Last Train

by frogsteak

AU. In an attempt to start over, Axel kidnaps his best friend and flees the ghettos of Kobe. His brothers are sent after them under the Superior's orders, but for reasons Axel could never have imagined.

10. The Dark Side of The Moon

Title: Last Train
Author: nikki_ntm
Beta reader: Shattered Apocalypse
Chapters: 10/20
Genre: Drama/Adventure/Suspense
Rating: M for language, violence and disturbing themes such as bullying, crime and disease.
Characters: Axel, Saïx, Larxene and Marluxia amongst others (Lea, Isa, Seifer and Org. 13).
Pairings: Implied past/present/future pairings, mainly past Axel/Larxene, current Leon/Arlene, and implied one-sided Isa/Lea.
Setting: Modern Japan (yakuza-themed)

A/N: I'm slightly late with this update, that's because this week has been hectic as all hell. Oh well, here it is, chapter 10. This chapter is a bit on the angsty side, just so you all know. Enjoy!

Chapter 10: The Dark Side of the Moon

~ooo~

July, 2001

~ooo~

The hospital walls in the waiting hall were yellow, thanks to the cigarette smoke they had absorbed during the years prior to the smoke-free hospitals reform. There were a couple of persons sitting there with indifferent looks on their faces while waiting for their doctor.

Isa hurried up to the counter, his fist clenched tightly around the notice he had read once he had gotten home. The nurse sitting there had to only take one look at him to know who he was here for. She got up and bowed her head briefly, the pity in her eyes only managed to infuriate Isa even more.

"Isa, I was expecting you."

Dr. Akihara was followed by the nurse that had gone to get him. She went back to her place by the computer, while Dr. Akihara walked up to Isa. He took one quick look at Isa's bruises to decide that maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to speak to him in private.

"What the hell is this?" Isa pushed the notice against the doctor's chest. Dr. Akihara unfolded it and read it quickly with a sigh. Of course he knew what it was; he had been the one to send it. It was a medical bill.

"I don't have that kind of money. You know that full well, doctor. I pay you whenever I can, don't I? Mom needs to be attended here, I can't be at home and take care of her and work at the same time!"

"You're late with three payments, Isa. I can only do so much before the board-members see that there is money missing. We can't keep using expensive medicine and equipment on your mother without getting paid. I'm risking my job here."

Isa took a deep breath and tried to push away the growing frustration that was building up in his chest, making it harder to breathe. "It says that the payment is due at the end of this week. I need more time than that."

The doctor put his glasses on and inspected the medical bill again. "Well, Isa. If you pay half by the end of the week, I'm sure I can convince my bosses to let your mother stay here. You have 'til Sunday morning. You can pay the rest by the end of the month, but that's your last chance, Isa. I can't do much more for you. You need to be more responsible. Your mother is counting on you. You can't be roaming around and getting into fights." He gave the bill back to Isa and took his glasses off, smiling that polite smile of his to indicate that their conversation was soon to be over.

"You have to work hard, Isa. Hard work will get you far. Have a good day." The doctor bowed to both Isa and the nurse and left to attend to whatever it was he did when he didn't have patients.

Isa stepped outside with his cell phone in his hand and he stared at it for a few seconds in doubt. Hard work, huh? Before he knew it, he had the phone to his ear, waiting for a certain someone to pick up on the other side of the line.

"What the hell do you want?" was the first thing that came out from the phone. Isa held his cell phone in a tight grip, reminding himself that it had to be done.

"Seifer, I need a job."

"Well, well, well. You know I ain't giving you shit until you join the family. That means meeting the boss and swearing your loyalty to him and to the family – you up for that?"

Isa hadn't seen Seifer since that night at the fishery - he was trembling, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. Beggars can't be choosers and there was no one else he could turn to now. Lea had been gone for weeks; probably on probation on his boss' orders or just around with that new girlfriend of his.

"How soon can it be arranged?"

"I'll see what I can do, it should be by tonight or by tomorrow, I reckon. Keep your cell on."

Seifer hung up. Isa sank down onto the first step of the stairs and held his arms over his head. He was going to make it through, joining the family wouldn't mean anything to him. He just needed to fix the medical bill to make sure his mother was taken care of properly. He would still have time to study and to attend the university exam. Isa repeated that in his head over and over to convince himself that it was the truth.

He headed back into the hospital and walked straight to the elevators down the hall to his left. Isa knew the sixth floor like the back of his hand, and he usually made an effort to be nice to the staff here and greet them when he saw them, but he was so far into his own thoughts that he wasn't sure there had been anyone to greet.

His mother shared the room with four other patients that could be rather loud when they all wanted something. It was surprising to enter the room and hear none of the chatter or complaints. A nurse had just pulled aside a window to let in some fresh air. The breeze that blew in made the white curtains dance along with it. The sun outside was shining into the room gently, and made it seem like this room was untouched by the bad things going on outside.

"Hello, Isa." The nurse smiled when she saw him, "Your mother just got to sleep."

Isa sat down on a chair by his mother, resting his body against the bed, with his head by her torso. He heard the nurse walk out of the room and he sighed. It was strange how at ease he felt here by his mother's side at the hospital. Home wasn't home anymore. He always preferred to be somewhere else.

