Vampires and Automail
The following is a fan-made story.
Fullmetal Alchemist is owned by Hiromu Arakawa and Studio Madhouse, and licensed by Viz Media, Madman Entertainment, Square-Enix, and Funimation.
Hellsing Ultimate is owned by Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse, and licensed by Geneon, Madhouse Entertainment, Manga Entertainment, and Funimation.
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Begin Chapter One: The Two Packages
...
Central Headquarters, Outside Führer King Bradley's Office
"Why do I have to be the one to run the Führer's errands?" Ed whined as Mustang led him out of the office.
"Because the rest of us have real jobs to do," Roy retorted.
Ed just scowled as the man walked with him to the front desk. It had been a month since Ed had turned 16 but everyone still treated him like a child. He was still frowning when a voice knocked him out of his sulking.
"Brother!"
He looked up and sure enough, there was Al, waving from the receptionist's desk. Ed cracked a smile and waved back. It was hard to frown when you were around a two meter tall optimist all the time.
"Good luck with that exam, Ms June," Al said to the woman behind the desk with a wave as he turned toward Brother.
"Thank you, Al!" the receptionist yelled back as he chased Ed outside.
Al caught up to him a block down the sidewalk. Ed was deep in thought, his eyes staring straight ahead and his hands shoved into the pockets of his favorite red coat. It was only after a few minutes of walking that he noticed his younger brother next to him.
"Oh, sorry, Al, I was just thinking," he said apologetically.
"It's okay, Brother. What were you thinking about?" Al asked.
"Why Bradley needs a State Alchemist to pick up some boxes from the post office. I bet he has personnel whose jobs it is to get his mail for him. Why did he ask for me by name to get it? We were in Resembool, for crying out loud!" Ed thought out loud.
"That is a good question, but maybe it's something valuable. Like a gem, or a puppy!"
"He has plenty of extra guards just gambling and lounging around at Central for something like that. No, it's something that we have a connection to and he's trying to get us to do our chores." Ed proclaimed.
Al looked down-trodden, "I still want it to be a puppy."
...
Hellsing Residence, Sir Integra's Office
"-the delivery we have arriving may be a slight bit illegal, so in order to ensure the package's safety, I'm having you two go pick it up," Integra finished.
Seras nodded, "Yes, sir."
"As long as I get my pay, Patron," Pip said with a half-hearted salute. "Although, may I ask why you aren't sending Alucard to do this? He is preoccupied with Father Anderson, again, yes?"
Integra just leaned on her desk, "I'm afraid so. His trip to Ireland to deal with that new-blood vampire took a turn for the worse when the Vatican sent a cleanup crew."
Pip nodded, "Well, Mignonette," he says, turning to Seras, "let us not keep the patron waiting. There is a package with our names on it, and I don't want to be fired my first week here, especially after that firefight in Brazil a few days ago." And with that, Pip and Seras walk out of the building and head toward the Post Depot.
"So, Mignonette, any guesses as to what the boss-man is having us pick up?" Bernadotte asked.
"None what-so-ever," She responded, "but whatever it is, she wants this transaction to be discreet if she only wants us carrying silenced handguns. I feel a bit naked without my rifles."
Pip smiled at that, "Ah, the mystery continues then. My guess is it's a new set of guns for Alucard. The way he uses them, I'm surprised they haven't fallen apart for lack of cleaning. Ah, if only," Pip continued, "he had some respect for the firearms so graciously given to him by Sir Hellsing."
They continued on in silence until they reached the depot. Flashing a Hellsing Officer badge at the guard in the security gate, Seras led Pip into the warehouse of shelved crates and boxes. The warehouse was one of the dozens of checkpoints for mail being shipped in and out of the United Kingdom, but it was the largest by far. Stretching over two kilometers by one kilometer, it was a massive 25 meters in height. All of the twenty meter shelving loomed over the offices in the corner, and it was these offices that handled all of the goings and comings of shipments.
The doors chimed as Victoria opened them into the main office. The 'Head of Posts,' according to the brass plaque on his desk, looked up at the two newcomers with distain.
"Welcome to the Post Depot, what can I do for you?" he said, with little enthusiasm.
Pip reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the ticket Integra had handed to him at the meeting earlier. "We're here for a pickup."
With a glance at the ticket, the clerk's eyes flashed with surprise. He stared at them questioningly, "So you're the ones with the strange shipment? I have to say, it gave one of the workmen quite a start when it fell open while shelving it this morning. Not something you usually see in a crate. Firearms for Hellsing, sure, that's what we expected, but not that."
Seras took a moment to think about what she had just heard. She and Pip shared a moment of confusion while the clerk yammered on.
"-and I've never heard of the place it was shipped from. I mean, what's an Amestr-"
"Well, truth-be-told," Pip said, interrupting the Head of posts mid-rant, "we're here to only pick it up for our boss, we don't know what it is."
The man just stared for a little bit, then stood up slowly. "Sir, you may have a few questions after you see this."
He then proceeded to walk them over to a fork-lift that was lowering the mysterious crate. It was then that Seras noticed the ship-from tag.
"Rockbell Automail, Resembool, Amestris? Where in the world is that?" Seras asked.
The clerk just looked at her and said, "I could ask you the same question. We have no record of this being sent by any post office in the world under the name 'Rockbell' but even more curious are its contents." And with that, the man pried open the lid and everyone leaned in to see what was inside.
