(Hey you! Below you will find extreme OOCness, mild cussing, underage drinking, drinking in general, and ungodly dance moves. You've been warned.)
-Something like that.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. –Bill Cosby
Four forks lay in various forms of disarray around the nearly gutted tin of blueberry pie; only the crust remained completely untouched. It was a surprising way to find common ground, a hatred for the crummy shell of desserts, pizza, and bread. Alfred would have been dismayed at the sight, but the trusty butler had asked a night off for the first time in history. Consider him crazy or possibly suicidal but Dick simply had not the right nor will to deny the man his privacy, he let the peacekeeper free, if ole Alfie really loved him he'd be back by morning with the scent of sizzling bacon wafting after him.
Four pairs of eyes, with each their own color of blue to them gazed in different levels of alertness around the table. It was with growing amusement the three elder birds watched Damian's head sink lower, eyelids fluttering open and shut. Darkness had long since fallen, hours passed in the quiet solace of lasagna, lemon bars, and pie.
Dick made to get up and carry the baby bird to bed; Tim however waved him down with a quick mouthing of 'I got him.' With bated breath the eldest watched carefully for any indication that Damian was going to snap Tim's head from his shoulders. It was quite the sight when batty boy junior curled tight into his brother's side and made no fuss about being carried, it would be later agreed on that Damian was not aware enough to figure Tim from Dick and had made the convenient assumption that it had been Grayson to haul him to bed. No one would correct him.
"That kid's a real piece of work Dickie-bird, meant in the nicest way possible of course."
Dick leveled his brother's wolfish gaze with a sudden shock of seriousness. Jason had never seen him look so much like Bruce.
"That kid is the son of Batman and Talia al Ghul. He was raised by ninjas and assassins, beaten within an inch of his life on a regular basis, and then abandoned on the door step of a man he'd never truly met. But he is mine, mine to love and protect and train."
Whistling smoothly from his lounging position Jason arched his eyebrows. "I never said he wasn't, just that smoothing him out might prove a bigger challenge than you're ready for. Trust me if I had any serious beef with the kid he'd be dead already, and you know it."
Dick smiled faintly as he cleared the table in a manner Alfred would be appalled at. He swept the crumbs off onto the smooth tile, leaving the forks behind as there was one more pie to devour before the night was out. "Do I Jay? You've come close with every single one of us, all it would take is one well aimed bullet, one you've never seemed to fire."
"Hey, don't go pushing your luck Goldie, or have you forgotten who wonthe last time we went a couple of rounds?
"From what I can recall I was practically dead on my feet and still managed to hold you at bay."
"Yeah with a stick shoved up my larynx." Jason scoffed as he stuffed a forkful of pie into his mouth.
"Coulda' been your ass. Don't talk with your mouthful, jeez how old are you again?" Dick took a forkful of pie for himself, nearly spewing it out when Jason shoved his entire tongue out with a mangled mash of blue dead upon it.
"Legal."
Orbs of royal blue clashed against green tinged oceans before Dick gave in and took a running start across the marble, skidding on socked feet to the far cabinet. "And you're asking me about my age." Jason huffed from the table. Dick had to dig through two layers of instant broccoli boxes –incentive for Damian not to snoop— before he found the mini fridge, temperature set to just the way Bruce liked his brew despite the fact he rarely drank anything but water and ginger ale.
"Pick your poison." Considering it was a party stash the contents were plentiful. Vodka, tequila, scotch, whiskey, champagne, wine, and beer lined up on the counter like a glass army.
Jason was still mulling over his options when Tim walked back in, eyeing the bottles briefly. "Damian's asleep." Opening another cabinet he watched with slight curiosity as the kid pulled out not two but three shot glasses. Tim reached for the bottle of vodka only to have Jason still his hand.
"I've been gone a long while lil wing but not that long."
Tim glanced at Dick who patted Jason's shoulder with a frayed smile. "He's almost eighteen Jay, and considering the circumstances I don't see the harm in letting him have a little something to drink." From behind his tuft of white hair Jason glanced at Dick doubtfully. "Bruce wouldn't approve of it."
Dick's face hardened, "Bruce is dead."
Silence fell heavily around them and they each seemed to be sizing one another up. With their hair mussed, button downs open over undershirts, sleeves rolled up, slacks wrinkled, and socks bunched around their ankles they didn't seem the children of a billionaire or the charges of a strict Englishman. They all looked devastatingly human and shockingly young.
"He is, isn't he—"
Slowly Jason released Tim's wrist, his and Dick's eyes trained on the steady hand of their younger brother as he filled each glass to the brim with Absolut. Three different shades of blue met, glasses poised.
