Spike walked up the stairs to their bedroom and collapsed in one of club chairs. Buffy was curled up in their bed, and he couldn't even bring himself to join her, to enjoy the warmth of sharing a bed with her very human body. He had talked with the boy for hours until both their voices ran gruff with fatigue. He hung his head and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. Regrets had never been much of a problem for him, but here he was living with humans, worrying about keeping them alive.

He brought his eyes up to look at her. She was so delicate; her breathing was soft and regular in slumber. She had saved him, given him her last bit of strength. Given him freedom from Angelus and he couldn't do the same. Angelus was hunting them. He felt the shudder run through him. The Slayer slept curled in his bed, secure under his roof. She trusted him. He thought of the richness of her blood, the sweet seduction of her heartbeat, and he knew he was lost. These humans were all under his protection because they belonged to her. He would find a way to protect them or, more likely, die fighting beside her to do so. He flopped back in the chair and stared at the beams above him.

"Mom'll be here tomorrow. Giles and I will pick her up, but it isn't going to be easy to convince her that any of this is necessary. Last time I tried to tell her I wound up in a psychiatric hospital." Buffy sat up and patted the bed next to her. "You need to get some sleep. She's gonna make the rest of us look like no problem at all."

Spike watched her hand rubbing the bed beside her. He craved her warmth, the feel of her soft breath against his cool skin. He thought of the pajama pants he'd worn every night, folded and waiting for him. He thought of what he'd been reliving as he cared for her wolf. He thought about forcing the issue, but shied away from it.

"I need you tonight," he choked out the words. "I want to feel your skin on mine. I want to wrap myself in the warmth of you. Is that okay?"

"Come to bed." She pulled the blankets back and opened her arms.

Spike stripped his clothes from his body and crawled into bed next to her. She wrapped her arms around him rubbing his back in long strokes. He snagged the blankets and pulled them up over their entwined bodies and locked in her body heat. He rested his head on the cotton of her tank top while she ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes against the memories that this night had brought back so strongly.

"He hurt you." Her voice was steady and soft. It wasn't a question. He nodded against her chest. She kissed his head. "You've been so strong for all of us. It's okay to let your guard down here, with me."

Spike shuddered and her arms wrapped around his body as he collapsed against her, his body convulsing with sobs. He felt fingers tighten against his back, pulling him even closer.

"You are a loyal and loving person." Her lips pressed against his ear as she spoke.

"I'm not a person, luv. I'm a monster."

She pushed him down onto the bed and crawled on top of him. Her elbows pressed his shoulders down as she brought her fingers gently to his face. She rubbed his nose with the tip of hers.

"They never gave you real kindness or real love, and you deserve it. You could have killed me and run away. Hell, you could have left me almost dead and they would have still had their fun. You saved me, and not just once. You save me and mine every night." She took a deep breath. "I don't know why you're different, but I see that you are. I see you."

He closed his eyes as her tears began to fall on his face mingling with his own. He gathered her closer to his body as she clutched at him. He pressed his lips to her temple and felt the beat of her pulse under her delicate skin. The warmth of her soaked into him, not the fleeting warmth left after a feeding. No, she warmed him like the sun warmed the living.

"I don't know what I am anymore. I'm a monster and a man, maybe. I never cared about defining myself before, but whatever I am, whatever I'm becoming, I am yours." He pledged himself to her as she wrapped herself around his naked body. Their tears smeared across their faces as they brought their lips together.

Her lips pressed against his, crushing his mouth open. He relaxed in her embrace and welcomed her tongue into his mouth with a playful nip. She gasped and pulled back with a giggle.

"Change." She stared at him with a small grin. "Let me see your demon."

"No, luv. There's no need." He rubbed his thumb across her pouty lip.

"I know I'm doing this with you, all of you. I don't want you to pretend with me. Now, let me see the demon." She ran her fingers up his arms and squeezed her thighs against his torso.

He watched her for a moment. "It's one thing to kiss a man knowing the demon is there. It's another to welcome the demon to your bed. I don't expect that of you. I know you accept me."

She pulled her hands up to her hips and sat staring at him arms akimbo. The silence stretched between them. She cocked her head and smiled at him. "I come to your bed each night and you do nothing to me but keep my nightmares away. Let me take yours away. Show me the demon. Be naked with me." She pulled her tank top off and flung it to the floor.

He grabbed her hands before she could remove anymore. "You don't fight fair, luv." He looked at her and let his demon come to the fore.

"Of course not, I'm the slayer." She ran her fingertips up his chest, trailing her nails along his throat until her eyes and her fingers rested on his face.

He heard her heart rate increase as she stared at him. She traced his changed features gently. Then she leaned down and kissed his forehead. She pushed back up meeting his amber gaze steadily.

