keen. Zuko could also redirect lightning, so why couldn't he do it? Why do I always have to do everything around here? Aang asked with some indignation. Zuko made an annoyed growl-y sound and took a deep breath, before saying with a very forced calm I would do this for you if I could, but I can't. Aand wasn't satisfied and said You mean you wont bitterly.

Then Zuko got a bit frustrated and said that his Uncle says the only way for this war to end peacefully was for the Avatar to end it. Royals killing other royals always goes badly. If Zuko did it, it would just start another civil war and there wouldn't be peace in the firenation for a long time and everything would go fruit shaped quickly etc and Aang was meant to ensure peace. Aang opened his mouth to say something else but Zuko cut him off and said I'm not going to do that to my country. It has to be you Aang. It's your fight.

Aang suggested that maybe he could reason with Ozai instead of killing him and then Zuko got shouty. He shouted reason with him! with great indignation and confusion. He said that you couldn't just reason with his father. His father wanted to see the entire world burn. His father was beyond being reasoned with. Aang got shouty back and said that there had to be another way. Suki tried to calm things down and said we should all take a break and then we could talk about this when we had all had a nice soothing cup of tea.

We rode back on Appa in a grumpy silence.

-?-

After a a silent ride back on Appa, we all crowded into the kitchen and watched Zuko make tea while everyone thought of something to say. The silence continued while everyone was crowded into the kitchen, drinking tea and casting sidelong glances at Aang and coughing awkwardly. Aang was looking at me intently. Eventually it was Aang who broke the silence. He started up by saying that he knew what we were all thinking, but he was sure there was another way. Afterall, I had been sure that the man who murdered my mother deserved to die, but in the end I hadn't killed him, so therefore, if Aang decided that Ozai deserved to live, he shouldn't have to kill him either.

I gasped in surprise when Aang said that. I dropped my cup which shattered all over the floor. There was a bit of commotion while I tried to clean it up and Sokka's lifted Toph on to the counter to protect her feet. Zuko and Suki knelt down with me and started picking up the pieces while Aang hovered over and said he was sorry and he hadn't meant to upset me but it was true. I drew a deep breath and counted to ten because I was determined not to loose my cool. I was gripping the porcelain shards too tightly though and I think if I had squeezed any harder I would have cut myself, but Zuko's hand came over mine and he opened up my hand a took the pieces out silently.

Aang just thinks the world is so simple. And he was throwing out what happened when I went after Yon Rha like it was easy for me. It wasn't easy! There was nothing easy or simple about it. I stood up and brushed my hands on my skirt and said as calmly as I could that Aang was wrong and it was a totally different situation. I glanced at Zuko and tried to calm myself and he nodded at me reassuringly. Only Zuko had come with me and knew how hard it had been for me. He'd seen me have my giant cry afterwards and knew how torn I had been. We hadn't really talked about it since it happened, because I really didn't like talking or thinking about it and I was trying to put it behind me, but I knew he understood.

But Aang didn't understand at all and I didn't know how to explain it to him. Just thinking about trying to explain it made me feel very tired.

Aang was saying that we all wanted revenge on the firelord for all the bad things he had done and so to Aang, it wasn't that different (there was a bit of indignant spluttering when Aang said this). Aang explained that I had wanted revenge and in the end, I had shown mercy and Aang thought I had been right to show that guy mercy and Aang was right to want to show the firelord mercy. And that was it for me.

My cool was lost.

Gone.

Kaput!

And I had tried so hard to keep it. I had not gotten shouty once, but right then, I did. I shouted that Aang was being ridiculous and that this wasn't revenge, this was justice and then I stormed off, loudly and with great enthusiasm.

-?-

I was on the beach around the corner. I had made icicles and had thrown them rather vigorously at some rocks until they split and now I was trying to calm myself down. I was trying to see Aang's side of it so I could better understand how to convince him he had to kill Ozai but I kept getting stuck on a cranky and unhelpful loop. I had five questions that kept circling. How could Aang say that about Yon Rha? How could Aang even think of using what had happened with Yon rha as an excuse to shirk his firelord-killing duty. Ozai is the worst person in the world and has caused so much suffering and am I being unreasonably for think he deserves to die? Because seriously now, he is like the gravitational centre of human evil, hell I'm not even sure if he is human and he's caused so much suffering and why can't Aang see that? And why is killing him even a question?

