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Love and justice

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I promised I wouldn't leave him, but I had to - just for a few minutes. I went to Appa to get my bag and I had a bit of a look round for the kitchen. The plumbing still worked and I got some fresh water and some bowls and other accoutrements I might need and then I came straight back. I used the clean water to do another healing session – but I was just knackered.

I'd had such a day. I was exhausted physically and emotionally and…. just in every possible way. Sustained healing is quite difficult and tiring. I can heal surface injuries like burns and cuts pretty quickly, but this stuff was deep and complex healing. Yugoda had told me that the healers in the North Pole took turns on more serious cases. They would heal for half an hour each at a time. Anymore was too physically and spiritually and mentally draining. I was already drained enough as it was. But Zuko was in such a bad way and I was the only one here. I wanted to make sure he'd be okay, so I pushed on.

I healed until I could barely keep my eyes open. Then I gave the wound another clean and tried to make up the poultice that Zuko had made when I got bitten by the scorpidillo - the one that was meant to sooth while it fought off infection and drew out bad humors. I remembered it had sun poppies in it. I only had the dried stuff, so I soaked the petals in water before wrapping them up. I tried to bandage him – to help keep the wound clean, but that was really difficult. It was an awkward schmozzle. I had to sit him up to do it and that was tricky. I kept up a steady stream of conversation and gentle admonishments while I did this, could you just try help me a little bit, the things I do for you etc. It made me feel better to talk because I felt like Zuko could still hear me.

He felt so cold. He's never felt this cold before. He's always so warm normally. It worried me. I tried to light a fire in the grate, but I had stupidly not bought any spark rocks. I had always assumed I'd have Zuko to do it for me. When I realized this I had a small frustrated/sad cry. I felt a bit ridiculous for having a cry over such a small thing. I had lit a fire nearly everyday of my life before I had Zuko around, it shouldn't be that big a deal to light one (or not light one in this case) right now. But it was. It really was.

So I did the next best thing. I climbed behind him and wrapped my arms around him while he rested on my chest and I held him close. I tried to warm him up the old fashioned way. That's all I was trying to do, but the smell of his hair was so familiar and overwhelming. I ended up burying my face in his neck and just having a quiet moment.

I was roused not long afterwards by the tapping of a messenger hawk on the window. I didn't want to get up and it got very insistent. It tapped even louder and then it perched just on the sill and screeched at me until I got up and opened the window for it. It had a message from Sokka in its little pouch. Sokka wrote:

Dear Katara + Zuko

How did you guys go with Azula? Where are you now? We are all most eager to know!

We are alive! All is well! Aang came back. Can't get much sense out of Aang when I ask him where he went. Apparently he was kidnapped by a giant turtle. Anyway he was all like avatar slice and now Ozai is like…really weird. Aang says he sucked out his bending so he wouldn't have to kill him. So now me and Suki have to babysit him instead.

Don't even get me started.

Anyway, we managed to destroy most of the airships except the one Suki took over (cool story). Its engine is pretty badly damaged, so we can't take it too far. But I've fixed it up enough so we can fly it to the nearest town and then we'll make a plan from there. Anyway I just wanted you to know we were all alive. I know how you worry.

Just a warning about this bird.

This is the airship's messenger hawk and it is really grumpy – so you might want to give it some biscuits before you send it off so it doesn't try crap in your hair on its way out. (Suki is most displeased). Also, don't tell her I said this, but both of you will need to give Toph a big hug when you see her next because she has had a big fright this afternoon and she's a little anxious.

I'll write more when we find a town.

Love Sokka

P.S. Zuko don't take this the wrong way, but your dad is in-friggin-sane. He's like the craziest person I've ever talked to.

I felt a wave of relief rush over me! I also felt a slight wave of apprehension with regards to the grumpy bird -but that was overshadowed by how much pure, joyous relief I felt that Sokka and the others were all okay. I was so glad to see my brother's loopy handwriting. He writes how he speaks and I just felt so comforted hearing from him. I was worried about Toph. What was her big fright? I could only guess. If Sokka, who is not very touchy feely was advising hugs - it must have been bad.

I was half torn between being ecstatic that Aang had come back and being absolutely furious with him. I do not buy "being kidnapped by a turtle" as an excuse for one stinking minute. As far as I am concerned, nobody gets kidnapped by turtles. Not even Aang. That is just the most ridiculous excuse he's ever come up with. He is going to get such a scolding when I see him next. But I would see him again and that thought fills me with joy. He's alive, he's fine and though I'm cross at him now, I am so glad that I don't know if I'll be able to mad when I see him.

We have all made it, the six of us have made it through the day and I couldn't be happier.

I read Sokka's letter out to Zuko (even though he was unconscious, I thought he would share my enthusiasm for the fact that We Had All Made It!). Then I scooted over to the desk near the bookshelf to write a quick reply. The bird followed me and made a grumpy face at me. I have never previously noticed that messenger hawks do have different faces and personalities. This one had perfected giving people the stink eye.

As soon as it came to writing a reply, I suddenly found I couldn't. I couldn't put what had happened this afternoon into words for my brother. I paused and looked over at Zuko. What could I say? Yes we were both alive, but one of us nearly wasn't? I have also had a huge fright today and I need a hug too? It was awful and terrible and horrible and I'm glad it's over?

