A/N
Just because I've had such a good morning and because I passed my exam, I decided that today's chapter shall be a bit longer than usual so here's the next installment. Hope you like it.
Rating and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.
Chapter 17.
The next morning Santana woke up still holding the blonde. She couldn't help but smile and nuzzled her nose against Brittany's shoulder. A while later Brittany woke up as well and pulled Santana's arm even tighter around her and brought her hand up to her lips so she could kiss it. Santana smiled and placed a lingering kiss on Brittany's neck.
"I'm so happy you're here..." Brittany said softly.
"I was going crazy... I think I've made a trail on my living room floor with my pacing." Santana chuckled.
"I couldn't stay at home... I wasn't really thinking but I just wanted to be with you..." she continued gently.
Brittany turned in her arms and gazed lovingly into Santana's eyes.
"I'm so glad you came... I still can't believe you're really here..." she said tenderly and stroked Santana's cheek.
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be..." Santana said sincerely.
Brittany closed the gap between them and kissed her softly. When they parted Brittany found Santana's eyes and the brunette could see that the blonde looked troubled.
"I don't know how I'm gonna do this Santana... I'm so scared..." Brittany said with a trembling voice.
"I know sweetie…I know… and I understand that... But I'm here okay? I'm not going anywhere. You're not alone in this. It's gonna be hard and tough but I'm gonna be by your side every step of the way." Santana said and looked deep into Brittany's eyes.
"But where am I gonna go? He kicked me out Santana and though it's my house too I can't go back there, I can't live there with him..."
"Stay with me then." It was out so fast she hadn't even reflected over what she just said.
"I-I mean, just till everything sorts out. I-I'm not asking you to move in with me or anything cause that would be way too soon and I have a spare bedroom too i-if you'd feel more comfor-" she was interrupted by a hand over her mouth.
"God you're cute when you ramble." Brittany said and smiled.
"Sorry..." Santana looked down and blushed slightly.
"Do you mean it?..." Brittany asked a little more serious.
"What? About you staying with me? Of course I mean it..." Santana said sincerely and met Brittany's eyes again.
Brittany just looked at her.
"You're amazing you know that?..." she whispered.
Santana smiled and leaned forward and kissed her gently.
"So will you stay with me?" Santana mumbled against her lips.
"Yes... I'll stay with you..." Brittany mumbled back before she deepened the kiss.
Santana parted her lips slightly and Brittany used that opportunity to slip her tongue inside Santana's mouth. God how she loved kissing her. Santana's tongue moved slowly against her own and she parted her own lips more so she could kiss the brunette even deeper. Santana was an amazing kisser and no one had ever kissed her the way Santana kissed her. She smiled against the brunette's lips and as they parted she had a goofy grin on her face.
"What?" Santana asked and smiled.
"Nothing. Just... God... I love kissing you." the blonde said and smiled widely.
Santana laughed.
"You're crazy. But I love kissing you too." Santana chuckled and kissed her again to prove her point.
Santana pulled back and looked at the blonde. God she was so beautiful and Santana couldn't quite believe that this was actually happening.
"I'm so happy right now..." she said softly.
Brittany smiled and kissed her gently again.
"Me too." Brittany said as she met Santana's eyes again.
They just looked at each other for a moment.
"What do you say about getting out of here?" Santana asked.
"Sounds good to me." Brittany said and smiled.
They got up from the bed and Santana grabbed Brittany's bag and put it over her shoulder as Brittany was putting on her shoes. The brunette leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Brittany's cheek which made the blonde smile. Stepping outside, Santana put Brittany's bag in her own car before turning to the blonde.
"Wanna get something to eat before we go?"
She took Brittany's hands in her own.
"Yeah, I think I do." Brittany said and smiled.
"Okay."
Santana kissed her quickly before leading the blonde towards the diner.
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When they were done they started the long drive back to Santana's place. Brittany had considered going back to her house to collect some more clothes but she still had her bag so she decided to skip it, plus she really didn't want to meet Nathan. It was too soon.
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A couple of hours later they were snuggled up close together on Santana's couch in a comfortable silence. Brittany felt completely relaxed in the other woman's arms and Santana still couldn't quite believe that all this was happening. She stroked Brittany's upper arm tenderly while the blonde was playing with the fingers of her free hand.
