Ch3: Just Give In
"Argentina!" Robin cheers, raising her bottle. The group clank their drinks together, and the bitter taste of regret swims down Robin's throat.
I can't believe what I've just gotten myself into.
"WOO!" Marshal calls.
She played along, though, acting excited. Everyone else seemed pumped about the trip, anyway, and she was already being enough of a bummer as of late. With everyone worrying about her and her non-existent 'insomnia', any more negativity and her own friends might not want to be around her. Then who would she be stuck with? Herself?
…no, she couldn't have that happen.
But, what was the point in having such close friends if she wasn't comfortable telling them the truth anyway? She knew she was just causing more misery for herself, but, well, at least she was sleeping again. On that subject, it was getting late, and Robin knew she was still catching up from all the sleep she'd lost the three days she'd stayed up consecutively.
She was first to leave, and no one stopped her. Even though she was back on a regular schedule, everyone was still concerned for her well-being. She got into a quick shower, and immediately went to bed afterwards.
When she passed out on the couch, she didn't recall dreaming about anything, really. Ted said she was passed out for two hours- that's not long enough to even go into dream-sleep, right? But as she begins to remember more of the day, she can see herself sitting on the bus on the way home. She was sitting there, talking to herself…
While she was in the middle of trying to remember just what happened before she'd ended up on the couch, Robin ended up falling asleep. With those thoughts in mind, she began to dream about what had transpired.
A hallucination of herself had just told her not to fall asleep, and real Robin panicked at the sight. She stood up and shoved her way to the front of the bus, which was being driven by… a walrus? Was this the dream exaggerating the strangeness of the situation, or had she actually hallucinated a sea-mammal driving a bus? It didn't matter- she simply pushed the doors open, and stumbled out. Robin landed head- first on the side walk when she missed her step down due to her slowed reaction time. Someone picked her up…
Ted picked her up.
What are the odds that he was actually there right as she'd gotten off the bus? Then again, she was heading home, and she and did live in the same apartment with him. At the time of the event, though, she hadn't even considered this. She's pretty sure all she was concerned with at that moment was getting as far away from her hallucination as possible.
Then Ted dragged her inside, and she fell asleep.
…dragged her inside and she fell asleep.
…why wasn't the dream doing anything?
She finally remembered what had happened, but in the dream world Robin was still face-down on the sidewalk. Ted saw her, but just kept walking. This isn't right. This isn't how it really went. Robin thought, but the dream was on it's own path now.
Finally, she's helped up. As she meets the eyes of the kind stranger who'd helped her…
"Ah!" Robin shrieks, and stammers backwards.
"Is that how you thank a lady for helping you after you fall?" Dream Robin asks, placing her hands on her hips.
Robin was speechless, and her legs were stiff. She couldn't move.
"Honestly, and even after that rude man just passed you by." Dream Robin continues. "But you should know by now that I'm the only one who can pick you back up on your feet. No one else is going to be there for you. In the end, it's just me."
"No!" Robin screams, and finds herself, once again, upright in her bed and gasping for air.
This was insane. This was ridicules! How much longer did she have to put up with the torment of these dreams? She had to tell someone. Robin had to tell at least one of the other four, except, she didn't want to be a burden on any of them. Not only that, but she already knew what these dreams were about, and, well…
It was a little embarrassing to admit.
It wasn't even morning yet. Robin must have fallen asleep for three or four hours, seeing as though it was nearly midnight. She sighs to herself, and lays back down. She knew from last time that avoiding it only made things worse, but going on this trip with the group was the last thing she needed. She couldn't put this off- she had to get out of this. Now.
"Scherbatski?" Barney answers, confused at the sight of Robin at his door.
She'd barged right past him- not waiting for him to invite her in. Robin knew he'd try to stop her from telling him what she need to say, and knew she had to be firm with him to get her point across.
"No, it's fine. Please enter my house in the middle of the night. You aren't disturbing me." Barney sarcastically remarks, then shuts the door.
"Barney I can't go to Argentina." Robin sighs.
Barney raises a brow, then takes a seat next to her.
"I'm sorry, and I appreciate your offer, but I just... Can't. And I can't tell you why."
Barney continued to question her about her 'insomnia', then brings up her ex- whom she'd completely forgotten about until Barney brought it up. Not like it mattered. Robin was sure to clarify that neither was an issue, and that she did NOT want him to keep prying. Before he could ask her anything else, she'd stormed out just the same as she'd stormed in, and shuts the door behind her.
