I am soooo sorry. I was supposed to been had my shit together and wrote this chapter, but it too me so long. Thanx 2 my friend Gabby's constant motivation, I've finally finished this chapter. Let me know what you think.

P.S: I've got one chapter left in the works. (Unless my thoughts get away from me and I have to split it like I had to do with this chapter)

~Kurenai Cakes

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.

~Epicurus

Chapter 20:

December Continued

Three Weeks Before Christmas

With Gaara

The girls were depressed, walking about like little anti-Christmas zombies. They didn't want to participate in any pre-Christmas celebrations. No desire to go shopping for presents, help decorate the tree (an activity which had been put on hold until the girls were ready), to set up Santa-enticing decorations. And Gaara had finally had enough of the sad behavior. So he went to the source of the problem. Hinata.

The twins had just been put to bed, so Gaara and Hinata, though not physically alone, were able to talk without interruption.

"You need to snap out of this, babe. You're destroying Christmas." He was kind of whining, but who cared. He was desperate for the Hyuga household to gain the Christmas cheer. (He hadn't missed the looks of sadness, disappointment and longing for a normal, festive Christmas on the Hyuga family's face. But the attempts to achieve the desire were ultimately shut down by Hinata's, and by extension the girls', refusal to participate and meet the family half way. )

"I'm not ruining anything." Hinata defended, her voice talking a hard edge. That was a clear sign of her lying. She got defensive.

"Yes you are. You're taking a happy first Christmas from the girls. We haven't asked them what they wanted from Santa. There's a big empty tree in the living room. You can't even tell that Christmas is in a few weeks. " Gaara paused allowing the information to soak into her thick skull. "All we wanted-your dad, sister, cousin, my family and I-all we want is to spend our first Christmas with the girls and you. And you're destroying it."

"I'm sorry, Gaara. I didn't know. I didn't think about it like that. It's just that-"

He didn't let her finish making her excuse. He loves her but right now he was so tired of excuses. "I get Hinata. Babe I get. I know that you have a new family. I know that you have traditions. I understand that. What I don't understand is you denying us, the girls' real families, a chance to make tradition with you too"

He watched as tears of sorrow fell down. He pulls her into a hug, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. He rocks her a little, stroking her hair. Eventually, they lie down. And before he closes his eyes, he swears that he hears, a small "I'm sorry."

The Next Day

With Hinata

Hinata had finally gathered the courage to drag herself from her melancholy. She was trying to take Gaara's words and make something positive from them. She rose from the bed, Haveah and Havana at her heels. The three band together and locate the boxes of decorations for the gigantic tree.

And now they stand in front of the imposing figure wondering how and the hell they can decorate the tree.

" Want some help with that." the three girls turn around to find a pajama clad Hanabi and Neji smiling at them.

Haveah and Havana nod while Hinata smiles back. And soon the five of them get to work. They started at around nine and don't finish until it's nearly two o'clock. But Hinata can't find it within herself to let the happiness that had just come about end, so she asks a question that no one will be able to say no to.

"Do you want to build a snowman?"

...

Two Weeks Before Christmas

With Hinata

Hinata awoke to a strange weight on her back. Someone was sitting on her back. It's weird because there aren't a lot of possibilities as to who was sitting on her. Gaara was too heavy. It couldn't be Havana or Haveah because the weight above her was solid and unmoving. The girls would be shaking masses of giggles. Not to mention that she was supposed to be in bed alone. Gaara and the girls went down for breakfast a little while ago. She hadn't felt up to it and decided to sleep in, willing Christmas Eve and Christmas - which were about two weeks away to hurry the hell up and pass already. Just thinking that she wouldn't make it home for Christmas put a damper on her usually high spirits. That wasn't exactly correct because, technically she was at home in Konoha, but this place felt so foreign after being in Kingakure for the past three years. It was the place where she began raising her precious bundles of joy, the place where she made a new family and became her, who she had to be for her daughters. And them coming back to Konoha, she had to change again, to put her anger aside and be somewhat how she used to be: the eldest daughter of Hiashi and Rukia Hyuga, the older sister of Hanabi Hyuga, one of Neji Hyuga's cousins, friend to everyone and the title that she feared above all else-Gaara's girlfriend. It was hard to adjust and fully be her old self when she had just blossomed into the young woman she was now: mother of Havana and Haveah, 'adopted' daughter of Kurenai Yuhi... the list goes on.

