0o0o0o0o0o0
Apologies, interruptions and responsibilities
0o0o0o0o0o0
Zuko stomped off towards the gates. I tried waiting and 'giving him space', as per Piandao's direction, but that's really not my style. So I discreetly got up and followed him. I caught sight of him a long way down the street – striding away fast on his long legs. There were a few more people milling around today. I lost sight of him once and had to squint into the distance to spot him. He put his hand on a stone gate attached to a big circular stone building. It glowed briefly, opened and then closed quickly behind him. The sign on the door said designated firebending training area. Non-benders prohibited. Because I was a bender, I tried opening it, but the door had one of those crazy lock things, like at the airtemples – it could only be opened by a firebender. Boo!
I heard a frustrated yell and the whooshing of fast and furious fireballs from beyond the door – so I could guess what he was doing. I started looking for ways around this bloody door and walked around the perimeter of the building.. I came across another door around the back, and next to it was a small window – just big enough to see out of. It was probably used for checking out who was at the door, once upon a time. I ended up looking through it. Zuko was in the centre and blasting of fireballs in every direction, in a way that I found rather mesmerizing. Mmmmhhhh.
I was equally captivated and worried by the display. I've always loved watching Zuko firebend and he obviously needed to let off some of this angry energy. But he hadn't bent with that much ferocity in a while and I didn't think it was such a good idea. Dr Yang said he could bend again, but she said he should do nothing too taxing. This was extremely taxing. I wasn't surprised to hear a sharp hissing intake of breath after the sound of fireballs stopped. He clutched his chest and grimaced for a second. I was about to knock on the door loudly and demand he let me in – giving him space be damned – when I heard a surprising voice. Jeong Jeong's. He said something like very impressive display prince Zuko and Zuko gave a yelp of surprise.
Jeong Jeong and Aang were squatting on the sides lines in what looked like a rather uncomfortable position. Aang said hey Zuko, are you here to take over the lesson? in an especially hopeful and optimistic voice. Zuko said he wasn't and Aang's face fell dramatically. Aang asked what Zuko was doing there and Zuko started to doing the awkward-trying-to-come-up-with-a-plausible-sounding-lie-and-failing thing that he does.
Jeong Jeong interrupted him and said that the Avatar should not be asking such questions during their lesson. Aang needed to be silent, concentrate and widen his stance if he hoped to master this technique. Aang grumbled something that sounded like you're not even looking at Jeong Jeong's back, but complied. Zuko, looking to divert the subject from his tantrum, asked what technique they were doing.
Breathing Aang deadpanned. Jeong Jeong snapped yes breathing at Aang. He started to elaborate that breathing and self discipline and self control were absolutely crucial for mastering firebending. Aang rolled his eyes behind Jeong Jeong. Jeong Jeong said do not roll your eyes at this young Avatar! Aang looked somewhat startled. Jeong Jeong started saying to Zuko (as Zuko was the Avatar's previous firebending instructor and Jeong Jeong was sure he would agree) that he had been trying to impress upon Aang the immense destructive power of firebending. Jeong Jeong went on in this vein for sometime.
Fire, in the wrong hands, is destructive. That much power, in unprepared, immature and impulsive hands, caused catastrophe. Firebending was a terrible burden and not a gift and the Avatar needed to take this seriously and close his eyes and meditate.
Jeong Jeong closed his eyes, but Aang did not. He looked pleadingly at Zuko and mouthed save me and started gesturing at him. Zuko shrugged to indicate that he didn't understand the gestures. Aang made a frustrated little face and used one hand to mime a fat belly and the other to mime tea drinking. Zuko guessed My uncle? In a perplexed sounding voice. Aang nodded enthusiastically. Jeong Jeong opened one eye and said what was that Prince Zuko? Aang started frantically miming behind Jeong Jeong and Zuko seemed to get it (after a very long and awkward pause). He said, sounding a bit perplexed My Uncle...wants to talk ..to you…you Jeong Jeong… not Aang….right now. Jeong Jeong also looked perplexed, but then nodded, got up and told Aang to keep meditating til he got back. Then he left out the door that Zuko had entered.
As soon as he was gone, Aang burst forth with many complaints about Jeong Jeong. He flopped down on the benches dramatically and told Zuko all about how Jeong Jeong had woken him up so early, just to drag him here at the crack of dawn and meditate. He wouldn't let Aang do any proper bending and kept saying that Aang wasn't ready and lacked self control, even though Aang had defeated the firelord and was the Avatar. In short, everything was terrible. Zuko sat on the benches next to Aang and listened to his stream of complaints. He said that Jeong Jeong was right and this stuff was important and Aang would have up learn it someday.
Aang frowned and then asked if he could learn it from Zuko instead because Zuko was a much more fun firebending teacher than Jeong Jeong. Zuko smiled at being called 'more fun' but declined. He would be too busy to be Aang's firebending teacher now. Also Jeong Jeong was trying to teach Aang self control. In case it had slipped Aang's notice, self control wasn't really Zuko's strong point. He had come in here to have a big fat tantrum after all. Aang nodded in comprehension and said oh that's what that was as if he had only just realized.
There was a slight awkward pause and Aang asked what Zuko was upset about. Zuko shrugged and said it didn't matter and Aang didn't need to worry. Aang did not accept that. He said that he was the Avatar and Zuko could tell him. Zuko said that Aang probably wouldn't understand. Aang said he might, if Zuko just told him. He'd had 112 years of experience and plenty of past lifetimes – and in one of those past lives he was Zuko's great grandfather after all, and it was only natural that Aang would want to help out his great…. Zuko's head popped up and he said if you call me your great grandson right now, I'll go tell Jeong Jeong you were mediating in the wrong stance and you'll have to do this morning's lesson all over again quite stroppily. Aang was silenced.
The silence became awkward and it was clear that Zuko felt a little bad about snapping at him, because he apologized for that and said that he was just a little stressed and his Uncle had just given him some rather alarming news. Aang asked what news? Zuko was quiet. Aang started saying come on, just tell me already! Zuko huffed and said oh, you're going to find out anyway. My Uncle wants me to be firelord. He added happy now? with some disgruntlement.
It appeared that Aang missed the sarcasm in that last question because he said that was great news! Now Aang would be the Avatar and Zuko would be the Firelord and they could do really cool stuff together and it would be awesome. Zuko said it wouldn't be awesome, bluntly. He said there would be so much pressure and expectation and responsibility. His Uncle had just pretty much told him that he would have to be firelord and Zuko didn't feel ready. Aang asked, after a slight pause, What makes you think I wouldn't understand that? Aang said quietly that he understood all too well. He knew all about what it felt like to have a giant responsibility forced on you when you didn't feel ready for it.
Zuko looked up at him in surprise. Aang's words seemed to snap him out of his self pitying mope. Aang said that he also hadn't felt ready to be the Avatar. He knew exactly how Zuko felt. Zuko asked him what he had done, when the monks had told him – how did he deal with it? Aang said he had tried to pretend it wasn't true for a long time, but that didn't work. Aang trailed off sadly and then said that Zuko must know how Aang got in the iceberg in the first place with a shrug. But Zuko didn't know the full story (only I knew that) and he said as much.
Aang looked a little shamefaced but he did tell him. He told him all about how everyone, all his friends had started treating him differently when they found out he was the Avatar. Everyone except Monk Gyatso that is. And then the elder monks wanted to send Aang away, because he was too attached to Monk Gyasto and needed to train as the Avatar. Aang hadn't wanted any of that at all, he hadn't wanted to be sent away from the Southern Air Temple and he hadn't wanted for everything to change. And he hated being the Avatar right then. He hated how it made people look at him differently and how he suddenly had so much responsibility and wasn't allowed to have fun anymore. So he ran away. Aang told Zuko all about the storm and ending up in the iceberg and then waking up 100 years later.
Zuko listened to Aang's story and then said quietly that he never knew, he always thought that Aang loved being the Avatar, for the most part. Aang said he did like it a lot more now, but at the time, when he had first been told, it had seemed like nothing but trouble and responsibility and hardship. Aang imagined that's what being firelord looked like now to Zuko. Zuko said perhaps it did, but he didn't think Aang's solution of running away and going to live in an iceberg was going to help him (with just a twinge of sarcasm). Aang muttered that it hadn't helped him either.
Aang said that he'd been thinking a bit about it. The running away that is. Ever since I had shouted at Aang about his tendency to run away, Aang hadn't really stopped thinking about it. He'd come to realise he couldn't keep running away anymore, because that didn't make all the things he was running from go away. They were always waiting for him when he got back. Aang said he realized that he could only put things off for so long…and then whatever he was avoiding was going to happen to him anyway.
Zuko nodded and said so you are saying that I should just graciously accept being firelord now because it's going to happen anyway? Aang said softly that he thought being firelord wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Zuko said that it could be. If Zuko screwed up as firelord, it could plunge the firenation into a civil war or even worse, restart the war on the rest of the world. We'd all fought too hard for a peace to have something like that happen.