"What's the matter, Isa?" His mother ran her fingers through his hair gently.

"Nothing."

"Hmm," she said in sing-song, "Something must be wrong if you're here while the sun is still up. Did you have a fight with Lea?"

"No."

"Is he waiting outside?"

"No."

"That really is strange. You both seem to be joined at the hip all the time."

"Time changes things."

Isa's mother laughed and ruffled his hair, "Aren't you in a brooding mood. Or is that just your philosophical side talking?"

Isa got up and tried to fix his hair back to the way it had been while snickering. His mother smiled and looked at Isa with a calming look on her face. Her slight frown at the fading bruise on his forehead nearly went by unnoticed. She didn't argue with him anymore, not about serious things anyway. It was always the same; she would start by saying that Lea was pulling him into the underworld, that he had never gotten into fights before, Isa would try to defend Lea, and Isa's mother would always end up with that damned look of pity in her eyes, because at the end of the day, Lea was the only friend he had.

"How is everything? Have you been eating properly?"

"Yes, mom." Isa rolled his eyes and sank into his chair.

"You say yes, but look at you. You seem to be worse off than me, and I'm eating hospital food!" She pouted and looked away with feigned hurt, "I worry about you, just like any good mother would. Have you been doing your best at work? Remember that the times are tough, not everyone has a job to go to nowadays."

"Mom!" Isa laughed and shoved her lightly, "Yes, I'm doing everything properly. Don't nag."

She sighed, "But seriously, look at you. You're practically all grown up. We'll have to do something really special for your 19th birthday."

"That's still a long way to go, mom."

"Three months, isn't it? Three months is nothing, you'll see how time will just fly by. Before you know it you'll be 21."

Isa's cell phone rang and Isa took a quick look at the ID caller and gulped. He smiled at his mother quickly and got up from the chair, "Mom, I gotta take this. I'll be right back."

Reality had caught up with him, even in this room that had seemed to serene.

~ooo~

The dark kimono felt foreign against his skin and so did the beautiful wooden floor beneath his feet as he walked down a long corridor after Seifer.

The house was exquisite. The garden at the front alone was surely worth millions of yen. Whoever owned it had mixed it up with influences from both the West and the East. The foyer had been spacious and it had a big crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceiling that Isa had been staring up at while he waited for Seifer to lead him to the boss, but the rooms upstairs were built like traditional Japanese houses.

"Don't offend him."

Seifer pulled aside one of the paper-doors and bowed his head. Isa stepped inside the room and gave it a quick look before bowing briefly. There was a young man by the low table, sitting with his legs folded underneath him. He was dressed in a dark kimono, his fringe hanged over his left eye and he gestured towards the table when he saw Isa stand there.

"Please, sit."

Isa sat down as a large man walked into the room. He put a small tray on the table with two small cups and an old pitcher of what Isa assumed to be sake.

"I hear you're in need of help, Isa. What is it that the family can do you for you?"

This man was nothing like Isa had imagined him to be. He had been expecting a middle-aged man surrounded by body guards in a room filled with cigarette smoke, but this man, Zexion, didn't seem like the typical gangster. He was looking at Isa intently, like he knew everything there was to know about Isa, and all he wanted was for Isa to clarify his intentions so that they could move on with this charade and get to the part where Isa decided to pledge his loyalty to Zexion.

"I need a loan."

"What for?"

The large man that had brought the sake sat down by the head of the low table. He poured the sake into the two cups, he filled Zexion's cup to the brim, Isa's cup was only half full, not that he was going to protest, he had never liked the taste of sake.

"I have bills to pay."

"Ah, yes, the hospital bill for your mother. Is she very ill?"

"Pulmonary cancer."

That smug look on Zexion's face led Isa's thoughts to a place he didn't want them to go; how did he know about Isa's mother? How did he know that she was ill? Had Lea told him? Seifer had known all about his plans and in Isa's mind there was only one conceivable reason for that to be possible. Zexion's insight on his situation helped him rationalize the doubts that he had blamed on the frustration created from not being able to get a hold of Lea when he needed him the most.

"Does she have a chance to survive it?"

"Yes."

Isa paled and his mouth went dry. Of course she would survive it, that's what the doctor told him at least, all she needed was the proper medical care that could only be provided for her there at the hospital, there was no room for doubt.

"Very well, then. I'll help your mother, Isa. You'll get your loan in exchange for a little something – your loyalty to me, to this family. You will follow my every order. Do we have a deal?"

At another time Isa might have at least questioned Zexion's interest in him; why was it so important for him to get Isa to join? What kind of jobs would Zexion have him do? What was the point of all of this? But he was no longer in a position where he could question the one person able to help him and his mother.

He nodded, reaching for his cup to take a sip of the sake. The taste of the fish scales was faint, but enough to make his stomach turn. The large man turned on the tray once Isa had put his cup back down, he had to drink out of Zexion's cup as well to finish this traditional initiation rite of the yakuza.

"Welcome to the Ingô family, brother."

~ooo~

The lounge was filled with well-dressed guests, mingling amongst themselves. It was hard to believe that the vast majority here belonged to the yakuza. Isa had thought that he would be spending most of his time in the red light districts, in dimly lit nightclubs with drunken costumers and hostesses, but almost every gathering had been like this one.