"I could stay like this forever..." Brittany said softly.
Santana smiled and kissed the top of her head then mumbled into her hair.
"Me too."
There was another moment of silence and Brittany was deep in thoughts. She had a lot of things on her mind. Things she had to vent.
"I'm scared about how dad will react when he finds out about this..." she admitted.
"I know..." Santana replied not really knowing what else to say.
"He adores Nathan you know... He's always been treating him like a son. Like, taking him out on fishing trips and stuff. Nate didn't even like fishing when we first started dating." Brittany said.
"This will kill him Santana..." Brittany said with a lump in her throat.
"Hey..." Santana said and tilted the blonde's chin up so she could look at her.
"You haven't done anything wrong... You shouldn't feel guilty for any of this, it's not like we planned this..." Santana said softly and looked deep into her eyes.
"I know but still... and don't think I regret choosing you cause if there's one thing I'm absolutely certain of it's my feelings for you Santana..." Brittany said sincerely.
Santana nodded slowly and continued to listen to the blonde.
"You have to understand that my life will be a complete chaos for a long time, dad will most likely freak and all my friends..." Brittany trailed off.
God what about all my friends?... Suddenly she realized the effect her choice would have on all the people in her life and a slight panic started to rise within her.
Santana noticed the changed expression on Brittany's face and though she really believed the blonde when she said she didn't regret choosing her, she couldn't help but feel a slight ache in her heart. An ache that only increased when the blonde pulled away from her and got up from the couch and left the living room without a word...
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Brittany closed the bathroom door behind her and walked over to the sink where she splashed her face with cold water. Turning the tap off she leaned on her arms against the sink and looked up to meet her own reflection. Water was trickling down her face and she lifted her hand to wipe some of it off. She took a deep breath as thousands of thoughts were running through her head. Knowing her life would be a complete mess once this thing came out made her more scared than she'd ever been. How would her friends react when they found out about this? That she was leaving her fiance, the man she'd spent five years of her life with for a woman she'd just met? Listening to her own thoughts she heard how completely crazy it all sounded and she knew without a doubt her friends would think she'd lost her mind. Staring at her own reflection she noticed that tears had started to escape her eyes.
"What am I gonna do?..." she whispered to her reflection.
She thought about yesterday, about having to confront Nate and about how that made her feel. She felt absolutely crushed that she'd hurt him so much but as her thoughts wandered towards Santana she instantly was filled with a sense of warmth and without realizing it her lips turned upwards into a small smile. No matter how terrified she felt about everything, what she felt for Santana was so strong and though a very small part of her wanted to walk away from the situation just cause that would be the easiest way, there was no way she could do that. She reached for a towel and dried her face. Looking up at her reflection again she decided that she wouldn't let this fear of what everybody else would say and think, ruin a chance of something absolutely wonderful.
Sure, she could go back to the living room, break Santana's heart and her own too for that matter, and go home to Nathan and beg for forgiveness. Tell him how she temporarily lost her mind and that she realized what a big mistake she was making, throwing away five years for something that was doomed not to last. Cause that's what everybody would think right? That her and Santana could never last, they hardly knew each other and so on and so on. Ending this with Santana and return to Nathan to try and work things out would be what everybody would expect her to do and technically she could do it. She could go back to the man she used to love and marry him, have a family and everybody would be happy. No... not everybody, she wouldn't be happy, she would be settling.
She shook her head at her own thoughts, if something sounded crazy, this did. She was 26 years old and had spent the past five years in a relationship with a wonderful man who really was everything anyone would want in a man. But then, like a flash of lightening she found a person who made her the happiest she's ever been in all her life. Someone who made her heart pound so violently in her chest just by looking at her. Someone who made the concept of butterflies in your stomach get a whole new meaning.
Life's too short to just settle for something that everybody else think is right. This was her now and she was going to live in the moment. She was going to do what made her happy, not what her surroundings assumed would make her happy and what made her happy, was Santana.
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Santana had remained seated, torn between going after the blonde or to give her some space. She decided on the later though she had an ache in her heart still. It just wouldn't go away... She believed Brittany when she'd told her that she wanted to be with her but there was still a part of her that feared that the other woman would realize what she was giving up just to be with her and that Brittany would decide that in the end it wasn't worth it. That thought killed Santana but she tried to not let it get to her, there was no use picturing the worst case scenario was there? What good would that do?