I ended up writing a very short note that said:

Dear Sokka

We are also alive, but Zuko has been badly hurt. I'm doing my best for him and he's sleeping right now, so don't worry. We are at Zuko's old house at the moment. We won our fight with Azula and stopped her being coronated. Tell Aang that he will have to come up with a better excuse than turtlenapping and that I am very cross at him right now.

But I am so very glad that you all are okay!

Love you,

Katara.

I wrote just to Sokka, but I was sure he'd pass my message on. Then I rummaged around in the bag for a snack for the bird, which it gobbled greedily before it flew off with my reply.

-?-

The next letter came from Uncle Iroh, a little bit later. Another messenger hawk – but a less disgruntled one – even though it had flown much further. It perched gracefully on the window sill and proffered the letter for me. I had half been expecting to hear from Uncle after Sokka's message. I imagined that Uncle would also want to know how we were doing. But oh how I was dreading having to write a response. I didn't know how to tell him what had happened. The letter was addressed to Zuko. I climbed back in the bed with him and asked him (pointlessly) if he would mind if I read it. I didn't think he would, so I popped the seal and read it out to him.

Dear Nephew.

I cannot tell you how beautiful the Ba Sing Se looks right now as I write this. I am in the old Palace at the moment and I have a view all the way down to the start of the middle ring. I like to fool myself into thinking I can see the Jasmine Dragon from here. I have already availed myself of several of the Earth kings teas and instructed the servants here how to brew it precisely (the first time they used boiling water when everybody knows that burns the flavour out of a white tea.) I am perfectly fine and the rest of the White Lotus society are well. We have been extraordinarily successful today and there have been no casualties amongst our order, only a few minor injuries. We have been victorious and Ba Sing Se has been reconquered for the earth kingdom.

Tell me how you went this afternoon against Azula? I am sure you did well, but if you could send some details - it will make a few matters easier. There are many things we will need to sort out, but that can wait for later when we see each other next. Some things are better discussed in person. Where are you now? Is it possible for you to join me here post haste? Is the bison up for another long flight?

Also Master Pakku wishes to send the warmest greetings and well wishes to his delightful granddaughter –So pass that on to miss Katara.

Write back immediately – you know how I worry.

Uncle.

I didn't even know how to frame a response. I hated having to be the one to tell Uncle Iroh this. What I had to say was the worst sort of news to give someone, especially in a letter. I went to the desk and just stared at some paper for a few long minutes before I wrote a quick response.

Dear Uncle Iroh,

I hope you don't mind, but I read your letter to Zuko. He can't reply right now because he has been hurt. He and Azula fought an Agni Kai, during which he was struck by her lightning. He is alive and in a stable condition. I've taken him to his old house and made him comfortable and I am doing everything for him that I can. He's unconscious right now, but I hope he'll wake soon. However, I don't think we are able to come meet you in Ba Sing Se.

Sincerely

Katara

I sent it off with a heavy heart and returned to my regular spot next to Zuko. I settled beside him for the rest of the night. The bed was enormous, big enough for five people nearly – let alone two of us. I dozed in and out of sleep during the night. Because I'm a huge worrier I frequently woke up and checked his breathing and his pulse and his temperature.

His temperature was going all over the place. He'd been really cold earlier but now he felt feverish. When he felt too hot to me, I made little ice cubes from the water and rubbed them on his neck and head. I knew he liked that when he was feverish back at the Western Air Temple. He kept trying to roll over onto his stomach, which was the worst position for him. I ended up flopping my arm over his shoulders to keep him lying flat. I wanted to be close to him and I reasoned that this made the most sense. If he tried to roll over, it would wake me and I could keep him still. But he didn't. He slept soundly after that, and at some point – so did I.

-?-

I woke up late in the morning. I got a bit frantic at the start and checked Zuko immediately. His condition hadn't really changed. He was still sleeping – that was unheard of for Zuko at this point in the day. I thought about how he'd joked yesterday. He'd said that as soon as the war was over, he was going to take up napping during the day. We'd laughed about it yesterday. It had seemed so ridiculous then. I got worried and tried to wake him, but he couldn't be roused. He was completely unconscious.

When Aang was in a coma and I couldn't wake him up, I had gotten heaps of advice from my dad, which I had very begrudgingly accepted because I had been quite mad at him then. But he knew what he was talking about. Being our chief and in charge of all the missions when all the men left meant my dad had a lot of responsibility. He knew a fair bit about first aid and battlefield medicine. I also corresponded with Yugoda a fair bit. She sent me lots of suggestions, but none of them really worked. However they both did say that most people recover much better and quicker with their loved ones around them, especially if their loved ones talk to them. I'd talked to Aang every evening while he was in a coma but I don't know if this helped him wake up quicker or not.

I knew Zuko was worried about being abandoned, so I made sure he could almost always hear my voice. So I talked in a steady monologue until I didn't have much more to say. When I got tired of that I sang for a bit. When I ran out of words and songs, I had a rummage around on book shelf on the far side of the room near the desk. It had a copy of love amongst the dragons. I remembered Zuko saying something - oh it seemed like forever ago now- back at the beach house when I had been teasing him over being a such a big fan – he said when he was sick as a kid, his mum would read it to him and it always made him feel home and safe. If I couldn't make him feel better, I would settle for home and safe.