Zexion said that the yakuza was in decline, that there were people amongst them that were bringing the families down by disrupting old traditions and becoming nothing but mere criminals. The yakuza was different, he said, the yakuza had survived for centuries, protecting old traditions and worked as peacemakers between leaders in order to help society. Isa didn't agree with that at all, he found it difficult to believe that bribing politicians, maintaining human trafficking and assassinating people was in the best interest of the Japanese society.

He didn't voice those concerns, however. Zexion had taken care of the medical bill the very next day after Isa's initiation rite. His mother was receiving the care she needed, and Isa wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize anything of it, even if it cost him his future.

Three weeks had gone since that day. Isa had thought that he would be put on the streets to extortion people or guard the streets, but Zexion had him in the accounting and counseling division most of the time, which was just as well, it gave Isa time to study. He had been hoping he would get time to go to the evening classes at the library, but he hadn't been there in three weeks and he was worried that his teacher would give up on him and remove him from the application list for the scholarship.

"Don't look now, bro, but your boyfriend just walked in." Seifer chuckled as he passed him by and walked up to Lea who had stopped at the doorway to get a quick glimpse of the guests.

Lea was dressed in a black suit, much like every other man in here, he had tried to tame his hair and brush it out. He had managed to get it into a ponytail at least.

After exchanging some words with Seifer he looked back and reached his hand out to his date, the foreigner from the beach, her name escaped Isa's mind as usual. She had dressed up as well, and it was difficult to believe that she worked at one of Seifer's hostess clubs by the harbor by the way she looked now.

They made quite the good-looking couple, Isa thought as he watched them walk up to the refreshment table.

"Saïx, could you go and get us two glasses of champagne." Zexion turned his attention to Isa for the first time in at least thirty minutes, and gestured toward whoever it was he had engaged conversation with. Isa nodded, he wouldn't give Zexion the satisfaction of showing him how nervous he was of seeing Lea again. He might as well get this over with and take this opportunity to ask Lea where the hell he had been this past month.

"He sure doesn't skimp on the drinks." Isa heard the blonde girl comment as she took a sip of the champagne in her crystal glass.

"'Course not, haven't you seen what people he has invited?"

Lea leaned in to give his date a quick peck on the lips. He really didn't care much for the social rules when it came to showing affection in public, not even during events like these.

"Hi, Lea."

The surprised look on Lea's face when he turned around to make sure that he indeed had heard Isa's voice was nearly enough for Isa to regret opening his mouth when he could've gotten away with getting the champagne and getting back to Zexion without being noticed.

"Isa." He stared at him for a brief second. Isa was in a tailored suit and he could see a faint outline of an unfinished tattoo peaking out at the hem of the white shirt, "What, what are you doing here?"

"Socializing. How come you're here?" He didn't mean to sound cold or sarcastic, but the feelings that had been building up during this past month seemed to be bubbling to the surface at seeing Lea show up so casually with his date.

The look of surprise in Lea's eyes was replaced by one of anger, and he clenched his fists tightly, "Are you kidding?"

He walked up to Isa, grabbing him by his arm and dragged him out of the lounge, and out to the backyard. Lea closed the glass door behind him and looked around to make sure that no one else was out here.

"Isa, what have you done?"

"I'm trying to survive. This was the only thing I could do."

"You've joined?" Lea paled when Isa just looked back at him, "In exchange for what? Money? You couldn't wait for me to get back? I told you that I could help you with that. Isa…"

"I needed ten million yen in four days, Lea. Even if you were around you couldn't have helped me, but it would be nice to know where you've been this past month." Who did you abandon me for? It wasn't for the family, because I've been here with them.

Lea looked away, just like he always did when he was about to tell lie or when he was lying already. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed loudly as he started to pace.

"I got in trouble and I decided to lay low for a while. I thought it would be dangerous for you to be around me, and it was best if you didn't know where I was until things had settled. Not sure if I made the right call though, you make lousy decisions when I'm not around."

"Lousy decisions," Isa repeated in a mumble. Lea probably intended for it to sound cute, but it just reminded Isa of what Lea saw him as, "So you kept me out to protect me?"

"Yeah."

"Because there's no way that I would be able to fend for myself, right?"

"What? No, Isa, that's not what I meant. You don't seem to understand what you've gotten yourself into here. This is the yakuza we're talking about. If they have a bone to pick with someone they will stop at nothing to get the job done."

Lea walked up to Isa and made sure he had his attention before he continued, "I'm sorry that I had you worried, Isa. From now on I'll keep you informed of everything, and I won't disappear on you again. Forgive me, please?" He tilted his head to his side and pouted.

He wasn't ready to forgive Lea yet, he knew that he would eventually, and in the meantime he would enjoy his company. It wasn't until Lea pulled him in for a hug that he realized how much he had missed him, and for a split second he wished he could break and tell Lea all about this past month, about his mother, and about the anguish of having absolutely no one to turn to, but they heard someone open the door and step out to the garden.

Lea broke the hug to see who it was and smiled widely at the blonde beauty.

"Axel, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine." He walked up to her and put his arm around her, "I don't think you've been properly introduced. Isa this is Larxene, Larxene this is Isa."

"You were at that beach party, right?"