"I'm sorry..."
Santana turned around when she heard the soft whisper. Brittany stood by the doorway looking at her and she could see that she'd been crying.
Santana got up from the couch and slowly walked over to the blonde. When she was within reach Brittany reached for her and wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck and pulled her close. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and held her tight.
"I'm sorry Santana..." she said again.
"I... I freaked and I'm sorry for walking away like that..." she continued.
"Are... are you having second thoughts about this? About us?..." Santana asked tentatively.
Brittany pulled back slowly and met Santana's eyes. She could see uncertainty in those beautiful brown eyes and she knew she was the reason for that uncertainty.
"For a split second yes, I think I was..." she started and she could see the look of utter fear in Santana's eyes.
"But then I started to think... really think about everything and about what everybody expects of me and I realized that though I'm scared, and I'm really scared Santana, I won't let that fear decide how I'm going to live my life and whom I'm going to spend it with. I won't. Life's too short for that... Santana?..." she cupped the other woman's face and gazed into her eyes.
"I want this... I want you, I want us... All that matters is how I feel about you and my feelings are so strong Santana..." she slowly closed the gap between them and kissed her tenderly.
Santana entangled her fingers in Brittany's hair and kissed her back. When they parted Brittany rested her forehead against Santana's and Santana gently dragged her fingers though blonde hair.
"I believe you... I believed you before too but I just... I guess I just got a bit scared. I love you Brittany, and I wanna be with you more than anything else in this world."
Santana pulled back and met beautiful blue eyes.
"You have my heart you know?... You have it a-and I don't want it back..." she said softly.
"Just... just don't break it..." she whispered.
Brittany felt her heart fill with love for this woman in front of her. She was so head over heels in love and to hear Santana say things like that just made her fall even deeper.
"I won't..." she promised and then kissed her gently again before she pulled the other woman in for another hug.
"I love you too Santana..." she whispered into her ear.
They stood like that for a while, just holding each other.
When they went to bed that night Brittany crawled up behind Santana and wrapped her arm around her and placed soft kisses on her exposed shoulders. She really couldn't get enough of her skin, it was so soft and the blonde loved the way she smelled and the way her skin tasted… Brittany moved Santana's hair to the side so the brunette's neck became exposed and she instantly placed her lips there and kissed her skin very gently. Santana grasped Brittany's arm tightly when she felt the blonde's tongue licking a path up to her ear.
"You have no idea what you do to me…" was whispered into her ear and Santana gasped quietly.
Brittany wiggled her arm free from Santana's grip and sneaked her hand underneath Santana's tank top and started to caress her stomach very gently.
"God Brittany…"
Brittany's lips continued to kiss and suck on Santana's neck and the brunette couldn't contain herself any longer. She turned around and captured Brittany's lips in a kiss that was anything but soft.
Santana entangled her fingers in Brittany's soft blonde hair as she pushed her tongue inside Brittany's warm mouth. The blonde moaned into Santana's mouth when their tongues met and started to move slowly together. Santana's hand left Brittany's hair and made its way down the blonde's body till it found soft warm skin. Brittany moved so she came to lie on top of the brunette who let her free hand join the other and started to pull the blonde's t-shirt up and over her head.
Brittany pulled them both up into a sitting position and quickly removed Santana's tank top before crashing their lips together again. The blonde gasped in anticipation when she felt Santana cup her breasts and Brittany moaned loudly into the other woman's mouth.
"God Santana..." she gasped as Santana's mouth left her own and started to lick and kiss along her jawline down to her neck.
Brittany's hand started to wander and Santana gasped when Brittany's fingers brushed over her nipples before she was being pushed down onto the bed and the blonde covered Santana's body with her own. Brittany felt a flood of wetness between her legs as her breast collided with Santana's, it was incredibly sexy and she was marveled by how incredibly turned on she'd become by it.
Their kissing intensified and lips and tongues were moving together while their hands continued to roam. Santana flipped them over before the blonde had even registered what had happened and then wasted no time in connecting their lips again.
One of Santana's legs found its way in between Brittany's and she pushed her thigh up against the blonde's core. Brittany broke the kiss and panted violently when Santana continued to push against her and at the same time her hand was teasing her breast.
