She woke up later to the sound of voices. She realized she was alone and she sat up quickly, looking around wildly for Erin. Within moments, she was at her side, a calming hand on her back. "Shh, Penny, everything's okay. Dr. Reid came back with the pill you need to take." Penelope nodded and accepted the bag Reid held out to her, not meeting his eyes.
He sat on the bed and clasped her hand, and she fought not to wrench away from his gentle touch. "Penelope, if you need anything, anything at all, do not hesitate to call me. The three of us, we're bound together now, and I'll do whatever it takes to protect you, I promise." She sighed and leaned against him, letting him wrap his arms around her in a tight hug. "I have to get going now. I'm meeting Morgan for lunch, and then we're going to a movie. For once, our interests intersect, so he won't be totally bored when I discuss why the premise of the movie is inherently flawed." A ghost of a smile flickered across her face and his smile widened. "See you on Monday," he said before kissing her cheek softly.
After he'd left, Erin looked at her. "Are you hungry?" Penelope shook her head and swung her legs out to set her feet on the floor. "Can I get you to eat some ice cream? You really should take that pill with something on your stomach."
"That would be fine," Penelope whispered as she stood, taking a few hesitant steps towards the bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet, she threw up, the horror of the night catching up to her body at last. Erin ran in to her, holding her hair back from her face as she emptied her stomach. Soon, pure bile was burning her throat and she sat back on her haunches, breathing deeply. Erin handed her a wet washcloth and she washed her face clean of the ick that had come up. Gently, Erin helped her to stand and together they walked into the kitchen. She sat at the table while Erin made a small dish of ice cream, then poured her a glass of water.
She choked down the sweetness and then took the pill. "This will make certain I don't get pregnant, right?" she asked, staring at the empty bowl, fear clouding her features.
"Yes, dear. That's the point of the medication," she responded as she picked up the bowl and washed it out quickly, putting it away. "Do you want to go back to sleep or do you feel up to keeping me company on this lazy Sunday?"
Penelope looked up into Erin's eyes. "I want to be near you. You're the only one who understands right now." Erin held out her hand and Penelope took it, letting herself be led into the living room. They sat down on the couch, and Penelope pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging herself up into a ball. "Our apartment?" she asked quietly, not looking at Erin.
"Yeah, that's what I've begun thinking of it as. You've made me a home here, accepted me as I am. I couldn't ask for more."
Penelope reached for her purse and Erin handed it to her. She rooted through it, finally pulling out the small paper bag from last night. "Then I wasn't too forward thinking last night. I was going to give this to you when I got home." She handed the bag to Erin, who accepted it willingly.
Opening the bag, Erin tipped it over, spilling the contents into her hand. She smiled as she looked at the shiny new key. "Thank you, Penny." She pulled her key ring out of her purse and added the key to it. Then she leaned against Penelope, taking her hand and threading their fingers together. "This is going to sound trite right now, but you will heal, I promise you. I've made it to the other side more times than I care to remember, but now I have you, my sweet friend, and it's become easier to move forward. Please, don't let them destroy the light of your soul. I let him do that to me, and look at my reputation at work." She sighed and put her head on Penelope's shoulder. Penelope rested her head against Erin's, lightly running her thumb over the back of Erin's hand.
"I told Derek once that I believe everything happens for a really good reason. I can't find that reason right now. But I know that if I did not have you in my life, I'd fall to pieces and never be able to put myself back together again. Will you hold my heart softly?"
"Of course I will, my dear. Will you hold mine?" Penelope nodded and she brought their hands up to her lips, kissing Penelope's lightly. Penelope slid down and set her head in Erin's lap. Gently, Erin ran her fingers through Penelope's hair, not saying anything. After some time passed, Erin bent and kissed her forehead. At the touch, Penelope's eyes teared up once more and she blinked, trying to stop herself from crying yet again. Erin brushed the tears away with her thumb and Penelope found herself nuzzling her head into Erin's hand.