"You are beautiful like this, too. I can see it, like a lion or a tiger, maybe. All predator, all mine, you are my Spike no matter what you look like." She dropped her head to his and kissed his fanged mouth, her tongue dipping carefully into his mouth and tracing along his fangs.

He waited for the blood lust to rise, waited for the aggression that usually came with this face to surface, but it didn't. He pushed her back and looked up into her lovely face. She smiled at him and he tilted his head to the side. A deep draw on the air around him flooded his senses with her combined scents. There was no fear, no trace of it. He grinned up at her and shook off his demon face.

"I'm glad you don't mind my other face, Buffy, but tonight I want to be more the man than the monster." He ran his hands along her torso and rested them below her breasts.

Buffy smiled and used her legs to flip them over. She grinned up at him as his body settled between her legs and pushed her shorts up her thighs. Her hair fanned out around her head and he dropped his head and kissed her sweetly before pulling away.

"You're a demon, I'm the slayer. Tonight, you are my man and I am your girl, okay?" She ran her fingers through his hair and he turned his cheek into her hand like a cat.

"You're my girl." He let his body rest atop hers and kissed deeply. The beat of her heart, the catch of her breath became his world. He trailed his lips across her face to her ear. "Mine."

She groaned as his lips slid down her neck. He smiled as her heart rate picked up again but there was still no scent of fear. He licked her neck tracing her frantic pulse with his tongue. She hummed deep in her throat and pressed her body up to his.

He stroked his hands up and down her body, dipping his fingers beneath the elastic of her shorts and then sliding them up to press the undersides of her breasts. He relished her moan of disappointment as he slid his body to the side. His eyes flashed golden as he trailed his tongue along her collarbone.

"Looks like the demon side needs to play, too." She grinned down at him. "I didn't know you could do that."

"What, luv?" He looked up at her and noticed the difference in her appearance.

"You can change just the eyes, I didn't know that vampires could do that." She smiled and touched his face with her fingertips. He turned and sucked her fingers into his mouth for a moment before he let them slide from his mouth.

"I've never done it before, don't quite know how I did."

"Figure it out later, okay?" She smiled and bucked at him with her hips.

"Yes, Min kærlighed." He dropped his mouth to her nipple and swirled his tongue around it, dragging his blunt teeth over it and enjoying the hitch in her jagged breathing each time. He bit it gently and she writhed next to him. He leaned back and watched as she gasped for breath.

"What did you say?" She panted.

"Just a bit of Danish."

"You speak Danish? I thought that was a breakfast food." She rolled toward him bringing her other breast closer to him.

"I speak in a lot of tongues, luv." He dropped his head and flattened his tongue along the skin above her breasts.

"I like that one." She panted.

"Good to know." He swirled his tongue around the other nipple and nibbled at it as he slid his hands down to rest above her shorts. He rested his forehead against her heaving chest letting her frenzy die down a bit. "Meu amor, mere jan, meine liebe, janem, kultaseni, mon amor, habibi."

Buffy erupted in giggles and he slid up and reclaimed her mouth. He slid her shorts and panties down as their lips fused. Buffy wiggled helping him free her of her clothing. He trailed his fingers along her bare hip, drawing circles with his fingertips. He broke their kiss and closed his golden eyes. Several deep breaths later he opened his eyes and met her gaze with his cerulean one.

"You can use those nonsense sounds anytime you want as long as you keep making me feel like this." Buffy smiled and quickly kissed the tip of his nose.

"Sweeting, look at me." He waited until her eyes locked with his once more. "I'm yours. I want to make you happy. I don't want to rush this. If you want to stop, tell me. I promise I'll stop."

"What if you want to stop and I don't want to?"

"Not gonna happen, luv." Spike slid down her body again, spreading kisses as he went. He dipped his tongue into her belly button and smiled at her brief giggle. Her skin was so warm, even slick with sweat she radiated heat. He sighed and rested his head on her stomach. He could smell her arousal; smell her blood pumping furiously through her body. Her fingers played through his hair as they both lay mostly still.

"Spike, I'm scared not to do this. I know I'm young, and I probably seem foolish to you, but I need to know it won't always hurt. I need to break up the scar tissue." He closed his eyes as her words hit him like a freshly carved stake. He was a tool again, a belonging. He tensed and she pressed his head into her stomach lightly. "Let me finish. I need to do this now because I know we might not have a tomorrow. We're in a war. I don't have the luxury of time. I can't take this slow and hold your hand, kiss you goodnight. I can't court and be courted. Women can court right?"

He raised his head and stare into her eyes. "In this day and age."

"You deserve the nonbroken me. I want to give you all of me, but I'm broken so we'll have to put them back together, well, together. Okay?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm a slayer. I'm a woman, a girl. Hell, I don't know. Whatever I am, from here on out it's all for you. I don't have long. Please stay with me for the time I've got. I can't do this without you anymore." Her voice broke and she let her head fall back on the pillow.