Brittany's hands moved down and she grabbed Santana's underwear and desperately tried to push it down the brunette's toned legs which turned out to be extremely difficult when Santana kept thrusting against her. Santana slowed down and slided off the blonde in order to remove their last pieces of clothing. Brittany assisted eagerly and as soon as both of their underwear was off, Brittany pulled the other woman on top of her again and kissed her deeply.
Her hands were moving all over Santana's body and Santana nudged Brittany's legs apart and slipped her own thigh in between, just like she had earlier but now there wasn't anything in the way. Brittany moaned when Santana's bare thigh pressed against her center and she started to grind her hips to meet Santana's movement, desperate for more pressure.
Santana's tongue swirled around with Brittany's in a very heated kiss while their grinding against each other increased. Santana's thigh was wet from rubbing against Brittany's center and she felt a pounding between her own legs. Never breaking the kiss she changed their positions slightly so she was straddling Brittany's left thigh and gasped when she finally gained some pressure against her acing center. Needing more she broke the kiss and altered their positions again. She pulled Brittany's right leg over her own left and moved even closer until her center collided with Brittany's sending a jolt of pleasure through both women. Brittany threw her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes as her hips started to move frantically, grinding her center hard against Santana's who me her every thrust.
Both women were panting violently as their wet centers continued to grind against each other and when Santana picked up the pace Brittany couldn't hold back anymore and cried out in pleasure as a very intense orgasm washed over her. Seconds later Santana fell over the edge as well and collapsed on top of the blonde who was still panting hard.
Brittany entangled her fingers in Santana's hair and kissed the top of her head. Santana had her head on Brittany's chest and could hear her rapid heartbeat that slowly was settling down. After a moment Santana lifted her head and met Brittany's eyes. She gazed into those beautiful blue orbs lovingly.
"I love you..." she said softly and kissed her tenderly before the blonde rolled them over so Brittany was on top again.
Brittany smiled against Santana's lips and Santana wrapped her arms around her.
"I love you too..." the blonde whispered as they parted and she found Santana's eyes again.
"God I love you..." she sighed.
Santana smiled and kissed her again.
"I've never felt this way before..." Brittany said softly and gazed into Santana's eyes before she slided off Santana's body slightly then reached for her hand.
"Neither have I..." Santana said tenderly.
"I just wanna go away with you... Somewhere far away where I don't have to think of the mess that's about to happen, the mess that's already happened and it's about to become worse..." Brittany said and looked down on their joined hands.
"Running away isn't going to make anything easier, though I would really like that too. But we have to face the world at some point and it might as well be best to just get it over with. Like you said, it's already a mess and it's about to become messier." Santana said.
Brittany nodded. Santana was right, she knew that but still, she just wanted to get away from everything and never look back.
"No matter what, I'm here… I'm not going anywhere okay?"
Brittany found her eyes again. She just looked at the other woman for a moment and saw nothing but sincerity and love reflecting back.
"Okay…" She placed a soft lingering kiss on Santana's lips before she put her head down on the brunette's chest and closed her eyes.
Santana wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her close. Lying there in Santana's arms and hearing the sound of her heartbeat, there was nowhere else she would ever want to be. The arm that was draped over Santana's stomach tightened its hold and she nuzzled her nose against Santana's neck and placed a lingering kiss there before let sleep claim her.
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The next couple of days they spent in Chicago, Brittany had debated whether or not to go back to Green Bay to get some more stuff but she really couldn't deal with seeing Nathan so she decided to deal with that later. She had a bag of clothes and she'd bought some new items too.
Other than the storm cloud constantly hanging over her head things were good. Being with Santana made her so happy and when they were together it was like nothing else in the world mattered.
Of course Brittany knew she was postponing the inevitable but she had no idea how to even begin having that conversation with her father... She wanted to postpone it as much as she possibly could but she knew she should deal with it sooner rather than later. Also, Santana was going back to work next week and Brittany had another week left before she had to return to work which she dreaded cause work was in Green Bay. She couldn't stay with Santana any longer once she had to go back to work and she had no idea how she was going to fix the living situation back home. Staying at her and Nathan's house was out of the question that much she knew.
"What are you thinking about?" Santana asked softly as she wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and hugged her from behind.
