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Chapter 2 – Teenage Wasteland

God, it sucked to be me right now.

I'd been ripped from my life, from my friends, from everything I knew and dragged to this godforsaken place.

Forks, Washington.

Even the name was stupid.

It rained all the damn time. I'd only seen the sun once since we moved here – on the day after we arrived. Since then, there had been some form of rain every day for the last month. It sprinkled, drizzled, and poured. It came down in buckets. It rained cats and dogs. Every cliché you'd ever heard or thought of about rain, I'd seen it in the past four weeks.

How did anyone survive in this place without sprouting webbed feet and gills? I was seriously considering asking for scuba gear for my birthday in August. I had a feeling I'd need it this fall…just to get to school without drowning.

Why did we have to move here? I was happy before. I had loved everything about my life. The last thing I'd wanted to do was leave it!

We had lived in one of the affluent suburbs of Chicago. It was like living in a small town with all the benefits of a big city right in our own backyard. We were close enough to drive into Chicago to watch the Cubs play a game at Wrigley Field, or to visit the countless museums, or shop on the Magnificent Mile, but were far enough away that we didn't have to deal with the grittier aspects of living in the city. I couldn't imagine a better place to live…and if there were such a place, it certainly wouldn't be Forks!

As for my everyday life, that had been just the way I liked it too.

I hadn't had any complaints about school. I mean, I wasn't a brainiac or anything, but I did okay. I managed to get B's and stuff without being a total nerd like my brother.

Yeah, I definitely hadn't been a nerd or a social retard the way Edward was.

Not to be conceited or anything, but I'd always been extremely popular. All the guys wanted to be my friends, and most of the girls wanted to date me.

I know what you're thinking…so much for not being conceited. But I'm really not. I'm just stating the facts.

I was a starter on my football and basketball teams.

I played guitar in a garage band with three of my friends.

And…

Objectively speaking, I wasn't hard on the eyes – tall and blond and reasonably good-looking.

In my world as it had been, all these things combined meant I was practically a god amongst my classmates. I couldn't help that, could I?

My love life?

I definitely did okay. I hadn't had a girlfriend or anything before I left. But that had only been because I hadn't wanted one. I was young, and I enjoyed being single.

I had always been a flirt. My mom claimed I had wrapped women around my little finger easily from the moment I was born. They were drawn to my blond curls and grey eyes and the dimple in my left cheek when I smiled, of course, but it was my reaction to them that made me truly irresistible. The truth was that I'd always loved women – how they looked and smelled and moved.

Even as a small child, I remembered women visiting my mother or seeing pretty ladies in restaurants or at church. I would smile at them shyly at first, playing coy, and before they knew it, I was in their laps, wrapping my arms around their necks and asking if they wanted to take me home with them. They always hugged me back and kissed my cheek, telling me they would take me home if my mom and dad would have allowed it.

What can I say; I guess I had natural charisma when it came to the ladies. Thankfully that gift hadn't gone away as I got older. I still loved to flirt, spending time with whichever girl happened to be available to me at the moment. And the girls I set my sights on – like the women from my childhood – found it difficult to resist my charms.

Charming I may have been, but I'd be the first to admit that I certainly wasn't a saint where women were concerned.

I guess I was kind of a love 'em and leave 'em type of guy. I mean, I wasn't interested in a relationship but I definitely wasn't opposed to a good make-out if the girl was willing. It wasn't like the girls didn't know what they were getting into. Everyone knew that I wasn't looking to get tied down with anyone. So, could I really be blamed for some girl who took advantage of what I had to offer and then deluded herself into thinking there could be something more between us? I didn't think so.

And then there was Makenna Grant.

I'd kind of been taking every possible opportunity to make out with Makenna in the months before we moved, even though I'd known she'd had an on again/off again thing with some other guy. I'd definitely never bothered to make sure that she and her boyfriend were off again each and every time she wanted to be with me. I knew it was a violation of the guy code to make out with some other dude's girl, but Makenna was smokin' hot and I just couldn't control myself around her.

So yeah, my past with women was a bit on the checkered side. Still, I didn't think I technically qualified as a manwhore. At least, not yet anyway, since I was still a virgin.