"Bruce." Bruce, they echoed as they knocked back their glasses.
Dick shuddered; Jason smirked expectantly in Tim's direction as the youngest cringed at the initial burn. "Who woulda' thought, little wing can hold some liquor…stick to the light stuff punk. Upchucking all that pie won't be pleasant."
Making their selections each bird ambled back to the table and propped their feet up because they could. A warmth that had been absent from the manor for a long time radiated out in the form of drunken laughter and slow spinning records.
"I hit him once, the first time I walked away. Yanked off my mask and pulled off my cape before diving off the edge of the building in all my blazing glory. The look on his face was priceless."
"When I was young I caught a really bad cold and he took the night off for me...For once he didn't hog all the blankets but he did eat all the popcorn and he sat through the child loved form of torture known as 'The Incredibles.'
"You should have seen the way his eyes bugged out when I blurted out his real name to prove I actually knew it, even the cowl couldn't hide it."
"The first time I did a quadruple somersault on the school's gymnastics team the judges disqualified me. Bruce said it was because I was just that good, I told him it was because I landed out of bounds. He still bought me my own blue ribbon."
"He and Alfred had to pick me up one day because I broke some idiot's nose in the school yard. Alfie rambled endlessly about how I should leave fighting for the streets, Brucie smiled and asked if I won."
"It was like he was physic, the night after I first met Stephanie he gave me 'the talk.' I swear he turned ten shades of pink when I asked him what a condom was."
"He made half the JLA take me out for my first drink…in costume. No one carded us."
"Blocked off twenty miles of freeway the first time I drove the Batmobile…well he thought it was the first time."
"The first night he left me completely alone in the manor he called every hour on the hour and sent Dinah and Oliver over before nine o'clock even hit. He was home by nine thirty."
"When I was first starting out Harvey Bullock asked if I was a good lay. Bats broke his nose and Gordon split his lip."
"He taught me to play the piano."
"Alfie caught a cold around my birthday, Bruce nearly burned down half the manor trying to make me waffles the morning of."
"He used to let me stand on his toes and he'd dance me around the kitchen while Alfred let the music play." Dick smiled as 'September' by Earth, Wind and Fire started up. "This song was one of our favorites."
"You're shitting me." Jason stared at him, openly awed and cheeks red from laughter. "Alright bird boy on your feet."
The three of them looped and twirled, bumping unworriedly into various items of furniture. They shifted between each other, dancing disco and soul and even a very impressive display of swing considering their state of intoxication. Terribly off key voices sang in broken and missed lyrics, laughter sapping away the pain that had been such a constant presence.
"Hey-" The groggy whisper cut through the music all eyes turning toward the pajama clad ten year old rubbing his eyes sleepily in the doorway.
"Hey Dami," Tim hiccupped with a lopsided smile.
"Has he been poisoned?" Damian demanded, pointing a conviction filled finger toward Tim his questioning gaze aimed at Dick.
"Something like that little D, come here." Dick swept up the half pint and planted him on his socked feet as their impromptu sock hop carried on. A chime echoed through the manor, the music having stopped but voices carrying on.
"In the midnight hour I can feel your power. Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there…" There were two sets of eyes drooping by the end of Jason and Dick's pitchy Madonna tribute, Damian practically limp in Dick's arms and Tim leaning unabashed into the man who so loved to call him a replacement.
"Time to take the birds back to the belfry?" Dick nodded at Jason; the cleanup could wait till morning or well a decent hour of the morning.
Dick piggybacked Tim up the stairs, the other's head lolling limply on his shoulder. Just a few paces ahead of him Jason cradled Damian like a quarterback cradled a football. In an unspoken agreement they turned toward Bruce's room. After a minute or two of Tim's incoherent mumbling and a swift exchange of clothes, the four of them were snug in Bruce's bed.
Dick's breath, bittersweet from wine and whiskey lulled Damian back to sleep, Tim's arm supporting the baby bird's head as Jason added a final line of protection to their brotherly sandwich
None of them would be made aware of the incriminating photo Alfred managed to snap upon his return until it was printed and framed in Bruce's study.
AN: I thought the boys could use a breather, take an edge off things. Not to mention this lovely picture by Eloni http:/browse(dot)deviantart(dot)com/?qh=§ion=&q=sleeping+robins#/d3hp24v was just too nagging of a muse. Too bad Brucie couldn't be there. Love to my lovely reviewers and a beaming brust of hope for future involvement of Jaybird in YJ.