Back to the problem at hand, the weight. Neji and Hiashi were too dignified for the endeavor, not to mention either one of them sitting on her back would've broken her in half So that left Hanabi.

"Hanabi? " Hinata called out, her voice muffled by the fluffy comforter beneath her. There was no answer. Who the hell was this anyway? Hinata wiggled as she growled "Hanabi?"

"Think again." The voice that answered her back was nothing that Hinata had been expecting. The person sitting on her back wasn't Hanabi. It was KURENAI!

Sitting up quickly, Hinata made the crimson eyed woman fall onto the floor, not that it matter. Hinata dove to the floor with her, hugging the daylights out of her. Tears blurred her vision and Hinata clenched her eyes shut to keep the at bay.

"Glad to see you up, sleepyhead." That voice. It made Hinata's pale lavender eyes pop open in surprise.

Turning around, Hinata was met with the sight of none other than Avery and Ryan. A huge squeal erupted from her mouth as she pushed herself off of Kurenai and jumped up. Then she got up and wrapped her arms around the older female. After a while, she let her go only to be wrapped up in Ryan's strong arms.

"Oh my God. I missed you so much!" The blunette squeezed the boy with all her might. Tears began cascading down her face in elation. But she was soon sobered by one realization. They weren't supposed to be here.

Pulling back from the green-eyed man's arms, Hinata looked up at him questioningly. "Wh-why are you h-here?"

The older people in the room shared a glance before Avery began to speak, "Your boyfriend didn't tell you?"

"Te-tell me what?" The reference to Gaara instantly increased Hinata's curiosity? What was he not telling her?

"He brought us here." The words didn't make any sense. Gaara hated this part of her family. Besides the word "us" hinted that there were more family members here.

"Us?" This was the only word that she could think to utter.

"Yeah, the whole family."

...

Gaara had just come home. Hinata, the girls and their Kingakure family were in the kitchen. He bypassed them and went straight into their bedroom. Hinata excused herself and ran after him. By the time she caught up, he was already in the bedroom. She entered after him, only to see him enter into the bathroom. He soon returned.

Sea foam green and pale lavender clashed. And Hinata was soon lost in a staring contest. She was so caught up in the emotional eyes that she didn't realize that he was talking. She heard the low thud of his voice and his lips moving, but the blood rushing to her ears stopped any true words from piercing her consciousness. Shaking herself from the Gaara-induced stupor, Hinata said:
" Wh-what did you say?" She couldn't help but stutter as the information he just relayed was too great. Or she assumed that it was.

"I know how much you wanted your other family to spend Christmas with you and the girls. And I know that you family nor mine wanted you guys to leave, so I brought your other family to you." Gaara was looking down, a faint blush dusting his cheeks, though the pale pink had nothing on his red hair.

"You brought my family here?" She was still somewhat dazed.

"Merry Christmas, babe." It was obvious that the words translated into 'yeah.' That cleared any more confusion that still fogged her mind.

The only thing that now crossed her mind was "I love you so much." Hinata ran up to Gaara, jumping into his arms. The sudden weight caused him to topple over onto the bed, her body on top of his.

"Thank you," she whispered giving him a kiss to the forehead." Thank you," A kiss to his left cheek. " Thank you," A kiss to the right cheek. The final "Thank you," was completed with a kiss on his lips.

What was supposed to be a soft, chaste kiss quickly escalated. Lips parted, tongues rubbled, teeth clashed. She didn't know who initiated it, but all she did know was that the kiss was getting hot and heavy, too fast. And a doorway into the more carnal pleasures of love was beginning to open, showering her with a lust that she hadn't felt in a long time. Hinata began to panic when Gaara reached for the top button on her button up collar shirt, his warm hand touching her chest. And the scary thing was that she didn't want to stop. Usually there was a filter to stop this kind of reaction. Haveah and Havana's presence usually acted as a buffer to stop any non-innocent activity. Hell Gaara and Hinata didn't even kiss in front of the girls. Without them though, Hinata and Gaara were on the way to sex, which she was sure or at least she felt they weren't ready for.