Isa nodded and smiled softly, "Yeah, I was. I…" He saw Lexaeus through the glass door, he stared disapprovingly at Isa, his brow was deeply burrowed and he had clenched his jaws tightly. Zexion had probably hoped for the drama to unfold in the lounge and not in the backyard.

"I have to go. Enjoy the rest of the evening." Isa bowed his head slightly before walking back into the house to meet up with Lexaeus. He would probably have to stand by Zexion's side and look interested in whatever conversation he was having for the rest of the evening, but it seemed like a cheap price to pay for the millions of yen he received.

"Did you tell him everything?" Larxene brushed a stray hair away from Lea's forehead as he shook his head, "Why?"

"What's the point? It's all in the past now, right? Besides, we have a bigger problem now."

"Him joining the family isn't that big a problem, is it? It was going to happen sooner or later, Zexion always gets what he wants. It was just a matter of time, and this is better than having him chase farfetched dreams of getting some prestigious scholarship that leads nowhere, right?"

"I don't know, it's just, I thought that he would make it. Who knows what they'll have him do here. Zexion just wants him here to spite him and to get some weird ego boost."

"You worry too much, he'll be fine here. He's only been here for a month, but he's already up in ranks. Maybe he'll even get to save you once or twice now that he's got some power. C'mon, let's go back in and have high class fun."

"It sure is a change from the time we spend downtown and at the harbor."

Larxene grabbed a hold of his hand and dragged him back inside where a live-band was now settling in the lounge to start the second part of this social event. Having Lea close to her in a house that reminded her so much of her father helped her keep her thoughts in check, and it was easier to enjoy this life of luxury that Zexion offered his guests.

Lea kept a look out for Isa back in the lounge, Isa stood by Zexion's side and got to speak to some of the politicians from the LDP, the same politicians that always came to Zexion to get favors done. Isa joining the family hadn't been in his plans, but at least he would be able to keep him in check, and maybe this would turn out for the best after all. At least Isa wouldn't have to be alone anymore.

~ooo~

The clock's insistent ticking was making Isa nervous and he kept glaring at it to make sure that he still was in time. He had three hours more to go, and he looked at the diminishing pile of paper he was working his way through. It wasn't that bad, he would make it to the library, if he only would stop looking at the clock so much.

This was going to be an eventful week. Today, Saturday, he had the test that would decide the rest of his life; he was either going to university and make something out of himself, or he was going to be stuck here forever. He had at least three meetings to attend to together with Seifer, and at the end of the week, he was invited to a dinner held by the new rising political leader of the LDP. It was the first dinner party he was going to attend together with Zexion in a whole month, and he was actually looking forward to it.

Isa reached for the phone with a sigh and called up his teacher. He had only had the chance to talk to him twice since joining the family. The first time had been at the foyer of Crowne Hotel, he had seemed stressed, but he had given Isa his number and told him to call him if there was anything he wanted to talk about. The second time he had seemed out of it, like his mind was somewhere else completely, but he had given Isa the information he needed to keep studying at least.

Now he needed a favor.

"Hello? This is Isa Tsukiji and I'd like to talk to professor Ansem, please."

"Professor Ansem? He's not in right now. Can I take your message?"

"When does he come back?"

"He's out for the day, actually. Did you have an appointment?"

"Well, no. I'm a student of his and I wanted to tell him that I might be late for the exam today, and I was wondering if that was going to be a problem."

"You mean the qualification exam for the scientific scholarship to Tokyo University?"

"Yes."

"In that case you have to be on time, no exceptions. The doors will be closed at 18:00 sharp. If you want to apply for the scholarship you'll have to be on time, sir, that's the rules for everyone."

"Okay, thanks."

Isa hung up and got back to work immediately. Zexion wouldn't let him off the hook until all of this was done, these were the fees the street divisions were going to pick up from the stores around here that paid for protection, and Isa needed to map out the stores that didn't pay their fee so that the thugs knew who to extort.

He didn't really anguish much about it anymore. The people involved in this were mere numbers to him now, it was easier to deal with it if he just thought of it as a job that needed to be done, a job that only had him doing math all day long.

"We have a crook on our hands."

Isa looked up quickly to greet one of the higher-ups, Xaldin, as he strolled into the big office room. He wasn't supposed to be here with his subordinates, but rumors had it that the big boss himself had sent Xaldin down here to deal with a new gang that were trying to take away their turfs.

"A new one?"

"Same old, it's just that we finally have him pinpointed. He decided to show his ugly face."

Xaldin sat down on a chair across from Isa. He was a big and muscular man, he was almost the same size as Lexaeus and the chair squeaked as he leaned back on it with the usual disgruntled look on his face. He used to be a boxer before becoming a yakuza full-time, but all those hits to the head had almost made him blind and he had no choice but to retire and hope that he would recuperate. There wasn't much speaking for his return to the ring though, he had been out from the sport for five years at least, and he was well needed with the family.

"And?"

"A chink." Xaldin said with a shake of his head, "A chink is trying to take over Kobe with a petty group of lowlifes."

Isa didn't react to Xaldin's choice of words, to the family the Chinese were only useful when they did the dirty work for them and then left Japanese soil. Racism seemed to be a frequent thing amongst his brothers, it was strange to Isa that Lea had found his place here so quickly when his fiery red hair and emerald green eyes were a constant reminder that he wasn't Japanese.