-?-

The day fell into steady a routine. I had some of yesterday's lunch for breakfast. I opened Zuko's mouth gently and tried waterbending small amounts of water down his throat. This was exceptionally tricky and time consuming, but he needed to be hydrated somehow and I could do it. I healed for half an hour stretches at a time and then rested for two hours. When I wasn't healing, I was talking to him or reading to him or singing to him. I cleaned and re-bandaged the wound around midday. Sometimes I just sat with him and didn't say anything much, but I'd just stroke his hair and hold him close like some soppy, silly, lovesick flibbertigget. I felt a bit ridiculous, but I couldn't help myself.

I'd frequently try to wake him and offered many different incentives. Wake up now and I'll never nag you about fireflakes again etc. I'd call him an idiot (affectionately) for jumping in front of lightning and scold him for his idiocy and for making me worry so much. You should be ashamed of yourself, making me worry like this etc. I'd sincerely tell him that he had to get better soon because I missed talking to him already. There was so much we had to do. So many things we hadn't done together. So many teas we hadn't drunk together. So many conversations we hadn't had. So many things I wanted to gently tease him about. There was just so much future for us. All he had to do was wake up. Once his eyelids fluttered and I thought he was waking up and I got really excited. But he didn't. It was just a one-off eyelid flutter.

I felt so ridiculously disappointed that I had another small cry.

I felt so alone. I was on my own in a foreign city. I just didn't know what to do. He was just lying there unconscious and I could do nothing but worry and fret and heal as best I could. Zuko was here but he wasn't trying to comfort me. He always tried to make me feel better when I was upset.

I thought about how much I loved him… and how I didn't even know how much I loved him until I nearly lost him. How had Zuko, of all people, become this person for me? He drove me so crazy. He meant so much to me. I wasn't even sure how it happened. It was like he'd crept into my heart when I wasn't paying attention and now I'd never get rid of him. Didn't even want to.

-?-

Later that afternoon, I was lying next to Zuko, occasionally poking him and reading chapter four of the book out loud when I heard the most tremendous crashing noise outside. I was instantly on my feet and alert. I jumped up to look out the window and I could make out a figure in the garden. I acted before I thought. I bent all the water out of the pond (startling the turtleducks) to freeze the intruder against a tree. We were in enemy territory after all! I wasn't taking any chances. Especially not with Zuko so sick.

How was I to know it would be Uncle Iroh?

When I had thought he was an intruder, I had throw him against the tree with err…a great deal of force. He said Ow that really hurt my tailbone! This prompted many apologies from me. I ran out of the house and over to the tree to unfreeze him as soon as I realized it was him. He was surprisingly cool about it. (cool geddit). He said he was glad Zuko had someone like me looking out for him and what was getting a little frozen in comparison? He told me he hadn't meant to frighten me, but he had come as soon as he had received my messenger hawk last night. He'd borrowed one of those Giant Eel hounds from the Order. He gestured at it. This one is called Boris. Boris and Doris? How do they name these animals? Our small talk was pretty quick and to the point. Iroh was pretty keen to see Zuko and I was pretty keen to get back to him.

As soon as I showed Iroh through the door of the bedroom, he ran over to Zuko's side quicker than I thought he could move. Very tenderly, Uncle Iroh brushed some hair out of Zuko's face and said Zuko? It's Uncle. Can you hear me? Zuko lay still and didn't respond. Uncle's face contorted then. There was so much sadness in his face. It was like there was this ocean of grief just lapping below the surface. I thought I was intruding just observing so much emotion. You know when you get a piece of paper and you scrunch it up and then smooth it out again? There are still deep lines and crinkles. They'll never go away. No matter how you try to flatten the page, those lines will still be there. Iroh's face looked like a piece of paper than had been scrunched right then.

He very tentatively asked me, almost like he was afraid of the answer, if Zuko was going to be alright. I said I hoped so. I was doing everything possible. Everything I could think of. His heartbeat and breathing were fine, and the wound was healing slowly (very slowly). I just hadn't been able to get him to wake up this morning. Iroh nodded and sat on the bed and just watched Zuko with the saddest expression on his face. I felt I should say something else so I offered he was very brave in what I hoped was a comforting tone of voice. Iroh sighed and said he's always been brave. That's never been his problem.

No, he was right. Being brave wasn't ever Zuko's problem.

I felt a bit weird assuming my regular (slightly snuggly) position next to Zuko in front of Uncle. So I pulled up a chair and sat across from him instead. He had huge bags under his eyes and seemed exhausted. He must have ridden all through the night. He seemed smaller now, somehow, than he seemed yesterday back at the camp. Just quietly, I was glad Iroh was here. I love Zuko, but the burden of being the only one here to help him was heavy. I was paranoid about leaving him even for a second. I didn't want him to wake up on his own. Now that there was a second person here who I could trust, one of us could always be with him.

Also I hadn't done anything about Azula or the firesages or any of that stuff. It had seemed so irrelevant yesterday after Zuko got shot. Everything seemed so trivial in comparison. But it was why we had come in the first place. There was so much firenationy-political stuff that I didn't know anything about, like Agni Kais and what happened now. But Iroh knew and I was glad he was here now to deal with that stuff.

After a long interlude, during which he just held Zuko's hand and seemed lost in thought, I asked him what should happen now. The Airship fleet had been stopped (I told him about getting Sokka's note) and Ba Sing Se had been liberated. Should we do something here about the firelord situation? Also we needed to do something about the Azula situation. As far as I knew she was still tied to the storm water drain. She would have been there on her own- all night and all day today. I didn't want to think to hard on what being tied up like that would do to her…delicate mental state. Someone should go see if she was alright (by someone I meant someone other than me – I did not think I would be Azula's favourite person right now).