I didn't get much further than this and just sat there staring at the horizon. I'm not sure how long I had been there but the sun had set and the moon had risen by the time Zuko had found me. He sat next to me and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no. So he talked an I listened.

He said that he agreed with me about everything and Aang had no right to bring up what happened with the southern raiders like that. And that made me feel a little better. I asked him what had happened after my dramatic storm out and he told me there had been much shouting, mostly from himself and a bit from Sokka. Now Aang had run away too.

Boo.

Toph went looking for Aang and he had come looking for me and now he had found me. I asked about Suki and Sokka and he said that to the best of his knowledge Sokka was frantically drawing up different plans, just in case Aang chickened out tomorrow and Suki was cooking. I made an aghast face at that last part. But he told me to relax, she was just making fried rice and not even Suki could mess that up.

I got up and brushed the sand off and said that I felt better and we should get back so I could go and "help" with the dinner making process (by help I meant take over). We walked back and I asked what other plans Sokka was coming up with – the firelord was meant to be Aang's fight after all. Zuko shook his head sadly and said it was meant to be Aang's fight, we just had to hope we could make Aang see that. He explained that Sokka was thinking up alternative ways to kill the firelord without any of us having to kill him so to speak. I confessed, very quietly, that I thought, If I had to, I would be able to do it, if they needed somebody to do it. Zuko stopped in surprise.

I told him I had been thinking about it in my time down on the beach, and I thought I could. Do it- that is. I hadn't been able to kill Yon Rha. He'd been so pathetic anyway, and I knew it wasn't what my mother would have wanted for me. However my mother would have wanted an end to the war and killing Ozai would achieve that. It would save the world and I could make peace with that. I think, If I absolutely had to, I could kill someone to save millions. I think I could live with it.

Zuko looked away for a second and said that he didn't think it was a good idea. It was very brave of me to offer, but Aang had to be the one to do it. He told Sokka and Suki the same thing when they offered (so they volunteered as well). If anyone other than Aang did it, it would lead to more bloodshed and none of us wanted that. He explained that the firenation likes scapegoats and if any of us did it, there would be dire consequences for our homelands. We'd be killing the firelord in front of witnesses. There would be repercussions. If we couldn't find his Uncle, then the odds were that Azula would be the next firelord and she wouldn't hesitate to crush either Kyoshi Island or the Southern Water Tribe in retaliation.

Oh.

I tried to sound positive when I said that in that case, we had better try to convince Aang pretty quickly. Zuko asked quietly what I thought we should do if we couldn't convince Aang and I felt really put on the spot. I didn't even know. We were all counting on Aang so much. Everything was at stake here and I was sure that when push came to shove, Aang wouldn't let us down. I told Zuko this but I worry that it sounded like I was trying to convince myself as well.

-?-

When we got back Suki had burned the rice and was trying to "fix" it and Sokka was muttering to himself and scrawling over big sheets of parchment. He had drawn what looked to be a rough outline of a war balloon. Apparent he was trying to figure out where all the weaknesses were and some easy ways to take down the airship fleet - if it came to that and the airship fleet took off before we had a chance to stop them. Toph wasn't back from looking for Aang and so I sent Suki out to help her and took over in the kitchen. I started dicing and chopping. Zuko came over and helped me and soon we had dinner well under way.

Toph stomped in frustrated and huffed against the benches and said she hadn't been able to find him anywhere. Zuko said he was sure Aang would come back in his own time and maybe he just needed a while to think it over and Toph snorted disbelievingly and said to Zuko, look you're new to this, you don't know how often Aang runs away and if we aren't careful he's going to pull another disappearing act again on us!

I told her that of course Aang wouldn't run away. He wouldn't let us down like that after everything. Toph rolled her eyes. Zuko told her that he was really good at tracking Aang and if Aang did run away again, Zuko was sure he'd be able to find him. Toph appeared somewhat mollified by this and offered that she had hidden his glider again this afternoon, just in case, and she had explained the predicament to Appa (who she is sure understands her completely) so even if he did try to run away, he wouldn't get far. Zuko said that's the spirit and gave her a high five.

I wanted to correct them and say that wasn't the spirit. The spirit would be believing in Aang and trusting in him not to run away again, not limiting his running away options. But in light of this afternoon, I didn't quite have the heart to say that.

Toph shushed us and said she felt Aang and Suki coming back and gestured for us to duck down. Toph was a bit incredulous that Suki had found Aang when Toph could not. She kept wondering how Suki did it etc. Because Suki wins at life, I wanted to say, but did not. I just said that maybe Aang was hiding up a tree where Toph could not sense him and she nodded and we all crouched down further for unashamed eavesdropping.

