I begin my life anew

Chapter 6

My vision was blurry when I reopened my eyes for the first time, since I last saw Hope. I looked in front of me to see a few people staring.

"Where am I?" My vision became clearer and Serah appeared.

"Sis," She said with some relief in her voice. "You're finally awake."

I couldn't remember anything after I saw Hope in my house, I rubbed my eye and looked over to see Snow. "What happened to me?"

"After you were attacked by Caius you went into a state of shock, then you went unconscious." Serah sat next to me. I didn't respond, just thinking of that night was more than enough negative feeling than I needed. "The baby is alright too." Serah said with a smile.

I looked over at her, "I'm surprised," I said. "I would think the worst could've happened to it."

"The doctor said it was a miracle that it survived after what you went through." Snow said over Serah's shoulder.

I slipped my hand over my stomach and felt the large bump still remain there, I felt relief that the child remained safe. "So when do I leave?" I asked.

"Tomorrow, but you have to be on bed rest for the next few months."

I sighed at the thought, then I looked at Serah again. "Do you see now why I asked you to raise my child as your own, Serah?" I gave a stern look.

"Sis-"

"No," I cut off her sentence. "When Caius attacked me, I was unable to protect myself, I endangered not only my life but my child's life."

Serah held her head down. "I see what you're saying Lightning..."

"...Good." I crossed my arms, and thus the conversation was ended.

Over the hours lying in a bed ordered not to move from it, I had begun to go over previous thoughts and doubts. Most of my doubt was centered around giving up my child to Serah and Snow, I tried to do as Serah had said "to think of the positives" and thinking of my child's life with happiness and free of harm was more than enough to convince me of going with my original plan. Although, I couldn't help but feel a problem that seemed to collapse on top of this plan, I wasn't quite certain as to what this problem was but it seemed to try and blow my thoughts in a jumble.

Before they left, Serah and Snow told me they weren't going to be able to take me back to Baruch when I would be released from this silent white prison, tomorrow morning. That left me with a question just as big as my decision, how was I getting home? There would be no way I could walk home on my own, especially since I am under strict order to not be on my feet all the time.

I heard a disturbance at the door of the room, and a girl who looked no older than seventeen, entered my room shouting at others outside. When she shut the door with slight force, she turned her body and looked at me with a self-conscious expression printed across her face. For a while, the girl stood there, staring.

"I think you have the wrong room." I said crossing my arms, the girl still continued to stare. I began to glare at her. "Didn't your mother ever teach you manners, such as not staring at others?" That seemed to break the girl from her trance, she turned away embarrassed.

"I believe you have the wrong room." I said once again, hoping she would leave.

The girl looked at me again with her mauve eyes, as if in disbelief of what she saw. "I'm s-sorry!" She stuttered with a sheepish look. "It's just that, you remind me of someone, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable." She bowed with a certain respect. When she stood back up, I noticed a flaw on her face... A scar that laid upon her right eye, for some reason I felt curious as to how she received such a deep cut on such a sensitive part of her face. I didn't think twice before asking, "How did you receive that scar?"

The girl's face turned from awkwardness to a dull expression as she felt the wrinkled line that flawed her complexion. "If you must know such a tale, perhaps I will share it to you another time..." I noticed her whole attitude seemed to change just from the mention of her scar.

"I would like to talk about it now, if you don't mind me." I said with a calm tone of voice with my hands at the bottom of my stomach, instead of crossed. "Sit with me."

The girl looked skeptical about my proposal, but instead followed along and sat on the edge of the bed, by my feet. She seemed distant, but it didn't bother me so much. "So how did you receive that scar?"

The girl looked to the floor, "My name is Sydney, in case you were ever going to ask." She said with much displeasure.

"I apologize, my name is Lightning." Sydney suddenly jerked her head towards me, and squinted her eyes as me in a sort of anger. I looked back at her becoming fearful of the anger that seemed to linger in her eyes, like Caius' eyes they were, just glancing into my soul...

"I remember you now..." She growled. "Perhaps you should be telling the story of how I received the scar, instead of myself."

I stared back puzzled of what she meant; I never recalled seeing her before. "You're crazy, I've never seen you before in my life!" I said getting frightened at this point.

Sydney leaned in closer to my face. "Perhaps this will jog your memory," Our noses practically touched when she stopped leaning in. "How about now soldier, does it look like I'm fucking daft now you lil' shit?" She shouted loud as a lieutenant would in the Guardian Core.

I shoved her back to give myself some space, "You a nut that's what you what you are!"

Sydney stood up and moved her blond bangs away from her right eye, "I got this scar because you wanted to show yourself off," she scolded. "That accident at the academy six years ago, you wanted to prove how tough you were because I fucking didn't give you what you wanted, so you acted like a showoff to try and prove some sort of point."

Those memories seem to hit me like her attitude on that day. "You disobeyed orders and you spit at me, if you weren't up to get your ass kicked you shouldn't have joined in the first place!"

Sydney, teeming with rage picked up the chair Snow had been sitting on earlier and threw it across the room, creating a large dent in the wall. "I didn't have a choice!" She returned her focus on me; her eyes were lit with fire as she growled with pure fury. It seemed like a jolt of lightning when she grabbed the collar of my hospital dress, I saw the fight between me and Caius all over again, like an instant I began to cry and beg for her mercy. I felt so weak begging a younger person than me for mercy, what had I become?

I looked up at Sydney, her eyes were her normal mauve color and they looked sorrowful in a sense, she released her clutched fist from my dress and backed away to the door and slid down to the floor. Her face showed much shame; she looked regretful of her actions. "I'm sorry..." She trailed off her words. "I tend to lose my cool sometimes, I did not mean for it to go that far." Her face was buried in her hands as she wiped her it of falling tears.

I wiped my eyes of tears, "No, I apologize; I should never had brought up such a sensitive subject." I said, trying to sit on the edge of the bed. "My curiosity got the better of me." I stood up and walked over to the teen; I knelt down to her level and comforted her.

"Lightning, I sorry if I caused you distress with my actions..." Sydney moved closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder. "I just hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me and my horrible temper."

At first I had a sort of sympathy for the girl, I can remember a few times when I reacted that way, but to me it seemed she lacked common sense which is why she over reacted in the first place. With that, I turned my head away, "I cannot forgive you, I would expect you to be more civilized than that." I stood back up on my feet and walked back over to my bed.

"I understand..." Sydney said wiping her nose; she continued to sit on the floor. "I wouldn't forgive myself either." She stood up and turned to face the door. "I give my apologies to you and your unborn child." Sydney opened the door and left.

I sat there and softly caressed my stomach, it felt as if the youngling inside was telling me that I had made some sort of fault. I looked to the small slit of the glass paine in the door and noticed a couple of people gathering around the corner of it, I could tell Sydney was there still feeling regret. Perhaps I did make a fault of some sort, but I knew that forgiving Sydney would not help her, a child with such a violent and reckless past with little or no discipline from older authorities is what caused to her become the woman she is today. I assumed I could try to shape her better, making her feel regret with no apology to relieve such a feeling was the first step.