These practicalities seemed to shake Iroh out of his thoughts and he said I was quite right. There were things that needed to be done. First he asked me to tell him what had happened. He needed to know the details. I had said they had fought an Agni Kai in my letter– did I know if it was an official binding one? Were the firesages present throughout? Etc. I explained, hesitantly at the start, but then Uncle had this way about him that made me feel comfortable and I ended up telling him almost everything.

Oh but it was dreadful recounting it. Yesterday afternoon had been the most horrid afternoon of my life and I didn't want to think on it ever again. I didn't want to think about how helpless and hopeless I felt. How scared I'd been. Iroh was a good listener. He occasionally interjected a question, or had a point he wanted clarified – but mostly he just listened. His mouth set with concern when I described Azula's condition and widened with distress when I explained how Zuko came to be shot. The one thing I left out was the bloodbending. I said I just used my waterbending healing. I wasn't ready to talk about the bloodbending yet.

After I'd finished my tale, Iroh thanked me sincerely and took deep breath to collect himself. He said he would be back as soon as possible and then he stood. He paused and then gave me the bow of deepest respect. I was taken aback to be getting the bow of deepest respect from such a well renowned person. Iroh turned to leave but his eyes focused on Zuko for a long second before he added take care of him for me quietly, before he turned to go.

-?-

He came back a few hours later with three girls in tow and much news for me. A shy looking, dirty haired lass peered around from behind Uncle. Behind her it looked like two other girls lurked silently. Iroh introduced them, but I forget their names now. He had found them, hiding in the dungeons at the palace, huddled together and crying. I have a sense that Uncle Iroh is like me and he simply cannot leave people when he can help them. Especially when they are crying.

These girls had been most afraid of Azula. She had banished them all. But none of them had anywhere else to go. The palace was their home. When they pointed this out, Azula had them thrown in the dungeons for insolence instead of banishing them. And there they had remained until Iroh found them. He actually went down there to check out the cells and make one acceptable for Azula (for temporary lodgings). It is weird how the world works sometimes.

Iroh had coaxed them out and said that because they had sworn allegiance to the royal family, they could consider themselves under his employ and his protection. They would not have to leave the palace and could still consider it their home and Azula would not trouble them anymore. There is something about Uncle Iroh that makes people want to follow him and listen to him and these girls were no different. They had followed him here determined to help him. They all seemed incredibly shy around me and would not meet my eyes. They blushed and giggled when I introduced myself.

The dirty-haired one was called Lenka (I think – she mumbled her name while staring at her feet) and she had been the second housemaid. This seemed to give her some authority over the others. She told one of them to go 'see to' the other rooms and the other to start lighting fires (now I felt really silly over my fire-related cry, but thankfully no one else had seen that). Lenka had put herself in charge of the kitchen and she asked me very politely and hesitantly if I was hungry and if I wanted her to prepare me anything. I hadn't eaten since breakfast and I was famished. But I only just realized it now that she mentioned it. She asked me what I wanted and I just said whatever was quickest and easiest to make up. She scuttled off with a Yes Milday.

She came back a few minutes later with some piping hot dumplings and some fireflakes (gah I still can't eat them plain – but Iroh seemed to enjoy them). She kept bowing and milady-ing me the whole time she was talking to me, which was a bit distracting, but it was so enjoyable to eat something I hadn't cooked myself. I feel it is worth putting up with all the milady-ing for that.

Iroh came over and sat in the chair and explained what he had been up to for the last few hours. He had eventually found the firesages and they had concurred with my story. Because Azula fired at an observer – me- she forfeited the Agni Kai. Essentially she had lost and Zuko had won. Though Iroh thought that even if this had not been the case, the firesages would prefer Zuko as firelord and would be prepared to swear til they were blue in the face that Zuko had rightfully won.

Azula had a delicate (here he searched for the right word and eventually settled on) condition. This condition made her rather ill suited to being firelord. During her few days as regent she had successfully banished nearly everyone from the caldera and alienated many of the wealthy families, because she had what the firesages described as a 'confiscating spree'. Basically she just rocked up at people's houses and took their priceless artifacts and generally freaked people out. There was now a huge pile of just…stuff…in Azula's room at the palace that somebody (presumably Iroh) is going to have to sort through.

All of this would make Zuko's claim to the throne much more weighty and legitimate. The thought seemed to please Iroh. I didn't know if now was the time to say anything, but I spoke up anyway. I told him that Zuko and I had talked about it on the way here and he really didn't fancy being firelord right now. Iroh sighed and then smiled at Zuko and said he'll come around… he always does with pride. I said that we both thought Iroh would be better off being firelord, but Iroh shrugged and said my dear somethings are just not meant to be. That seemed to be the end of the subject. I felt like I should argue, but this would have to be something that Zuko and Iroh worked out between them, so I didn't say anything further.

Iroh told me that he had found a few more people besides our three maids and the firesages. He had found Dr Yang, the royal physican. Azula had in fact banished her, but she had refused to leave her patients. Remarkably, after a brief moment of thought, Azula had pronounced her unbanished and told her she could stay. She was on her way to us right now but first she needed to gather up the necessary supplies. I felt a wave of relief that some other medical professional is coming to help me.