Spike slid up her body and stared down into her eyes. "I belonged to Dru for one hundred and twenty years. She never really loved me. I was a pet. In the short time I've been yours, I have found my place, I've remembered the man. I'm loyal and determined. Our time may be shorter than I want. I want forever, but I will settle for what fate allows after I arm-wrestle her a bit. Now, can we put away the maudlin, weepy stuff and get back to the heart racin', body poundin' fun part?"

Buffy surged up into his arms and kissed him all over his face. He gathered her close and bathed in her warmth. He let her body down slowly onto the pillow again and licked her lips. Their eyes met and held. She tried to pull him closer into the cradle of her thighs and he looked down at their bodies.

"I'm gonna do this right. So, stop rushin' me, ya daft bint." He smiled at her and dropped a quick kiss to her lips before sliding down her body once more. She drew a ragged breath as he pressed a kiss to her dark curls.

He felt her tense as he shifted her thighs apart and shushed her protest before it could leave her lips. He smiled knowing he'd be the first to do this for her, the first to taste her. He kissed her inner thigh and traced the pumping draw of her femoral artery with his tongue. Her breathing quickened. The salt of her sweat on his tongue, the scent of her desire in his nose, and the catch in her breath became his world as he played with her. His lips, his tongue, his fingers all swirled as she writhed beneath him, but he didn't touch her center. He waited for the moment and finally her legs spread a bit wider and he dipped his tongue into her.

Buffy jolted, her whole body electrified and centered on his very wicked tongue. She clawed at the bed beside her as he delved deeper into her with his tongue.

"Oh, God, your magic tongue." She breathed out as he applied suction in just the right places.

"Pretty sure he's got nothing to do with it, luv." Spike said as he broke away from her. She moaned at the loss of his precious lips and tongue. "Now, for the really good part."

Spike kissed the pounding pulse in her neck and then he pressed up on his arms, surveying his handiwork. She lay limp, gulping air and he grinned. "You're my personal sun, luv, and I'm gonna make you go super nova."

"I'm your sun?" Buffy said as she sighed. He lowered himself again and nuzzled along her jaw until he could nibble on the delicate lobe of her ear.

"You make me warm," he murmured. "Make me feel, give me that little bit of something that's living and not dying."

He brought his lips to hers and she kissed him voraciously with teeth and tongue. He shared the taste of her womanhood with her and smiled as she licked at his face. He waited until she stopped and lowered his forehead to hers. Her eyes were glassy and big as saucers as he slowly pressed into her. He listened for every gulp and swallow, every hitch in her breath. Pausing when she needed adjust, he held her eyes with his until he was sheathed entirely in her warmth.

He closed his eyes and tossed back his head as he slowly pulled back, relishing the feel of her muscles clenching at him. Her hands found their way to the smooth skin of his back and she caressed him as he set a slow, steady pace. He reveled in her gentle touch. Each little mew, every slide of her legs as she moved added to the pleasure for him. He returned his mouth to hers and lost himself in the essence of her.

Buffy sucked on his tongue and relished the feel of his perfect body under her hands. She rocked her hips to meet his every thrust. Every sensation was magnified as he held his pace. There was some kind of pressure building inside her. She broke her mouth away from his to pant and he chuckled against her ear.

"Evil vampire," she grinned up at him and slid her hands down to his ass. "Are you trying to melt me from the inside?"

"Just enjoying your heat." He locked eyes with her and felt her hands urging him faster. "I'm yours, Buffy. Whatever I am, I am yours."

Their lips fused and he started to take them higher, thrusting faster and harder until she had to break from his mouth to breathe. He watched her thrash and flail, felt her body clasp at him until she arched off the bed following his withdrawing hips with her own. She looked frightened and her hands clenched at him.

'It's okay, luv. Let it happen." He kissed her neck and listened to her delightful cries as she exploded. He grit his teeth and held still deep within her as her body clenched down on his. She moaned and twisted under him, lost in the waves of pleasure. He felt the tremors begin to wane and resumed thrusting, letting himself go.

She screamed as she exploded around him and it triggered his own release. Her arms grabbed him and pulled him down hard, crushing him to her chest. He kissed her temple and licked at her sweat as she squeezed him tighter.

"Shh, luv, relax and let me move a bit, yeah?" He smiled as she loosened her grip and turned her wide shocked eyes to his. He kissed the tip of her nose and thrust in her once more. She closed her eyes and shivered. "Just the aftershocks baby, ride 'em out."

She groaned a low visceral sound and let her body relax. He slid out of her and flipped them over letting her sprawl across him. He felt her lips press against his chest and smiled. Tangling his fingers in her hair, he pulled her up for a gentle and thorough kiss. She kissed him lazily for some time until she broke free of his lips and tucked her head under his chin once more.

"You're mine." She mumbled as he pulled the blankets up over them again. "So happy you're mine."