Aang said that the war was over and we had won, and it wouldn't be restarted. Zuko shrugged and said that Aang had defeated Ozai and we had stopped the airship fleet – but the firenation still had a huge military and lots of people who thought exactly like Ozai and maintaining a peace wasn't going to be easy. Aang nodded and looked a little sad.
Zuko said that his main objection was just that he didn't feel ready or adequate to lead the country right now. If he was to be firelord, he'd want to do it when he was older and could do a proper job of it. He didn't want to let anybody down. The firenation had huge problems and would face even more problems and would need a massive restructuring of everything! Zuko had no idea how to go about dealing with any of that. Aang said that for what it was worth, he thought Zuko would be a good firelord – even if he was being a Mr Grumpypants about it now – because Zuko was worried about all this stuff already and that showed he cared. Zuko muttered thanks Aang grumpily, but then he added that simply caring probably wasn't going to be enough to fix the country.
Aang flicked him in the forehead to get his attention and told him he had to stop being so negative. Zuko looked up a bit startled at being flicked in the forehead. Aang said that when he had hated being the Avatar, Monk Gyatso had taught him to look on the brightside and would make him list positive things about being the Avatar. Looking on the brightside really helped. Aang was trying to get a smile out of Zuko and he got up and flitted around and started singing this song about Always looking on the bright side of life. Zuko waved him off and told him the singing really isn't necessary– but he did say this with a smile. So Aang sat back down looking satisfied.
Zuko said fine – what's the bright side of being the Avatar then? Aang started listing all the things he liked about it. Everybody had to listen to him and respect his opinion. Zuko nodded and said that was a pretty good perk. Aang said that as the Avatar, he always got free stuff wherever he went. Zuko said free stuff is good. Aang said that he got to travel and meet heaps of great new people and have adventures. Zuko said those were all good things. Aang said that normally people in the earth kingdom and the water tribes just adored him and adoration was nice. Zuko concurred that adoration was a nice thing.
But he said that none of these perks would work for being firelord. The firelord didn't get free stuff or adventures, people in the rest of the world hated the firenation, and nobody ever listened to Zuko, ever. Aang said that wasn't true and he listened. Zuko gave him a Look. I listen… sometimes Aang amended.
Aang thought for a second and said that Roku said that the Avatar could get any girl he wanted, that would work for the firelord too. That was a great perk. Zuko snorted and said he wouldn't want that at all. Aang was perplexed and Zuko explained. He said that he wouldn't want someone to be with him -just because he was the firelord.He added that he knew it was vain and stupid and probably impossible, but he would much prefer to be loved for himself and not his position. And surely Aang wouldn't want a girl to be with him, just because he was the Avatar? Aang looked thoughtful for a second and then said no, I wouldn't want that either.
There was a slight pause and the Aang said there must be some upside to being firelord. He thought deeply for a second and then said that 100 years ago – the firelord's birthday was like the biggest public holiday ever! And everyone had such a fun time and there'd been fireworks and festivals and it was awesome! Having that sort of holiday for your birthday would be great. Zuko made a grumpy face, but with effort he schooled his features. I know Zuko's views on parties – but he could see that Aang was really trying to cheer him up and he didn't want to boo Aang's suggestion to his face, so he said something non-committal about that being nice.
Aang seemed encouraged by this success and he said it was now Zuko's turn to come up with something good about being firelord. Zuko looked imploringly at the ceiling and asked do I have to? Aang nodded in affirmation. Zuko sighed and thought and huffed and rolled his eyes and said he would be able to eat as many fireflakes as he wanted from here on out and no one would be able to stop him. Aang said see there is a brightside after all!
-?-
Aang and Zuko decided to head back to the house so that Aang could have breakfast. Jeong Jeong had said that Aang would meditate better on an empty stomach – but now Aang was starving .They walked together and I followed from a distance. I didn't rush up and join them either. They'd had a nice moment and I felt a little weird about intruding now. But Zuko glanced behind a couple of times and I know that he saw me.
-?-
Aang got settled in front of the pastries and began munching away happily. I pretended that I had just found them and sat with them. Zuko gave me a look, but Aang looked happy to see me and offered me various pastries and told me they were really good and I should try some. Aang's pastry joy was very short lived because Jeong Jeong came up behind him, and asked in his melodramatic voice, why was Aang not training?
Aang dropped his pastries and had a startled rabbiroo look about his face. Zuko interjected and said that he had allowed Aang a break and had invited him back here. Then he and Jeong Jeong had a small staring competition, which I think Zuko won, because Jeong Jeong said very well. And he told Aang that they would resume training tomorrow morning at sunrise and Aang had better meditate on fire's destructive power in the meantime. Aang said he would, but he wasn't fooling anyone. We all know that's a lie.
-?-
There was a tap on the veranda door and a small cough and the three of us looked around. Suki was there. She said she had been looking for Zuko everywhere and announced that she had brought someone who wanted to see him. Ty Lee poked her head out from behind Suki and smiled uncertainly at him. Zuko smiled back at her and made a 'come here' gesture. She made a little delighted noise and did a small graceful flip over to us and then she flung herself at him and gave him a big hug. I was sitting right next to him and I nearly got her foot in my face – such was her enthusiasm for the hug.
I pointed this out and got a bit scoldy. Ty Lee nodded, then said it was nice to see me again and flopped on me with a great deal of exuberance and gave me a big squishy hug instead. I think I must have made a very comical, surprised expression when she did this, because Zuko took one look at my face over Ty Lee's shoulder and then hid a smile behind his hand.
She turned back to Zuko and tried to apologize for everything. But he cut her off before she got far along into her apology. Zuko told her he'd never been angry at her to begin with. He knew what it was like…with Azula. He didn't blame her. She smiled widely at him and hugged him again. At that point Aang interjected with an Oi! What's going on here? Aang was very perplexed by this turn of events.
Aang had leapt to his feet and away from Ty Lee when she arrived. He was looking at her with shocked eyes and was glancing between all of us like we were mad. Aang was only person Ty Lee hadn't hugged today (I presume Suki had already gotten her hug). I assumed that this not-hugged status was rapidly about to be remedied because Ty Lee got up quickly and wiped her eyes unnecessarily and walked towards Aang. He assumed an airbending stance immediately. Suki intervened and told him what she had told me- she'd allowed Ty Lee into the Kyoshi warriors and thought we all should give her a chance etc.
Ty Lee stood in front of Aang and apologized sincerely for all the attacking us that she had done with Azula and asked if Aang could forgive her and if they could be friends. She came up really close to him and said she really, really wanted to be friends. Aang looked at her and then suddenly, he turned away shyly and started rubbing his neck a little nervously. I realized why pretty quickly.
Ty Lee has…err…a rather substantial chest. She has been blessed in the boob department in a way I have not been. Not that I am jealous or anything, but seriously – her boobs are huge! And because of the height difference between her and Aang – his eyeline is currently at boob height. Aang was preoccupied with looking anywhere but her boobs – but every time he glanced at her, his eyes were inevitably drawn boob-wards. She was oblivious and kept babbling.
Aang interrupted her and said he forgave her quickly. (Thank goodness – after all the shenanigans we have had over the F word, if Aang denied forgiveness to Ty Lee, I might have had another rant at him.) Ty Lee made a joyous noise and pulled Aang into a squishy hug and mushed his face right into her ample bosom. Aang seemed rather pleased with this turn of events.
Boys!
Ty Lee then seemed to notice that someone was missing. She glanced around with some confusion and then said wait a minute, where's Mai? This comment was addressed to Zuko, but he also looked around in confusion, before he looked back at Ty Lee and said that he thought Mai would be with her. Ty Lee said she wasn't and she'd always thought Mai would be with him. Zuko said why would she be with me? with some confusion. He added he'd always assumed that they'd been locked up together.
Ty Lee tutted and said of course Azula wouldn't lock them up together. She always liked to make things…difficult. Mai had been sent to the Azulon's Tower and Ty Lee had been sent to Iron Cove. She came over and sat next to Zuko again and said quietly Azula wanted me close. So it would be…more convenient…. for her to visit me. Her voice shook a little here and Zuko put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a little reassuring squeeze. She took two big deep gulps of air and seemed to shake it off and said I'm okay in a big rush. She didn't get off so bad and Mai had it worse. Zuko's eyes widened in alarm and he asked what had happened to Mai.
Ty Lee said that we had to remember that Azula was really mad. And Mai's parents were already in so much trouble for losing control over New Ozai – I mean Omashu- she corrected herself. Mai's parents were under house arrest anyway. Azula had them all transferred to the Azulon's Tower, so the whole family could share the experience. She said Mai and her mother have been locked up together for months with a great deal of drama, as if this was the worst thing in the entire world.