"This has to stop,. Stop Hinata. You aren't ready." The logical part of her began to scream as his hand began moving lower beneath her shirt, leaving a trail of invisible fire left in it's wake. Her logical side was silenced with pleasure. " But this feels so good."

Hinata was sent an angel, one that stopped all of her internal conflict as soon as it came. There were hurried knocks on the bedroom door, which had been closed at the start of the little talk, turned make out session.

"Hinata?" It was Kurenai. "Honey, you in there?" Hinata pulled away from Gaara, chest heaving from the previous, delicious oxygen deprivation. "Yeah, Mom" Hinata stuttered in reply. "I'm here. I'll be here in a minute."

Hinata looked at Gaara who'd laid his head on her chest, face tucked into her neck. His warm breath fanned across the area, tickling her.

"We won't get any time alone with them here will we?" His voice was just as strained and breathless as hers.

She didn't answer, only tried to pull away. And the fact that after two tries, she was still in the same place proved that he wasn't having it.

"Let me go, Gaara. I have to go talk to my mom." Hinata said. Gaara had his arms wrapped around her back (he had moved them when the knocking started). Sighing, the redhead let her go and Hinata quickly rose and ran to the door where Kurenai awaited. Opening the door, Hinata smiled, "Hi mo-mom."

"Took you long enough." Kurenai smiled. "What were you doing?"

Hinata blushed. "I-I wa-was busy."

"Busy? Oh." Kurenai paused., crimson eyes moving from Hinata to the space behind her. Hinata flinched internally. Gaara was probably the reason for the shift. Gaara brushed past the two as he exited. "I see"

Hinata's blush intensified. "Let's go for a walk." Kurenai suggested.

.

"So you and Gaara are getting really cozy." Kurenai's breath came out in puffs of white spoke, the warmth condensing in the frozen air. Both of them are clothed in coats and scarves, It was snowing, the white fluff stained the dark hair that each person had.

"We aren't cozy. We just..." Hinata floundered on the last part. She didn't know she and Gaara were doing. At first there were just being amicable for the girls. Now they were almost inseparable, just like the old days.

"You're rushing into this." Kurenai's words are curt and quick, but they do the damage intended. They effectively force the daydream to die and be replaced by the sadness that first came when she found Gaara and Matsuri together. " You and Gaara just spent three years apart and now you're practically fucking each other again."

"Mom! We aren't having sex." Hinata retorted, her voice rising in mortification. Kurenai was going straight to no man's land. No one wants to talk about sex with their mother figure. "We are just getting to know each other again. It doesn't hurt anything."

Kurenai wasn't hearing it. "You aren't thinking. Hinata this could not only hurt you, but the girls too. You have to think about them too." Kurenai paused, her eyes boring into Hinata's. "You and Gaara made a mistake before-"

Hinata knew that the woman with crimson eyes meant something else, but all Hinata heard was "You're daughters are a mistake."

And she acted accordingly "My little girls are NOT A MISTAKE!" Hinata screeched, her eyes wide and filling with tears.

"Honey, you know that's not what I meant, " Kurenai spoke, her voice a pitiful attempt at being calming. She takes a step toward Hinata only to have the girl flinch back as if the mere thought of touching Kurenai burned.

"Yes you did." Hinata shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks." If Gaara and I are a mistake, Haveah and Havana shouldn't be here. How could you say that. If the girls weren't here, we wouldn't have met. We-" Hinata cried, voice thick with pain and sadness.

Kurenai cut Hinata off, pulling the younger girl into a hug. "I'm sorry honey. That's not what I meant." Pulling away from the blunette, Kurenai looked down at her 'daughter'. "I'm sorry". Hinata nodded shakily, not trusting her voice to speak for her. Kurenai continued." I'm just saying... you and Gaara," Hinata tensed as the woman kept talking. " Just be careful."

Hinata nodded again, this time with a shaky, "o-okay."

Later That Night

"My mom isn't very fond of you." Hinata whispered as they settled into bed, the twins in between them.

"Yeah, I kind of noticed" he replied with a sigh. He was sick of everyone doubting him. Doubting her. Doubting their relationship. Doubting their ability to do what's right for the girls. He hated it. He hated that their doubt was founded in truth.