"Are the triads trying to take over again?"

"I don't know, maybe. We can't let them take over though, even one is too much." The chair squeaked again when Xaldin leaned forward and the silence stretched until Isa looked up from the documents he was working on, "That redhead, that friend of yours, he's together with Larxene, right?"

"Yeah." Isa dared to quickly look him in the eye in an attempt to read his intentions, but he failed. Why would someone of Xaldin's stature care if Lea was dating Larxene or not?

"How much are you wiring to Seifer to have him move her around from hostess club to hostess club?"

Isa's heart started to beat faster, his mouth had gone dry and he gripped his pencil tighter, "What are you talking about?"

"This isn't a hearing, Saïx, and there's no need for you to deny it. I already know. Axel called you and asked you to help him, because that chink has been pestering Larxene, but you needed Seifer's cooperation and he never does anything out of the goodness of his heart, not after you got his girlfriend killed. How much are you wiring to Seifer, Saïx?"

"50.000 yen, every week and to different accounts. I did it on my own. Lea…Axel didn't know about it."

"Of course he did, Saïx. Larxene wouldn't be the one to ask you for help, and you wouldn't help her if she did, not by putting your neck out at least." Xaldin paused for effect, just long enough to have Isa look up again and assure Xaldin that he had his attention, "You cut out a good deal for yourself too, I hope. You're not just giving away that money for free."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you had Axel pledge his loyalty to you, right? Because if this money scheme was to be known by someone else less understanding, you'd be in deep trouble, and that would be a shame – you're very good at what you do, Saïx."

"He doesn't have to pledge anything to me."

"Right, because you're friends. It's not like he's turned you into a cash cow, and he's definitely not sucking you dry."

Isa looked at him in silence, uncertain of what to say to that.

"He tells you of his plans, doesn't he? If he was to leave for Tokyo tomorrow, you would know that, right? You're financing the life of his prostitute girlfriend, telling you what he has planned is the least he has to do, am I right?"

Lea was going to Tokyo? For how long? Isa gulped, he hadn't specified what he wanted in return for that money, it hadn't occurred to him that he should ask for anything in return, he figured that it was a silent agreement that they would keep each other informed of what they planned.

"I'm sure you know that he's not going by himself either. He's taking Larxene with him, and Seifer will still receive his money even while she's gone, and Larxene will still receive a paycheck even though she's not working, and it's still your neck on the line here. You're the one with the ultimate responsibility, Saïx."

"How long will they be gone?"

"I can't remember all the details."

Isa pulled out a small, black laptop from the top drawer and flipped it open. This was where he kept all the family accounts, all the income and expenditures were in this laptop. He controlled a big part of the finances and he had received enough offers like these to not recognize them when he heard them.

"How much do you want?"

"How much information do you want?"

"All of it."

"Make it a hundred once a week. Can you make it work?"

Isa glared at Xaldin quickly before turning his attention back to the laptop without answering the question, "How long will they be gone?"

"Two to three weeks, depending on how long the money lasts."

"What money?"

Xaldin smirked and gave Isa a pitiful look, "You were really screwed by that redhead in your deal, Saïx. He's on Seifer's good side again, the money's from him. Maybe it was a gift for the new life they are going to start?"

"They're getting married in Tokyo?"

The secretive look on Xaldin's face made him nervous and he looked after him when he got up from his chair and walked around the table.

"We have a division in Tokyo, the boss there is a good friend of mine. I'll make sure that he keeps an eye out for your friend as long as you keep your end."

They heard someone walk down the hallway. Xaldin nodded in Zexion's direction when he stepped out the office to see who was approaching them.

"Xaldin, what are you doing here at this time of day? I was under the impression that numbers bored you."

"I'm just killing time before the meeting."

Zexion turned to Isa, letting Xaldin leave. He sighed loudly to get Isa's attention and he brushed his bangs back slightly even though they always fell back over his right eye.

"Saïx, we have to leave, the car is downstairs."

"What? Where? You don't have any appointments today." Isa looked at the clock on the wall and tried not to show his frustration at Zexion's sudden whim to go out and drag Isa with him.

"You really are an imbecile. The scholarship exam is in two hours, you're taking it too, aren't you? We might as well go there in the same car. Pack your stuff and let's go."

Isa nodded, dumbfounded at Zexion's request. He followed him downstairs and out of the mansion. A black Mercedes with tainted windows stood waiting for them by the entrance. Zexion's chauffeur held up the door for the both of them and closed it gently after them.

As they took off, Isa couldn't even bring himself to wonder why Zexion was being nice for once; all he could think of was the test and the future it promised him.

~ooo~

Nurses and doctors walked down the corridor, there was a lot of noise coming from the patients, the trolleys that were pushed around everywhere, and the doctors insistent mumbling between one and another was enough to make Isa's head hurt.

He was walking down the corridor on the sixth floor to visit his mother, but first he had to make a stop at the waiting room because Dr. Akihara wanted a word with him. It was a strange request, Isa thought, the doctor rarely wanted to include him in the treatment of his mother, but Zexion's money seemed to have made Isa easier to deal with.