Zuko winced and said that was too mean, even for Azula. And Ty Lee agreed. She added that the Warden at the Azulon's Tower let Mai and her family have letter writing privileges – as a favour to her Uncle. In her last letter, she said that none of them had killed each other yet, but it was a close thing and Ty Lee was only 70% sure she was being sarcastic. Ty Lee then smiled brightly and said but it's okay. Now that all the prisoners of war were being released, Mai would be out of prison and on her way back here by now. Zuko's face registered a panicked expression. He didn't say anything for a second and looked like he was doing a difficult sum in his head. Then he swore and got up quickly.
Ty Lee was confused by this and said Zuuuuuuko? Really drawling out the 'u' sound in a way that annoyed me. Zuko stammered/yammered that he hadn't…he didn't think to… He coughed and started again and said that everyone who was captured on day of black sun and the kysohi warriors were released on special dispensation. But…. He trailed off. You forgot Mai! Ty Lee finished for him, her tone aghast. Zuko said that he had a lot of his mind lately, and he'd been shot by lightning defensively. Ty Lee said she didn't think that was going to cut it with Mai. He was in so much trouble, it wasn't even funny! Zuko said he knew that with resignation. Then he said that he had to go talk to his Uncle and left abruptly.
-?-
Ty Lee shook her head and said Mai is never going to let him live this one down under her breath. I felt the need to defend Zuko from friggin Gloomy Hairbun's theoretical ire. I said that he really had a lot on his mind lately and he had been very severely injured. Ty Lee said she totally got that, but Mai was not the understanding type. Ty Lee said that if it were me and I had been forgotten in prison by Zuko, I'd probably be as mad as all hell too. I had to concede this point. I don't think Zuko would ever forget me in prison, but if he did, he would never hear the end of it.
Ty Lee said I shouldn't look so worried and Zuko was used to being in trouble with Mai and they never made it through a couple of days without have a big blow out over something. So he could more than deal with the barrage of gloomy anger heading his way. This did not assuage me. Just the thought of Gloomy Hairbuns, herself, heading Zuko's way makes me exceptionally cross. I mean I feel bad for her that she got forgotten in prison. But seriously! What did he even see in her? She's so friggin gloomy and she's got those bloody hairbuns and knives and that's it!
She's just so ….urgh!
I mean…I still haven't told him how I feel about him and we aren't going out or anything…but I just feel like he's still kind of …mine. He's mine and I don't want to have to share him with friggin Gloomy Hairbuns!
I wanted to get Zuko alone so that we could have a big talk about everything that had happened this morning. But now the house was full of people and he had just strode off to go save Gloomy Hairbuns from her mother and I couldn't see how we were going to get a moment together in the near future. Maybe I could pull him aside for a "healing session" later. I wanted to tell him that it was alright and fine to want to help Gloomy Hairbuns and let her out of prison, but that if he wanted anything else from Miss Gloomy and her ridiculous amount of knives – I was certainly going to have something to say about that!
Suki reminded Ty Lee gently that they were meant to be doing a Chi blocking lesson today. Now that Ty Lee had apologized to Zuko, they should really get back to that. Ty Lee made a delighted sounding noise and said oh yes, Chi blocking!...eerr where we up to? Suki said that she had been talking a lot about auras and chakras and cosmic-wosmic-energy in a flat tone of voice. I don't know how Suki said cosmic-wosmic and kept a straight face at the same time. Perhaps because she wins at life. I decided to sit in on the lesson, because I didn't have anything pressing to do and I really just wanted to understand how Ty Lee did it. Aang also seemed intrigued and asked if he could learn too and Ty Lee nodded eagerly.
Ty Lee got us to sit cross-legged and think on the cosmic-wosmic energy around us. I asked about the swirly-wirly-wibbly-wobbly energy she was getting the Kyoshi warriors to concentrate on the other night but Ty Lee said that swirly-wirly-wibbly-wobbly energy came after cosmic wosmic energy. She tried to explain the difference in these two energies to me, but the difference still eludes me. Aang seemed to understand perfectly and tried to help Ty Lee with her explanations. But they only both succeeded in confusing me and Suki.
Ty Lee wanted us to try and sense each other's auras – which was unsuccessful. So she said that instead we should try open our chakras. Aang's eyes leapt open in delight and he turned to her abruptly and said you believe in chakras! with a great deal of excitement. Ty Lee scoffed and said believe in them, of course she did! Chakras were real! Just like unicorns were real (though Ty Lee herself has never seen one.) Who wouldn't believe in chakras? Aang cast a sly glance at Suki and me and said oh just some people I know.
Ty Lee said she felt very sorry for those people indeed. Not believing in charkas was silly. Open chakras meant an open mind and we'd all need open minds for chi blocking. Aang was a bit enthusiastic at finding someone else who was into chakras. Aang asked her what else she believed in. He was rewarded with a long list.
This chi blocking lesson was going a little awry, but Ty Lee and Aang seemed to be having such a good time that neither Suki or I had the heart to interrupt them. Ty Lee would say she believed in something a bit ridiculous and Aang would say me too! After a while, Aang asked, with trepidation and a big worried glance at me, if Ty Lee believed in Lionturtles.
Ty Lee said of course she did! (no surprise there). Lionturtles were awesome. They were just so large and wise and beautiful. Aang looked so heart-breakingly happy right then. He must have been feeling so sad that none of us believed him about the lionturtle – to look this happy that Ty Lee believed in them. He jumped forward and gave her a huge hug and she squealed in delight and hugged him back.
Ty Lee said that Lionturtles were so mystical and she'd always wanted to see one, but she didn't think that the spirits would bless her that way. However she did have lots of dreams about them. Ty Lee was sure the dreams meant something. Mai used to tell her that it meant she was eating too much cheese before bed, but Ty Lee disagreed. Aang said that Ty Lee was right and her dreams must mean something. He still dreamed about his lionturtle after all, and maybe there was one out there for Ty Lee. Ty Lee was astonished that he had seen a lionturtle and he told her the whole story of his wacky lionturtle adventure – looking glad that he finally had a captivated audience at last.
Suki and I have both heard this story several times and sensing that no more chi-blocking was going to take place today – we both got up and went over to the tea table and left them to it. They were sitting cross-legged in front of each other and Aang was telling the story with a great deal of animation (big gestures and big facials) and Ty Lee was listening, entranced. I may have heard this story several times, but I have never heard it told with such delight. Aang has always explained it really defensively and sounded like he was making excuses. Now he sounded like he had done something that was the Lionturtle equivalent of riding the Unagi.
Just the mention of the lionturtle used to fill me with irritation. But seeing how happy Aang was talking about it to someone willing to listen, gave me pause for thought. The Lionturtle filled Aang with joy and perhaps I should not be so hard on him about it. It still annoys the crap out of me, but it makes him so happy. And maybe I shouldn't have judged him so harshly.
-?-
Zuko came back and flopped next to me, looking a bit frustrated and despondent. I got him the little bowl of fireflakes from the centre of the table and he smiled at me gratefully (as fireflakes always cheer him up when he makes that face). I asked how it went and he said that he hadn't been able to find his Uncle, but he had looked everywhere. Then he had ended up just writing to the Warden himself. He'd copied out the special dispensation for prisoner release Uncle had drawn up for the Kyoshi warriors. He'd wanted to get the language exactly right and had just changed the names. Then he'd borrowed the official seal and sent it off.
I asked how long he thought it would take and he sighed and said ages. Apparently Azulon's Tower was even further away from the capital than Boiling Rock. It was on one of the far islands. It was designed for the nobility under house arrest and other people who hadn't really committed any discernible crime, but needed to be kept out of sight and out of mind. And now Mai was stuck there with her mother and father and probably Tom Tom as well, in prison.
Zuko was feeling guilty because he never meant to get her into trouble. They'd broken up badly(Yay!) but he still thought of her as a friend. I was most glad to hear that he thinks that he and miss Gloomy are no longer an item and he does not seem to feel amorous towards her. He just seems mostly concerned and guilty. Zuko said he hadn't really thought about her in such a long time - but now he'd forgotten her in prison and she was going to be angrier than a charging Tigerdillo when he saw her next. She got pissed off for days if she even had to spend a weekend with her parents – being locked in prison with them would send her over there edge.
Is this what Gloomy Hairbuns and Zuko had in common? They both have messed-up, abusive parents? I asked what was so bad about her parents – in honest curiosity. Zuko shrugged and said he didn't know. Her dad was a politician and an arse-kisser, and her mum was a bit vapid, but mostly they were nice enough. The whole thing would frustrate Zuko a little bit because he didn't really understand the problem or why Mai got so mad at them. He would have given anything to see his mother again but Mai just complained about her mother if she ever spoke about her. She'd complain about both her parents all the time and about how bourgeois it was to have a nice stable family. It seemed to me like he said that last bit with a note of bitterness – I know how much he wanted a nice stable family. It wouldn't be the sort of thing he would ever complain about.
He wanted to change the topic and I was glad of this because I didn't want to talk about friggin Gloomy Hairbuns anymore than I had to. He asked what we had been doing in the meantime. I told him that we had been trying to have a chi blocking lesson but Ty Lee had got distracted. I gestured over at Aang and Ty Lee, who had moved on from joyously exclaiming over lionturtles and were now having what appeared to be a backwards-walk-over competition. They were trying to see who was more flexible.