The rest of the night was pretty peaceful for Robin, and she was actually able to get some legitimate rest in. So much rest, in fact, that she'd managed to sleep into the early afternoon until being awakened by a phone-call from, speak of the devil-
"Lily." Robin answers, half-relieved, but half just as nervous as she was last night.
"Hey Robin, I didn't wake you or anything, did I?"
Yes. "No." Robin lies. She was about to load all her problems off on the girl. It's best she not trouble her any more than she's going to. "What's up?"
"Marshal's gotta call up the entire family and tell them all that he can't make it up to Saint Cloud this weekend. I figure we could have some girl-time while he deals with all that drama." Lily says. "Meet me at the park in an hour?"
Robin looks at the alarm clock on her night stand. 12:30? It's the middle of the day and I'm going to roll out of bed looking like I just- well, rolled out of bed. She thought to herself. It'll take me at least an hour to compose myself… "I have a- thing, right now, but I could probably be at the park by 2 if that still works for you."
"Oh, it'll work." Lily scoffs. "Trust me, Marshal has a lot of family he needs to call."
Robin smiles. "Thanks. See you then." She hangs up the phone.
On the other end…
"Who was that?" Marshal asks, emerging from the bedroom.
"Just Robin." Lily shrugs.
"You… do know that I called the family up last night, don't you?" Marshal questions.
Lily acts surprised. "Is that who you were talking to? Well, I had no idea! Guess it's too late to change plans now." She shrugs, gets up from the couch, and pecks Marshal on the lips. "I'll be leaving before two." She calls from the hall before shutting the door to the restroom, leaving a confused Marshal standing by himself.
In the mean time, Robin had just finished brushing through the jungle of her hair. No matter how much conditioner she'd applied she couldn't seem to tear through the results of her tossing-and-turning from last night.
She applies some eye-makeup to keep herself from appearing tired, and hails a cab from outside. She assumed Ted must be at work- seeing as though it was the middle of a day on a Friday, then resumed to wonder why Lily wasn't in class herself.
"I hired a substitute for today so I could spend some time alone with Marshal before the five of us head out." Lily clarifies when Robin asks after they'd arrived.
"So, why are you in the park with me?" Robin chuckles.
Lily places a hand on Robin's leg. "Because something's going on, and I'm worried about you."
Robin sighs. "We've been over this." She reminds. "Insomnia, not sleeping, yada, yada- we've been through all of this."
"Not all of it." Lily remarks. "When Ted and I offered to help you just ran out on us. You're hiding something, Robin, and a lot of us are really, really concerned for your health."
"Barney…" I grumble.
"I'm not too sure if-"
"He told you, didn't he?" Robin finishes, ignoring her previous comment. "He told you all I wasn't coming to Argentina and now you're all worried."
Lily now moves her hand to my shoulder. "He mentioned something about not wanting to give up your ticket, but he never really said you for-sure weren't going to be joining us." Lily reminds herself. "Why aren't you coming sweetie?" She rubs her friend's arm. "Please tell me."
She could try to resist, but this was Lily. Besides, she was planning on telling her anyway. Now seemed as good a time as any.
"Alright." Robin nods hesitantly. "I'll… I'll tell you."
Lily awaits patiently for her explanation."
"So, you already know that I haven't exactly been sleeping all too well this past week."
Lily nods.
"Well… I wasn't exactly making the right sleeping choices either." She admits.
Lily cocks her head and narrows her eyes in confusion.
"I'm not… It's not a matter of some sleeping disorder at work here. I was keeping myself up." Robin admits. "I forced myself to stay awake because, …because…"
Lily gives Robin's arm a light squeeze for reassurance.
"because I've been having these disturbing dreams as of late." She seems to spit out all at once.
"Oh, sweetie I'm sorry." Lily responds with empathy. "You know it might help if you talk to someone about these dreams, maybe, to get them off your mind." Lily suggests. "And… just so you know, you can trust me. I won't say a word about this to anyone if you don't want me to."
"Thank you, Lily." Robin says in relief. "And, I think maybe I do need to talk about my dreams, but not right now. You've been so supportive and everything, but do you think you could wait until tomorrow for me to, you know, gather my thoughts?"
The red-head smiles and nods. "Of course. You take all the time you need, and just tell me when you're ready. All you have to do is say the word, and I'll listen."
"It means so much that you're here for me Lil." Robin smiles. "Thank you." She embraces her friend in a hug.
Later, after Lily had returned home…
"Ahg! Why won't she just tell me?!"
Marshal watches as she enters the room. "Why won't who tell you what baby?"
"Robin! I'm trying to be all patient but I just HAVE TO KNOW." Lily stresses.
