Chapter Eight
February 5, 2011 – 5:43am
Being a passenger on what Jimmy had always thought of as the "driver's side" was rather disconcerting, but he imagined it was probably easier over in the UK, where he'd also be on the other side of the road – that is, not on the same side of the car as the oncoming traffic. He wondered briefly how Ducky could stand the same situation in reverse, especially given Jimmy's sometimes erratic driving. Then he wondered whether Ducky had simply been saving it all up for one big payback ride. If it hadn't been for the seriousness of the situation, he thought, that ride could have been tonight.
"You can park over here, Doctor," Jimmy directed, pointing toward an all-too-familiar parking lot several blocks down from the crime scene. It helped to think of it as just a crime scene, and not –
Focus, Palmer. Fall apart later. For now, just do what you have to do.
It was a different police officer who approached them – it's earlier, probably that guy hasn't got here yet, or is doing something else – but like the other, he waved them through once he saw their credentials.
"Your director is running around somewhere over there," the man said, pointing toward the northwest corner of the parking lot.
"Thank you, Officer Ames," Ducky said politely as they ducked under the yellow tape. They moved slowly toward the indicated area, Jimmy's eyes scanning the scene for any details that seemed out of place…
The MCRT van is farther away. That car is still on its side where it got blown over, though. Oh, it's FBI. Wonder if it's Fornell's…
Jimmy's head whipped around, toward the section of building where Fornell had been found, and after him, Tim and Tony. But rescue operations had barely begun; they'd hardly had a chance to start clearing away the rubble – and the ruins looked different, too, not the same shape at all… he wasn't even sure he was looking at the right spot, now…
"Doctor Mallard, what are you and Palmer doing here?" Leon Vance's voice startled Jimmy from his preoccupation.
To his relief, Ducky said nothing about his dream, or premonition, or whatever it was. Of course not; we don't have time to waste looking for straightjackets. Instead, he told Vance about the phone call he'd received.
"And you, Palmer?"
Vance's question took Jimmy by surprise; he was used to being ignored by the NCIS director. "I, uh, I –" he stammered, trying to come up with something plausible. "I saw it on TV," he blurted. Well, it was true, anyway, if not the full truth.
"I picked him up on my way." Ducky covered smoothly for him. "Director – what news do we have?"
Vance's eyes closed briefly as he shook his head. "Nothing, yet," he confessed. "The last thing they got through the microphones was that all the doors were wired with explosives. They were going in through one of the windows instead. They made it inside safely, but then – something set off the explosives."
Jimmy's mouth went dry. "By 'them,' you mean Gibbs' team?" he asked.
"And Fornell's, and a team of ATF agents," Vance confirmed. "Homeland Security was coordinating from outside." His voice went flat on that line.
Jimmy let the unspoken accusation go; he wasn't interested in playing the blame game, especially now. Instead, he turned the discussion back to his top priority. "Director, what can we do to help?"
"At the moment, nothing," Vance told them. "FBI has the crime scene for now, but Homeland has been pushing to have this declared a terrorist attack so they can take over. Even ATF is trying to get a piece of the action. The DoD is breathing down everyone's necks, and at the moment, we're in the doghouse. Whoever gets jurisdiction, it's not likely to be us."
"What do you mean, 'in the doghouse?'" Ducky asked.
"The other three have accused NCIS of withholding relevant information," Vance explained. "Apparently Gibbs knew that something was going on here, but didn't say anything until this location was discovered by other means. I'm hoping it's just that they didn't connect whatever they knew about this place with the stolen weapons case until the FBI made the connection for them."
Or a skeptical NCIS agent didn't think about his crazy boyfriend's warning until he found out that he'd have to come here, Jimmy thought but wisely kept to himself. Sounds like Tony tried to keep everyone safe, but without anything more concrete to go on, all he could do was what I did – pass on the warning and hope that people listen…
"In any case, there's no need for either of you to be here," Vance continued. "Why don't you –"
"I'm not going home, Director," Jimmy interrupted. "Isn't there something we can do to help? Not with the – the evidence –" He swallowed hard, his chest tightening suddenly.