The wooden crate, about a meter and a half long by three-fourths of a meter wide, looked like any other crate you would ship machinery in, with one minor difference. The inside was half filled with hay, but that wasn't what anyone was looking at. What they were marveling at were the two mechanical limbs resting in it. Both made from segments of steel, one was a right arm and the other a left leg. On top of both of these was a sealed letter.
Curiosity got the better of her and Seras reached in and took the letter. Keeping the paper together was a red wax seal with two crossing wrenches imprinted in it. Opening it, she read aloud:
~Ed
I'm sending these replacements and instructions of assembly to Central Command under orders from Lieutenant Colonel Mustang so you don't have to show your stupid face to me every time you destroy your automail. Still, it would be nice if you visited every once in a while. I'll tell 'the old hag' not to make anything with milk, as you insist on staying a shorty for the rest of your life. Write me when you get this.
~Winry
Pip, the clerk, and the fork-lift driver stared at the note for the longest time.
Pip broke the silence, "Who's Ed?"
...
Post Office, Two Kilometers from Central Headquarters
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A RUNT SO SMALL YOU COULDN'T EVEN SEE IT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS?!"
"Brother, I won't put you down until you apologize for being rude to the mailman. I'm sorry if we caused you any trouble, sir, I'll just take the crate and we'll be on our way."
"Just see to it that he doesn't come back, ever," the mailman said, with a sideways look at Ed struggling to get out from under Al's arm.
He set Ed down a good ways from the post office, just to be sure he wouldn't be tempted to go through with some of the threats that he and the mailman had exchanged in their heated discussion.
"You could've at least gone easy on my back, Al."
"Sorry, Brother, but it's not like you to start a fight over a little comment on my height," Al said.
Ed continued walking, "It is when he compares it to mine."
The only sound between the two of them on their walk back to headquarters was the clanging of Al's armor and the footsteps of Ed's boots hitting the pavement.
"I wonder what's in the box," Ed finally said as Al handed it over to the two awaiting soldiers outside Mustang's office. "I mean, Roy's not gonna let us leave until he knows whatever's inside isn't destroyed or stolen."
"Maybe it's something for us, like a present!" Al hoped.
"I don't think so, the military didn't even do that for my birthday," Ed sulked.
"Elric! Get in here!"
"What did I do this time?!" Ed shouted when he walked in.
Roy was standing behind his desk with the crate open. "Can you explain why this crate didn't come from Resembool and why it has over-sized weapons inside?" Mustang asked, gesturing to the open box.
He took a few steps toward it until he could see over the edge. Inside were tightly packed guns, guns that looked too large for anyone to use them. Four handguns, a normal-looking scoped rifle, and three rifles that looked like they could each take down a small house all stored expertly inside the box.
Ed turned sharply to Al. "How the hell didn't you notice it was so heavy?!"
"Um, maybe because I had to carry your ass halfway across town!" Al shouted back.
"Both of you calm down. The truth is I had Ms Rockbell ship an extra set of automail to be stored here in case you ever had an emergency, which you seem so prone to having. Now, it's not as big of a loss that they aren't here, but we do want to know where these came from," Roy said.
"Well, we can start with the address and the note that's taped to the underside of the lid," Ed suggested sarcastically.
"We already checked the address but it's nowhere we know of," he explained. "Hellsing Arms Distributor, Berlin, Germany."
Ed leaned over, ripped the note off of the lid and opened it:
Sir Integra Hellsing,
I believe I have everything in order here. These firearms should be equal replacements to their counterparts, although I fail to see why anyone in their right minds would need TWO anti-tank rifles for a 'home project.' Attached is a transaction receipt that needs to be signed and returned. It's just legal stuff, no need to rush.
Sincerely, Head Arms Specialist, Hans Jackson
5 March, 2000
Hellsing Arms Distributor
[No Address Given]
Order No. 2931098234
Items of Transaction:
Hellsing Arms .454 Casull Auto Joshua Serial No. 7489054319
Hellsing Arms 13mm Auto Anti Freak Combat Pistol Jackal Serial No. 3939028849
Walther 9mm PPK Serial No. 8364928473
Beretta 93r 9mm Serial No. 5394725492
Accuracy International AW .357 Mag Extended Scope Serial No. 6927103948
Hellsing Arms Anti Midians 13.7mm Rifle Serial No. 0082718422
Harkonnen II 30mm Anti Tank Rifle Serial No. 3210027612
Harkonnen II 30mm Anti Tank Rifle Serial No. 3210027612
Subtotal: £0.00
Tax: £0.00
Total: £0.00
Signature of Recipient(s):_
Everyone stared blankly for a moment. "I think I agree with the man. Who in their right minds would need two anti-tank rifles?"
End Chapter One: The Two Packages
...
Author's Note:
In this story, you may notice three things:
One- I use the metric system. While I don't know how to use it very well, I still try to copy the mannerisms of both animes in that both are set in countries that use it.
Two- I switch between past and present tense… a lot. It's not something I'm doing on purpose; it's just how the words fit together in my mind.
And Three- Some of the page breaks aren't spaced correctly. Not my fault, the site doesn't support my regular page breaks that look like this: ~~~
You can expect the second chapter in a week or so. Don't hold me to it, though. SECOND CHAPTER NOW AVAILABLE!