Iroh had also found some of the caldera city guards, who had managed to be on patrol down near the entrance to the harbor and had escaped Azula's noticed (and thus inevitable banishment). When they had returned to their barracks, they had found the city deserted. They had seen the hordes of the banished leaving the city but they had not been banished themselves. They had been a bit unsure of what to do, and had continued to patrol the empty city – a little pointlessly if you ask me. But they had seen Iroh during this patrolling so I guess it came to something in the end. They followed him while he went about his various errands and asked him to give them orders.

I guess people who are prone to getting ordered about just like to have someone else, anyone else, make the decisions for them. Two of them were actually young initiates into the order of the White Lotus. Iroh knew them well enough and trusted them enough to put them on Azula guarding duty. Oh boy, I bet they regretted asking for orders after that.

Iroh twirled his hands a little distractedly. This was the first time he had seemed a little awkward. Everything else he had said so simply and matter-of-factly. But now he looked a little uncertain. He said as you have probably gathered, my neice is …unwell. He was right, I had gathered that. Iroh had seen her and there had been a scene. He didn't elaborate on what this scene was, but I could hazard a guess it had been unpleasant. He thought that the best thing to do for her was to untie her from the drain and move her to a secure location. He had made one of the cells comfortable for her. And the guards had agreed to watch her around the clock. She was a danger to herself and to others and would need to be watched the whole time. I agreed with all of this. I told him it sounded like a good plan to me. I didn't see what the problem was.

He coughed and said that they had come across a small snag. They had not been able to untie Azula. They couldn't undo the watertribe knots. After some manly deliberating, they had decided to cut the chains with firebending. As soon as Azula saw them coming to her with fire- she had flipped the hell out. Well Iroh delicately described it as having a violent episode. Whenever they had tried to cut her free again, she had reacted the same way. She had accidentally been burned by one of the guards twice because she thrashed so terribly when they tried to cut the chains. They did not want to hurt her further and so they desisted in their attempts to cut her free. One of the guards had suggested that I be brought in to untie her – seen as though I was the one who tied her up in the first place.

That sentence hung in the air for a second. I will admit that my first thought was to say no way. I did not want to go anywhere near that crazy, violent girl for the rest of my life. After what she did the Zuko? She was lucky I hadn't clawed her face off yesterday. She was just nuts. She tried to kill me. I would not help her. That was my knee jerk reaction. I knew it was unkind, but I couldn't help it.

Then other thoughts crowded in. I remembered how disappointed she looked when Zuko said Mum's not here. She'd been locked up all day. She'd been burned inadvertently. It would only take me a few seconds to untie her – whereas it sounded like all these firenation menfolk were hopeless. She'd seemed so pathetic yesterday in defeat. I'd felt sorry for her then.

Zuko would want me to.

I looked over at him. I didn't want to leave him alone. I'd promised him I would stay. Iroh seemed to sense the main reason for my reluctance. He offered that he'd stay with him and it was his turn to look after Zuko. So before I knew it, I found myself nodding and agreeing and getting instructions.

Once more to the Coronation Plaza.

-?-

There were six men dressed in military uniforms all hovering a fair way away from Azula "conferring amongst themselves". In reality I think they were just terrified of going near her. Suki has a theory. She says that most men on Kyoshi are petrified of crying women. They don't know what to do or what to say. They get very sure that they are about to be yelled at. So they get weird and go off and find something manly to do and try to just avoid the cavalcade of emotions pouring forth from the lady in question. This same phenomenon occurs in the watertribes. Judging from the wide berth the menfolk were giving Azula, this same principle works in the firenation.

She was hollering loudly, just for the sake of it I guess. She continued to make this dreadful caterwhauling throughout the following conversation. One of the guards looked up and saw me, pure relief written on his face. He came over and asked if I was the healer that General Iroh talked about. I asked him the question that Uncle Iroh had told me (a safety precaution to ensure the guard's identity – Iroh was a just-in-case kind of guy). The guard responded properly. He introduced himself. His name was Kal and he was currently the highest ranking home guard member – so he was in charge.

He explained to me what I already knew. General Iroh had prepared one of the dungeon cells for Azula for her temporary accommodation, the home guard were meant to escort her (one of the other guards held up some handcuffs and waggled them in demonstration). They had tried cutting through the metal with fire..but err she really didn't like that he said and nodded at Azula, who took this opportunity to thrash about and holler even more loudly. They believed that if I could just undo the knots, it would be the easiest solution. However if I could not, they would explore other options. I told him that I would do my best.

I wanted to get this done quickly so I squared my shoulders and I started to walk over to Azula, but she began struggling even more and shrieked get away from me with a great deal of distress. She could only scramble away from me so far. The chains held her fast. She seemed to slump in defeat…and possibly exhaustion. She had been screaming and carrying on a fair bit – had she been doing this all day? She asked bitterly if I was here to finish the job. I was a little put out. Yes, I know that yesterday I hated her and had fought against her, but I am not as cruel as that. I told her that I was actually here to help her. She snorted in a most unbecoming fashion to indicate her disbelief. I told her I was just as surprised as she was.

I approached her slowly, but she started really freaking out. She kicked at me and swore at me and screamed at me and it was all very dramatic. I got a bit fed up with her. I didn't want to do it, to use bending against an incapacitated opponent, but in the end I felt that the easiest solution was to just immobilize her in the ice again. I bent a block up to her shoulders, to hold her in place. Azula began to cry when I did that. Not the violent, thrashing wailing of the past fifteen minutes, but a high pitched wail. It was exceptionally ear-piercing and annoying.