Ducky continued for him. "I'm sure there are paramedics on site, Director, but surely two more pairs of hands would be useful. Or –"
"No." Vance held up his hand to stop them. "NCIS can't risk any accusations of tampering with evidence, not after this. And I can't risk any more of my people. What's left of the building isn't stable; neither is the overpass. But –" He raised his voice to override their protests. "If you want to stay and wait with me, you're welcome to do so. But NCIS is strictly hands-off here." He fixed each of them with a stern glare. "Understood?"
Jimmy nodded, still unable to speak past the lump in his throat, and Ducky echoed the gesture. They followed Vance to where he had been setting up before their arrival – a black agency van full of electronic equipment. Jimmy thought he recognized the two men inside as MTAC technicians, but he wasn't sure. That was an area well beyond his clearance level.
Vance climbed into the back of the van, but invited Ducky and Jimmy to take the front seats. "It's better than sitting on the ground," he said, before turning to his techs for a situation report.
As he sat staring out the window, Jimmy felt a strange calm settle over him. None of this seemed real. He didn't know if it was shock, or if it was just that things were different from his – dream, or whatever it was. He knew he should be upset – hell, he knew he should be a total wreck by now – but he felt like he was cut off from his emotions. It would be bad later, he knew, when it all registered; but for now, it left his mind free to think, to examine the puzzle before him.
He didn't question how he'd known what was going to happen. That wasn't important now. He also refused to question his certainty that what he'd experienced before was what would have happened, had he not warned Tony. Somehow, what he'd said had changed Tony's actions, and that change had led to other changes. The only questions that concerned Jimmy now were: what impact did those changes have, and were they enough to have somehow saved his friends' lives?
Ducky, sitting in the passenger seat, turned from his own study of their surroundings to look at him. "Penny for your thoughts, Mr. Palmer?" he asked, keeping his voice low to avoid being overheard by the techs in the rear of the van.
"So much of this is familiar, but there are enough differences to make me wonder," Jimmy responded, also speaking quietly.
"Such as?"
"The building doesn't look right. I'm not a demolitions expert, but doesn't it look like the explosion started on one of the top floors, on the side closest to the highway?"
Ducky peered in the direction his assistant indicated. "I would have to concur with your assessment, in the absence of an expert's opinion," he agreed.
"Right. But – before, it seemed more like the source of the explosion was lower. You can still see that parts of the ground floor are intact – where the upper floors haven't collapsed on it – but before, there was a lot less of the lower walls left."
Ducky frowned in concentration. "Jimmy," he whispered. "I'm not yet ready to concede that you did dream the future – but even if you did, how could that change where a bomb was placed in this building?"
Jimmy ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I don't know," he admitted. "None of this makes sense, Doctor Mallard, but I have to go with what I know – and I know that I've been through this before. Some of the details have changed, but for the most part it's all the same."
"So…" Ducky was hesitant to voice his next question. "Did anyone… survive, before?"
Absently, Jimmy nodded, his eyes shifting toward the section of the building where he thought they'd pulled Fornell out. It was hard to tell, now…
"Fornell did – or at least, he was alive when they loaded him into the ambulance." Jimmy closed his eyes then, remembering that what he'd next seen was the one thing he had hoped never to see in his life – and realizing that he was all too likely to see it again tonight. He'd had a chance to change the future, to save lives, but he hadn't tried hard enough, hadn't done anything right, and now it was too late… The calm he'd been feeling before evaporated, and guilt and despair flooded in to take its place.
Jimmy turned away, pretending to look out the driver's side window, hoping that Ducky couldn't see the tears pouring down his face. But he couldn't hide the way his shoulders shook with suppressed sobs – not that Ducky needed to see that to understand the pain his young assistant was in. The doctor had seen far too many grieving souls in his lifetime to not recognize the one before him now; and as he had so many times before, he set aside his own pain to offer comfort to another.
Jimmy felt a familiar hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from the window and into Ducky's arms. He pressed his hand against his mouth, fighting to stifle the pained cry that wanted to claw its way from his throat and escape. His whole body shook from the struggle, until Ducky pulled him close and whispered, "It's alright, son. Let it go."
Then there was no stopping it, no way to hold back any longer. With a strangled cry, Jimmy began to sob uncontrollably, sagging limply in Ducky's arms. The older man rocked him gently back and forth, his own tears falling silently, though no less painfully. Vance and the two MTAC techs watched them for a moment; then, as if acting on the same impulse, they turned back to their work, offering the grieving pair what small amount of privacy they could.