Isa followed the white line on the floor, his shoulders were slumped and it felt comforting having something to focus his gaze on. The exam for the scholarship had taken place two days ago. He really had thought that he had a shot at it, he had given it his all and it hadn't been enough

The scholarship had gone to the one with the best score; Zexion.

His chest had felt tight ever since he found out, and everything seemed like a foggy haze. The work at the office had been the one thing that had kept him going, and truth to be told, he wouldn't have come here to face his mother while in shame if it hadn't been for the doctor calling him.

"Isa, there you are! You're late." The doctor walked up to him, his usually neutral expression into one of distress, "You haven't been here in days, Isa. What are you trying to do to your poor mother?"

"I've been busy."

Dr. Akihara quickly eyed the dragon tattoo that peaked discreetly from the hem of Isa's white shirt. He was still in his suit he realized when he saw Dr. Akihara look away with a small shake of his head. It was just as well, with him failing the exam he should be getting used to those looks, this was going to be his life from now on.

"Well, you're here now. Your mother didn't want me to tell you this, Isa, but you have to prepare for what's to come and maybe have arrangements made beforehand... the cancer has spread. It's really aggressive and our attempts to keep it at bay have failed. I'm sorry, Isa, but the only thing we can do for your mother now is to make her as comfortable as we can."

"W-what does that…" That tightness in his chest was starting to hurt really badly and for a second he forgot how to breathe. He looked at the doctor, "What does that mean? How much more time does she have?"

"I don't know, a few days, a month maybe."

"And… she knows?"

The look of pity in the doctor's eyes didn't even bother him anymore. He nodded, "For two weeks now. We thought that maybe we could get it in check, but, since we couldn't, I thought that you should know."

"Can I go and see her now?"

"Yeah, of course. If you need help with the arrangements the hospital provides –"

Isa walked off, not in the least interested in what the doctor had to say. A few days, maybe a month, that's what his mother had left to live.

As if in a trance he went back to the ground floor and walked out of the hospital. Each breath made his chest hurt, and he tried to breathe in deep as he was met by the cool breeze outside. He walked into a coffee store nearby and bought tea, cupcakes, a candle and a bouquet of lent lilies before he went back to the sixth floor.

He had no recollection of his way into his mother's room. One minute he was standing by the cashier and in the next his mother turned her head when she felt his presence, and she smiled at him. She was pale. She had put a scarf on her head to hide her bald head, she seemed tired, and yet there was a spark of fire in her eyes that reminded Isa of the lively woman he knew.

"Honey, why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would've at least put some make-up on."

"You're beautiful as you are."

Her smile grew wider as Isa walked up closer, she pulled the small table, that was attached to her bed, closer when she saw that Isa had brought things to eat.

"Wow, look at those. They're going straight to my thighs." She looked at the two cupcakes and tasted the frosting on one of them. Isa took the vase by her nightstand and walked up to the sink by the door to fill it with fresh water while his mother took the bouquet in her arms and smelled the flowers.

"Mm, lent lilies, my favorite."

She gave them back to Isa when he put the vase back on the nightstand and she watched Isa fix the bouquet before he took a seat by her bed.

"You're wearing a suit," she said once he had sat down, "You look so handsome, Isa."

Isa reached for the paper bag the cupcakes had been in and reached for the candle that he had bought with a small sigh. His mother looked at him expectantly and seemed slightly surprised when he put the candle on one of the cupcakes.

"I'm going on a business trip and I don't know if I'll make it back for my birthday, so I thought that we could celebrate my birthday today instead."

"A business trip?" She looked impressed and took another look at the suit, "You're not working at the fishery." The realization of why her son was wearing a suit slowly sunk in and she shook her head softly as she put her hand over her mouth as if she was trying to keep her tears in.

"Of course you aren't. You've always aspired higher. Isa, I'm so proud of you. You'll do great things, honey. I know you will." She reached her hand out and cupped his face gently, "You know, you were born on a full moon, and your grandmother told me that same night that I had nothing to worry about; people born in full moon are strong, and she was right. You are strong, Isa."

He smiled and chuckled lightly, "Yeah, I know, mom. You've told me that story a hundred times already." He quickly reached for the lighter to get a break from looking at his mother and regain his composure before he made her suspect that the doctor had told him everything.

"How's Lea?"

Isa fumbled with the lighter and reached for the candle as soon as he got it to work, "Lea? He's fine. He's his usual self."

"Are you getting along alright?"

"Yeah, of course we are," Isa smiled, "He wanted to be here today, but I told him to stay out. I don't want him upsetting you, not on my birthday party."

"Poor thing, it would've been nice seeing him though. It's been so long now, I almost miss that little rascal."

Isa held the cupcake in his hand to keep a close look on the lit candle, "Alright, are you ready to sing a little English?"

She laughed and shook her head, "Isa, we can sing another song in Japanese. An enka song maybe?"

"Mom!"

It wasn't until that evening that Isa realized what a good liar he could be, during that whole evening his heart had threatened to shatter every time his mother smiled, every time she told a story that he had heard a hundred times before. He didn't know what kept him from falling apart, maybe his grandmother was right. Maybe being born during a full moon had made him strong enough to endure this, or maybe he didn't want to weigh his mother with his own feelings when she was the one on her deathbed, hoping to give her son one last good memory with her before she left this realm.

