Chapter 27

It was cold out. The sun was still around, but it had grown big and neared the horizon. The small, sickle-shaped slice of the moon floated far above in the clouds. If there were stars out, the light from the waning sun drowned them out.

I crawled out of one of the many exits to the Nest, hopping from crystal perch to crystal perch as I made my way downward. There was a beach at the base of the fortress, covered with snow and maybe about the length of two warships. Even though the interior of the fortress was packed to the brim, there were relatively few footprints outside.

The king rose from the water. Like the first time I met him, he loomed over me. Once again, I couldn't meet his eyes, but this time, for an entirely different reason. He was silent, watching me with his steely eyes. Light gleamed off his mane of spines, exactly as it would off a metallic crown.

I'm sorry, I said. I didn't think . . . I didn't want to bother anyone –

Your reasons for lying do not concern me, the king said. It is the lie itself that requires my attention.

How long have you known?

Since you first spoke to me. Dragons, even of your species, speak often with senses and emotions, whereas you have only ever used words.

I dared to look up at him. Guess I'm not very good at this whole pretending thing.

You are not. Some of the other dragons have been asking questions about you, too, said the king. But that is not important. It is time for the truth.

Though the king made his desires clear, he wasn't in a rush to get them. He waited as I stared into the distance and sorted through my thoughts, trying to arrange them in any way that made sense.

I haven't been a dragon for very long, I finally said. We were fighting with a witch, and I got hit with some sort of spell . . . next thing I know, I was like this. We've been trying to find some kind of cure, but no one in my village is experienced with magic, so it hadn't been going very well.

I took a deep breath. The next things I said would make or break this relationship.

I'm human, I said. A Viking. I'm not even a kid either; I'm nearly twenty. Guess a youth spell must have been mixed in with this turn-into-a-dragon spell.

A long silence followed. The king said, That was a possibility I had considered. But then, I had considered many things.

. . . Should we leave?

No, he said. You are no threat to our Nest. I do not believe Snotlout is either, regardless of what he has done in the past.

I squinted. You know what he did?

I do not. However, I smelt his unease and guilt when he first arrived.

I sniffed. Good to hear that he felt at least a little guilty.

I fear I cannot help you, his majesty said. It is true that my species possesses magic . . . but it is weak. Mostly, we use it to modify existing spells, or else redirect its flow. But to reverse a spell such as this, or to cast one of my own? It would require more than I can provide alone.

I nodded. Okay. Thank you. Maybe we'll have more luck when we return to Berk.

Berk? He blinked, mouth parting slightly.

That's the name of my village. It's –

Viking territory. Neighbour to the Meatheads and Bog Burglars.

Yes, that's right –

And you are Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third. Heir to the Chiefdom of Berk. Son of Stoick the Vast.

I knew the king knew everything, but this seemed to be a bit too much. How do you know all that?

This time, it was his majesty that looked away. Through our mental connection, I could feel his great mind churning, as vast and mysterious as the sea. I fidgeted. The dragon-side of me didn't like the idea that the king was uncertain about anything.

Because Hiccup, he said, and I didn't know if his sigh was real or in my mind, for nearly twenty years, I have been living alongside your mother.

My wings were numb. I flew back into the Nest with the same shakiness and uncertainty I had displayed before the king helped me. My nose led me to her, and I landed. My wings folded back against my body.

She was teasing Cloudjumper with a fish, wriggling it in front of his nose, and pulling it away at the last moment. He didn't really seem to mind. He played so gently with her. Like a proper dragon and rider. Like friends.

Family.

I was empty inside. I could go over there, but the air between us was thick and viscous, and I couldn't do more than lean against it. The emptiness inside me begged to be filled, but everything I threw in there disappeared down a long, dark hole.

She glanced over. "Oh, hello, Hiccup."

A shudder ran through my body, paralyzing my vocal chords. With effort, I worked them free, and croaked, "Hi."

But by that time, she had returned to playing with Cloudjumper, and my words were heard by deaf ears.

I watched them. I didn't like the nausea that swept over me, but I couldn't wrench my eyes away. Every sweet sound that came out of her mouth was another knife in my chest, plunging over and over again into the same spot until it, too, went numb.

At least that let me turn away. I couldn't stop myself from glancing over my shoulder, hoping that somehow, in the second I had looked away, the scene had changed.

It hadn't. She continued to tussle with Cloudjumper, bonding with him in replacement of her family.

. . . or in spite of.

I didn't want to linger on that thought, so I flew away. But it followed me, thick and oppressing. My next landing was a crash landing.

