A/N
Well would you know it? My team won their other 'must win game' tonight and are keeping this play off alive! And because of that, and also because you guys are totally awesome, I'm gonna give you another chapter tonight.
Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.
Chapter 10.
Santana stood frozen to the spot and tried to take in what the blonde had just said.
No... no! I have to stop her, I have to talk to her...I...
She took off, desperately trying to catch up with the blonde. When she reached the top of the slope she saw the blonde a few feet ahead of her.
"Brittany! Wait!" she called out and started to run towards her.
Brittany didn't stop, tears were running down her face. Santana called out again and when she reached the blonde she grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Please wait." she pleaded.
Brittany didn't turn around.
"Don't make this harder than it already is Santana." Brittany said and shook Santana's hand off before she continued walking.
"Can't we at least talk about it?" Santana said.
"There's nothing more to say..."
"I know that you have feelings for me... " Santana said softly.
Brittany stopped for a second when she heard Santana's words then continued walking a little faster. Santana ran up to the blonde and stopped her by stepping in front of her.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel something for me... " Santana said and looked straight into her eyes.
Brittany swallowed hard and met Santana's gaze.
"I...I can't feel like this, don't you get it? I can't feel this way about you.. I can't... " Brittany said almost desperately.
"Please Santana, I need to go back to the cottage. I... please Santana.." Brittany said through her tears.
Santana held back her own tears as she stepped aside to let the blonde pass. Brittany gave Santana one last look then left the brunette behind. As soon as Brittany walked away Santana couldn't hold back the tears anymore.
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Brittany walked in a daze the whole way back. She couldn't think straight, her mind was a complete mess. When she reached the end of the forest and saw the cottage up ahead she walked faster. She just needed to get away from it all.
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Anita had returned and was just about to go back to the car to get the last bag when Brittany came round the corner of the cottage.
"Brittany, hi? Are you guys alrea-" she stopped mid-sentence when she saw that the girl was crying and looked very upset.
Brittany ignored Anita, she couldn't deal with this now. Storming pass the surprised woman she ran straight to her room and threw herself down on the bed.
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Anita looked at the cabin door confused, what was wrong with the blonde and where was Santana? Suddenly her daughter appeared, looking just as upset as the blonde. She walked towards the boathouse never even looking in her mother's direction. Anita knew immediately that something was up by the way the two women were acting, and it wasn't something good.
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Santana saw her mother in the corner of her eye but she never looked in her direction. She knew it would only be a matter of time before her mother would come after her. She headed straight to the boathouse where she grabbed her bag and put it on the bed before she started to throw her belongings into it. Tears were running down her face which she furiously wiped away.
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Anita left the last bag of groceries on the front porch then walked down to the boathouse.
"Santana?" she asked as she walked into the small building.
"What?" Santana all but shouted.
"What happened?" her mother asked and stepped closer to her upset daughter.
"Nothing." Santana said and zipped her bag close.
"It's not 'nothing' Santana. Brittany just stormed into the cabin with tears running down her face and here you are, packing your stuff and I can see that you've been crying too. So don't give me 'nothing' Santana." Anita said and walked over to her daughter.
"I don't wanna talk about it..." Santana said.
"Well you're gonna talk about it, and why are you packing?" Anita asked.
"I'm going home." Santana simply said and threw the bag over her shoulder.
Anita looked at her daughter quizzically.
"What? Home? Santana, what happened?" Anita asked and put her hand on Santana's arm.
"It's complicated..." Santana said meekly.
"Come on Santana, you know you can talk to me about anything." Anita said gently and gestured for her daughter to sit down on the bed.
Santana sank down on the bed with a sigh, looking down at her hands not knowing where to start. Anita hadn't seen her daughter like this in a long time so she knew something serious had happened. She put one arm around Santana's shoulder.
"Has something happened between you and Brittany?" she asked tentatively.
Santana nodded slowly, her head still down. She could feel new tears was about to erupt and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold them back. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, Anita waited patiently for Santana to speak.
"I'm in love with her..." she finally whispered as new tears slowly trickled down her cheek.
Anita's jaw dropped and she gasped in surprise. Of all the things she'd thought Santana would say, those five words was definitely not on her list. Santana heard her mother's gulp of surprise but couldn't bring herself to look at the woman.
"I know it's fucking crazy and wrong and that I've only known her for a couple of days but I'm in love with her mom..." Santana said afraid of what her mother would think.
"I...I... well to say I'm shocked would be an understatement. How did this happen?" Anita asked.
"I don't know...it just did... I understand if you're freaking out and that you're disappointed in me... but I didn't plan for this to happen and God how I wish I could take it back..." Santana said while her tears kept streaming down her face.
It was true, she wished she would've been stronger. Sure, Brittany was the one who kissed her the first time but Santana was definitely the one who initiated what led to the second which led them to go further and now everything was a complete mess.
"And Brittany? Does she have feelings for you too?" Anita asked, still shocked by this revelation.
"I know she feels something for me but it doesn't matter, she's engaged and is getting married in a couple of months so..." Santana said defeated.
Anita didn't know what to say, her daughter was obviously very upset but she didn't know how to respond, how to comfort her cause her own mind was working on over drive trying to process everything.
"Please don't be mad... I'm so sorry for messing everything up and I'm sorry for disappointing you but I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna go home... I can't stay here..." Santana said and wiped away the tears.
