Author's note: 'Allo! I just found this magical link in my emails that allows me to reply to any and all reviews! (Except guests, duh) So if you get a reply months after you posted it, that's why.

Also, I've decided to give a shout out to jessio. Thanks for all the reviews! Next, I should probably have pointed out that the description for the dresses the trio wears is actually from a photo. I can't put a link, but it's basically the BTT crossdressing with Germany, Romano, and Canada looking on in horror. It's pretty popular, so it should be easy to find if you're interested. It's pretty hard to miss.

Disclaimer- I don't own them. This is . I wouldn't be writing fan fiction if I owned them. I would just make it all canon.

Warning- Must I still put this? Cuss-Cuss-Cussing.

~~~~~~TOMATOES~~~~~~

Two college students walked alongside each other on the cement sidewalk on campus. One, a psychology major, and the other majoring in business. It sounded like the beginning of a bad joke.

Now, a description should be had. On the right was a tall young man, with long blond hair and blue eyes, violet when the sun hit them right, hidden behind round glasses. The most prominent feature was a curly ahoge that he couldn't get to stay down. He was a soft spoken Canadian, the polar opposite of his elder american brother.

On the left was Lovino, a couple inches shorter but with an equal amount of social capability. However, where Mathew couldn't get others to hear him, Lovino couldn't shut up. They made an odd pairing, but appearances deceive. The two complemented each other, one voice making up for the other's lack thereof.

The blond looked over at his unusually quiet friend, the student seemingly lost in thought. "Lovino?" He asked, prodding the man's shoulder slightly as they strolled along their path.

"Oh, hmm? What is it?"

"I was just wondering about your apartment. You haven't talked about it much. I don't suppose I could come visit some time?"

The Italian groaned. "You know, I would let you visit, but some bastards locked me out." He shouted the word bastards with a emphasis, as if hoping the insult would somehow reach those he spoke of. Somewhere in the world, Antonio, Francis, and Gilbert collectively sneezed.

"What? Can't you just jimmy the lock?" Asked Mathew, as if that answer was obvious. Lovino just stared.

"Well, excuse me if can't break into other people's houses, I don't know what you do for fun."

Mathew flushed slightly. "Sorry Ms. Perfect if my extracurricular activities bother you. I'll have you know that my family likes to forget I'm still outside and lock me out."

The Canadian's pleasant facade was slipping, as it often did when he was around those he was comfortable with. The passive-aggressive beast was slowly making it's way out of it's obscure cave. Beware to those who pass.

"You sure it's not just Alfred who's locking you out?"

Mathew's eyes widened. "That dick! I'm going to get him for that, I swear. This has been going on for fuckin' years."

The brunet laughed before looking at the blond carefully. "You really can break into my house for me? Your not just pulling my leg."

"Of course I can. I'm not some liar. I can do important things, unlike some people."

"That was one fucking time!" Protested the elder.

~~~~~~TOMATOES~~~~~~

That's how they ended in front of Lovino's house. It looked really shifty to Lovino, which meant it would look even worse to an outsider. Which is why the Italian stood guard. It really didn't help his case.

Mathew was making an easy conversation as he picked Lovino's multiple locks, (What can I say? The kid's paranoid.) as opposed to the shorter's nervous behavior. Small talk such as the weather, school, hey by the way did you know my boyfriend lives downstairs, and many other mundane topics.

"Oi, back up a sec. Your boyfriend lives downstairs? It's that cuban guy, right?"

"Juan is just a friend. We hang out for ice-cream, that's all. My boyfriend's Ludwig's older brother, but don't freak out. They're nothing alike. His name's-"

"Goddamit, you're dating the Prussian-bastard, aren't you?"

Pausing for a second, the blond looked up. "Did you just call him Prussian? You know that country's long gone, right? Anyways, he's a good guy once you get past his rough exterior. I mean, I used to think he was a hoser, and look at me now."

Though Lovino was still reeling in horror, he snickered.

"What?" Mathew asked.

"You said hoser, eh." This was a sore point for Mathew, having grown up in America. And once Lovino had discovered it, he wouldn't let up on it.

"I did not! Shut up!"

"Oh, should I stop talking aboot that? Is it getting on your fookin' nerves?"

Mathew reared back, about to let loose on his famous three hour rant, when they were interrupted.

"Hey birdie! What're you doing here?"

Dammit. You know, thinking back on it, his life had sort of always been like this. Maybe God had it out for him? Karma doesn't drag on for this long.

Gilbert grabbed Mathew into a hug. Francis and Antonio predictably followed behind, Francis hurrying in joining the hug-fest. "Salut Mathieu! Où as-tu été ces derniers jours? Ton grand-frère manquais tu!" (Hi Mathew! Where have you been these days? Big brother missed you!)