My intact virginity wasn't because of a lack of trying on my part to lose it. In fact, that was one reason I'd spent so much time with Makenna. Simply stated, the girl wanted me, and every time we'd been together, she'd let me go just a little bit further. In baseball terms, I'd rounded second base and was well on my way to third when I found out we were moving. If I'd had just a few more months with her, I knew that she would have eventually let me slide into home.

Was it any wonder that I didn't want to leave my old life behind?

The day my parents had sat Edward and me down to have a talk with us, I knew I wouldn't like what they had to say.

I'd thought maybe they were splitting up. It was a little hard to believe when my mom and dad seemed to still be so in love with each other. But I'd seen parents of my friends who had ended up splitting out of the blue. Usually the cause was a hot piece on the side. Had my father been playing doctor after hours with one of the nurses at the hospital?

Nah, I didn't think the old man had it in him. Besides, I knew for a fact that he couldn't keep his hands off my mom.

Believe me, it wasn't something I liked to think about. In fact, the very idea made me throw up in my mouth a little bit whenever it crossed my mind. But try as they may, my parents were never exactly successful when they tried to be quiet during sex. Yeah, I know. Totally sick, right? You'd think they'd be too old for that shit or something. Unfortunately, not so much. And I was cursed to have the bedroom next door to theirs; so, I knew that they still went at it at least a couple of times a week.

Their moans and groans were good for something though. At least they were enough of a warning system that I'd never actually walked in on them or anything. I was sure that would have scarred me for life. And Dad would probably go into debt paying for my therapy.

Then I'd had a horrifying thought. Maybe they weren't having this family meeting to tell us they were separating or getting a divorce. Maybe they were going to tell us that they were going to have another baby.

God, how embarrassing! All my friends would know that my parents went at each other like a couple of animals.

Couldn't they just act their age? You know, sleep in twin beds and never have sex and give in to the inevitable fact that they were old and dried up?

While I was unconsciously and unwillingly contemplating my parents' sex life, they had dropped the bomb on me.

Neither Mom nor Dad had had an affair. They weren't getting a divorce. And Mom wasn't preggers either. No, the truth was worse. Much, much worse. We were moving.

I had no memories of Great-Grandma Elizabeth. I knew from pictures that she'd come to visit Mom and me in the hospital when I was born. And I guess my parents had taken me to Washington to see her once or twice when I was really little, before I could remember. I almost felt like I had known her though, because of the stories Mom had told me and Edward about her.

My mother used to spend the summers with her when she was a child. She'd told us about how her grandmother had made cleaning a game for her as a little girl, planting buttons for her to find whenever she dusted a room. They had made sugar cookies together, and Great-Grandma had tons of cookie cutters in the shapes of angels, of stars, of crescent moons, of Halloween pumpkins and Christmas trees, of animals and flowers. Mom had said that her grandmother must have had hundreds of those cookie cutters, and that they'd always had so much fun together cutting out the different shapes and decorating the cookies with frosting, colored sugar, and candies. They had gone for walks in the wood and played card games or Scrabble together every evening after supper. Mom said that the best memories of her childhood were shared with Great-Grandma in that house in Washington State.

I had always loved my mother's stories about Great-Grandma Elizabeth and the large, white house in the forest. But being captivated by the description of a house in a story didn't mean I ever wanted to live there! I'd thought that Rapunzel, the Three Pigs, and the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe all lived in cool places when I was a kid, but I'd never wanted to move in with them.

Well, maybe I had given some thought to living with Rapunzel, but it was more because I'd always kind of had a thing for chicks with long hair. Yes, I was a bit of a perv, even at age five.

That thought just depressed me all over again. I had no one here to be pervy with!

Against my will, the image of Makenna's naked breasts took over my brain. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help thinking of how her skin had felt under my fingertips. I recalled just how sweet her lips had tasted, how she had moaned into my mouth as I touched her, and I felt my mood sink to an all-time low at the same time my dick began to rise.

Dammit! In Forks, I was going to have to start all over again. I would have to go out of my way to meet girls. I hadn't had to try with girls in… Hmm… Ever, to be honest. And I wasn't viewing this as a challenge. It was more of a damned inconvenience.