"Why can't anyone just trust us, babe? He whispered into the air, nonchalantly. He wasn't expecting an answer, but the one he received was heart-wrenchingly devastating.

"Be-because we didn't work out before." Her voice was quiet, barely a sound. But the miniscule sound held a lot of pain and doubt. He wanted to wipe the stain of their past away, but their was no way physically possible to do so. And because of that stain, she doubted them too. And it hurt like hell.

But what hurt the most was the fact that he had nothing to destroy that doubt. As mentioned before, the doubt was founded in truth. He had cheated with Matsuri. And since he couldn't go back in time and reverse his wrongs he settled for verbal regret.

"I'm sorry." The apology had been made thousands of time before. But he always felt the need to utter it, even if the words began to lose their potency after a while.

"I know Gaara," Her voice was dull, lacking all the love that normally exuded from her words.

"I love you," He tries to get the dullness to leave. Usually, the words make her smile. But not this time.

"I know. Love you too." She said the words, but they still lacked any real feeling. It sounded as if she didn't believe them. And that broke his heart.

...

Christmas Eve

With Hinata and Hiashi

Dinner was ready and she couldn't find her father anywhere. So that could only means one thing. He was in his office.

Hinata went to the office, knocking on the door softly.

"Dad," she calls out softly, knowing that if he was on the other side of the door, he'd hear her.

"Yes?"

"Dinner's ready"

"I'm fine go ahead"

The tone of voice was one that he'd frequently used when she was younger. That could only mean that he was working. On Christmas Eve. Hinata shook her head disapprovingly. When he was working he'd get into this zombie-like mode where he'd forget everything not pertaining to his business. Eating and showering were usually put on hold as he worked tirelessly. Hinata wasn't having that. Opening the door revealed a scene that was unexpected.

Hiashi was sitting in his leather chair a glass of some kind of brown alcohol in it, eyes fixated on the monitor of his computer.

"Dad?" she feels like she's intruding in something private, too personal for her pale lavender eyes. That's the major downside of her leaving. She feels as if she doesn't belong in the family anymore.

He doesn't ask her to leave. He just smiles and pats the extra expense of leather chair besides him. She takes the hint, sitting beside him.

She opens her mouth to ask what's wrong only to be put off by a feminine laugh. Instantly her head snaps to the screen to see the sight of her biological mother. The beauty was running behind two small children. One with long brown hair, a boy clad in a pair of light brown overalls a green t-shirt underneath. The first name that came to mind was none other than: Neji. The other child, the female, had a short hairstyle that stopped at the nape of her face. She was wearing a pair of purple overalls with a white shirt and shoes. "That's me," Hinata whispers.

"Yes, that's when you were so young, my baby, my little girl." The word 'when' hits her like a ton of bricks. It puts a distinction on the past and present, effectively putting a barrier between the father and daughter. It's almost as if he's saying: "You're not my daughter anymore."

"I'm still your little girl" Hinata mumbles, leaning her head on his shoulder. She breathes in his scent, letting the warm scent she's associated with him surround her.

He doesn't reply. He just puts his left arm around her, a sideways hug. And something about that action causes sorrow to build up and overflow like lava from a volcano. She finds herself trying to explain her actions, justifying them with whispering "I'm sorry I left. I just didn't want to be here no more. I didn't mean to hurt you, Hanabi, and Neji. I just wanted to get away from Gaara. I'm so sorry." she paused, sucking in a huge gulp of air. " And mom, oh God- I'm not trying to replace mommy. I loved, love her even now with her gone. Kurenai. I love her too. She's not mommy, though. But she treats me like her daughter, so that makes her my mom in a way right? And her family would become mine too, right? "

Hinata's hysteric by the time she finished up. The consequential weight of her decisions to leave Konoha when she was thirteen finally caught up with her, breaking the wall that she tried to uses a shield from these emotions. And now she's a blubbering mess. "You must hate me."

Hiashi pulls her closer, wrapping his arms around her. "It's okay, Hinata."

Her head is against his chest, and she can feel the rumbling of his words through her ears. It's a soothing feeling that sort of slows the panic that had begun to build within her. "I'm sorry, daddy." The words are repeated like a mantra as he smoothed her hair down with a hand.