I walked around behind her and started fussing with the knots. She had pulled them really taut in her struggling and it was much harder to untie them than I was expecting. They'd dug into her wrists terribly from how much she had strained against them. Now her wrists were mottled with bruises. I could see where she'd been burnt further up her forearms. I tutted softly and disapprovingly at the sight.

If only she could just calm down and let people help her. She was acting like we all wanted to kill her or something and she was making this so much more difficult that it had to be. I wanted to get her out of these quickly. She had been my enemy for so long, but I didn't want her to suffer unnecessarily. I felt a little bad about leaving her locked here for a full day. I didn't see what else I could have done. Really it was the only option for me yesterday, but still.

She was squirming something dreadful even despite the fact that I had frozen her in the ice. She was being as difficult and unhelpful as a person could be. The guards all looked on anxiously. I could see why they were anxious. She was nuts and as soon as I got her out of these – she'd be their problem, not mine. I wanted to say oh for goodness sake, just pull yourself together! But that wasn't an option for her, I could tell. It wasn't as simple as that. If she could do it, if she could just pull herself together and act rationally – she would. But it was like the floodgates to this veritable torrent of emotions had been opened inside her and now it was all spilling out uncontrollably.

She stopped screaming for no apparent reason that I could fathom and asked peasant? by which I assumed she meant me. She didn't say it meanly though, which was a surprise in itself. She said it like she honestly thought peasant was my name. I said yes a little stroppily, as my nerves where frazzled by the dreadful racket she'd been making just seconds before. She said softly and with some hesitation Where's Zuzu peasant? I was rather taken aback. I would have never expected her to ask about Zuko in that tone, especially after yesterday. But she asked quietly but insistently. She asked like she really cared. Maybe she did. I'd never understand her.

I ended up saying that he was sleeping, and if she didn't stop her terrible caterwhauling, she was going to wake him up. This is actually very unlikely, but I just wanted the noise to stop. Unfortunately my words had the opposite affect to the one I had anticipated. Azula started crying in earnest. Not the hysterical crying, not the dreadful high pitched keening. It was a gentler sort of crying. A sad, defeated weeping.

I bit back the impatient Oh what now? that sprang to my lips. I don't want to sound callous, but I really just wanted to untie these knots and get back to Zuko. I didn't really have time for this. But because I am a giant sap and I just can't leave someone crying like that, I tried to comfort her and said the various soothing things. I told her everything was alright and she didn't need to cry, but she vehemently disagreed with me. She shook her head and said it wasn't alright at all. She said with a heavy sort of dread I know what that means. When someone is sleeping. I know what that means. I told her (logically) it meant that they were asleep, but she disagreed again. Mother is sleeping, Lu Ten is sleeping and now Zuzu is sleeping. I felt this sadness she was expressing at the thought of killing Zuko would have been much more helpful had she expressed it earlier…and preferably not shot Zuko yesterday. But that is just me.

I couldn't help but snap No, he actually is sleeping, you mad harpy. I told her to hold still but it was unnecessary. I had shocked her into stillness with my words. These few moments of stunned immobility helped me remarkably and the chains dropped off. She was still in the ice, but she was untied. I gestured at two of the guards with the handcuffs to come closer. They had decided to handcuff her arms to two separate guards, as this would make it much harder for her to run away or bend properly. Azula paid them no mind, she kept trying to crane her head to look at me. She asked he's alive? I told her he was. Her eyes widened in surprise and she was silent (oh blessed, glorious silence). I unfroze one arm and moved it through to ice and around to one of the guards. He attached his wrist to Azula's, looking grim faced. I did the same for the other arm.

I felt like I should offer some explanation, some reassurance. I don't even know why I felt the urge to explain anything to Azula or reassure her, but I did. I told her the guards were there to help her and would be looking after her from here on out. I couldn't help the motherly scolding tone that crept into my voice when I added they don't want any naughty behavior, so even though I know you are psychotic- can you at least make an effort? To my surprise she didn't struggle or anything. She just nodded. She stopped screaming and wailing and was actually what passes for co-operative (for Azula). Both the guards looked exceptionally nervous at being chained to her, but they gritted their teeth and got on with it. One of them was very gentle with her as he helped her up.

The guards nodded in thanks at me and gave me a small salute and they started to leave. I watched them for a few moments before I heard myself call out for them to wait. I didn't even know why I was doing this. I had obviously gone mad. Maybe whatever is wrong with Azula is catching – because what I wanted to do was just plain old crazy. But I did it anyway.

I walked over to Azula and she regarded me curiously. I told the guards I just wanted to heal her arms before they took her away and they nodded and stood still. I unplugged my water skin and in a few moments I had healed her burns and her wrists. She looked down each wrist and then back at me in pure astonishment. Her hair was hanging all bedraggled in her face. It really bothered me. I have no idea why.

She had been such a fearsome enemy and now she was reduced to this and I just couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I felt like she looked crazier with her hair like that. Her hair used to be quite pretty. She'd always looked so well groomed. She obviously had taken pride in it at one point.