Ty Lee and Aang noticed us staring at them and came back over to us. Ty Lee apologized for getting distracted from the lesson. She said that Aang would probably need separate lessons, if he really wanted to learn because he was way beyond us in terms of being able to sense the colourful-cosmic-swirly-wirly-wibbly-wobbly-feeling-schmeeling energy. Ty Lee thought he could probably sense an aura right now, if he really tried. Aang beamed at her and said well yours is pink! Ty Lee giggled and said that was cheating and he only knew that because she told him. No, he should try sense one of us. I know, try Zuko! Ty Lee suggested.
Zuko made an exceptionally disgruntled face at her and said why me? Ty Lee said that he just "projected" his the most. His was really easy to read. She tilted her head and looked at him curiously and said say wow, yours is looking so much better! It's just a nice solid colour now. Aang turned to her and asked if that was a good thing. Ty Lee said it was a very good thing in an encouraging listen-with-mother-voice. She asked Aang to tell her what Zuko's aura colour was. Next to me Zuko rolled his eyes and leaned his head back is resignation.
Aang started squinting at him and then he turned to Ty Lee and said is it red? Ty Lee clapped and said it is red! Well done you! to Aang. Aang smiled proudly at her. I am left with the distinct impression that Aang was just guessing. But I didn't want to burst his bubble in front of his new best friend foreverest.
Ty Lee and Aang sat across from us and she said it's a very nice red to Zuko with a great deal of sincerity – as if she was worried that he would fret about his aura colour. Zuko said thanks Ty Lee, I was really worried that it would be a terrible red. Really that's been keeping me up at night. She said she was serious! His aura used to be this big old mess of colours – it was all over the place! It was seriously the messiest aura she'd ever seen. But now it had settled down and was just a nice shiny red! Zuko said great and gave her a thumbs up, with some sarcasm – which she missed, because she gave him a thumbs up back with enthusiasm.
-?-
Aang and Ty Lee went off to go fly about on Appa. Ty Lee had never been on a flying bison before and she was most excited and was hopping and skipping and jumping when she left. A few moments later I heard Ty Lee's ditzy voice overhead. She stated the obvious and yelled I'm on a flying bison! like she couldn't believe her good fortune. We waved and they passed over.
Sokka came along right after they had left – looking for me. He was hopping along on his new crutches and he was calling out my name excitedly. He had his I am so full of gossip right now face on. He said he had so much to tell me and I had missed the biggest scene at the water tribe house.
He really wanted to tell me and he seemed really excited, so I humored him. Sokka flopped down next to Suki and showed off his new cast and crutches and we all made the right appreciative noises. Sokka said that Dr Yang had come to visit him this morning at the water tribe house. She had wanted to bring him his new crutches and check on how the new cast had set. Sokka and my Dad had a nice enough chat with Dr Yang and everything was very pleasant. Until Nukka made a comment about how Sokka was lucky to get a hot firenation nurse to wait on him, a little lecherously.
Dr Yang was exceptionally cross and treated all the warriors present to a big speech. About respect mostly. Dr Yang gave all the menfolk such a scolding! They looked like a group of chastised four year olds by the time she was done. She was not a nurse, she was a doctor and she had not gone to university for ten years to be referred to as a nurse, thank-you-very-much. Furthermore, they were in the firenation now and as representatives of their tribe they needed to set a good example and be more respectful of women etc.
Sokka thought this would be of great interest to me, because now I would know that I was not the only person who wanted to give long ranty speeches and chastise the menfolk. I already knew this, but I thanked Sokka for passing it on all the same. Sokka wanted to give me a heads up that Dr Yang had mentioned me in her speech. She had said I was cleverer than five of the menfolk put together. Awww. I feel oddly touched. She so rarely says anything nice to my face. She's always so blunt with me. But it is nice to know that she thinks I am clever.
Sokka said that Dr Yang mentioned that she had tried to teach me a few things about firenation medicine, mid-rant. She had said this in order to prove the usefulness of firenation medicine to the menfolk, as some of them thought that Sokka should be treated the old-fashioned water tribe way (Sokka disagreed and much preferred the Fire nation way as it involved less snow and other things wet and cold). Anyway the way Dr Yang had said it, she had inadvertently made it sound like I was her…apprentice or something. And now my dad was worried about my possible, hypothetical choice of career and wanted to have a talk to me about it.
Boo.
However talking about healing with dad will be infinitely less awkward that talking to him about Zuko. And if I want to end the conversation, I can just start talking to him about periods and menstrual cramps and how I am learning to "heal" those. Talking about periods is a conversation killer with my Dad. If I want to stop a conversation with my dad, this is sure fire way.
-?-
Sokka and Suki absconded to be romantic together – as they are wont to do. And it was just me and Zuko. Alone at last. I had been trying to think of ways to pull him aside all morning to have a chat to him, and at least now we had a chance. He wanted to talk to me too. He asked me directly why I had followed him this morning. He had seen me trailing behind at the market.
I fessed up that I had followed, but just because I was worried when he stormed off and I thought he might want somebody to talk to. But I hadn't been able to get in through the door. Zuko nodded in comprehension and said that the training arenas in more densely populated areas were designed so that only firebenders could go in. It prevented injury to non-benders and gave firebenders a safe place to practice more difficult moves. Zuko said he'd really just wanted to have a big fat fiery tantrum, and that's why he had gone there. But he had found somebody to talk to anyway. He told me Aang had been there.
I said I heard. Zuko made a face at me and asked if I was eavesdropping again. I said that I wouldn't call it eavesdropping per se. It was just overhearing a conversation and that was an entirely different thing. Zuko smiled ruefully and said that I didn't need to do that so much anymore. He told me everything anyway. He thought for a second and then asked me if I agreed with Aang, since I had so conveniently overheard. I was a bit confused by the question and he clarified. He asked if I thought Aang was right…about him being firelord. Should he just suck it up and look on the brightside?
I'm normally a big fan of looking on the brightside, and I'm a pretty optimistic person for the most part. But I also know that even though the brightside is great and wonderful, sometimes it is good to be aware of reality as well. The reality was that being firelord next was going to be a really hard job. Zuko knew this and the thought seemed to fill him with anxiety. Just 'looking on the brightside' was over-simplifying things, I thought.
I didn't think he should be pushed into it, if he really didn't feel ready right now and I said as much. He nodded and looked down at his cup. I scooted closer and said that if he really didn't want this, he should just tell his Uncle. He said it wasn't that simple. It wasn't about what he wanted. It couldn't ever just be about what he wanted anymore. If it was about what I wanted then I'd…he trailed off here. He was looking right at me. At this point I feel like a different conversation was going on.
A conversation just with our eyes.
About what we wanted.
I scooted closer again and he scooted closer to me. And we were all up in eachother's space. I looked at him encouragingly. He smiled back at me and then asked, really softly, if he could be honest with me. I whispered back that he could always be honest with me. He started saying, a bit nervously, well, what I really want is….
And it was at precisely this point that my dad saw fit to interrupt us! Boo Dad boo! He came over and sat down and ruined the moment like a big giant moment-ruiner (I knew Sokka got it from somewhere!) He said that he had been looking for me all over the place and he really wanted to have a talk with me. I gritted my teeth and said not now dad. I pointed out (stroppily) that Zuko and I were in the middle of something – in a desperate attempt to save the moment (I was too late. The moment was dead).
Dad looked over at Zuko and they exchanged greetings. Zuko called my dad sir a whole bunch, even though my Dad, in an attempt at being the 'cool dad' said he could call him Hakoda. Oh spirits he actually said hey I'm a cool dad. You don't need to be so formal with me. You can just call me Hakoda. Zuko seemed suspicious of 'cool dad Hakoda' and he couldn't contain the 'sirs' that slipped out. Eventually, he seemed to settle for calling my dad Sir Hakoda – like my dad had been knighted by the earth king or something. Dad asked what we were in the middle of and there was a small silence before I piped up with healing? Because it was the first plausible excuse that I could think of. But unfortunately I said it in a way that made it sound like a question.
Zuko took an extra second and then said err yes! Healing! He was trying to back me up, but he's such a terrible liar. He made the whole thing seem suspicious and now Dad had his skeptical face on. Dad looked between us and didn't say anything and just made it awkward with the power of dad-ness. He coughed and then said that before we went 'healing' he would like to have a conversation with Zuko, Man-to-man.
Oh balls!
I shot Zuko a panicked look. I frantically searched for an excuse… any way out of this. After a split second I said that would have to wait, because we really, absolutely and definitely had to go and do a healing session. Right now. Then I grabbed Zuko and pulled him behind me all the way to my room – because it seemed the safest.