Hiccup?

I shook my head. I tucked my tendrils against my cheeks, blocking out the king. He could have still spoken to me if he really wanted, but he left me alone.

I wandered blindly, my eyes only seeing enough to stop me from walking into – or off – anything. The only thing I knew for certain was that I was avoiding the scent of the stranger. Her smell was a physical repellent –

No, no, no. She wasn't a stranger anymore. She was Valka of Berk, wife to Chief Stoick the Vast, mother to his tiny little heir . . . my mother. My mother who had died before I could remember; killed defending me from a dragon that had broken into our house. Killed because she loved me so much.

. . . loved me so much she had hidden herself here for twenty years.

I stopped walking. I think my legs were tired. I couldn't really tell. Everything was slow and hazy.

"Hiccup?"

I angled my head in Snotlout's direction, but otherwise didn't move.

"Uh, look." I heard him drag a hand through his hair. "I know you're still mad at me, but there's something we've got to talk about. I haven't asked her yet about taking us back to Berk, but . . ."

Her. There was only one her he could be talking about. She was back there somewhere, playing with Cloudjumper . . .

" – Hiccup, are you listening?"

I jumped. I finally looked at him.

He was frowning. "Are you okay?"

His question echoed in my mind. Was I okay?

I shook my head.

"Oh." Evidently, this was not a situation he had prepared for. "What's wrong?"

I didn't want to tell him, but my body seemed to be out of my control. My claw wrote in the dirt, carving each letter one shaky stroke at a time. The letters, as they were, made no sense to me, until I physically forced myself out of the haze and made the conscious decision to read.

Stranger. Mother.

I stared at the last word, reciting it in my head with cadences I had never used before. What a strange word.

"She had a kid? I didn't see anyone . . ." Snotlout dropped his voice. "Is it dead?"

I shook my head.

"Okay . . .?"

I wrote, Me.

Snotlout stared. "I don't get it."

I growled, secretly glad to be feeling something, even if it was annoyance. I drew a line between mother and me.

He looked at me strangely. "Hiccup, your mother is dead."

I shook my head. She wasn't. Not anymore. Not ever.

"She left us," I said hollowly. "She didn't die protecting me from a dragon. For all I know, there hadn't been a dragon in the first place."

I wondered if Dad had lied to me. Maybe he made that story up because the truth was too terrible to bear.

Snotlout was gone. I looked back to see him coaxing a Gronckle forward in a rare demonstration of his dragon-taming ability. He climbed on top of the heavyset dragon, and they took off. Without really knowing why, I flew after them. They weren't airborne for long. The Gronckle landed, Snotlout slid off, and marched with unmistakable intent.

Towards my mother.

"Snotlout," I squeaked, "what are you doing?"

He cupped his hands around his mouth, and shouted, "Hey, Valka!"

Valka, who must have spent year without anyone ever speaking her name, looked up with wide eyes, destroying any shred of doubt in one fateful instance.

"When were you going to tell me that you're my aunt?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said. But I could smell the lie, smell her fear.

Snotlout laughed humourlessly. "I wasn't even a toddler yet, so maybe you forgot about me. But hey, so was Hiccup. Just a baby, you know?"

"I . . ."

Snotlout cut over her. "I know who you are. It doesn't matter how, but I know."

She planted her staff into the ground and slowly straightened up. Her quiet menace collided with Snotlout's single-minded determination to create an invisible storm. I was caught in the middle. The numbness possessing my mind began to melt, leaving trickles of horror in its place.

"What do you want?" Valka hissed, sounding more like a dragon than human.

Snotlout shrugged. His lips curled at one end. "I don't really care. It'll be up to Berk to decide."

"You will tell no one." She took a threatening step forward, stoking the anger of her Stormcutter, who began to spread his wings. But, he glanced to the side suddenly, and lowered them again. I copied him to see the king there, silently observing.

"Why?" Snotlout sneered. "So everyone doesn't know what a coward you are?"

"Coward? I left my home, my family, the only life I'd ever known to do what I thought was right. You have no idea how much pain I went through. Leaving Stoick and Hiccup behind was the same as cutting off my own hand. Staying away ripped my heart in two, but I had to do it. I couldn't let them know why I left. I couldn't put them at risk!" She swiped through the air, gesturing at the sanctuary surrounding her.

This . . .them . . . this was the reason. I scanned the Nest, which seemed to have lost much of its vibrant colours. I licked my lips, mouth dry. This was so important that she left us behind. They were more important . . .