I was almost fifteen, for Christ's sake! How much longer was I going to have to wallow in my virginity?

Unfortunately, I was going to have to wait a lot longer now than I would have had to if we'd stayed in Chicago. And my parents wondered why I was so cranky.

Tucked back here in the woods, cut off from civilization like I was the fucking Unabomber or something, I didn't even have a way to meet girls yet. I was probably going to have to wait until school started, and that idea totally sucked balls. I mean, I'd been here for weeks and hadn't met a single girl!

"Edward Cullen! You give that back!"

The high-pitched shriek found the base of my spine and crawled uncomfortably upward, making me shiver.

Correction: I had met one girl.

One scrawny, whiny, obnoxious, irritating little girl!

Bella Swan. Oh how did I get lucky enough to have this lovely girl in my life?

Did you catch the sarcasm there? Good, because it was totally intentional.

Bella Swan was the girl next door. Not the hot, curvy, sexually adventurous kind of girl next door that stars in most guys' fantasies. But the reality version of the girl next door – all big eyes and gangly limbs, annoyingly always around whenever she was least wanted, and, of course, way too young to do anything fun with. A perv I might be, but I definitely wasn't a pedophile.

Of course one man's jailbait throwback was another man's perfect age to take advantage of. Edward was only a couple of months older than Bella. And in my opinion, she could be just the girl to give my baby brother a bit of much needed experience.

If there was something purer than driven snow, it would be Edward. As far as I knew, he'd never held hands with a girl, let alone kissed one. He'd never even shown interest in girls at all before now. I had honestly begun to worry that maybe he would pitch or catch for the other team, if you know what I mean.

But he really seemed to like Bella. Maybe more than he even realized.

So far, he didn't seem to have the slightest clue what to do with her though. Seriously, the boy was twelve! He should at least be slipping a girl the tongue by now. I most definitely had at that age. Instead, he seemed to be firmly stuck in friend mode with the Swan girl. I mean, really, what was wrong with him?

I was beginning to have significant doubts that he and I could actually be related. I was considering asking Mom and Dad if Edward were adopted. It would certainly explain so much.

"Edward! I'm not kidding! You'd better give that back right now!"

I heard pounding footfalls on the floor above me followed by what sounded like rampaging elephants coming down the stairs.

"You're going to have to catch me!" My brother called over his shoulder as he ran past me, clutching a bright pink notebook and with Bella close on his heels.

O-kay. How old were these two again? Because they were acting more like third graders on the playground instead of pre-teens whose bodies should be pumping pubescent hormones through them right now.

Still, it was classic boy who doesn't know how to let the girl know he liked her behavior. Absolutely textbook. Why didn't he just pull her pigtails while he was at it?

I rolled my eyes and huffed in frustration.

"Edward, this isn't funny! I want my notebook back now!" Bella screeched at the top of her lungs while chasing Edward down the stairs that led to the first floor.

I wasn't going to follow them. Really, I wasn't. What did I care about the pre-teen drama being played out by my brother and the brat next door?

"Edward Anthony! If you open that notebook, I swear to God, I'll kill you!"

Uh oh, she'd pulled out his middle name…and the death threats. On second thought, maybe I would check out what was going on downstairs. It sounded like things were about to get juicy.

I wasn't about to race down there though. I wasn't that interested. Still, if Edward was going to get his ass handed to him by a girl, I kind of wanted to see it. I figured that shit could be pretty frickin' hilarious.

Taking the stairs at a leisurely pace, I followed the sounds of running feet and pissed off girl. At the bottom of the staircase, I turned to my left, walking towards our living room and what I was sure was about to become my little brother's much deserved smack down.

Bella was chasing Edward around the large, white sofa that dominated our living room. He was laughing. She was most definitely not. Oh yeah, baby bro was about to get his first lesson in male/female social interactions – even if you thought it was funny as hell, if she wasn't smiling, you better cut that shit out fast.

"Come on, Bella," Edward was saying, "I'm sure there's nothing in here that I shouldn't see." He had stopped running but was now holding a desperately reaching Bella at bay while he tried to flip open the notebook.