My dad might barge into almost any other situation and be nosy – but he'd always been very respectful of the room that Gran Gran and I shared. That was 'lady space' and my Dad wouldn't enter it uninvited. I figured the same thing would apply to my room here. If Zuko was going to be safe from a terrible dreadful man-to-man talk anywhere, it would be here. I closed the door, and leaned on it and said well that was close. Then I turned around and was greeted with the most delightful sight.
Shirtless Zuko.
Hhhhmmmm.
Shirtless Zuko in my room. Double hmmmm.
I'm not going to lie, I had a bit of a pervy moment. His body is so fine! Even with all the bandages, I could still see all his muscle definition. It was immensely distracting. This was a pleasant surprise. I hadn't even been expecting shirtlessness. Wait, why did he take off his shirt anyway. Not that I was complaining or anything….
I ended up asking what are you doing? after I got over my shirtless surprise. It turns out that he had been under the impression that we really were going for a healing session- and had taken his shirt off accordingly. I (foolishly, in hindsight) corrected this erroneous notion. Of course we weren't, you dolt! We weren't really having a healing session. We were just temporarily escaping my Dad and his awkwardness.
Zuko said oh..okay rather bashfully. He seemed rather embarrassed as he hurriedly put his shirt back on. I realized that if I had kept my big mouth closed, he probably would have stayed shirtless the whole time. But now it was too late to bring the shirtless back and he was all embarrassed now. I am an idiot.
I sat on the bed and had a small freak out about how embarrassing my dad was going to be. Zuko sat next to me and said it wouldn't be that bad. I said he was right, because I had a plan for him to avoid this whole man-to-man talk thing that my dad seemed so dead-set on. I would leave first because I knew my dad wanted to talk to me about Dr Yang. I would seek out that awkward conversation and then I could deflect all my Dad's interest away from Zuko with my wiliness. I would start my women deserve equal treatment rant and that would keep me and my dad occupied and then Zuko wouldn't have to worry about a man-to-man talk with him.
Zuko said that he really didn't mind, softly. Didn't mind what? I asked. He looked at his hands and said that he wouldn't mind a talk with my Dad. Even if it was embarrassing, if my dad really wanted a man-to-man talk with Zuko, Zuko was up for it. If I wanted, he would go out there and just get it over with and then I wouldn't have to worry anymore. It was a very sweet offer and he was looking at me with this very soft expression and my stomach was all squishy. And I feel that if we had just been left on our own, without all these bloody interruptions… perhaps…maybe something would have happened. But as it is, my dad had taken it upon himself to interrupt us anew.
He knocked on the door and said Err Katara, Zuko – are you two in there? He was then joined by two other voices. Toph and Iroh. It sounded like they were having some sort of really-embarrassing-people-who-just-excel-at-making-us-feel-embarrassed convention out there. I originally thought that if we just stayed quiet – everybody might go away. No such luck. Zuko and I listened aghast, as the following conversation unfolded.
Toph asked if I was in there – because they were looking for Zuko and Toph was sure I would know where he was. There was a great deal of insinuation in the way she said this. I could practically hear the frown in my dad's voice when he said with some consternation that he was pretty sure Zuko was in the room with me. Iroh made a delighted little noise and said oh, I don't want to interrupt him if he's entertaining a lady friend. There were even more layers of insinuation in the way Iroh said this than Toph had managed. But then Iroh has had more practice at insinuating things.
My dad made some noise of protest at the idea that Zuko would be entertaining me in such a fashion. But Zuko spoke up louder and said to his Uncle through the door for Angi's sake, must you make everything sound tawdry! Iroh said Zuko? with a great deal of surprise at being criticized through a door. Zuko said yes it's me.
There was a pause and then Iroh's voice came from much closer – it sounded like he was leaning on the door. Iroh said Zuko, I know you are unhappy with me right now…but we need to talk, gently but firmly. Zuko said I know. There was a long pause. Then Zuko turned to me and whispered that it looked like he had an awkward conversation of his own to deal with now.
-?-
Iroh and Zuko walked down to the room that Iroh had been using as an office to have their talk. My dad and I stood in the hall. Toph stayed with us, just standing about, waiting for the perfect opportunity to insinuate things. Dad started gearing up to give me an awkward speech. But thankfully we were interrupted by Ty Lee and Aang, before the awkward speech could get underway. Finally! An interruption I was glad about! I never thought I could be happier to see the two of them.
They came bounding along the hall with great enthusiasm. Ty Lee pulled up abruptly the second she saw my Dad. She fussed with her hair a little bit and (horrifyingly) turned around briefly to re-adjust her cleavage. Then she sashayed towards us and said hi Cutie and gave my Dad a coquettish little wave – which seemed to both surprise and please him, and he waved back.
Ty Lee bustled forward with Aang and said I hope you don't mind – but this one (meaning Aang – she proffered his hand here) needs to borrow your beautiful daughter for a second. She then gave Aang an encouraging yet forceful shove towards me. We collided and he knocked me back into the room and we landed in a big sprawling heap. Ty Lee said okay Aang, just like we practiced! Then she gave him a big thumbs up and closed the door.
What the hell?
-?-
I asked Aang what the hell was that about? Aang was looking a little sheepish, and said that Ty Lee was just trying to help. Help with what? The mind boggles.
I suddenly heard Toph give a surprised squeal and Ty Lee say with great enthusiasm now we will be such good friends! from beyond the door.I was not sure, but I assumed that Ty Lee had just apologized to Toph and Toph has accepted – not knowing that all of Ty Lee's apologies are followed by a huge and enthusiastic hug. Ty Lee cannot resist hurling herself at people like a pink cheerful fireball.
The sound of Ty Lee apologizing seemed to give Aang's a confidence boost and he stood up straighter and walked over to where I stood with my hands on my hips. Aang asked me to sit down and he had something very important to say to me. I complied. Aang looked nervous, but took a deep breath and bowed really low.
He said that I was right (always a good start). It wasn't fair that Aang had left us all before the battle and he was very sorry for that and he hoped I could find it in my heart to forgive him. He knew how much his leaving had hurt me and that he let me down. He understood why I was angry. I was right that he couldn't always get his own way all the time. He would try and do better and listen to me more in the future.
It was a very sincere and heartfelt apology. It had the air of a rehearsed speech, but that didn't detract from the sentiment expressed. Aang really seemed earnest. He really seemed like he had listened to what I had said the other day. Sure he might have needed some encouragement on the apology front from Ty Lee (who is getting well practiced at apologizing lately), but I believe he meant it.
I told him that of course he was forgiven and he leapt up from his low bow and into my arms. I can't ever be angry at Aang for long. And this apology was what I had wanted to hear all along. Just some indication that what I thought and said really mattered to Aang, and that he would listen to me, even if he didn't agree with me. That's all I really wanted actually.
-?-
I opened the door to see Ty Lee, Toph and my Dad all cloistered together. Ty Lee was standing much closer to my dad that I thought was strictly necessary. But that was neither here nor there and so I let it pass without comment. They had evidently all been eavesdropping together. They weren't even subtle about it. Ty Lee said that was a lovely apology and wiped a tear from her eye. Toph said oh get a hold of yourself, you ditzy-moo under her breath.
Ty Lee looked at Aang and then gestured very dramatically at Toph, who was standing next to her. Aang nodded. Ty Lee said okay it's your turn Toph and quicker than lightning, she had pushed Toph into the room with one hand and pulled me out with the other.
-?-
Toph got a sincere apology too (we all crowded around to eavesdrop on this one too). Hers was different and much longer than mine. Aang apologized mostly for not listening to her either and for putting her in danger and for absconding with fangirls rather than dealing with what Toph had said. He is also going to try and listen to Toph better in the future and he is never going to choose the company of adoring fans over his true friends again. Toph has during the course for the apology made many sarcastic comments, kicked Aang twice (angrily) and punched him once (affectionately) and eventually she too, accepted his apology.
-?-
Ty Lee declared that now that we had all made up and everybody was friends we should do something to celebrate – like have sticky rice pudding with mangoes. I have no objection to it, and so I ended up sitting on the veranda drinking tea and waiting for celebratory rice pudding. We were all sitting in a circle and Ty Lee was gasbagging about how nice it was that everyone had made friends now and wasn't apologizing great and didn't we all feel better. She just talked and talked and talked.
My dad kept trying to get my attention. I assume that he wanted to give me an awkward speech of some description - so I pretended that I was really interested in what Ty Lee was saying and didn't let Dad get a word in edgewise. Toph started making comical faces at me behind Ty Lee's back – to indicate what she thought of Ty Lee's blah blah blah.
Suddenly my Dad lost interest in trying to instigate awkward conversations with me and got up abruptly. He squinted into the distance towards the street, then he excused himself and jogged towards the gate. Dad was acting a bit weird and I was curious – so I joined him. He said he thought he'd seen someone. He pointed out a man, dressed in standard firenation clothes. The man was carrying flowers and pacing at the corner of this little laneway. He looked oddly familiar. He turned around and Dad and I got a proper look at his face. It was Bato.