She got up from the bed and grabbed her bag. Her mother stayed on the bed trying to make sense of it all. Santana stopped by the door, she turned around and looked at her mother. Anita was staring into space with a troubled expression on her face, obviously trying to take everything in. Santana opened the door and left.
The sound of the door closing brought Anita back to reality. She looked up and noticed that Santana was gone. Her first thought was to try and catch up with her daughter and convince her to stay but she couldn't move. She was completely shocked by this news and needed some time to process everything.
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Santana threw her bag in the backseat and started the car, leaving a cloud of dust behind her as she drove away from the cottage.
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Brittany was lying on the bed still crying. She'd heard the sound of a car starting and leaving and realized Santana had left. God how did she manage to get herself in such a mess? Everything felt like a complete chaos and she had no idea how to get out of it. The soft sound of a knock on the door startled her. She knew Anita stood on the other side and had probably figured things out, if Santana hadn't already told her. She heard the faint squeaking of the door opening but didn't turn around.
"Brittany?... How are you?" Anita asked.
She knew it was a dumb question, obviously the girl wasn't fine but she didn't know what else to say. When she left the boathouse she knew she at least had to go see how the other woman was doing. Judging by what she saw though, the blonde seemed far from fine.
"She's gone right?..." Brittany asked with a hoarse voice.
"Yes. She's going back home." Anita answered and noticed the blonde nodded slowly in acknowledgment.
"Can I get you anything?" Anita asked gently.
"No... I just wanna be alone for a while..." Brittany answered.
"Okay. Well I'll just be in the kitchen if you need anything." Anita said and left the room.
Brittany closed her eyes hard, tears slipped out and made their way down to her already dampened pillow. What was she going to do? It felt unreal. She wished that she was just having a nightmare and that she would wake up soon and then everything would be okay again.
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Brittany had eventually fallen asleep, completely exhausted.
When she woke up a couple of hours later it was getting dark outside. She checked her phone for the time and it was past 7.30 pm. Deciding to get some air she grabbed her shoes and walked out of the room. Anita was sitting in the living room watching television. She smiled kindly when she saw the blonde.
"Are you hungry? There's food to heat up in the fridge." Anita said.
"I'm not hungry, but thanks anyway. I'm just gonna go outside for a while to get some air." the blonde said.
Anita nodded and Brittany smiled weakly before she went outside. She walked down to the pier and sat down by the edge and put her feet into the water. She cast a glance at the boathouse and felt fresh tears starting to build up.
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Anita had been sitting in the cabin contemplating the whole situation with her daughter and Brittany. She knew she had to do something, talk to the blonde and let her know that she wasn't judging her, or Santana too for that matter. She'd called her daughter three times since she'd left but Santana had turned her phone off. Anita had left two messages and told her that she wasn't disappointed in her, she could never be disappointed in her and begged her to call back as soon as she got the message. Knowing her daughter she knew she wouldn't be getting any phone calls tonight and she wasn't going to push her. She'd call back when she was ready but the blonde was still here and was probably feeling very confused. Anita decided she would take a risk and try to talk to the blonde.
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Brittany had no idea how long she'd been sitting there by the water when she heard that someone was coming. She turned around and saw Anita walking slowly towards her.
"Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?" Anita asked gently.
"No, I don't mind..." Brittany answered meekly.
Anita smiled and walked over to the blonde and took a seat beside her. Brittany was looking out over the water.
"Santana's told you hasn't she?" Brittany said softly and glanced quickly at Santana's mother.
"Yes. She didn't tell me any details or anything like that, just that something had happened between you two. But from the state you both were in I could already tell that something had happened." Anita explained.
"She left because of me right?" Brittany asked sadly and Anita's heart broke for the woman beside her.
"Oh honey... I think she just needed some time and space to think about things." Anita said hoping that blonde wouldn't take the blame for Santana's departure.
"Yeah, space from me... I don't blame her though..." Brittany said sadly.
"Sweetie..." Anita said and put her arm around Brittany's shoulder.
The blonde kept staring out over the lake, there was a moment's silence.
"I don't know how to stop feeling this way... She makes me feel something... Nathan has never made me feel like this... and it's crazy cause I've only known her for a few days..." Brittany whispered, afraid to say it too loud.
Anita rubbed Brittany's shoulder gently as she listened to the blonde who pretty much was repeating what Santana told her earlier.
"I'm so confused... It's like I don't even know who I am anymore... I've never been attracted to women before, but I am attracted to Santana... God what does that mean? Then there's Nate and he's like the sweetest guy and I don't wanna hurt him... God! What's wrong with me? I don't know what to do Anita, I don't know what to do..." she started crying again and Anita wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and held her tight, hoping she could provide some comfort.
Brittany turned and let Anita embrace her.
"I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you this; I'll always be here if you need to talk, about anything." she pulled back and looked at the blonde woman.
"I'll never judge you. I can only imagine how confusing this is but know that there's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. No matter what you decide to do, you'll have my support. I know we've only known each other for a short time but I care about you very much and if you need me, I'm here. Okay?" Anita said gently and wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek.
"Thank you..." Brittany said.
"You must be starving, come on. Let's go back to the cottage and fix you something to eat." Anita suggested.
"Okay." Brittany said.