Title: Ashes in the Wind

Summary: In her eagerness to finally shed her loneliness, Lucy missed all the signs that maybe Natsu wasn't quite...right. *based off the crack theory that E.N.D. is masquerading as Natsu*

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

AN: Yes, I know it's been forever. Please hold any complaints you might have until after you read the AN at the end of the chapter.

"Hey Lucy, wanna join us?"

Lucy stiffened at the shout and tried not to growl too loudly. "Like hell!" Lucy shouted back as she banged her fist on her bathroom door, taking a deep breath. Dammit Lucy, you know he doesn't deserve your rage.

Lucy took another deep breath as she walked into her bedroom, her eyes drifting to all the newspaper clippings strung up on her wall out of habit. Her stomach clenched at her constant reminder of her loneliness, her angry shouts at Natsu ringing in her ears. She trudged over to her bed and collapsed onto it, slowly trying to burn a hole through her ceiling as her frustration grew.

As much as she loved the moments when happiness bubbled in her stomach from the joy that she finally had her best friend back, she couldn't stop her growing disappointment from gnawing at her consciousness. All of her the small displeasures itched at the back of her skull and her fingers twitched as her mind screamed at her to scratch them raw.

Lucy threw her arm over her eyes and huffed. She supposed some small part of her had wanted Natsu to come crawling back to her, begging her forgiveness (not that she hadn't already forgiven the idiot but, the thought would have been nice). Even if she understood why Natsu had needed the year alone, he had still abandoned her and condemned her to her loneliness. Lucy realized she was gritting her teeth and hissed, trying to will away her irritation. By this point, all she wanted was an apology, just so she knew he realized he couldn't expect her to automatically forgive him after he disappeared for a year.

Then again, it wasn't just the lack of apology. Natsu had changed over the past year. Had changed a lot over the past year. He still covered up everything with that wonderful boyish grin of his but, he was more...more…

Lucy's frown deepened. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but, there was something drastically different about him. He had lost a spark somewhere along the line. There were times she would turn around and his eyes...his eyes looked dead. He would just be staring blankly off to the side until he noticed her, and then it was right back to covering everything back up with a big grin and mindless chatter.

Wasn't she his best friend? Weren't they confidants?

A whole year...

Lucy bit her lip at her hypocrisy when she remember that she hadn't told him much either. Not about her depression, not about Aquarius, not much of anything from the past year, really.

Looks like we both have our secrets.

Lucy heard water splashing and then footsteps coming towards her door. "Yo Lucy, got any pants I can borrow?"

Lucy shrieked when her doorknob started to turn. "Don't come in here!"

Natsu whined from the other side. "Why not, you didn't have a problem with it a year ago!"

Now what could've possibly changed that?

"Yes I did!" Lucy shouted, springing up and rifling through her drawers in hopes that the burst of activity would drive away her spiteful thoughts. "Just don't come in here!" Lucy shuffled some skirts aside before smacking her forehead, remembering that she had tossed out her sweats almost a year ago, seeing how her closet was small and the weather never changed in Crocus. Lucy pursed her lips as she eyed her drawers before turning on her heel and pulling her door open enough so that she could poke her head out and face Natsu. She flashed him a -slightly- apologetic grin. "Sorry, I have nothing. Why don't you just wash your pants? With your magic, you can dry them easily afterwards."

Natsu gave her a flat look, his eyes hooded. She was barely managed to suppress her shiver at his lifeless pits. "Those pants are old."

Lucy snorted. "Since when have you ever cared?" She wriggled out of her doorway and ducked around him. "Come on," she said as she headed towards her bathroom without waiting to see if Natsu was following her. "I'll even help you wash them. We can eat afterwards."

Her floor groaned as Natsu bounced after her. "Thanks Luce!"

Her stomach lurched and Lucy froze. What did he just say...

Natsu managed not to bowl her over, his feet squeaking against her tiles, and the noise helped Lucy break out of her trance. She whipped around, half falling as she scrambled to grab the bathroom's door frame before she totally slipped on the slick tiles. "Don't call me that," she warned, her voice flat with the barest hints of rage leaking through.

Natsu stiffened in surprise, his face carefully blank under her glare. His eyebrows twitched and a muscle in his jaw throbbed as he crossed his arms across his chest. "Fine."

Lucy pressed her lips together, determined not to falter when she met Natsu's dark eyes. They were flat yet again, his usual spark banked and locked away as they glared at each other. She narrowed her eyes at him before turning on her heel and stomping into her bathroom, slamming the door behind her with an angry huff.

Lucy swallowed her shout and moved forward until she was able to grip the edges of her sink. Her knuckles were bone white against the porcelain as she clenched her fists until the trembling in her limbs disappeared, Natsu's dark eyes dancing in her mind's eye. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly in an attempt to will her irritation away, the desire to scream and kick something growing with each second.

It had been a year, she knew the two of them couldn't have just returned to being pals like they used to be. They weren't gelling like they should be, their meanings and phrases coming out twisted and jumbled and their frustration egging the other one until the tension grew unbearable. Lucy knew she would buckle under it soon if one of them didn't do something to change the situation. Lucy took a deep breath, knowing she really needed to walk out and sit Natsu down and start what would undoubtedly be a very long but, very necessary conversation. They wouldn't be able to go back to what they were without it. Both had lost too much, both had too much to tell the other.

But instead, her hands stayed glued to her sink and she listened silently to Natsu stomping away, and the gulf stretched wider as the silence descended.

AN: Yes, again, I know it's been a while since I updated this fic. Life got Difficult and I was suddenly overwhelmed with all the WIPs I have/had going and it got pushed to the back burner for my own sanity. Which brings me to my next point;

I'm very, very sorry to say this but, I truly can't continue this story. I've been trying to write this story for months but Fairy Tail in general has become so problematic for me that I can't even think of canon without becoming physically ill and/or downright furious. Tbh, I haven't read the manga for roughly six months other than the Christmas special chapter, and reading that was probably the biggest mistake I've made in years. As a result, several of my WIPs (esp stuff like this that follows canon pretty closely) have been discarded. :(

However, since a fair amount of work has gone into plotting this fic out, I figured rather than me just deleting this story outright, I'd put it up for adoption. If anyone's interested, I can put up what I have written for the next chapter and some plot notes and anyone who wants to continue the story can (just pls credit me for anything I wrote). Heck, if you are interested in continuing the story (or taking bits of it and making it your own or whatever), message me/review/whatever in the next two weeks or so and I'll put your name in the next chapter so people know who to go check out. As a final note, please know that I don't mind how many people want to take this fic/plot bunny up so if any of you want to continue this, go for it.