"Yeah, yeah, Berk killed dragons. We get it. Did you forget who we were?" Snotlout asked, hand on his chest. "Don't worry, we're nobody important. Only living proof that you're wrong. So why aren't you jumping on Cloudjumper and running off to have a happy reunion - ?"

"Snotlout, stop!"

The scream ripped my throat apart. It burned when I breathed. I couldn't do this. I couldn't sit here and hear the answer to that question. I couldn't . . . I couldn't . . . I couldn't handle her excuse.

Cloudjumper nuzzled Valka, pushing her away from us. A Nightmare landed behind us, wings low to the ground in an invitation to board. Both dragons had their tendrils flared; the king had decided to step in.

"You wouldn't understand," Valka said. "You've never been torn in two the way I have been for all these years."

"Let's go. Please." I begged, pushing at Snotlout's heel. I couldn't trust myself to fly right now.

He had one foot on the Nightmare, and I jumped on behind it. But Snotlout, he just couldn't let it go.

"Hiccup is the only thing standing between me and the chiefdom," he said. "Do you get that? He's the only thing standing between me and my dreams. I could have gotten rid of him a few days ago, but I chickened out because I . . . you don't abandon them. . . you don't turn on family . . ."

He stammered, speech more disjointed and faltering as he reached some quiet revelation of his own. I could sense the storm clouds growing. She was going to explode, and I was going to be right in the middle. . .

My tendrils flared, and I begged of the king, Please.

The Nightmare suddenly grabbed Snotlout by his collar, dropped him on his back, and flew off before Valka could say anything. I sunk against his warmth. And pretty much fell off when he landed.

The Nightmare, smelling my distress, cooed. He licked my back, and nuzzled his snout into the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes. I wanted Toothless back. I wanted Dad.

I wanted to go home.

The very air, filled with the scent of Valka's flock, was smothering me. I needed the crisp, clean air of Berk. I wanted to surround myself with the people and dragons that were my family. I didn't want to be here anymore.

Hiccup?

The king's shadow fell over us. The Nightmare bowed, and backed away.

I am sorry, his majesty said. My actions were impulsive and irresponsible. I should not have told you.

No, I said back. I needed to know. Thank you.

He studied me a long time. I truly am sorry.

His mind retreated back into itself, leaving me alone in my head.

Snotlout was nearby, sitting on a rock with his head in his hands. Despair rolled off him. The stench almost made my toes curl. Why was he upset? None of this had to do with him!

As I approached, his head turned. I caught a glimpse of an eye before he hid his face again.

" . . . I was going to kill you."

" . . . What?" I said, stomach dropping.

"With Eret," he clarified. "He was lying when he said they wouldn't have hurt you, wasn't he? I had thought . . . when I did think about what would have happened to you, I just assumed you would go find somewhere else to live. That was stupid. You wouldn't have just been gone, you would have been gone. They would have killed you.

"I tried to kill my own cousin," he whispered, rubbing a hand over his face. "And if you hadn't been acting so you, I would have killed you."

What was I supposed to do with that? Comfort him? Say: 'Hey, I know you purposely almost got me killed earlier, but don't feel bad about it'? How he felt about it wasn't really my business anyways. I had enough to deal with.

I crawled into a small cranny in the fortress's walls, curled up, and squeezed my eyes shut.

Which was better: to think you were responsible for your mom's death, or to know she was alive but didn't want you?

I don't remember falling asleep. However long I slept though, it wasn't enough. I had to pry my eyelids open, and afterwards I just let them shut, not really seeing a reason to get up now. Let me return to sleep. At least there I could get some peace.

"Hiccup, where are you?"

I opened my eyes again when I heard the note of panic in Snotlout's voice. What. Did he need to pick a fight with my mom in front of me again? Reluctantly, I stalked out of my hiding place.

"Hiccup!" Upon sighting me, he ran over. "Hiccup, the Bewilderbeast is out feeding, and your mom and Cloudjumper can't handle him. You got to take care of this!"

Take care of what –?

A furious screech rang through the air. I straightened up, sniffing.

"Toothless?"

Review Responses:

Guest: Thank you!

a random person: It was certainly on the king's list of possibilities, especially since Hiccup had come packaged with a Viking and he understood how to read/write.

Noctus Fury: Well, now that Hiccup's in the know, you can add tension between him and Valka. Of course, Valka will have no idea why . . . and it's questionable if she'd even notice since he's always been a very odd dragon anyways. But since she knows that Snotlout knows her secret, it'll probably distract her from tiny dragon Hiccup anyways.