My Dad wanted to follow him. I advised him against this. I had a pretty good suspicion of where Bato was going and I didn't think my Dad would like what he found if he followed. I told him to just leave it be, whatever Bato was doing, it couldn't be that bad. Dad said he'd known Bato his whole life, Bato was like a brother to him and he knew when something was wrong with him. And Bato was so secretive lately and where did he go every night? Dad was just worried. In the end, I was unable to dissuade him. At six gongs, Bato started heading down the lane and my dad followed.
-?-
I went back to join the others. Toph looked openly relieved when I was back. The sun started setting and Aang asked if Ty Lee wanted to see a sunset from Appa. She surely did! (no surprise there). They bounced off together happily. Probably to talk about how awesome double rainbows and unicorns and lionturtles are. I watched them go with a very bemused expression – I have never, in my life, seen such enthusiasm for anything! Toph crossed her arms grumpily next to me and stuck her tongue out at their retreating forms.
Toph started eating her sticky rice and said well he seems very taken with her and gestured widely with her spoon in the direction that Aang and Ty Lee had walked off in. She sounded very disgruntled. I made non-committal noises. Toph ranted that Aang was just being foolish to be so infatuated with someone so dippy and ditzy – when he had only just met her. She sounded a little jealous actually. I pointed this out and got whacked with a spoon for my trouble.
I said that in all honestly, I thought that Ty Lee was good for Aang. I told her about how happy and just plain joyful he'd seemed this morning, when she was interested in the Lionturtle. Someone who made Aang that happy was okay by me. She might be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but she was very sweet. Plus, she helped Aang apologize properly.
I said that I was glad he had done that. Now we could go back to being friends without all this ill-feeling between us. A proper apology had been all that I really wanted from Aang. Toph said she had just wanted an apology too – but now she wasn't sure how sincere Aang had been. Part of her apology was that he would stop swanning off with adoring fan girls and now he had done just that! I said that Ty Lee wasn't really a random fangirl. She was a one-woman tornado of pink and cheerfulness. I got whacked with the spoon again.
The sky got darker and I put my feet up on the table. Toph put her legs over mine. We could hear the occasional exclamation from either Iroh or Zuko coming from Iroh's office. They were still talking/arguing about who would be firelord. Toph turned to me and asked how I thought it was going. I said I didn't know, but Zuko really didn't feel ready and I didn't think he should be forced into it.
Toph shrugged and said ready or not, he wasn't going to have much of a choice. She and Uncle had a good chat while they looked for Zuko. She told me about her adventures with Iroh and how they had spent all morning scouring the harbor city for Zuko. Apparently he used to abscond there as a kid when he was upset about something. Uncle was sure he would have gone there today. Toph has started calling Iroh "Uncle" like it is his first name, the same way Zuko does. But I don't know if she is aware that she is doing this.
Apparently Uncle spent the whole morning fretting like crazy. During this search, Uncle explained the various complex firenation political things to Toph. Uncle was adamant that the next firelord would have to be Zuko. Toph was sure that no matter how much Zuko said he didn't feel ready, he would cave in to his Uncle's wishes.
Toph ended up being right. When they finally emerged, Iroh said that we should have a big celebration – because Zuko was going to make a wonderful firelord, now that he had finally agreed to it. That deserved celebrating. But one look at Zuko's face told me all I needed to know.
Iroh wanted to pop the champagne and have a feast and a party. Zuko just wanted a quiet night in. Today had been extremely exhausting for him and he didn't feel up to a whole big party shebang right now. A compromise was reached. A quite night in- with champagne it would be.
We all got a glass. Toph only got a very, very small one – as per my strict directions. It was a celebration after all and I didn't want her to be left out. But I did not want this to lead to drunken shenanigans on her part, so she was only allowed five sips. We would not be having a repeat of the hungover-Aang situation, thank-you-very-much.
Jeong Jeong and Piandao came and joined us for champagne. Then Aang came back (he had dropped his new best friend foreverest off at the Kyoshi house). Sokka and Suki came down to join us. More champagne was brought out. Lenka made little canapés and Mina lit some lanterns to create a 'mood'. The balcony got a bit crowded and much fun was had by all.
The whole thing was turning into a bit of a party anyway – but I always thought that was going to happen after Iroh said Champagne Time! and waggled his eyebrows in a cheeky manner earlier in the evening. Zuko and I ended up sitting in the comfy chairs – a little away from everybody else. He remarked that this was a terrible beginning. His very first request as soon-to-be-firelord went largely ignored by everyone.
He seemed rather down about it. We had a small conversation about how Zuko was kind of dreading it. Being firelord that is. But he didn't really feel like he should complain. I quietly asked him why he agreed to it. He just shrugged and said that he hadn't really had much of a choice…in the end. I felt sad for him. I said that it wouldn't be so bad, for all he knew, it could be great.
Zuko didn't think so. He said that at 16 – he would be the youngest ever firelord and most of the young firelords got eaten (metaphorically) by the firenation court. The firenation court was a rhinosnake pit and most of the military was worse. And almost every governmental system was geared for war and would need some serious overhauling. Worst of all was that Zuko thought that it would be very hard to get everyone in the firenation to accept a peace. The lower classes probably would, because they had been used as catapult fodder for years – and they just wanted their sons and daughters home safe – as far as Zuko could tell. But all the nobles, the ones who held most of the money and the power, made a lot of profit from the war. They would stir up trouble for anyone who wanted peace.
He shouldn't start out feeling this negative about everything. Aang is right about looking on the bright side. It is important. This negative mindset – only seeing the problems – wasn't going to help him solve any of those problems. It was only going to make those problems seem bigger. He needed to be hopeful about things.
So I said what positive things I could think of, drawing on the little I knew about firenation and all its political shenanigans. I told him about the General's retiring party (oh spirits it seems so long ago now – it was there that I first found out how Zuko got his scar). I told him how most of the people there thought that Ozai was a dreadful leader. I thought most of those people would probably be glad that Zuko was the new firelord, or if they were not glad, they would at least be open to the idea. They would not be openly hostile to him. Many of them thought that the war had gone on too long, and had cost too many lives to begin with. The generals were all retiring because they very much disagreed with the war too. So maybe convincing the nobles and military to accept the peace would not be as difficult as he thought. It wouldn't be easy either. But I thought that not everyone would be against it. This seemed to cheer him up somewhat.
Piandao wandered over to us with a champagne glass in hand. He wanted to toast Zuko himself. He said I hear congratulations are in order as they clinked glasses and Zuko says so everybody tells me. Piandao frowned slightly and asked me graciously if he could 'borrow Zuko' for a second (as it would leave me sitting on my own). I nodded and said as long as he brought him back – that was fine by me.
-?-
They walked a small distance away and down the stairs, so they were in the garden – not on the balcony. But I found if I leant against one the pillars, I could unobtrusively listen in. Zuko was telling Piandao that he knew that his Uncle had probably sent him to "have a talk" with Zuko (he said have a talk disdainfully) – But Zuko didn't need a talk. He was fine. He had agreed to it and he always kept his word and so Uncle didn't need to fret like a wet hen. Piandao said that Uncle hadn't sent him, simply. That seemed to take some of the bluster out of Zuko and he said oh and looked taken aback.
Piandao took a long sip and champagne and said that he knew Zuko was worried about what was to come, but Zuko had always had great courage. Zuko said ah, you are going to give me the "all cowardice comes from not loving" speech. Piandao smiled and said he wasn't, but he paused slightly and said though that speech has always been one of my favourites. Zuko smiled back at little cheekily and said I noticed. I've heard it many times.
Piandao said that he actually had a question for Zuko. He asked if Zuko wanted to know what it was that finally made Piandao agree to teach him? Zuko shrugged and said I was a prince and it was expected. Piandao smiled at him, and said with a gentle teasing tone no, that's the attitude that made me turn you down three times and he raised his glass irreverently.
Piandao had originally taken Zuko on because Zuko had more raw determination than Piandao had ever seen and Piandao just wanted to tell Zuko that. He kept coming back, no matter how rudely Piandao refused him. Regardless of how incredibly difficult Piandao made things, Zuko would always give his all to any task Piandao had assigned. And it was this quality of Zuko's that made Piandao sure that if Zuko put his mind and his heart to something, there was nothing he could not accomplish.
Piandao put his hand on Zuko's shoulder reassuringly and said You don't give up and you don't give in. It makes you extraordinary. And there is no one else I would rather have as my firelord. He said it so sincerely and Zuko smiled properly for the first time all night, right then. He looked at Piandao with wide eyed astonishment and asked if he really meant that. Piandao did.
Zuko bowed his head slightly and said he was honoured to have Piandao's high opinion. Piandao scoffed and said you've always had that. Then in an oddly tender gesture, Piandao took Zuko's chin in between his fingers and gave it a little wiggle and said Chin up kiddo. You're going to be firelord after all. You bow down to no one. Zuko stood up a little straighter, after that. And when he came back he had a slight smile on his face and seemed in a much better mood.