I have absolutely no explanation for why I did this, but I reached into my pocket and got out a few of the clips I always have in there. My hair had been a bit unmanageable in the firenation humidity and I've normally had a collection of pins in my pocket to help tame it and to secure the little topknot I've been wearing. I took two of these pins and used them to just clip her hair back off her face. When I reached for her, she flinched away, but I persisted. She looked a little less crazy with it pinned back. I ended up smoothing it a little and saying with false positivity There now – all better. But that's a lie. It wasn't all better at all. Not for Azula. But it seemed like the least I could do. It's a small gesture, it's nothing really.

Azula looked at me like I was the weirdest person she had ever come across. Like I was an oddity in a museum and she didn't know what to make of me. She tilted her head and said you are a very strange peasant with some incredulity.I agreed that I was, then I stepped out of the way so the guards could take her onwards. I must be at least a little strange – to feel this sorry for Azula. There is definitely something wrong with me. She turned to look at me while the guards were escorting her out and she caught my eye. I gave her a small wave in farewell. The head guard, Kal, turned when they got to the gate and gave me a final salute and then they were gone.

-?-

As I was walking back I had a bit of a think and this is what I decided. I used to think someone had to beg my forgiveness to earn it. Azula hasn't said sorry, she may never say sorry. But I don't feel angry with her. I know that this feeling would be totally different if Zuko had died, I'd probably want to just murder her. But now, looking at her, I can let all my anger at her go. I thought she was so scary, but really, she's just a sad, mad, scared little girl. And she is so alone right now.

Her world has shifted again, and it will never be the same. It will be harder for her to adjust to life without the war, because she never really had anything outside the war. I have wonderful friends and family and a home. I am able-bodied, I have two strong hands which I can use to fight and to heal. I am in my right mind. What does Azula have? She might be royalty while I'm what she refers to as a peasant. She might have been a child prodigy whereas this time last year I had no waterbending instruction at all. She might have had everything go her way until now - but there's not a thing of hers I need. There's nothing of hers I want.

I don't envy her, I pity her.

I just felt this light feeling come over me. I don't need to be angry and I don't want to hurt her in her current, poor, mad, crazy state. Maybe I could forgive her, now that she was my vanquished foe instead of my powerful enemy. And so I think I did in that moment.

I can say that real forgiveness is hard. It's not easy, and I think it doesn't count if it's easy. It's the hardest thing. Aang said that forgiveness is where love and justice finally meet. I think Aang was just saying that because it was what the monks told him. I don't think he really understands this feeling. He wouldn't talk about forgiveness the way he did, if he really understood this feeling. Aang thinks you can just say I forgive you and everything is better. You can't. Life doesn't work that way. The world is not so simple. That's not real forgiveness. Real forgiveness – where love and justice meet forgiveness- is such a powerful and freeing feeling. Forgiveness is not something you can do lightly or insincerely. You can't fake it. You have to feel it deep in your heart.

-?-

The usual blathering Author's note:

Lovely wonderful readers! A giant and huge and enormous thank you to my wonderful reviewers! You guys are awesome and your reviews make me so happy. So thanks a million! I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the last chapter!

I hope you enjoyed this one too, even though there is not as much Zuko/Katara interaction (on account of him being unconscious) and it is more plot-hole-filly. In the show – we cut away from the Agni Kai scene and then voila Zuko is coronated in pretty much the next one. What happened in between? I am sure shenanigans of some description went on. Anyway I'll be exploring the post-battle/pre-coronation interlude for the next few chapters so get ready for that!

So Zuko was unconscious for all this chapter. He will wake up in the next one I promise. But if Aang got to coma it up for five weeks, I think we can all grant Zuko a day or two at least. Katara can't just bloodbend heal him completely better (in fact even in canon, he's still in a bit of pain on the day of the coronation and is struggling to get dressed.) I actually think bloodbending healing would have some very clear limitations and even if she wanted to, she wouldn't be able to use it all the time. It would need either a full moon or super-duper strong emotions to fuel it and it is exceptionally physically and emotionally draining. But she would use all her other healing as best she could.

I think the firenation military seem to use messenger hawks to communicate and there is a great deal of communication/co-ordination (as well as bitching) that goes on between the various branches of the military and even the various ships. It makes sense to me that each airship would have its own messenger hawk, especially because each naval ship appears to have its own hawk eg the captain in the awakening "would it be too much to ask that he send us a hawk to let us know". So if there is a messenger hawk on board the airship that Suki takes over – then I think Sokka would definitely use it to let his sister know that everyone was okay. Sokka knows Katara and knows how she worries – he would send her a hawk.

Suki takes over an airship, but I am assuming it is a damaged one as Sokka crashes into all the airships with his 'airship slice'. It cannot be flown very far. They are at an advantage because Aang has returned and can use his firebending to help power the airship – but they will still land at the nearest possible town. How the gang actually feel about Aang disappearing and his desire to keep Ozai alive and the fact that they are saddled with Ozai as their prisoner will be explored next chapter.

I think the Order of the White Lotus would also have a few messenger hawks around – how else do they stay in contact. Actually how do they stay in contact with Pakku? Anyway, Iroh would obviously want to know how his nephew went and would also send a hawk as soon as possible. Also I have no idea how these messenger hawks work or are trained . It hurts my brain to think of it. So I have simply assumed they are like owls in harry potter. Just go with it my lovelies!