I heard there footsteps come closer and then Aang's lighter tread stopped and he said wait, is everybody else in there? And Suki said she thought so. Aang asked if we were all still mad at him and Suki assured him that no one was mad at him. Aang said that he was pretty sure I would still be mad at him but Suki said that she was sure I wasn't mad at him, I was probably just worried because Aang had worried us all this afternoon...but no one is mad! Suki added quickly and forcefully, probably in a response to a face Aang made. I know that face well. It is a face that inspires the protective motherly instinct in me.

Aang asked quietly what Suki thought...about him having to kill Ozai and... everything. There was a long pause and the sound of clothes rustling and the creaking of floorboards as they both sat down on the verandah. Suki cleared her throat and said Listen Aang, If I could take this responsibility from you – I would. In a heartbeat. I would do it. It's not right and it's not...fair. It's not fair to expect this of a child...But Aang, I know this is a terrible and trite thing to say, but the world isn't fair. There was silence for a few minutes and then Aang said But you're smart, you're smart like Sokka is smart. Can't you think of another way, please, because I don't want to have to kill anyone. There was another pause and it sounded like Aang was crying softly and Suki was hugging him. She said after Aang's sobs had quietened, what all of us knew, (even Aang must have known) would be her answer.

I'm sorry sweetie, I really can't.

-?-

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long and rambly author's notes follow:

hello lovely readers!

I am back and alive and Nepal was great and you have reached the end of liquid-y hot! Big thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! Thanks for all your comments and well wishes – you guys know I love ya! Anyway, did it sound dirty to anyone else when Sokka said liquidy-hot in the show, because it sounded kinda dirty to me and I don't know if that is just because I have a dirty mind or if it was intended that way. In this chapter Team liquid-y hot are united for some liquid-y hot offence and I hope you're enjoying the resumption of canon so far. I've been going off on my own tangent for a while, but now we are back with our regularly scheduled program. So I am trying to flesh out the Sozin's Comet arc and deal with a few plot holes and things that bothered me about the episodes. So this hcap I tackled the planning stages of the attack and everyone's reaction to Aang's initial declaration of his desire to let Ozai live. Naturally YMMV on everything lovely readers.

The Gaang are smart- they are planners. I have a hard time believing they would just 'wing it' in what would be the biggest battle of their lives. I think a great deal of thought went into what was their initial plan. The first part of Sozin's comet has Ozai's Phoenix King shenanigans at the Royal Plaza. I am hypothesizing that the Gaang's initial plan would be to attack him here, when he is standing on the platform. The lava tunnel the practice in could be fanwanked to resemble the royal Plaza. They would be at an advantage because the armed forces are in a narrow tunnel, Katara and Toph have easy access to their elements, they would have the element of surprise and Ozai would be in an exposed position. They would not have to worry about penetrating (what I assume is the heavily fortified) royal palace, which they would have to do if they attacked sooner – nor would they have to worry about fightning in the airships – which only really give Aang an advantage and would rather disadvantage Toph. No matter how awesome she is a metal bending, I don't think the Gaang would deliberately plan to put her at a disadvantage. It is canon that Toph gets very motion sick on most forms of transport where her feet are not on the ground. She doesn't on the airship later, but I'm just going to magically handwave that as adrenaline kicking in.

Attacking the Royal Plaza just makes sense to me, despite the obvious disadvantage of attacking the fire lord in front of the airship fleet. The airship fleet only takes up about a quarter of the royal plaza, so it is clearly not the largest division of the fire nation military. They are clearly planning to concentrate on killing the fire lord and are hoping that after he is dead, there would be a bit of chaos and the airship fleet will be unsure of what do and if push comes to shove they can escape on Appa (Appa moves faster than those ships, especially in these episodes). That is my rough outline of their initial plan (which will soon have cold water poured all over it). They are very sombre when Aang disappears for all the obvious reasons, however I think one of the less obvious reasons could be that by sunset- they know they have missed their window for the current plan. To me it seems that Aang dissapears in the morning and the Phoenix King scene was that afternoon.