Marshal pauses. "Have to know what?"
Lily huffs loudly as she sits down. "Nothing. I'm not supposed to tell you. Robin's having strange dreams. Nothing."
"What?" Marshal puzzles.
"Nothing." Lily repeats. "As far as your concerned, you don't know anything." She clarifies.
"Okay."
"As far as I'm concerned I don't really know anything either." She sighs. "I knew there was something up with her, but she's being so defensive. I'll just have to try something else."
Robin was also just getting back to the apartment, and found Ted was already back. After chatting for a while, the two decide to head down to MacLarens early together. They sat at a booth in the corner while waiting to claim their usual spot; where a couple was currently enjoying dinner.
"So how do you think Barney got those tickets anyway?" Ted asks, not sure what else to talk about. It was still a little awkward between him and Robin, but, they could fake their way through it in the mean time, as long as there weren't any awkward silences or bad situations for them to get into.
Robin shrugs. "I guess he never really said, did he?"
"That's so like him, though." Ted points out. "Knowing Barney I probably don't want to know where he got those tickets."
Robin smiles at this. "Well, hopefully you won't run into too much trouble while you're there."
Though she wasn't paying attention to his reaction, Ted was staring at her with his eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute. What do you mean? Aren't you...?"
She shakes her head.
"You're not coming?" Ted clarifies, making sure they're on the same page.
"Sorry, Ted. It's just- it's complicated, but it's best I stay behind." She playfully punches him on the shoulder. "You guys will have fun though."
"Uh, no we won't!" He bursts. "Come on Robin, what are we going to do without you? That's like telling the Scooby gang that Buffy isn't coming with them on a vampire hunt."
She gives him a half confused, half concerned look. "I thought Scoobie Doo was a mystery cartoon."
"Different show." He explains. "And not the point- what I'm trying to say is, this trip won't be the same without you Robin."
She looks down. "Ah- I know this is a let down to you guys, and I'm-"
"A huge let down." Ted corrects. "How bummed do you think Lily's gonna be when she finds out she won't have her best gal-pal with her on the trip?"
Robin pauses, mouth ajar. That's right. Lily did seem pretty disappointed when I told her.
Ted freezes. "You already told her?!"
Now that he mentions it, Barney seemed like he wasn't happy about me canceling either.
"Oh god, don't tell me I'm the last to find out about this." Ted groans.
Robin picks up her head, just now tuning into what Ted has said. "What- no. Well, actually maybe. Probably. Yes." She decides. "But, if you all think that I should go…"
He sighs, disappointed that he was last to know, but still sympathetic. He takes hold of her hands. "If you say you can't come, then I understand. But, I know I speak for everyone when I say we really, really need you with us."
She smiles sweetly. What the hell was I thinking? They're my friends- of course they're going to be supportive of me. There's no reason I shouldn't go on this trip. "Okay." She replies, slightly hesitant, but nods her head as if convincing herself she were sure of her decision. "Okay. I'll, I'll re-join you guys to Argentina." She smiles.
"YES!" Ted cheers. "Robin Scherbatski is back in the hunt!"
"Not slaying any vampires." She clarifies.
"Close enough!"
She laughs a little. "Let me just give Lily a call and let her know I'm back on for the trip." She explains. "Save my seat."
He points at her, as if to say 'you got it', then leans back in his seat.
She steps outside the bar, phone in hand. Was she sure this was the right choice…? …yes. She had to have confidence in her friends. She dials the number.
"Hey Lil." She replies, when Lily picks up. "Um, about those dreams I was having…"
"Yes?!" Lily answers, trying not to sound too excited.
"I'll tell you about them after we arrive in Argentina."
"You're coming?!" Lily says, sounding even more excited. "Robin that's great news! Wow, that's so good to hear. What made you change your mind?"
She peers inside the window at Ted. "I took some time to look at the situation, and decided it's nothing I can't get through without my friends."
She could swear she heard Lily tearing up with joy on the other end.
"I'm so glad you're coming with us. And don't worry- we can set aside some time whenever you like to talk about what's been bugging you."
She nods (even though Lily couldn't see her). "Thanks."
"So, See you at MacLarens soon?"
"Ted and I got here early, but we'll be seeing you guys here later."
"Alright, see you then!" She says, and just before she hangs up. "Oh! Is it alright that I tell Barney you're back on for the trip?"
Robin laughs. "That's fine. Bye Lily."
"See you later- bye!"
That was it, then. She was on this trip now and there was no getting out of it anymore. And she was glad it was that way.
She just hoped she wouldn't regret the decision by the time they're already there.