-?-
0o0o0o0o0o0
The rambles
Lovely wonderful readers! You have reached the end of apologies, interruptions and responsibilities. Congratulations and I hope you enjoyed it. A bazillion hugs to my wonderful reviewers – as well as virtual cherries! You guys are awesome! Seriously, I have so much love for you guys! When we crack 1K I'll post another oneshot for you guys! You can pick from either one about Azula's anti-chauvinistic rage attacks and the firenation kids or a ridiculous one about Jet when he was stalking Zuko. State your preference in reviews!
So in this chapter I have firebending arenas. This is just something that makes sense to me. I think that in densely populated areas – like the caldera- there would have to be something like an arena just for benders – a place where they could practice and not accidentally hurt people or set things on fire. This is also where Jeong Jeong takes Aang. He was going to teach him some actual firebending after they had mediated on fire's destructive power.
So Aang and Zuko have a conversation after Zuko 'saves' Aang from Jeong Jeong's lessons. I think that Jeong Jeong and Aang are going to clash even without the pressures of the war because they have such contrasting personalities. Also Jeong Jeong is the only other character who can make Zuko look like a barrel of laughs in comparison and Aang is going to miss his Sifu Hotman. But now that Zuko is going to be firelord, I don't see how he could keep up being Aang's firebending teacher as well – though Toph and Katara will probably keep teaching him their elements until he has mastered them.
Aang and Zuko talk about how it feels to be handed a huge responsibility that you aren't ready for. I realised that Aang has never told Zuko about his side of "the Storm" and I thought this would be a nice place for that. Zuko is in a big woe-is-me funk. He didn't think that Aang was in the exact same position when he got told he was the Avatar – until Aang points this out.
One of the things I love about Aang is how optimistic and cheerful he is. I just thought that his natural response to someone else feeling a little down would be to try and cheer them up and find the brightside of the situation. For those of you who were wondering, Aang would have started singing always look on the bright side of life for no other reason than because I love monty python. however I actually think that Aang has a very good point here – positive thinking is really important. However he only offers over simplistic brightsides because I think Aang doesn't have a proper understanding of what being firelord will entail. But at least he tries, bless him.
Zuko expected to be firelord at some point when he was thirteen and he expressed a desire to start learning how to run the country then. But I think the enthusiasm for being firelord that he had as a child has long since gone. In fact I would argue that it is more of a sense of duty rather than enthusiasm that drives Zuko, even then. He has been raised to believe he has a duty to his nation and he wants to perform it well. Then of course he gets half his face burnt off and is banished and we all know how that goes. I think that during the three years he was chasing Aang, he didn't get much learning how to run the country lessons from Iroh – because that wasn't really a top priority right then.
Aside from being ill prepared for the task of being firelord, Zuko's understanding of what it means has radically changed. He would see all the problems that being firelord entails. In fact I think that being firelord immediately post-war would have very few perks. Also Zuko doesn't strike me as someone who would enjoy power over others just for the sake of power. He would like his orders/instructions to be obeyed and he wants to be respected, but I don't think he has his dad's or his sister's megalomaniac tendencies. He does not seek power for its own sake. He would also have an appreciation for the great responsibility that comes with great power. So he's no doing his happy dance about being forced into the hotseat right now.
During Aang and Zuko's conversation, I actually wanted to flag something that I think would be an issue for both Zuko and Aang in the romance department because of their powerful positions. One of the things that Zuko will think whenever a strange girl shows interest in him now – is if she only likes him because he's firelord.
Note* I would argue, but YMMV, that Mai's interest in him is primarily because he's a prince and she enjoys the perks and freedoms that come with dating royalty.
Zuko wouldn't want that from a romantic relationship and it would be something that he would be wary of. Aang, however, has never previously thought about this at all. Lots of girls are into Aang – just because he is the Avatar. Eg his various fanclubs. This has never previously bothered Aang – but when Zuko points out to him that it is not an ideal situation to be in a relationship with someone who only likes you for your position and not your personality – it gives Aang pause for thought. Aang decides that he also wouldn't want that for himself.
I wanted to address the thing that Roku said: being the Avatar means you can get any girl you want. Mmmmhhhh. Really? Does it? So the lady's personality, desires, and attraction won't come into it then? (but then looking at Kataang – Roku is proven tragically right.) So in short: any girl the Avatar wants – he gets.
You guys can probably guess that I have a problem with this. YMMV again, but I think that one of the reasons Katara kisses Aang at the end is precisely because he's the Avatar. I still remain convinced that Katara and Aang kisses then primarily because the 'hero always gets the girl'. But this really bothers me guys. I would like to think that, on reflection, Aang would realise that he wants a more mutual relationship for himself – not one that is driven solely because of what he is and not who he is.
Also Aang and Ty Lee meet in this chapter and sunshine and rainbows abound. I think that these two would have so much fun together – I think that Aang really needed to hang out with someone who is on the same page as him. The Gaang are in various stages of disgruntlement at him over his disappearing trick. Toph and Katara have both shouted at him over it. In my opinion, he has felt at odds with his friends ever since he started going on about not wanting to kill Ozai (because the way he blows up at them all is really uncalled for in canon). I think the friendships needed to be repaired and Aang apologising properly (eg without justifications or excuses) is the first step.
Aang's interactions with Ty Lee will help him grow as a person. Ty Lee is having a bit of an apologising fest in these chapters. She is well aware that she has wronged people and she is trying to make amends. Aang would have told her his lady woes and she would have espoused apologising to Toph and Katara and helped him see it from the girls' perspective. Regardless of whether he meant to or not, Aang let them down and should apologise.
For Aang, hanging out with someone like Ty Lee, who really validates his position would have given him great joy and comfort. I don't want it to be the whole world VS Aang and I did want someone else to see it his way. And if anybody would appreciate something like a lionturtle - it would be Ty Lee. In my fic she believes in unicorns, so it makes sense that she would believe in lionturtles too. Toph is a bit jealous of this burgeoning friendship and that will have some importance later. Ty Lee would like to be a good Kyoshi warrior, but she is also unaccustomed to that lifestyle and is very easily distracted. So she gets a bit side tracked with Aang and his drama today.
Aang is also very aware that Ty Lee is a girly girl. She does have rather womanly attributes that Aang can't help but notice. He may develop a little crush on her later. Because I think that Aang needs to experience other forms of attraction aside from what he feels for Katara . But there will be more on this later.
Ty Lee is also trying to teach the others chi blocking. I will say right now that I don't think the benders will be able to properly chi-block. Mostly because it seems like such a power upgrade and it doesn't seem quite fair if a bender can do both. So I will just say that their bending would interfere with their ability to sense someone else's chi or energy. The real test will be if Aang can do it – as he is an "energy bender" as well as the Avatar. The Kyoshi warriors as a non-bending fighting force will all be able to master it in time. Ty Lee will also retain this skill after she develops her airbending – because she developed her chi-blocking first. She wouldn't be constricted by bending the same way that someone with bending mastery – just starting to learn chi blocking – would be.
I always got the feeling that Ty Lee uses auras to explain how she sees people and what she thinks they are like. But I googled it and there is this whole school of thought around auras. So go Ty Lee – she is ahead of her time. Anyway, in my googling, I realised that Zuko really suited the red aura (passionate, impulsive, very physical and energetic etc) so I have Ty lee comment on it.
I think that Zuko and Ty Lee would easily fall back into their old pattern of friendship and I also think they were pretty good friends at one point as well. I can't really see him being mad at her and I think he would realise that a lot of what she did came from Azula. So they quickly make up here. Ty Lee will bring up Mai, because I don't think that Zuko is thinking about her at all.
A very quick note about the Maiko scene at the end: So no matter how many times I watch the Maiko scene I still don't understand it. Zuko is really very surprised to see her and asks how she got out. Well more specifically he asks if 'they' let her out. 'They' answer to you now, Zuko! But it is obvious in canon that Zuko did not have much to do with Mai's release and in effect – he forgot her in prison. Look I like Zuko, he's one of my favourites. But forgetting Mai in prison makes him a very crappy boyfriend to her. I'd like to think that as soon as he was reminded about her existence, he would have tried to do something to help her – but he was just a little late. So that is what I have happen in my fic. I'm going to tweak the maiko scene a fair bit, because as it is – it makes no sense!
Okay, so it seems to me that Ty Lee and Mai got separated at some point and ended up in different prisons. Ty Lee ended up in prison with the Kyoshi warriors. That prison would be the Iron Cove, closest to the capital. I think that part of the reason that Azula moved Ty Lee to a prison close to the capital was so she could visit her. Those visits would have been eventful to say the least. Azula has always liked to keep Ty Lee close.
But what happened to Mai? I think Azula would have seen Mai's betrayal as the bigger betrayal and she wouldn't have wanted to see her at all. She would have wanted to punish her. I do not think Azula would have left Mai in a prison run by her Uncle- who she is obviously in contact with and has some sort of relationship with. Azula is not dumb. So I think she would have had Mai moved to a prison even further away – and sent her now disgraced family to join her. Considering how much disdain Mai had for her parents, this would have been a grievous punishment.