Her phone rang, shattering the silence. Penelope knew by the ringtone it was Derek. Slowly, she sat up and pulled her phone from her purse. "Hey Sugar. What can I do for you?" she asked, trying to sound normal.
"Reid and I are going to see a movie and I wanted to know if you would like to come along as well."
"Oh, I'm having a lazy Sunday in today, Morgan. But thanks for the invite."
"Okay, just thought I'd ask. See you tomorrow, Baby Girl."
"Bright and early." She hung up and sat back in the couch. "Could we, could we…" She bit her lip and ran to the bed, laying down and facing the wall. She felt the bed dip moments later, and Erin curled her body to fit Penelope's. Slowly, her arm wrapped around Penelope's waist, holding her close. Penelope turned and faced Erin. "How do I go to work tomorrow and pretend everything is all right? I'm not a good liar; they'll know something is up."
"Just try to think about the love and light that have surrounded your life thus far. And know I'll be waiting here for you at home." Penelope leaned in and stole a quick kiss, then another. Soon, they were kissing sweetly, Erin trying to offer her understand and caring through her lips. As Penelope relaxed, she felt herself falling to sleep once more, safe in the arms of someone who cared.
Hours later, she woke again, smelling Chinese food. She sat up with a small smile and walked into the kitchen. Erin was just setting the last plate on the table when she saw Penelope. "I hope that you're hungry. I ordered all our favorites."
Penelope heard her stomach growl loudly and saw Erin's quick smile. "I think I am. Did you remember the egg rolls?"
"Of course. I don't know where you found this place, Penny, but they are absolutely amazing. Here, sit down, let me serve you."
She did as told, raising an eyebrow at how much food Erin put on her plate. "When did we get red wine?" she asked as Erin poured two glasses of Pinot Noir. "We drank the last bottle two days ago."
"I had Dr. Reid pick us up a few other things while he was out. Where did you think the ice cream came from? I didn't want to leave you alone in the apartment if you woke up." Penelope reached out and grabbed Erin's hand, smiling gently. "I know how terrifying it can be to wake up without someone who cares there. I didn't want you to go through that."
Penelope began to eat, finding herself hungrier than she'd realized. "I never thought, in all my life, that I'd consider you one of my closest friends. Even Derek doesn't know me as intimately as you do. But, let me know more about you. Why did you choose the FBI?"
"I suppose because I wanted to put people like my husband behind bars, but wanted a bigger thrill. Had I not gotten pregnant, I could have escaped him out onto the field, as well. Fate, it would seem, had other plans for me. What's wrong?"
"I forgot about field work. I don't want to end up out in some city with him. Would it be unprofessional if I bunked with either Derek or Reid if I should have to go somewhere? Or could I just damn the consequences?"
"I would bunk with Dr. Reid, he knows what's going on and can be discreet. I have faith that he will be able to protect you no matter what. He certainly seemed ready to do that earlier."
"He is a good kid," Penelope replied, looking down at her plate. "I just wish I didn't have to worry about things like this." They finished eating and Penelope washed the dishes while Erin put the leftovers away. Then they went into the living room. Penelope curled up on the couch and watched as Erin pulled out a DVD.
"You need to laugh tonight," she said as she put it in the player, then picked up the remote and pressed play. She settled on the couch next to Penelope and smiled at Penelope who leaned against her. As the movie played, Penelope did find herself laughing at the antics on the screen. By the end of the movie, she did feel a smidgen better, though she was still exhausted. "I'd like to check those wounds before we go to bed," Erin said as the credits rolled across the screen. Penelope nodded and pulled off the nightgown while Erin went into the bathroom.
Moments later, Erin returned with the salve and a washcloth. She knelt on the floor in front of Penelope and gently touched the wounds. "Some of these look really red and angry still. I'm sorry if this hurts," she said lowly as she washed away the old salve and put new on. As soon as she was finished, Penelope pulled the nightgown back on, wanting to hide from the world again.