"Edward! Don't! Please!"

I didn't know if she'd heard my approach. Maybe I'd unknowingly cleared my throat. Or maybe she just somehow sensed my presence. But for whatever reason, Bella paused in her struggle with my brother and turned her head to look at me.

What I saw in her eyes stopped me cold. Tears. There were unshed tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill. And the look she gave me. There was fear…no, there was true terror in her expression. But there was something else too. Pleading. I couldn't understand why, but she was looking to me for help. And even more incomprehensibly to me, I found myself wanting to help her.

I had no idea what was in that notebook. Angsty tween girl poetry? Amateurish song lyrics? A top ten list of why she loved the actor with the six-pack abs or the singer with the girly haircut? I didn't know, and I didn't care. Things had gone too far, and I needed to stop this now.

Striding over to my brother, I easily snatched the notebook from his hand and whacked him on the back of the head with it for good measure.

"Hey!" he complained as he rubbed the sore spot on his head and scowled at me. "What did you do that for, Jazz? We were just playing around."

I frowned back at him. Could he really be that stupid? Apparently so. What an idiot. "Christ, Edward. Don't be such a douche. You were playing around. Bella wasn't. This isn't a game for her, and she doesn't think it's funny. Why don't you try buying a clue?"

Edward's gaze flew to Bella. She was standing absolutely still, her arms hanging limply at her sides, her eyes intent on the floor between her feet. She looked fragile, as if she could shatter into pieces at any moment. I didn't think he had seen the tears in her eyes earlier, but he'd have to be a complete moron not to see the defeat in her posture now.

In quick succession I saw shock, horror, and regret play across Edward's face. He honestly hadn't realized until this moment that Bella hadn't just been playing along. I knew my brother and understood that he would never intentionally cause someone pain, especially not her. Now that he finally got what had really been going on, he looked sick.

Bella still hadn't looked up, hadn't moved, hadn't said a word. I didn't know what to say to make her feel better. Besides, it wasn't really in my job description to do anyway, was it? I wasn't the one who'd tortured the poor girl. It was Edward's job to fix, not mine.

I tried to hand her back the notebook, but with her eyes downcast, she didn't notice the gesture. I stepped closer to her and held it out where she'd be able to see it.

After a moment, she reached out tentatively and took the notebook from my hand. Bella hugged it tightly to her chest with both arms wrapped around it, confirming for me that she had something in there that she wanted to protect.

Finally she looked up at me.

There was the gratitude I was expecting in her eyes. But there was a flash of something else too. Was that…hero-worship?

Oh hell no.

I'd saved one pint-sized damsel in distress and suddenly I was supposed to be some kind of knight in shining armor? Well believe me, Lancelot I was not. I definitely needed to nip this in the bud. Fast.

With scorn both in my expression and my voice, I spoke to both of them but looked solely at Bella, "You know I really don't have time to babysit you two. Do you think you kids can play together nicely now? If not, maybe you should go home, Bella."

I watched her reaction.

I simply stood there and watched as that spark in Bella's eyes died.

I watched as a pain that far eclipsed the hurt that Edward's thoughtlessness had caused her took its place. And I was glad.

Of course I was glad. I'd gotten exactly what I wanted, hadn't I?

As those large, brown eyes stared unblinkingly into mine, I witnessed the deeper, sharper pain that I'd caused bring first sadness and then shame to this little girl who had done nothing to me but look at me with admiration.

I closed my eyes for an instant, trying to block out that look. And then quickly spun on my heel and left the room.

I hit the stairs running and didn't stop until I'd reached my room and shut myself inside.

I leaned back against my door and took a deep breath.

A question that I didn't know how to answer came unbidden to my mind.

If I was so happy that I'd crushed Bella's little hero-worship moment, then why did I feel like such an asshole?

So, what do you think of Jasper? Is he what you expected?

Huge thanks to DeltaSwan90, my2galspal, and Vican for all their help.

If you have any questions and/or comments about Destination Wedding, or you'd just like to come hang out, you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread in the Twilighted forums - http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=14195&start=0.