I begin my life anew

Chapter 10

The baby is late, it hasn't moved in the past ten days... I'm worried. I talked to Serah about it, she told me to stay calm and not to worry as much but it was difficult to follow. Serah kept reminding me about my birthday which was tomorrow; the thought of it made me take my mind off of the baby, but the worry still remained.

"Don't worry sis," Serah said trying to ease my feelings. "Perhaps your doctor got the due date wrong?" Lebreau and Serah sat at the kitchen table preparing food for tomorrow.

"Yeah Light," Lebreau cut in. "You're probably just getting worked up over nothing."

"Perhaps I'd be a little less worried if it actually moved; instead it just lies there..." I said slightly depressed.

Serah came closer to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, "Don't let it get to you sis, it's probably nothing." She patted my arm before she went back to cutting vegetables. "So how's it feel knowing you're going to be twenty five?"

I moaned resting my head on the table. "It feels like I'm a year closer to death..."

Lebreau giggled, "Sound's dark my friend."

"It is..."

"Sis, don't be like that." Snow placed his hand on my shoulder. "Lighten up."

I wasn't much in the mood to scold him and give him the usual response; my head remained on the table as they all talked to each other. Before I knew it Maqui and Yuj came stampeding into the house with a few of Serah's students. From all the noise they were making I was surprised neither, Serah, Snow or Lebreau told them to turn the volume down a few notches. It wasn't long till I reached my breaking point.

"Hey," I shouted causing them to all freeze in stun. "Take it outside!"

One of the children in the group smirked and stuck his tongue out at me, and then they all ran outside back in the snow. I held my head, as it was teeming with anger that I wanted to inflict on that kid.

"Those kids," Serah said, "They never grow up."

"I don't think that kid who stuck his tongue out at me will grow up anytime soon..."

Lebreau sighed, "Kids..."

"Some will just never learn..." Snow said.

I nudged his hip, "You're one of them." I joked.

Snow smiled, "Hey, I'm no kid; I just choose not to act my age sometimes."

We all laughed at his joke, "Well, I'm gonna go and shovel some pathways with Gadot," Snow pecked Serah on her cheek. "Wouldn't want anyone to fall in this stuff." Without another moment to waste he nabbed his jacket from the coat rack by the door and left.

"The things he does for others," Serah started as she disposed of vegetable skins in the trash bin. "Snow is like a role model for some of the young men here."

Lebreau laughed, "What young men?"

"Maqui and Yuj..." Serah trailed off.

"That's pretty much all there is," Lebreau chuckled. "And those two are barely men, they still act like they're ten."

"Well some things just never change I guess." As the words flew from my mouth, I was unaware of the war that was about to unfold. Like a bullet a ball of near ice and snow thrashed against my side, I jolted upward and looked to the open window to see the children from before laughing and pointing, my temper was reaching beyond its level at this point. The adrenaline overwhelmed my morals. No longer able to hold back my anger, I yearned to give them what they so deserved. Luckily for them, Serah was there to stop me.

"You kids are so lucky I'm not smacking the crap out of you right now!" I shouted feeling my face heat up from the rage. The children just continued laughing and began chanting, "Meanie Miss Farron!"

Lebreau rushed in front of me and shooed the children away and slammed the window shut. Serah made me sit down but I was more eager to hit those annoying little brats.

"Sis, calm down!" Serah raised her voice to try and get my attention; she placed a cold cloth on my face and turned to face me. "Claire, they aren't worth it, they're just little kids."

"Yeah, little kids lucky to not come in contact with my hand."

"Those little punks, they got nothing better to do than to start up trouble." Lebreau's face showed she was also aggravated. "I think they over did it when they started calling you, 'meanie miss Farron.'"

"They use to call me that before I married Snow," Serah said. "Whenever I'd scold them for doing something wrong they use to call me 'meanie miss Farron.'"

"What made them stop?" I asked.

"Well after I married Snow and took his name, they called me "meanie Ms Villiers ." Serah sighed. "They aren't very creative with their nicknames."

Gadot walked in sending a blast of cold throughout the living room. "What's with those kids outside?"

"What are you talking about?" Serah asked.

"They keep chanting, 'meanie Miss Farron.'" He said.

I sighed. "Is that it?"

"One of the girls started yelling at the other kids, and then the boys shouted 'meanie Miss Farron.' Then they attacked her with snowballs!"

"Oh Etro they're reenacting it!" I cried covering my head on the table. Gadot looked confused of the situation.

"One of those little twerps threw at snowball at Light, and she got pissed off with them so now they won't stop calling her 'meanie Miss Farron." Lebreau reiterated.