They got up and Erin tossed the washcloth in the clothesbasket. Penelope crawled into bed, staring up at the ceiling. She heard Erin grab out some clothes from the dresser and listened as the shower started up. She found she couldn't relax, though exhaustion was eating at her bones. Intently, she listened for the water to turn off, and as soon as it did, she felt her body start to give in to sleep. By the time the bed dipped under Erin's slight weight, she was already on the fast track to slumber.
When the alarm rang in the morning, she could smell breakfast cooking. She looked in her closet for something that wouldn't reveal the welts and bruising on the tops of her breasts, and realized her wardrobe consisted of clothes meant to show off her best asset. Sighing, she pulled out her favorite polka-dotted dress and laid it on the bed. Shucking off the nightgown, she slipped on a pair of panties and then fastened her bra. The lace irritated her, catching on the scabs that were beginning to form. Wincing slightly, she zipped up the dress and then looked in the mirror. The place where Rossi had backhanded her was now a large bruise, puffy and dark, crowned with a ring shaped cut.
She put her makeup on, but avoided covering up the bruise. She joined Erin in the kitchen and sat down at the table. "I've decided. I'm not going to hide the bruise." She began to eat, not looking at Erin.
"Is that wise? You know Agent Morgan will question you about what happened."
"I can't cover the welts on my chest and I'd rather them look at my face than my breasts. That can be explained away easily enough, but these cannot," she replied as she touched her chest. Erin nodded and finished eating with her. They left the dishes in the sink and Penelope grabbed her purse, putting her phone inside. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yes." Erin handed her the travel mugs and put her coat on. Taking Penelope's things from her, she watched as Penelope put on her coat, buttoning it up to the chin. She handed back over the purse and mug, letting Penelope leave first. While Penelope waited, Erin locked their door and then they went out to the car. Penelope started the car and took off, her nerves starting to get the better of her the closer she got to work. She had Erin go in alone to the coffee shop, suddenly not trusting her legs to support her weight. Before she could put the car in reverse, Erin touched her hand. "I have faith in you, Penny. You're strong enough to face him and show him he didn't break your spirit." She leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. "And don't forget, I'm just a few floors up. My door is always open to you."
Penelope smiled, drawing strength from Erin. She would find that same strength to deal with him, even if she did lock her office door. When they got to work, she let Erin go in first, hanging back a minute or two. She went through Mike's line and caught his look of concern when he saw her face. She smiled at him, and he returned the smile after a long moment had passed. She took the stairs up to the BAU, and took her time, wanting to get there after everyone had already settled for the day.
She stepped into the bullpen and saw the team gathered around Morgan's desk. She tried to hurry past them up to her office when she heard Morgan's voice. "Good morning, Baby Girl."
Turning, she slowly went over to them. "Good morning, Derek."
His smile faltered a bit when he saw the bruise on her face. His eyes narrowed and he asked, "Honey, what happened?"
All eyes were focused on her, though she focused on Rossi's hateful stare. "I slipped on the stairs yesterday and banged my face against the bannister. It hurt like hell when it happened, but that's what I get for being so clumsy. Believe me, it won't happen again."
"Penelope if you honestly expect me to believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. What really happened to your face? There's a ring imprint in the middle of it, for God's sake!"
She shrugged, never taking her eyes off David. Morgan followed her gaze and growled lowly, taking a step towards the other man. Rossi cocked his eyebrow at Morgan, as if daring him to make a move at work. Penelope put her hand on his shoulder, restraining him. "It's just a bruise, it will heal. And now, I know to be more careful on the steps."
Reluctantly, Morgan moved back to her side, taking her hand in his. "If you ever need anything…"
"Call you, I know. Now, I have to get up to work. My teams are waiting for me." She let go of his hand and brushed past them, going up to her office. She locked the door behind her, then booted up her system up while she hung her coat on the hook. Her phone rang and she picked it up, then noticed it was an inter-office call. "Hello?"
"That wasn't very smart, Penelope."
"But I didn't say a word, David. I didn't have to; your actions spoke for themselves. If I were you, I'd leave me and Erin alone."