I think that Sokka takes over most of the planning because it is his strong point, however Suki is equally as smart and capable (and Aang points this out later). I also think that Zuko would have told Sokka about lightning bending in one of their boy conversations that Katara isn't privy to (they have man-dates in my head canon). Sokka would think that redirecting lightning would be the easiest way to kill the firelord and Zuko would say that Aang wasn't ready to learn it yet, he needed more control etc. But Sokka would have included lightning redirection as part of the plan and after Zuko found out about Aang not being able to go into the Avatar state, he would have moved lightning redirection to top priority and taught it to Aang as soon as possible.

This is my fanwank for why Zuko waits until just before the big battle to teach Aang this invaluable skill when he is going up against a powerful lightning bender. Because seriously – that doesn't make too much sense – it would have been one of the first things I would have taught Aang, had I been Zuko but anyway. Here's the fanwank:

Up until two days ago, Zuko thought that Aang could go into the Avatar state and assumed he would use that to win. He also thought that Aang wasn't ready to learn lightning bending – because it requires a great deal of control with firebending and could have deadly consequences if it is done wrong (Iroh warned Zuko of this when he taught him and Zuko would know how dangerous it was from personal experience against his father) but after all the dramatic reveals, Zuko decides that he has to teach Aang and this is the first opportunity he gets.

Brief note on the lightning redirecting lesson: Zuko mentions that Iroh learned it from watching waterbenders. How did this happen? The firenation are at war with the water tribes. There are no southern waterbenders and the northern water tribe is extremely insular. Unless he learned from imprisoned waterbenders- but that gives me many thoughts, and not all of those thoughts reflect well on Iroh (who I love). Anyone have any theories? Could this be a one-shot fic?

Zuko and Katara work very well as a team, but I also think Toph, Sokka and Suki work well as a team too and deserve some love and kudos. The basic 'teams' for how things are going to go down are already forming. Team liquidy-hot and team wins-at-life (Or maybe I will call them Team-ten-points-for-ravenclaw). What strikes me as a little sad is that Aang, who was always so social – willingly alienates himself from everyone unnecessarily in this first episode.

The Gaang would have stood by him through anything and he really pushes them away in this episode and prefers to be on his own. I mean... maybe it was meant to show that Aang was becoming more grown up and willing to stand on his own two feet etc. and I think Bryke wanted him to be on his own when it came to facing Ozai for story telling purposes and I acknowledge that when Aang is a fully realised Avatar he will have to stand on his own more often than not...However this approach did not make Aang seem more grown up and mature to me. He rejects the people who have always looked out for his best interest because they disagree with him. Anyway there will be more on that in the coming chapters, but it was just something that struck me as sad for Aang, when I think it was meant to show growth instead. But naturally you guys can disagree with me on that.

Anyway on the upside of the teams is we get to see both how well Zuko and Katara work together and how well Sokka and Suki and Toph will work together. Toph and Sokka I think are very protective of each other, and would want to stay together. Toph is conscious of the face that as non-benders both Sokka and Suki are at a disadvantage and she wants to look after them in her Toph way. So during the planning stages, when Zuko was teaching Aang lightning redirecting, she volunteers to go with them, instead of attack as part of a trio of benders with Zuko and Katara. Sokka agrees readily because he also wants to look after Toph. Sokka never forgets that Toph is blind when it counts and I noticed lots of little animation details in the show – he always helps her on and off Appa and covers her head when things are falling (that time he threw the belt at her excepted) and generally plays big brother to her. He wants to protect her too and he reckons that Katara and Zuko will be able to look after each other. Anyway I think that Toph and Sokka have just the loveliest, if subtle, protective relationship, and I wanted to show it some love. Both of them are in it to look after the other – but neither of them will say this to the other (because they know how prideful the other person is). They both, however, tell Katara and she thinks it is adorable.

On Aang and is refusal to kill the Melon Lord: oh lawd, I get it, but it still frustrates me. In canon this is the first time Aang explicitly says he doesn't want to kill the firelord, which strikes me as very unfair to the Gaang (what else did Aang think when they were all talking about defeating the firelord? And he was all willing to go for it on the Day of Black Sun – what changed between then and the finale?) anyway it bugs me. Not so much the sentiment, which I can understand (I am a pacifist after all), but the fact that Aang says it so last minute and really puts everyone on the spot. I mean there aren't many other options and the Gaang know this, hell even Aang knows this. So in my fic, I have had him say much earlier that he didn't want to kill the firelord and to give the Gaang a bit of heads up about what's coming. Because otherwise Aang gets the sad panda face from me about not speaking up sooner and my mind boggles too much thinking about it.

