Happy 2015! It's been a pretty hectic new year for me - I hope yours has been great so far! The next chapter is taking a bit longer than usual for me to come up with, so I thought an omake would be a nice break from the action and main plot while the wait continues. c:

Also, I wanted to thank everyone that reviewed/favourited/followed because your feedback was very encouraging for me! I love each and everyone one of you c:

Disclaimer: FANfiction. I only own the OC. Any changes to the original canon story is due to the fact that this is fanfiction.

Warning: May contain coarse language.

All is well and relatively quiet in the isolated Italian mansion, until each and every Varia elite opens their suite doors to see a messenger relaying information about an urgent meeting in the sitting room. Each individual expresses their thoughts on the urgent meeting very openly, ranging from a sword narrowly missing a terrified foot soldier to a very confused underling walking back to his post with a pineapple, before gathering in the sitting room to find a beaming Lussuria practically bouncing on his feet as he waits for his comrades.

"What was so fucking urgent that we had to come all the way down here!?" Squalo asks grumpily as he drapes himself across a sofa.

"I'm charging a hundred euros for every five minutes I'm here," Mammon comments offhandedly as he jabs numbers into his calculator.

Levi fidgets as his eyes dart around the room, before settling on Lussuria with a worried frown. "Where's the boss?"

Bel chuckles from where he is reclined in an armchair, twirling a knife in one hand. "The boss at a meeting?"

"Guys, I think I forgot to tell Paolo that he's meant to bring the pineapple to the kitchen for the chef to cut up for me," Riko frets as she perches herself on top of a marble statue. She bends her head down and snickers. "I keep forgetting Apollo doesn't have pants. Poor guy — he's not very godly down there, is he?"

"VOI! Stop wasting time! Lussuria!"

The sun guardian shakes his head, sighing at the swordsman's impatience. "Squ-chan, you need to be more patient!"

"Fuck patience, just get on with it already! Sbrigare!"

Lussuria tuts before he starts to address the squad. "Now, I've gathered everyone here today—"

"Except the boss," Levi mutters softly.

"— in order to address a very urgent matter that we should've solved long ago!"

At this point, Lussuria only has Squalo and Levi's attention, while Mammon is still fixated on his calculator, and Bel and Riko have already lost interest and have begun tossing a knife back and forth.

Squalo knits his eyebrows together in a frown. "So? What the fuck is it?"

"You know how Ri-chan's been a part of us for a while now?"

"Just get to the fucking point already!"

"Ri-chan is the only one who doesn't have a codename!"

Collective stares land on the mohawked man, followed with a silence as they process Lussuria's 'urgent matter'. And then they simultaneously vocalise their thoughts.

Squalo isn't impressed. "Are you fucking kidding me? That's what this stupid meeting was for?"

Levi is relieved. "Oh, then boss definitely doesn't need to be here."

Mammon holds up his calculator. "Three hundred euros and counting, Lussuria."

Bel flings the knife at Riko. "Circus peasant's a good one."

Riko catches the blade. "I'm thinking Jaegerjaquez. Have any of you read or watched Bleach? Fascinating stuff."

"No one in their fucking right mind is going to call you that!" Squalo snaps at Riko, before turning back to Lussuria, "And why the fuck does she need a codename anyway?! None of us have one!"

"That's not necessarily true," Lussuria informs him, and nods of affirmation come from the rest of the squad.

"What?"

"Well, Squ-chan, if you've been paying closer attention, we've been using codenames for ages. We all have one, even you!"

"You're fucking with me, right?"

"Boss, naturally, is just Boss. Levi's is Bear, on the account of the beard he's grown."

"I suggested changing it to Doormat, on account of the fact that he is one," Riko supplies helpfully.

"Mammon is Viper, because why change what he's already been using for years? Bel's is Ripper—"

"One might think that Prince would be better, but you can't possibly use my title as a codename, now can you?"

"— Mine is Peacock—"

"He wanted to change it to Beyonce last month but we all voted against it because he ain't go no buns like that particular hun."

Upon hearing Riko's interjection, Lussuria pauses to dab at his misty eyes behind his sunglasses as he recalls the unanimous vote that had ended against his favour, before continuing. "And yours is Kisame!"

Squalo blinks, momentarily confused by by the onslaught of information that makes no sense to him whatsoever, before realising a vital point of concern for him. "WHY THE FUCK AM I KISAME?!

"Because it makes sense," Everyone says in unison, surprised by his reaction.

"It does not fucking make sense!"

And that is how the rest of the afternoon is spent on a debate over Squalo's codename, while Riko, once again, remains the odd one out of the bunch. (Until much, much later, of course!)

I won't lie - I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. The next chapter will definitely be up soon!

Translations

sbrigare - be quick

Reviews are always appreciated, and any questions will be welcomed!

Delphoxi