He answers every apology with an mantra of his own. "I forgive you."

Eventually she calms down and they resume watching the home video, only to be joined by Neji, Hanabi, Haveah, and Havana.

As soon as the twins see the beautiful Hyuga matriarch, they instantly become intrigued. "Who's that pretty lady with Grandpa, mommy?" the girls question, eyes never leaving the flat television screen (they'd upgraded from the computer to the computer screen to television when the company within the room grew.).

"That's my mommy." Hinata smiled.

...

Christmas Day

With Gaara

Haveah and Havana ran around with the green-eyed little boy he'd come to know as Hayden. The children were cheering and smiling as they opened their presents.

Presents. His children had got so many presents. They probably wouldn't play with them all, but he knew they were a irrevocable reality. The Sabaku and Hyuga families had been making up for the many things they'd missed since the girls had been on the earth.

And that meant overcompensation. Everyone was showering the girls with gifts, trying to outdo the previous Christmas and birthday's that the girls had. Even still the girls simply fawned over the gifts that their mother had given them.

"When did you go shopping?" he asks. He doesn't remember her leaving the house. She had been in her room most of the time.

"There are online stores, Gaara." They are standing side by side, and even though he can't see them rolling, he knows that her eyes are rolling. And he can't help but smile. " Besides, we wrote the letters to Santa in November."

"They like your stuff better you know. You know everything about them there is to know," He's a little upset. He's missed out on so much and he can't help but feel like he's a disadvantage. He doesn't know his children.

Hinata sighs, her head shaking. "This isn't a contest."

"We love you Jakey." The girls scream as they run to Jacob hugging the man tightly.

He flinches as he watches the interaction. he can't help but feel a little jealous, but he shrugs it off as he turns to Hinata, who'd just grabbed his hand.

"Come with me." He follows her to their bedroom. She rummages in her closet for a second. Eventually she comes out with a large book. It takes him a few seconds to realize what she has with her. It's a photo album.

"I know that you've missed out on a lot, but now that we're here. I don't want you to miss anything else." She smiles, opening the album and hands it to him. He flips through. There are pictures of the girls and her from the time of the birth until now, the more recent pictures containing members of his family and her Hyuga family with the girls. "There are empty pages in the back for new memories."

"Thank you." He smiles. " Now it's time for your present. " He grabs her hand and heads her back down stairs where they grab their coats and move outside. The walk for a while and stop. " Close your eyes."

She does as she is told no questions asked. And he gets into position.

"Okay, now open them."

Outside

With Gaara and Hinata

The pale lavender eyes open only to widen a fraction of a second later. Hinata was staring at him. He totally understood. With what he was doing, how could she not widen her lavender eyes and part her lips in shock. He was down on one of his was a black velvet box in his hand.

"Gaara ,what are you doing,'' she was confused. One minute they were walking amongst the falling snow. The next Gaara was on bended knee. He opened the box.

There was a ring in the black box. The ring was simple yet beautiful. The design encompassed two hearts lying horizontally whirled together, a turquoise pierce in the middle of each heat as well as between them.

"This is a promise ring." He paused, swallowing hard . "This is a promise that I'll try to get you to trust me. To fully love me again."

"Gaara I do love and trust you."

"No, you don't. You don't trust me. I understand why, but it hurt ." He smiles, his face tight with sadness.

"I'm sorry." She says, it's a poor attempt to alleviate his pain. But it does nothing. She's only apologizing for his benefit.

"Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Its all me." He says "Do you accept my promise to love, to hold to worship you and our daughters until I die "

She stares at him, no words escaping because she can't find any. "Babe, what do you say? My knees are fucking killing me." She smiles as he swears, but still can't speak. So she smiles brighter and nods her confirmation. She accept his promise.

And the ring, which is nice to.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The words are unspoken, but each person know that the other is thinking it. A kiss seals the deal.

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

~Bruce Lee

I hope this has begun to close the open ended issues that I've left unfixed. I haven't really reread my other chappies, so tell me if this doesn't fit or not. Thanks for favoriting, following , and putting my story on your alerts. Hopefully, this chapter makes up for my long Hiatus. If not, tell me and I'll rewrite it.

Thanks for reading! Thank you for your constant love and support. THANK YOU.

~Kurenai Cakes