"That's wrong of them." Gadot said.

"I'll have a talk with them later." Serah placed the towel on the table, "They should know better than to do what they did."

"What's the point?" I asked. "They'll most likely do it again."

"Not if I have a stern talking with them." Serah walked to the door and grabbed her coat from the rack. "I think I should talk to them about it now, to get this situation sorted out."

"Good luck, you're gonna' need it." Lebreau said before Serah left the house.

I rested my head against the table. Lebreau placed her hand on my shoulder, "It's alright Light-"

"I'm hungry..." I whined.

"What would you like?"

"Soup please?"

Lebreau patted my shoulder, "No problem." She said before she went to the cabinet, retrieved a can of soup and began cooking. "Hey Gadot, you should go back out and help Snow with that shoveling."

Gadot smirked. "Yeah, Yeah I know gotta' go help Snow shovel the snow." With that he left just like Serah did.

It wasn't long until a ceramic bowl and a spoon was placed in front of me. "Be careful, it's hot." Lebreau continued prepping food as she was before.

"Thank you." I sat up and stared at the steam rising up from the broth. I swallowed a few spoonfuls then looked up at Lebreau. "I have to ask you a question..."

The younger girl looked to me, a smile laid on her face. "Ask away."

It took a minute to get the words unclogged from my throat, "Do you think... I should change my mind about giving the child to Serah?"

Lebreau stopped skinning potatoes. She had a puzzled look on her face as if trying to solve a riddle, "It's not up to me Light, it's what you feel is the best choice."

"Over these long months, I've gone over the decision many times and I still can't come up with a final choice." I lightly pulled at my hair in frustration. "It's killing me Lebreau..." I faced the table once more getting my fingers caught in my pink locks.

"Since I can't really make the choice for you, all I can say is when the time is right you'll know what the best decision will be." She brought my head up from the table and smiled. "Light, everything will be fine, you gotta' learn to go with the flow."

"Perhaps you're right..." I stood up from the table. "I'm going to go lie down for a bit..."

"Alright, want me to wake you up when dinner's ready?" Lebreau turned to the sink rinsing my unfinished soup into the drain.

"No thank you," I began to walk off to the bedroom, feeling the weight of my eyelids increase. The bed was still unmade from this morning, the blanket was practically hanging off the edge of the mattress, it didn't matter to me in the slightest. As I lay upon the cool sheets, a soft sigh of relief escaped my lips, it was pure comfort. It was not long until fatigue consumed me and the room was nothing but dark in my sights.

From the darkness that shrouded my thoughts and dreams, a low pitched humming trailed and remained tangled within the harmonious parts of my mind. I opened my eyes slightly to see the sharp lavender eyes of Caius as I slowly awoke. I didn't react to his presence; instead I asked him, "What are you doing here?"

"I come not to harm you." His voice was calm and forgiving in a sense. "I fear for the child that still remains in your womb."

"Why?" I asked. "You didn't seem to care much when you almost claimed my life a few months ago."

Caius remained silent as if the mention of that night brought his spirit down. As easy as it could have been for him to attack me in my most vulnerable state, Caius stood by the side of the bed with his hand caressing my swollen abdomen. I barely moved, cautious of what sort of sly scheme was shoved up his sleeve; his face remained blank of emotion which made it difficult to know if he was truly planning something. As his face was blank, mine was empty of emotion as well, I remembered what Lebreau had mentioned about 'going with the flow,' perhaps since I was so calm and accepting of Caius' presence, it was the reason he didn't turn on me.

"...The child remains still," He said lowly. "Perhaps it rests in Etro's arms?"

I didn't let the thought of death get to me; instead I played it off cold. "Perhaps it has."

"You care for this child do you not?"

"I do not..." The words escaped past my lips with ease, as if I seriously had no care for the child's well being. "It is nothing more than a nuisance to me anyhow."

Caius turned his head, "Then why have you made it this far to term if you had not a care for it?"

I looked up to the ceiling, "I'm not sure, perhaps at one point I had feelings for such a thing..."

What am I saying? I thought as my heart weighed heavy from my words. Caius walked to the end of the bed and began to fade away. As I watched him, the whole world began to dim to nothing but darkness... The faint cries of a child called out to me "Mommy!" That was when I awoke from my nightmare. I reawakened in a cold sweat, my chest ached and tears slid down the sides of my face... I was scared beyond this point, was the Caius in my dream hinting at something? Had my child heard the bells of death and was now cradled in Etro's arms, or was it my fears getting the better of me?