He walked around the city all night, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't stand still. The ache in his chest was suffocating and it seemed like a part of him believed that he could run away from it. If he walked far enough then maybe it would stop hurting for just a moment, just long enough to maybe think of something to make everything better.

The sun was rising by the time he reached the harbor, his legs were aching almost as much as he chest, but he kept walking until he felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket.

"Isa, I'm sorry. Your mother passed away this morning at eight thirty. It was a shock for all of us. My deepest sympathies, your mother was…"

He wished time had stopped then. He wished that everyone would disappear so that he could try to comprehend what just had happened, and to give him time to make a decision. He had a vague memory of looking out over the sea from a bridge, the wind against his skin and the bright morning sky had felt like a mockery from above, and maybe he had contemplated on jumping. He wasn't sure what had kept him on that bridge, he didn't even know how he had gotten back to the mansion, he had even less of a clue as to how he got through the memorial service.

Tsukiji Asako

When had this stone been made and why had it his mother's name on it, he wondered as he knelt in front of it. He was holding a bouquet of flowers he realized after a few moments and he put it by her gravestone, not really aware of what it was he was doing. It was raining hard, the rain was cold and merciless, and Isa thought that it shouldn't be any other way.

"Saïx, the car is waiting."

Zexion's voice felt strangely real in this haze he was living in right now. Isa could see Zexion's reflection in the shiny surface of his mother's gravestone. He stood there with Lexaeus, ever loyal by his side, under a big, black umbrella. They were both dressed in black, they must've been at the memorial service. Strange, Isa mused for a moment.

"How long have I been here?"

"Long enough. You can come back here tomorrow, you need rest now."

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"You're supposed to live on, Saïx. You'll surpass this and go back to normal."

Was that encouraging words? What was normal? What was normal about his life right now? Isa looked over his shoulder to see if there were any sign of anyone else but Zexion and Lexaeus, maybe they had all left long ago. It did seem like Zexion had been right about him being here long enough, the rain had made his body numb and it was difficult to stand up, but he managed to walk up to Zexion.

"Your brothers await you."

He didn't have a sympathetic look on his face; there was no look of pity, just the same old Zexion, stating a fact. It didn't help much, although it might have alleviated a little to know that there were people willing to call him brother, even if it just was a charade.

~ooo~

Late September

~ooo~

Zexion favored the Crowne Hotel for some reason Isa had yet to figure out, not that he minded. The hotel was beautifully decorated, even the foyer on the ground level. He could hardly imagine how pretty the top floor was. Zexion was at a meeting with that man from the Chinese triads. It was a secretive meeting, and only Lexaeus had been allowed to go with him.
Isa had been ordered to wait in the foyer, and there he was, waiting for his superior to finish his business so that Isa could get back to the never ending paperwork back home.

He felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket and he took it out slowly and looked at it with an empty expression. His heart skipped a beat when he saw who it was from, it wasn't a pleasant feeling. He had fallen into a nice sense of numbness since the day of the memorial service, rendering every other feeling into something painful and bothersome.

"Happy birthday, Isa! You're not doing anything today, right? Remember that you promised. I have a surprise for you so meet me up at the harbor venue at seven. Don't be late."

Even through that simple message, Lea drew him out. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go there, he was certain that he didn't want to see Lea, and yet he found himself running towards the harbor venue to be there at seven sharp. A part of him was scared that he'd get there and see that there was no one there waiting for him, but another part was excited and almost happy at catching a glimpse of the past he had lost.

There weren't many people out on the harbor when he got there. He looked forward to see if maybe Lea was sitting on the benches alongside the harbor, but he could only see a few couples on every other bench. Isa stood there and tried to catch his breath while he kept looking out for Lea when he suddenly felt someone run up behind him. Before he could react he was blindfolded and he put his hands over the soft fabric covering his eyes.

"Did you know that this strip is almost six miles long?"

Lea's breath was warm against his ear and the sound of his voice made him feel strangely safe. Lea led him forward gently, his hands on Isa's waist to guide him properly down the pavement.

"Are we walking that long?"

"Not really, we can go for a long walk after the big event, and after that we could go to a Tivoli downtown. They have cotton candy and merry-go-rounds."

"Where have you been?"

"All over the place, there are jobs all over town."

"You've been here in Kobe?"

Lea chuckled, "Where else, silly? How is it going on your end? Are they being nice to you?"

He moved in closer when a wind blew in from the ocean to hear Isa's response, and he smiled when Isa nodded. It didn't seem like he was lying, why would he lie? Xaldin had probably just been playing mind games with him to get money, and Isa had bought into that in less than a second.

"Alright, we're standing outside the surprise. It's quite a big one, and it's been on our to-do-list for a while, but for some reason we haven't done it yet. Are you ready?"

"Ready."

The Kobe Port Tower stood alight, illuminating its surroundings with different colors. It looked impressive this close up, and he could only imagine the view from the top. The Kobe skyline, the vast ocean, the endless sky, the sea of light from the city; the perfect view.

"There's another surprise at the top. Two, or maybe one, the other isn't really a surprise, but it's sort of a part of the actual surprise… you'll have to see it to get it."