"Is that a threat?"
"No. I'm just giving you a piece of friendly advice. I have to go now; one of the other teams is calling me." She hung up with him, breathing deeply to calm herself. Penelope soon lost herself in her work, barely stopping for lunch. Erin's note made her tear up as she read about how she loved her smile.
At three, someone tried to get in her office and she looked at the door in fright. Then a gentle tapping came and she relaxed a little. She went over to the door and opened it, peeking out. Aaron and Emily stood there, a concerned look on their faces. "Come in," she said, opening the door wider to let them in. She shut and locked the door after them, the action starting to become habit. "What can I do for you?"
"You can start by being honest with us. If you're in trouble, we want to help you, but we can't unless we know what's going on. Has Kevin been bothering you again?" Aaron asked as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
She could feel her face lose its color and she hurriedly stammered, "No, no, I honestly fell." She looked down at the ground and knew they'd followed her gaze when they gasped at the sight of her chest. She covered up the worst of the visible wounds with her hand, refusing to look at either of them.
She saw Emily's hand come up and brush away a few of the tears that had started to fall. "Honey, you can tell us, we'll keep you safe. Did Kevin do this to you? Did he rape you?"
Penelope blushed, thinking of the threats of planted evidence. "No. I just have to learn to not be so clumsy. Thank you for your concern though. I truly appreciate it." She turned back to her computers and began to type as she sat, hoping they would get the hint and leave her alone. A few minutes passed and she heard the door open and close. She swiveled around in her chair, wanting to check the lock once more, and saw that Aaron was still there. "Did you need something else, Sir?" she asked, not meeting his eyes.
He took a seat on her sofa and cleared his throat. "Penelope, as your supervisor, I'm asking you to tell me what really happened. Those marks on your chest were not made by falling on anything. Those are teeth marks. What is going on here?"
"Nothing that I can't handle, Hotch."
"Really? If you can't talk to us about what happened, I doubt you went to the police. You are a strong woman, Penelope, with people who would protect you if he threatened you with something. Why would you choose to bury this and not take it any further?"
To her mortification, she found herself tearing up once more. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you what was going on, I'm certain of that. There's nothing you can do to help me out of this. I brought it on myself."
"No one brings a rape on themselves, Penelope."
"They do when they're being taught a lesson about what happens when they don't turn their back on a friend. And when I still refused to betray her, well, they still didn't break me. I won't let them break me. Aaron?"
"Yes?"
"I know you don't understand my decision, and that's okay. I do have something to ask of you, though."
"Anything."
"Will you teach me how to shoot?"
He looked taken aback by her request. "I thought you didn't believe in guns?"
"I don't, but I have to do something to keep us safe. If I knew how to use a gun, how to not be afraid of them, I can do that. I still don't like the idea, but what else can I do?"
He was quiet for a moment, and then he reached out and took Penelope's hand in his. "Yes, I'll teach you. Shall we begin today after work?"
"Yes. I am an FBI agent after all. It's about time I started acting like one." They both stood and she was surprised when he took her in his arms, holding her close. Slowly, she returned the embrace, thankful for his concern.
"I don't want to see you lose your light over this. There's something special about you, Penelope Garcia, something you deserve to be able to keep and share with the world. I may not be able to understand what you're going through, not in its entirety, but I want you to know I'll always be there for you, no matter what happens. Just call me, or come over, or whatever you feel comfortable doing. I know Jack would enjoy seeing you, too."
She smiled and stepped away from him. "Thanks, Hotch. I'll keep that in mind. See you this afternoon on the shooting range."
"I'll be there about ten after five." He left the room and she locked the door once more before breaking down and sobbing. The next two hours passed quickly and before she went down to meet with Hotch, she called Erin. "Hey, Hotch is going to run me home tonight. I'll leave the keys with Reid so you can go home without having to wait for me. I don't know how long we'll be, and I don't want you to be bored."
"And what will you be doing?"
"Learning something I should have a long time ago. Like you said, Aaron's a good man. I trust him to keep me safe."