Brittany was standing by the living room window looking out over the city while she was deep in thoughts. She instantly relaxed in Santana's arms and put her hands on the other woman's forearms and stroked her skin.
"I was just thinking about how I have to return home soon... and I really don't want that..." she answered.
"I know... I wish you could stay here but I know you can't..." Santana said.
"Yeah. I'm just thinking about a lot of practical things you know, like where I'm gonna live and I have to talk to Nathan about the house but I sooo don't want to." Brittany admitted.
"I wish there was something I could do." Santana said and kissed her cheek.
"You're already doing so much Santana." Brittany said and turned around in Santana's arms.
She met her eyes and just looked into those beautiful brown eyes for a moment. She leaned forward and captured the brunette's lips with her own and kissed her softly. She slowly pulled back and met Santana's eyes again.
"They're still at the cabin right?" Brittany asked referring to her father and Anita.
"Yes, mom said they would stay for at least another week. Are you thinking about going up there to talk to Jack? Cause if you do I want to be there." Santana said.
"I am thinking about that and I really want you there, I do, but I have to do this alone. I know how he's going to react and I don't want to put you through that." Brittany said.
"I don't like the thought of you having to do this alone Brittany..." Santana said sincerely.
"At least let me follow you to Minocqua, I can't stay here while you're about to do one of the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. I can't..." Santana pleaded.
"Okay." Brittany said and kissed her again.
"I'm gonna call dad."
Santana nodded and gave the blonde another kiss before she let her go.
Brittany went to get her phone from the kitchen and then returned to the living room with the device close to her ear. Her heart was beating so fast and she was so nervous she thought she would start to cry the second she heard her father's voice on the other side of the line.
"Dad? Hi it's me." she said, trying to keep a steady voice.
"Brittany, hello sweetheart. Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, yes. Everything is fine. Dad?... I... I need to talk to you about something so I was thinking about coming up to the cabin tomorrow." she said trying so hard to keep it together.
"Okay? Is something the matter? Has something happened? Are you alright?" her dad asked with a slightly worried tone.
"I'm fine dad, I just... I just have to tell you something and I don't want to do it over the phone. Don't worry, okay?" she said.
"Okay. Is Nathan coming with you?" Jack asked and Brittany felt a pang of guilt and was very close to losing it.
"Uhm, no... It's just me. Listen, I'll tell you everything tomorrow. I have to go now." she said, desperately wanting to end the call.
"Okay. Well, see you tomorrow then sweetheart." Jack said.
"Dad?..."
"Yes?"
"I love you..."
"I love you to Brittany." Jack said back slightly confused.
She usually never said that to him over the phone, well very rarely all together so something was definitely up with his girl that much he was sure of.
"Bye, see you tomorrow." Brittany said and ended the call.
Santana had listened to the entire conversation and made her way over to the couch where Brittany was seated, once she finished the call.
"You okay?" she asked tentatively.
"No... but there's no going back now...Tomorrow I'm telling my father that I'm leaving my fiance ... because I've fallen in love with you..." she said and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
She looked at Santana and felt tears starting to fill up her eyes. She wrapped her arms around Santana and buried her face in the crock of the brunette's neck. Santana kissed her hair and held her tight.
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Jack walked into the kitchen where Anita was preparing dinner.
"Brittany's coming up here tomorrow, she wanted to talk to me about something." Jack said.
Anita instantly felt guilty for lying to her fiance but there was nothing else she could do.
"That's nice. It will be good to see her again." Anita said.
"Yes, but something is up though. She didn't sound like her old self but she told me not to worry so I'm sure it's nothing bad." Jack said and Anita only prayed that Jack would handle the news well but she had a feeling he wouldn't.
Jack stood beside her deep in thoughts for a moment before he suddenly proclaimed.
"What if she's pregnant Anita? What if that's what she's coming to tell me? Could it really be such great news?" Jack said kind of ecstatic and Anita felt an ever bigger pang of guilt hit her.
Jack chuckled and pulled his fiancee in for a hug.
"What if I'm going to be a grandfather Anita?" he said joyfully.
Anita hugged him back hoping against all hope that the news Jack was about to receive wouldn't destroy the relationship she had with him but she was really afraid it could come to that once he found out that she's known what's been going on the whole time.