I'll write a disclaimer soon, I promise. This chapter may not even need one. Wandering aimlessly in the dark in search of Scotch, stubbing toe, cursing moderately, my mood is soothed by the tiger striped kitty that has jumped in my lap. See some other chapter for other stuff.

CERN Geneva Switzerland, December 27th

Horst Grunwald PhD sat at his desk. The computer screen in front of him had the latest collider data. It was close to 6:00PM. Horst thought the data could wait until tomorrow and signed off the system. He turned and looked at the LCD picture frame on his desk. It had just changed to a picture of Liisa and Lena. Liisa had been about 22 in that picture, Lena about 44. Horst looked into his daughters green eyes. He felt a little flushed, missing her today like he does every day. Her birthday was the Sunday after next, she would have been 35.

He picked up his phone off the desk. He texted, "Auf meinem Heimweg" to Lena, then stood and slid the phone into his jacket pocket and picked up his keys off the desk. He looked around his office. The furnishings had been re-done last year. Grey carpet, black and grey cabinets, desk, small couch, and two digital white boards. It was very modern, even elegant except for the beat up brown office chair behind his desk.

"I may have to finally let them take you someday old friend" he said softly and patted the back of the chair. He looked out his window, it was snowing again. He turned and retrieved his coat, scarf and hat from the back of the door, put them on and fished his gloves out of the pockets. He walked out leaving the door open behind him.

Heavy solids

Horst walked through the door into the living room of his and Lena's apartment. Lena stuck her head out from around the corner where the kitchen was. She held her finger to her lips, "Lisel just got to sleep". On the couch next to the hallway lay Lisel on her side. Her white long eared bunny clutched in her arms. Curley blond hair half covering her face. Horst put his gloves in his coat pockets, took off his coat and hat and hung them on the wall hooks beside the door.

He walked over to the couch and gently pushed the hair off Lisel's face. She had so much of her mother's face, but he could see the father in there also. My beautiful granddaughter he thought. He walked in to the kitchen. Lena was at the table working on a lesson plan for her math students when school started again. "It's pretty late for her nap. What did you two do today?"

Lena smiled, "We played in the snow, went to library then we came home and she played with her Christmas presents until about half an hour ago. She finally ran out of energy and I lay with her on the couch until she fell asleep. I probably should have tried to get here down earlier, but we only have a few more weeks with her. So." She shrugged and smiled again.

Horst smiled, leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek. "I'm going to read the news at my desk."

Lena returned to the papers in front of her. "Do you want a cup of tea? I'm going to make some in moment."

Horst was already heading down the hall, "Yes, thank you."

Horst went into the bedroom of their three bedroom apartment he used for his office. It was a large room with three large windows that looked out upon the snow covered park across the street. His desk sat in front of the window, facing the door. It was very modern, stainless steel with a glass covered piece of mahogany carved and inlaid with physics formulas. Leonard had gotten it for him when he and Lena had moved into the apartment almost 2 years ago. Behind it between the desk and window was a twin to his chair at CERN, brown, old and well used.

The walls of the room were painted a very light grey. They were covered with pictures of people and the construction of the collider and CERN's buildings.

He sat in the chair turned and looked out at the snow. It was lovely to watch he thought but made life difficult in most other ways. He liked the spring better. He turned to his desk and pulled out the top drawer for his tablet. Below was the letter, he'd read it hundreds of times. He put the tablet on his desk and reached for the letter, his other hand going into his pocket for his reading glasses.

He liked reading Liisa's letters and writings. He always could hear her voice whenever he did. He opened the letter, it was typed, writing by hand had been too painful near the end. He winced at the image and began to read.

Dearest Papa

It will not be much longer now. My very bones ache and are becoming frail. Leonard brings Lisel to me whenever I'm awake. I've finally consented to be put on a pain medication system. I fear that once that starts I will not be able to write any longer. The pain might be bearable but the effect on Leonard is unendurable. He suffers more than I in that way. We both know the inevitable is upon us. But I know it will end, he must go on.

I've written four letters that I'll give you with this one. One is for Leonard after I'm gone. One is for Lisel when she wants to know more about me. The third one is special. You may never get to deliver it. It's to a lady that Leonard was and I believe still in love with. Her name is Penelope Jensen, Leonard calls her Penny. She is a wonderful actress in the U.S. She makes mostly television and has her own show. I've watched all the episodes on the internet, though Leonard doesn't know.

Papa I know Leonard loves me and my little Lisel so much. I also have always known that part of his heart always stayed with Penny. The way he smiled and his eyes would be when I asked about her and he would remember something. Wait for a while after I'm gone before you give him my letter. I believe Papa that he will find his way back to Penny, I hope he does and that she makes him happy and that my little Lisel will have a wonderful mother.

If he finds her again then make sure she gets the letter.

Papa the last letter is for you and Momma. You'll know when to read it.

All my love

Liisa

Shadows of Twilight

In the shadows of twilight the temperature plummets,
The radiant warm glow of the sun upon my up turned face no longer.
A cold night begins, it will seep into my bones and carry me forward.
So many things left undone in the sunlight, passions, wonders, questions.

All left cold as the night comes on, faster now the last light waning on the horizon.
Lofty goals forgotten, stunned silence as I fumble for the words.
Lost chances and moments that can not return.
Trying to stay in the present, to see the future bright.
But I keep slipping ever farther into the shadows of twilight.

The last prose she ever wrote, thought Horst, he could her saying the words.

Horst controlled his emotions and didn't cry. He knew that if he took the next letter out of the drawer that was to Lena and himself that he wouldn't be able to. Leonard had his letter. He reached into the drawer and pulled out the last two letters. The envelopes were hand written.

Lisel Penelope Hoftstader
Penelope Jensen

He put them back in the drawer. He pushed the tablet on button. There was an email from the Media director at CERN.

The subject line made him smile: "You son in law is engaged to a movie star!"

This is a shorter chapter, really only had the purpose of letting you meet Horst and Lena. See inside Liisa's head just a bit. We'll get more Lisel later.

Reviews and questions are always welcome.

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