*note: I think Azulon's tower would be a little like the Tower of London. A place for prisoners from nobility. It is the better quality of prison. Like Tower of London, it would have facilities to imprison whole families in relative comfort and would be, in effect, a house-arrest style prison in which people get assigned their own 'apartments.'
So I have some thoughts about Mai which I will expound on a little here. But this is super rambly – so feel free to skip.
*start Mai rant*
I do not think there is anything 'wrong' with Mai. I think that Mai is a sarcastic, snarky and extremely clever young woman. To me she is the avatar version of Daria. Some people think Mai is miserable. I don't. She's not miserable, she's just not like everybody else around her. I think she doesn't buy into much of the firenation propaganda and BS – but she sees that she can never change the system and so she resigns herself to it and starts her career of making snarky remarks from the sidelines.
She is cynical – but understandably so. Her dad is a politician and having a politician in the family would naturally engender a great deal of cynicism I think. Same goes for her mother being a social climber. I do not think Mai has to apologise for or have a reason for her cynicism. I think it is just part of her personality. I think that Mai's real problem with her parents would be their snobbery and insincerity (as social climbers and politicians aren't known for their sincerity) and the fact that they are so bourgeois. They are not just part of the system. They embrace the system.
However Mai's parents are not bad people and I think Mai realises this. Andthat is why she is a bit reluctant to tell her sob story – because it's not really that much of a sob story. Asking a child to behave and sit still is not abusive parenting in my book. But YMMV. Mai is, in her own words, a spoiled only child who got her own way as long as she kept quiet. There were probably certain behavioural expectations, and her mother would have fussed over her and wanted her to be a nice and respectable young lady – but that is not that unusual, is it?
It is actually Azula who infers that Mai's attitude is her mother's fault (why is it always the mother's fault?) around the fire. I think this says more about Azula's mummy issues that it does about Mai. I notice that Mai does not agree with Azula's assessment. And when you look at the brief scene that Mai shares with her mother, her mother is encouraging her to cheer up and enjoy her life. They are living like royalty in Omashu (and status is clearly important to Mai's mother). Mai might be bored out of her mind – but she banters with her mother and acts quickly to protect her. Mostly they seem to get along. They probably get frustrated and upset with each other – but that happens in all families
The one thing that this episode makes clear is that Mai's parents alternatively bore and frustrate her – her mother probably moreso, because she spends more time with her. I just get the vibe that Mai spends a lot of time with her mother in Omashu – possibly because her dad is busy with his political career. She longs for freedom, not because her cage is OMG!abusive, but simply because it is a little dull and she wants adventure. She is willing to go with Azula completely of her own free will to get away from her parents and have a bit of fun.
So when Mai is out of Azula's favour, she gets sent back to her parents (or has them sent to her) because Azula knows that this will drive Mai bananas. I think Mai got along okay with her parents. However this would not stop Mai from endlessly complaining about her parents to Zuko -and Ty Lee and Azula as well. Mai's many sarcastic comments re: her parents would be where Azula gets the idea to lock her up with her parents.
She would go on about how boring they are, how they are so fake, how they are so upper middle class and snobbish etc. Zuko would have made all the sympathetic noises, but he really wouldn't have understood. To Zuko, Mai's family would have seemed great, especially in comparison with his own, and he would have been at a loss to understand why she was so frustrated by them.
There will be more on the relationshipfail of Maiko later. But I think it is important to point out that at this point, Zuko thinks that they have properly broken up. I do not think he is wrong in this assumption. They had an on again off again relationship to begin with, punctuated by big fights and many miscommunications. He broke up with her in a letter. A little while down the track he ends up in prison. She goes to talk to him and confesses that she does not know him at all (ten points for Ravenclaw Mai – you hit the nail on the head). He (in effect) breaks up with her again – to her face this time. Then he escapes and locks her in a cell. Of course then she saves him, but even Mai acknowledges that she is saving the jerk who dumped her. (another ten points). Mai acknowledges that Zuko dumped her, therefore she is acknowledging the break up.
What happens between that scene and the canon scene? Like really. Any theories. Did Mai get resorted from Ravenclaw into dumbass house? Did Zuko also end up in dumbass house ( I think he would have started in Gryffindor personally). Does anyone else feel the profound urge to take Mai out and buy her a coffee and say he's just not that into you honeybun.
Anyway this is not to say that Zuko doesn't care about Mai. He stills likes her as a person. He still thinks she is lovely. He feels bad about leaving her in prison and very guilty about the fact that he hasn't even thought about her or the fact that she was locked in prison until Ty Lee reminds him. So he does what he can here to help her out. However when he tells Katara that they've broken up, he means it. In his mind they are broken up at this point. At least in my head canon. This is very good thing, because Katara was silently having a possessive jealously freak out. Katara does not want to share her Zuko.
If Zuko could have what he really wanted, it would be a relationship with Katara. And he almost asked her as well. But alas! I am a tease. I also have canon to explain – so that doesn't happen here. Instead they get interrupted by Sir Hakoda. Katara is irrationally worried about the man-to-man talk. Hakoda has never actually given any boy 'the talk' - because he got dissuaded from giving it to Haru. But Katara has built it up in her mind to be the biggest most embarrassing thing ever. Zuko is willing to suffer 'the talk' for her. He can see she's really anxious about it and he wants to put her mind at ease over it. Also at this stage, no matter what Hakoda says, Zuko is still going to think the world of Katara. And he's willing to put himself in not just life threatening situations, but also super embarrassing situations for her. Awww.
So Toph and Iroh and Hakoda cluster around outside Katara's door– there is much embarrassment to be had with these three about. Iroh would have fangirled when he realized that Katara and Zuko were in there together. He would have hoped, for one brief shining second, that they were making out. The benefits are many in Iroh's POV. Zuko has now found a pretty girl and if he is getting some loving, he will be in a more reasonable mood and easier to deal with. On another note, Iroh would have been exceptionally worried about Zuko this chapter and has spent all morning looking for him with Toph – that's why he only comes into it again in the later half.
Anyway, the fact that Zuko becomes firelord is a bit of a foregone conclusion. I think they would have hashed it out good and proper and eventually Iroh would have talked him round. We don't need to know much about what was said. Except that at one point Zuko would have said that he couldn't do it on his own. And Iroh would have said he wouldn't be on his own. Then Zuko would have said what about the jasmine dragon and playing pai sho and making tea everyday? Iroh would have said that there was something he loved more than playing Pai Sho and making tea all day. Zuko would have been sarcastic and said what? drinking tea everyday? And Iroh would have said no, you! You dolt! And they would have hugged.
Bless their cotton socks.
Seriously I hate the idea that Iroh would leave Zuko in that situation just to go and make tea for strangers. There are so many ways that this makes no sense. Note* Iroh does not own the Jasmine dragon! Some other rich merchant does. He merely ran the place and was given creative freedom. But he was an employee of rich merchant dude. So technically the jasmine dragon is not "Iroh's." I just can't get my head around it. I am officially handwaving it.
I think that either Iroh was kidding at camp old people, or after Zuko got shot, he would have realised that his nephew needed him. I handwave the tea party at the end, by saying that they rented the jasmine dragon for the time that they are in Ba Sing Se – because nobody else is there and it is clearly not functioning as a teashop right at that point.
So Zuko has, with a fair amount of reluctance and anxiety, accepted that he will have to be firelord next. I think that Zuko has a healthy dose of realism. He realises that being firelord next is going to suck monkey balls. But for duty and honour and because he was raised to think that he has a responsibility to the firenation people – he will do it. But he's not jumping for joy over it. Katara and Piandao both try to cheer him up in their own ways. Katara is also a big fan of the Brightside, but rather than give just shallow reasons why Zuko should be more optimistic – she points out legitimate things to be positive about and this helps a lot more.
Piandao and Zuko have a nice talk. Because I think Piandao is awesome and Piandao and Zuko haven't really had much of chance to chat in my fic yet. Zuko was also Piandao's student and would probably think as highly of him as Sokka does. But Zuko would have been much younger and more impressionable when he sought out Piandao. At first Zuko would have been demanding and would have just expected that because he was a prince, Piandao would train him. Piandao would have set him straight on that front. But he would have kept coming back and impressed Piandao with his determination until Piandao agreed to teach him. Piandao would have warmed to him and taken to calling him kiddo – because I think that Zuko would have been around 12ish when he went looking for Piandao and at 12 he would have been Piandao's youngest student. I think that they know each other pretty well and there is a lot of respect and affection between Zuko and Piandao. But being from the firenation, they rarely show the latter. But Piandao does here and it gives Zuko a real boost and some nice validation.
Next chapter will be the last for not stalking Zuko. After that we will be going on to not stalking firelord Zuko – so get ready for that! Til then lovely readers…..