Isa looked at Lea for the first time in ages, he looked so grown up. He had been working out, he wasn't as scrawny as he used to be, and his work out on the streets gave him a rough look that actually suited him.

"Are you okay? You look tired." Lea put his hand on Isa's forehead to check his temperature and frowned slightly, "You're not ill, are you? Or we'll have to switch the surprise up top for some chicken soup and a couple of bad movies."

"No, I'm fine." Isa sighed, he suddenly felt out of breath when Lea looked at him like there was no other person in the world he would pay attention to now, maybe it was a look that was all in Isa's head because he suddenly felt an urge to tell Lea everything.

All of his thoughts wanted to be formulated at once, and for a moment he thought that he wouldn't be able to do it, but if he couldn't talk about it with Lea, then who?

"Actually, there's…"

"Axel!"

They both looked over at the entrance to the Kobe Port Tower and saw a young woman wave at them. Lea grabbed Isa by his wrist and dragged him along with a huge grin on his face.

"Happy birthday, Isa, or should I call you Saïx? You are my superior after all." She hurried to Lea's side and put an arm around his waist to come in close and get warm.

Was Lea serious? Were they really going to bring the rest of the evening with her, a woman Isa barely knew and had no interest of knowing?

He wanted to explode. He wanted to scream and get this sickening feeling out, but he could just feel his chest clench as he stared back at Lea's "prostitute girlfriend", like Xaldin had called her, thinking that maybe he looked as angry as he felt.

"Hey, Isa? You with us?" Lea waved his hand right in front of Isa's face to get him to react, "Don't go spacing out on us now, we had to pull on a few strings to make this happen, and I still don't think it was a smart idea leaving that guard with the surprise. He didn't look reliable."

"He'll do fine. We're taking the elevator up anyway, we'll be there in a flash. You've got the tickets, right?" Larxene dug in Lea's pockets and found the three tickets to the Kobe Port Tower with triumphant smile, "Let's get this party started."

"Isa, c'mon, it's freezing here."

He must have followed them, because next thing he knew he was standing in front of the elevator. The thought of standing in it for however long it took to get the top made only the clenching in his chest worse. The walls began to close in on him and if he was to be given a wish at this very moment, he would wish to never have to hear that woman's grating voice ever again.

"All elevators should have a see-through floor," she said as they waited for the elevator to come.

"Especially if it's in a skyscraper," Lea added.

"The staircases too, that way no one gets away with being a coward."

"Or afraid of heights, which is not the same as being a coward, by the way."

Isa shook his head slightly and closed his eyes for a brief moment, he had to calm down if he didn't want to break down here and cause an unnecessary scene.

"I'm not good with small spaces. I'll take the stairs."

"What? But, Isa…"

He walked past them and hurried to the staircase, there he could probably stall long enough to make this evening go by faster without having to be in their company.

"I told you that I shouldn't have come," Isa heard Larxene whisper to Lea as the door shut behind him. What wouldn't he give to get a phone call from any of his superiors now, telling him to get back to headquarters immediately because there was a pile of paper to be dealt with and all of it had to be done before midnight.

He had hoped that the exit out on the deck was on the opposite direction of where Lea and Larxene were, and it was, but Lea had been waiting for him right by the exit, and if it hadn't been for the insistent heaviness over his body, he would've clocked Lea right there and then for dragging him here when he could have been asleep.

"Isa, what's the matter?" Lea's look was piercing and demanding, as if Isa was the one who owed him an explanation, "Are you mad at us or something? Look, I know that you don't do well with new people around, but I swear, if you get to know Larxene you'll really like her, and she was looking forward to getting to know you. The surprise up here was her idea, just – please stop moping and give her a chance – please?"

"Yeah, sure."

How casual had he sounded to make Lea smile like that? Did it even matter? That smile wasn't really for him, Lea just wanted him to accept Larxene, and he had smiled because he thought that Isa was willing to give her a chance. Did Lea think that he would be more willing to help her if he got to know her? Was this a business meeting?

Larxene had been sitting by a table that had been randomly placed in the middle of the deck hall. There were balloons in different colors hanging around the table, the tablecloth was dark pink, and she had set the table with cute china and in the middle was the cake.

"Axel and I thought that we'd be able to bake you a cake, but we didn't quite make it, so we bought this one instead."

Isa smiled softly, at least he could be nice about this. He sat down by the plate with his name on it while Lea dug in his pocket for his lighter and Larxene pulled out the cake cutter from a bag underneath the table.

"Here we go," Lea pulled out his lighter and dropped a few receipts as he reached over the cake to light the candles. Isa reached down and picked them up, ready to roll them into a ball and throw it in the bin, but then he saw what it was; receipts from restaurants in Tokyo.

"You went to Tokyo?" He wasn't sure if he had made himself heard, it wasn't his place to ask, and maybe he didn't want to know. Isa quickly looked for a ring on Larxene's ring finger, but she was wearing mittens.

"Yeah, it was just –"

"You were there today."

Larxene took the bunch of receipts in Isa's hand and chuckled, "Well, we had to get you something good, boss."

As she pulled out a small wrapped package from her bag, Isa turned to Lea with a questioning look, but Lea looked away, just like he always did when he was about to lie or when he was lying already.