"All right, peacock. I'll see you when you get home. What time should I expect you for supper?"
"About eight." Without thinking, she said, "I love you."
There was a pause at the other end of the line. "I love you, too," Erin said finally, and then hung up.
Penelope stared at the phone for a moment, wondering at what she'd said to Erin, then got up. It was true, she did love her and the thought brought a sense of peace to her heart. Gathering up her things, she went out into the bullpen, locking her office. Reid was still there, and she stopped by his desk. "Can you go run these up to Erin, please? Something came up and I have to stay here with Hotch."
"Will do, Penelope. Who's bringing you home?"
"Hotch, I hope. If anyone needs anything, I'll be down on the shooting range." She ignored the look Reid gave her and made her way over to the elevators. She rode all the way to the basement and found Hotch waiting for her. He handed her a pair of protective glasses and headphones. She put the goggles on and accepted the gun he handed her.
"Ahead of you is your target. You want to aim to kill and follow through. The cleanest shots are head and chest, usually death is instantaneous. If you want them to suffer, you aim for the stomach. Now step up to where you'll be shooting from. When you're standing still, you want a nice wide stance. Aim with your sight, not by looking at the target. Squeeze on the trigger forcefully, yet don't jerk it around, you'll lose your aim if you do that. Are you ready to try for yourself?" She nodded and he put on his headphones. She followed suit, then took a deep breath. She aimed for the chest, finding her mark in the sight. Remembering not to jerk on the trigger, she pulled firmly, never taking her eyes off her mark.
She fired five more times in rapid succession, never looking over at Hotch. Her clip empty, she slid the headphones off. "How'd I do?"
"Let's find out." Aaron brought the target over to them and pulled it down. "My god, Penelope, each of these is a perfect kill shot. I don't know why you asked for my help with this, you're a natural."
"Must be all the video games I've played," she replied. "Now, how do I go about getting my gun?"
"You'll have to pass the test, just like all of us. You should be able to schedule it for some time later this week, and they'll issue you a firearm then. Until you can do that, keep mine. I don't know what you're in the middle of, Penelope, but I want you safe."
"Ah, Boss Man, you just want to make a girl blush. As soon as I get my own weapon, I'll return this to you, I promise." They both practiced for another hour, Penelope growing more certain of herself with every successful sheet she looked at. The time passed quickly, and they looked at each other and smiled.
"So, I heard you need a ride home," he said as he handed her a box of ammunition. "How did you get here today?"
"I rode with a friend. But when this came up, I told her to go home without me. Do you mind dropping me by my apartment?"
"That will be fine. Let's get going." She put the gun and ammo in her purse and followed him out and up to his car. She got in the passenger side and buckled up, locking her door as soon as she was in. He got in and drove, pulling up in front of her building minutes later. "Do you want me to walk you to the door?"
"No, Hotch, I should be fine here." She leaned over and touched his face gently. "Don't let time pass you by too quickly. The someone meant only for you is out there, I know they are. You need a best friend again. See you tomorrow." Penelope got out and walked up to her door, letting herself in. As she shut the door, she watched him pull away. She took the stairs two at a time, humming under her breath. "Erin, I'm home," she said as she entered the apartment.
She hung her coat up and went into the kitchen, where Erin was cooking supper. "You're back a little early."
"I was better than I thought I'd be. Seems the video games paid off in the end."
Erin turned to look at her, sadness tingeing her face. "You asked him to teach you how to shoot a gun, didn't you?" Penelope nodded. "Oh, my sweet peacock, why would you let them take that from you, too?"
Penelope looked at her, a puzzled look on her face. "Take what from me?"
"The sweet disbelief in guns. The belief that there are other ways than a gun to settle things." Tears slipped down Erin's face, and Penelope wiped them away, finding herself crying as well. "I don't want you to change like that."