I can get my head around Iroh not wanting to be firelord, but I will never in a million years think that Iroh would just leave Zuko and stay in Ba Sing Se after Sozin's comet. No, just no. That is not how Iroh rolls. Iroh followed Zuko all across the earth kingdom when Zuko was in his angsty!rage! mode – just on the off chance he might be needed. That same man would not then turn around and say oh my nephew's been shot with lightning and is critically injured. Meh, I'd rather stay here and drink tea. No one loves tea that much, not even Iroh. That's a big call I know – Iroh does love tea a lot. But he does not love tea more than he loves Zuko, in my opinion.

Iroh would have gotten Katara's letter and freaked (in his Iroh way) and grabbed the nearest Giant Eel Hound (the order has several and all their names end in oris) and set off at top speed. Iroh has already lost a child. I think that is easy to overlook because he's so jolly all the time – but there is a lot of sadness and grief in Iroh about losing Lu Ten. Iroh has come to see Zuko like a second son and I just think he would want to be there.

I thought a bit about Katara and what she'd do in the firenation post the comet battle. I think she'd make Zuko her absolute number one priority and wouldn't care that much about all that other firenationy stuff, or Azula all that much. I think that she doesn't actually know anything about firenation politics etc and is an outsider there and so this is the best course of action for her. Having Iroh around in the firenation capital post-comet means I can happily go about filling the plot holes that bother me with a giant shovel. I just tell myself that Iroh sorted it. Because seriously, neither Zuko or Katara are in a position to sort any of that stuff right now.

I think that Iroh would still command a great deal of respect. It was only six years ago that he was one of the most well respected generals ever. He is a member of the Royal Family and he is an all round nice guy. I think there would be a great deal of chaos during and in the aftermath of Azula's short time as Regent. In situations of great confusion, it is easy for a charismatic leader to step forward and attract a following. I think Iroh would very easily fall into the role of Regent while Zuko is out of commission.

When Iroh goes out, he finds a few people: some servants, the royal physician, the guards and the firesages. There are more people in the caldera, but they are in hiding – and they will come later. Also the other families who were banished will start returning from harbour city. He found servants because I think there would still be a few of those around the place. Either hiding or in the dungeons. The serving girls are a bit shy and giggly around Katara because they have never seen a water tribe person before. But I wanted someone to cook and clean for her and to take a load off her shoulders, so voila – Iroh found some servants. He has also found the royal physician and we will meet her properly next chapter. Katara will have to share her patient with the royal physician. Katara's not big on sharing Zuko.

Iroh found the firesages to confirm Katara's story and also to secure Zuko's position as firelord. The firesages have (off screen) sworn their allegiance to Iroh/Zuko. I actually think that Azula is very friendless at the moment. Who is going to stand with her when she has alienated, imprisoned or banished all her allies? She has shown herself to be mentally unstable and unfit for the role of firelord. Even the most loyal Ozai-ist would probably be a bit reluctant to throw their lot in with Azula. Anyone with two IQ points to rub together could see that she is unsuitable as firelord. The firesages have more than two IQ points between them. Even if Zuko hadn't won, I think the firesages would be willing to say that he had - to avoid the fate of having to serve under Firelord Azula. It is true that sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don't – but for the firesages the devil they know (Azula) is so friggin insane and scary that they are willing to take a chance on anyone else.

I actually think Azula was the first person Iroh went to see when he left Katara and Zuko. He would have been so surprised and shocked at how rapidly she has deteriorated. He would have tried being kind to her – but it is a bit late for that coming from Iroh (I actually want to explore Iroh and Azula's relationship in the coming chapters and look at things like why is Iroh so dismissive of Azula and so tolerant of Zuko). I think he never underestimated her – he saw her as the cunning and vicious opponent she was – and treated her accordingly. However he has lost sight of the fact that she is still only 14 years old. Seeing her after her breakdown, when she is so pitiable, would have been a jarring for him – because it doesn't fit with how he sees her.

I don't think Azula is in a mental place to even begin collecting herself and making up sinister plots etc. She's not going to try escape right now. She's not thinking clearly. The guards Iroh finds are fairly trustworthy – they are not going to mistreat her. Mostly because I find the idea of mistreating the mentally unwell abhorrent. They will also take their duty guarding her quite seriously. I think Iroh would also feel a sense of familiar responsibility to Azula and would want her to be comfortable (but guarded round the clock).

I also wanted Katara and Azula to meet up again in this chapter – because I think it would be good for both of them. Azula is not in a place to process this meeting right now, but she will at a later date. Azula is not used to anyone being kind to her just because. She is used to people fearing her and used to having power over people. She is used to dominating her friends as well as her enemies. Katara is nice to her here, when she is so powerless and it is completely unnecessary. She is nice to Azula when there is no possible gain for herself. This will baffle Azula. And she will think on it. Also she is at her most coherent when she is asking about Zuko. This will come up in a later chapter.

I wanted Katara to grow as person and reach a more mature and less problematic understanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness has been a bit problematic for Katara. She is a grudge holder. She had a very black and white view of morality at the start of the show, very similar to Aang's actually (I still think Aang sees the world in rather black and white terms at the end of the show). But she is also an innately good and compassionate person. I think that for Katara to actually let go of her anger at Azula, unprompted and without Azula saying sorry, would be a big step forward for her. Forgiveness is where love and justice finally meet is a quote from Angels in America by Tony Kushner and it is brilliant. The Meryl Streep version is especially epic and I highly recommend it.

Next chapter – Zuko will wake up, the Gaang will arrive in the firenation and there will be shenaniagns. Also Hakoda will be with them – for those of us that think Hakoda is just all kinds of awesome!

Til then lovely readers!