But despite Aang previous stating that he didn't want to kill the firelord, there was always too many other shenanigans going on for the Gaang to deal with it and so this is the first time the Gaang have a go at hashing it out regarding Ozai and what to do with him. Don't worry, we will also hear what Toph thinks next chapter. Anyway, in the show we go from everyone together at the training site to dinner with Aang sitting as far away from the Gaang as possible and this is my take on how we got there.

Everyone tells Aang what they think and he really doesn't like what he hears. I think that Zuko can't always be the bad guy in regards to telling Aang his duty and in the episode it is Sokka who reacts the most at the training site and chops the melon lord's head off – So it's Sokka's turn to step up to the bad cop plate as well. So all the older kids have a go at talking to Aang. Sokka uses blunt logic, Katara uses gentle logic, Zuko harps on about responsibility and gets a bit shouty and Suki tries to calm everyone down and talk simply to Aang.

In a way, I agree with Suki. It is not fair that so much is expected of Aang. He is just so young and knowingly killing someone is a big deal. It is a huge burden to have on your conscience, especially for someone as gentle as Aang. He is young, he is naïve and I do not fault him for being reluctant to kill Ozai. It is not a fair situation at all. However Aang does have a duty as Avatar and no one else can do it for him this time.

I thought a bit about why it HAS to be Aang who does it, because I think all the older kids would be willing to do it – if they had to. I think because the four of them are a little older and a bit more mature, they do not rigidly adhere to a belief system and they understand that sometimes it is necessary to kill an evil dictator to ensure lasting peace. I think that they would be able to make peace with their actions because they would know that it was done to save the world and saving the world is more important.

However I think that there are two problems with this and the first is getting one of them close enough to do it and the second is the repercussions of such actions for their homelands. At this point Zuko doesn't think him becoming firelord is a remote possibility, so he's not going to say – oh just off my dad and then I'll take over and it'll be cool. He knows that next in line after him is Azula and she does not play nice. If either Suki, Sokka or Katara do kill the firelord and then Azula takes over – their homelands are going to be crushed. If Zuko does it, it will most likely result in a violent civil war – and Zuko doesn't want that for his country. He is trying to save his country after all and he thought he was doing that by joining Aang. I don't have Toph included here, because I think that even though she talks a big game, she is not as tough as she appears and she would also be reluctant to actually kill someone and she is also very young. Anyway this is my fanwank for why the older kids can't just kill the firelord for Aang. It's not just that Aang is the Avatar, it is also because he has no homeland that will suffer violent repercussions as a result.

I really thought it was something that Aang just had to do. It was his duty, it was his responsibility and even his own past lives agreed that it had to be done. I thought the storyline would go with Aang embracing the less glamorous aspects of being the avatar and that he would do it, even though he didn't want to, because he was finally accepting and taking his responsibility seriously and growing as an avatar and a person and putting aside his own needs for the greater good.

But that did not happen. (insert grumbling about lion turtles here)

anyway Aang has a few arguments. One: Can't Zuko do it for him (answer: no, as previously covered) and also Aang can't always expect Zuko do the hard stuff for him. Two: Katara didn't kill Yon Rha and he deserved to die. Okay everyone mileage may vary with this and feel free to disagree with me. Aang's not meant to come off like a jerk here, he's just an immature kid who still sees the world in black and white and is uncomfortable with shades of gray. Killing is bad etc. to Aang it is simple: Katara thought Yon Rha was evil and he deserved to die, but in the end she didn't kill him. Everyone thinks Ozai is evil and deserves to be killed by Aang, but Aang doesn't want to – and if Katara didn't kill her evil man, Aang shouldn't have to kill his. And Katara reacts about as well as can be expected.

I'm not trying to hate on Aang, really I'm not. I do like him as a character, but I just find him very immature in these last few episodes (when I had hoped he would show some growth) and I want him to face some consequences (and he will in my post Sozin's Comet Arc, so there will be more on that later – Aang will have to spend some time with Ozai/his decisions). Anyway Suki finds him and brings him back and Aang uses Aang argument three: can't someone, anyone else, think of a way around this? But alas there is no other way and Suki tells him so gently. She also calls him sweetie, a nickname which I know gets a lot of derision because of that comic (I do not speak its name). Anyway I have always thought that sweetie was a more maternal/sisterly term of endearment – so that's how I have Suki use it.

Anyway next chapter Katara will want to see a picture of Zuko before he got his scar (and she will) and Aang will run away for real- oh noes!

Til then lovely readers...