Antonio stood next to Lovino, both feeling the pain of a third wheel. The Italian looked puzzled. "Grande-frère? That means big bro, right? They related?"

The elder gave Lovi the incredulous 'you talkin' to me?' look. "Ahh, no. From what I've heard, Francis grew up with him and tried to take over the position. Something about territory and rivalry with Arthur." He said Arthur with a extra layer of distaste. The Italian was sure there was some story behind it. A long, tragic one he didn't care about.

"Okay, break it up bastards. We've got stuff to do, dammit."

Mathew managed to worm his way out of their grip, shooting them a dirty glare. "I couldn't breathe."

Gilbert cackled, attacking Mathew with a bear hug from behind. Sighing, the blond slowly dragged his boyfriend back to the door before crouching down and resuming his previous occupation. The albino just kind of hung onto him awkwardly, showing no signs of future release. Antonio looked down at Mathew's work curiously.

"Why are you breaking in? You know that's illegal." He asked politely. No one seemed to mind the act though, just standing by idly and chatting. Lovino stopped short from punching the brunet in the shoulder.

"Don't you remember! You fucking locked me out, idiot!"

"If you wanted to pick the lock you could have just asked."

The Italian glared at the tanned man for a moment, making him uncomfortable. Everyone he knew was a fucking criminal, weren't they. He must have gotten it from his father's side. Most knew that that side of the family was entangled with drug lords. They just weren't sure how.

One quiet click later Mathew swung the door open. Before Lovino could take a step, everyone ran inside. By everyone, that was actually insinuating the bad touch trio. The quiet blond stood holding the door and looking slightly disheveled before politely walking in, and Lovino closed the door with a resounding thud.

The first thing to notice was that the apartment was eerily quiet. Not a peep came from the trio before him, which had stopped at the living room.

Gilbert's voice rang out. "You don't think we'll have to pay for the leak our ceiling's going to have?"

"Why don't we settle the debt on Lovi's shoulders? It's his water."

Stepping forward, the student spoken of registered that his nice floor was quite a bit more glistening and soggy then it was when he left it. Wading his way over his squishy rug, he opened the door to his kitchen with a almost tangible reluctance. Everyone followed in silence, sensing that trouble was abrew.

All the taps in the kitchen were on. At full blare, nonetheless. The silver sinks were clogged with dishes that the brunet hadn't had time to wash, therefore only allowing the water to go up and out. The cabinets were open and soggy pieces of cat food and human food alike were scattered across the floor, floating slightly. It was chaos, and in the center of it all, sitting on his kitchen table, was a cat. A very satisfied looking cat.

Lovino's eye twitched,and his mouth opened once or twice with no sound coming out. The trio looked at him worriedly, but Mathew was more scared for the fate of the kitten.

It probably wasn't going to get out of this alive, unless someone buried it in Pet Sematary. Then it would wreak it's horrible havoc upon the world, if it weren't for the fact that her ex-owner would probably be delighted to kill the poor fluff ball all over again. Ah, the never-ending circle of life. Such a beautiful thing. As they say in layman's terms, if it breathes it must eventually die. No matter how many times one must put it down.

Author's note: STOP. Don't call PETA. I promise Lovino's not a cold-hearted killer of animals. People, on the other hand… So, sorry again if you think either Canada or Romano or both are really OOC. Ever read Part Right, Half Wrong, a Third Crazy? It's influencing my outlook on Canadia's personality. As for Romano, well, he's got to have different sides to his personality. Everyone does. Like, I'm the quiet girl in the classroom, the obnoxiously loud fangirl, and overlord to all of my (few) friends. There. Three different sides. I figure Lovino's a bit like that too. Minor asshole, major asshole, adorable little defenseless asshole, and bashful apologetic/thankful asshole. I'm sure there are many more, but those are the main ones.

Anyways, now for some personal ramblings. It's snowing! SNOW! YAY. So school was canceled. Also, my new and first Wacom Intuos Comic just came in and I am so very delighted. I might post the "link" to my DeviantArt account as soon as I can figure out the freaking thing. Homestuck alert, I'm at the point where I don't understand their romances. Like, I understand the first four, but things get fuzzy after that. Midterms are a pain, and I'm pretty sure I failed my french speaking exam. I got through four awful sentences on the time of two minutes. We were supposed to come up with twelve, but I was taking to long. WOOOH! I'm so screwed.

Tell me if I grammered, spelled, or did anything else terribly and unforgivably wrong. As always, REVIEW OR I SHALL STEAL YOUR SOUL. Or at least steal some of your cookies. Mmmm, cookies.

May lollipops fall from the sky and all turtles fly,

LollipopTurtle