Please read chapter 7 if you haven't read it already before you read this chapter.
Hope you enjoy.
Bella's POV
My pen was missing. Not again. What is happening to all my stuff? Then I remembered Edward Cullen had borrowed my pen. Was it today? Or was it yesterday? Well I did give him a pen today during English. Then he got some of my pencils as well if I can remember correctly. Come to think of it he has been borrowing a lot of stuff from me. But wait….I still have most of my stuff. Oh this is so confusing. May be he returned them to me. But I don't remember. I was too exhausted to keep worrying about it. I had better things to do. Where was I oh the stupid pen! I went into Charlie's room and got his pen. This would have to do until I can get a new one.
When I returned to my room I found all three pens I thought had gone missing on my table along with the pencils. This is strange. Well never mind. I went and returned Charlie's pen and got back to work. I had so much to do. I hadn't scrubbed the floor in the kitchen for two whole days. It was more than 24 hours since I vacuumed the living room. I should also cook something for dinner. Charlie would be here in another two hours. Keeping my self occupied was the key to survival. I was sorry that I couldn't go to the reservation today because of all the home work. But I was going to spend the whole day there on Saturday and Sunday.
There was no news of Victoria. Jake told me she had not returned since the day I went cliff diving.
Saturday was a glorious day but it was cloudy as usual. I was so happy to finally ride my bike again. The wind in my hair and the speed were all exhilarating. I loved every minute of it. I met Edward Cullen at the boarder. I was happy to take him on a ride. After all he was the one who made me a speed junkie. I knew something was wrong with Cullen the moment I turned into the dirt road. He was shaking throughout the ride. Then he stammered. I have never seen a vampire stammer. Well except for Emmett and his jokes. Was he afraid of the ride? I didn't think so. He loved speed and he knew for sure that there was no danger of an accident with him riding the bike with me. Then he fell off the bike! Edward Cullen actually lost his grip and fell off! He let out a scream like no other when he fell. It was a mix between exhilaration and something else I couldn't put my finger on. I couldn't believe it.
The shock in his face and the subsequent embarrassment was not faked as he buried his face in his hands. I knew him well enough to know that this emotion was real. Something in his eyes was also off. I was sure they were golden when he got on the bike. But when I looked at him after he fell down they were black smoldering orbs. I had never seen that depth of intensity in them and there was a hunger that I couldn't comprehend. He also looked lost and out of his element which was a first for Cullen. I felt some deep emotion within me as if some how we were connected.
For the first time since I've known him, Edward Cullen looked vulnerable. A feeling of protectiveness came over me. I automatically held him to me to provide him with comfort. He took a deep calming breath and then to my utter amazement started shaking again and started moaning. I have never heard him make that sound before. An electric jolt went through me when he jerked against me grabbing hold of me while he let out another one of those incredible sounds. It was some how unearthly. I shivered. He had never looked so beautiful..as at that moment. His eyes and face….his lips partly open moaning out my name I couldn't tell whether it was in pain or pleasure. It was some how unreal. It was like a helpless plea. I held him close worried about him.
His next actions were equally mysterious. I offered to call Alice but he refused with vigor. Although I was worried I was also scared at the intensity of his refusal. He was hiding something. Then after a while he got up and said he wanted to drive the bike. That I could understand; most guys loved to have actual control of the bike but I was sure this was not why Cullen wanted to drive.
I was sure he enjoyed riding in the back. He had actually moaned aloud! And I knew it was one of pleasure. My hunch was confirmed that it was not speed prompting him to drive when he started going very slowly. I had never seen him drive so slowly. In fact I had never driven that slowly after the first week of getting used to the bike. This was getting ridiculous. Then he suddenly stopped. I slammed into his back and he shook against me, letting out another one of those sounds. This was getting weird.
The final mystery was the huge stain on his trouser. I saw it when I bent to pick up the stick he wanted. I then knew that the whole stick thing was an attempt to keep me from noticing it. Had he peed in his pants? But vampires don't pee. Then to top it all he was insinuating that something was wrong with the engine! That was a really big lie. I have a fairly good understanding of engines thanks to Jake.
I have watched him repair our bikes and then his car during the countless number of hours I spent with him in the garage. I was more like his apprentice now and I helped him with the repairs. He built most of the stuff from scratch so my understanding of the workings inside was not superficial but very practical. I knew for sure the bike was in perfect working condition; I had checked it myself that morning. But I pretended to believe him. Whatever it was I was sure it was very important to Edward Cullen that I didn't notice that stain. Yes. Something was definitely wrong with him. I thought of talking to Alice about it but decided against it. He had flatly refused my first offer and after all it was none of my business. He had his whole family to take care of him if something was wrong. I only had Charlie and Renee and I have caused them so much distress over me already.
I was not going to let anything interfere with my goal of making them happy. My only focus now was to get a full scholarship to one of the best colleges in the states. I knew Charlie and Renee didn't have enough money to sponsor me, although Charlie had been insisting that I should use his retirement fund for my education. I will not do that to him. I will make sure I get the scholarship and take care of him when he no longer can. That was my plan and I was almost there.
I was making good progress with my grades and now I had a great wardrobe for college. Alice had made sure that my closet was colour coordinated so that I didn't need to bother matching stuff. This was a relief. I hate having to focus on superficial things like cloths when I had more important things to do like study. I would also need to look presentable when I go for interviews for admission and while attending college. I was aware that my fashion sense was not that winning. However, I made sure that I made the final decisions on what I got. She wanted me to buy several mini skirts and I refused them. They were not my style and I will never let anyone have the power to decide on my future again. That includes my wardrobe selections. As long as Alice stuck to the ones that I approved I was fine with her selections. But I didn't allow her to go overboard. I had paid for all my purchases. I had enough money saved from working at Newton's.
I have started to think with my head and locked away my emotions. They had brought me enough trouble in the past and almost destroyed me. So I was never again going to get emotionally involved in things. I could tell I had done a good job of it too. I was very good at blocking things out of my mind and locking away unhappy memories. I no longer felt anything much about what was happening around me. I completely ignored things that I knew might get an emotional response from me. I will never allow myself to be dependent on another person for my happiness ever again.