"I just wanted to keep us safe. I didn't know it would upset you so," she whispered as Erin wrapped her arms around her waist, holding her close. They stood like that for a few minutes, until the pan Erin was cooking in began to boil. Erin turned back to the stove and Penelope set her purse on the floor, plugging her cell phone in to charge. "So, you like my smile?"
"Yes. It lights up the room, it really does. It's almost as if your whole body goes into those smiles. Every time I see one, I can't help but smile back. If people saw me here, with you, they'd think I had a good twin. I've never been so content in my life."
"Neither have I, honestly. Even with Kevin, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and then it did. There were signs that I chose to ignore of course. And then you came crashing into my orbit," she said as she took a seat at the table, accepting the plate from Erin.
"I rather think it was you who crashed into me," Erin replied archly. A tiny giggle escaped from Penelope's lips and Erin smiled at her, her eyes crinkling. "See, that's what I love about you," she said as she took a seat next to Penelope. "Your joy is infectious."
They ate and caught up on the rest of their day, then cleaned up. While Erin put the dishes away, Penelope went into the living room, and unzipped her dress as she sat on the sofa. She pulled it away from her body, and the soft fabric clung to a few of the weeping welts and she winced as it came away. Then she unhooked her bra. As she tried to pull it away from her breasts, she cried out in pain.
"What's wrong?" Erin asked as she came running into the room.
"I can't get my bra off. The welts dried it to my body and I don't want to open them again. Oh god, it hurts."
"Just sit here and I'll go get something to take it off without hurting you." Erin ran into the bathroom and Penelope heard her run water. Minutes later, she came back with a wet washcloth. Slowly, she soaked the lace of the bra cups, gingerly pulling at it until it came free of her body. While Erin put the washcloth in the basket, Penelope changed into her pajamas, choosing a loose top and warm pants. She heard the television click on and then heard Erin flip through the channels, stopping on a show that sounded vaguely familiar.
"What are we watching tonight?" she asked as she took a seat next to Erin on the couch, picking up her knitting.
"A Single Man. I've always loved Colin Firth." Erin picked up the project she was working on and turned to watch the television, putting her feet up on the coffee table. "I really hope this fits," she said as she worked on the cable on the front of the sweater.
"It will be fine. You measured me twice, after all." She settled back on the couch and watched the movie, paying more attention to it than her knitting. When the movie was over, they set their things on the table, then went into the bedroom. Penelope sat on the bed and watched Erin undress. The skirt fell to the floor first, and Penelope noticed her wiggle her hips as she unbuttoned her blouse, letting it pool on top of the skirt. Erin looked over her shoulder and smiled at Penelope as she unhooked her bra. Bending slightly, she pulled out a short silky nightgown.
"I'll be right back," she said as she went into the bathroom. Penelope picked up her clothes while she was gone, putting them away. Then she turned down the bed, climbing in on her side. She sat back against the headboard and waited for Erin to come back. Penelope watched her come out, almost stalking towards her. She smiled and Erin climbed into bed, yawning slightly. "I have no right to be this tired," she whispered as she snuggled down in the bed.
"Sometimes we just have one of those days," Penelope replied as she joined Erin in lying down. Erin reached over and turned off the light, then turned towards Penelope, looking her in the eyes. "What is it?"
"Did you mean what you said earlier?"
Without hesitation, Penelope responded. "Yes."
"Good. I did, too." Erin leaned forward and kissed Penelope sweetly. Penelope returned the kiss, melting into Erin. She buried her hands in Erin's hair, pulling her closer, wanting to feel something other than sorrow. Sighing, she broke the kiss and leaned her head against Erin's. Her hands fluttered down Erin's side, settling on her hips. Nervously, she let her fingers splay out on her ass, and smiled slightly when Erin shivered.
Penelope kissed Erin once more and then backed off, biting her lip hesitantly. "I-I can't…"
"That's fine. I don't want you to do something you're not comfortable with," Erin said, smiling gently at her. Penelope nodded and pulled Erin closer to her once more. Erin rested her head on top of Penelope's, sheltering her, or so it seemed. She fell asleep feeling loved.