A/N: Hello again! Wow, I didn't expect this chapter to get so popular so fast. Even the reviews aren't so much but a lot of people are reading this story so I'm happy. Also from the reviews I received, it has come to my attention that Itachi acting like a super uke is really weird. Good thing he's an emotionless doll, huh? Anyway, don't worry. I plan to have him play uke for now and then later, he'll play seme. I've noticed a few times that a lot of ItaSasu fans like Itachi as the seme more than him as the uke. I'm just having the two of them play both roles in this story.

Well then, I do NOT OWN any of the Naruto characters, nor do I own the story. If I did, Itachi would be alive and Sasuke would be sane. He's making me worried sick over him. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it's totally random and a bit sick but I was trying to make this funny. Enjoy!

Ch. 2: The Social Room

As soon as Kisame entered the social room of the base, which resembles that of a school's teacher's lounge with a kitchen area in the corner and several tables all around the room, he greets with a loud boom from the door being wacked into the wall and yells, "We're home!"

"The hell, Kisame!" Deidara, the blond hunter yells from on top of the table. "Must you always slam that door into the wall? You've already broken three this month, un."

Kisame asks back, "Must I always see you and your partner getting it on, on top of the table every time we come back?" What he means is Deidara lying on top of a table with his shirt acting as the table's tablecloth as his red hair partner, Sasori is on top of him without a shirt and his pants open. "There is a reason why I don't eat on that table."

Sasori's hand gently brushes against Deidara's cheek, grasping back his attention. "If you don't like it, then don't watch." Then he hungrily kisses Deidara's lips and he instantly reacts, returning the affection and completely forgetting Kisame.

"Very hard to ignore," he mumbles, even though he knows that at this point they could care less of what he has to say about where they have sex and who's watching.

Not too far from them on a different table is another pair of hunters, one with silver hair and pinkish/purple eyes and another with mud brown skin, green eyes, and a mask over his head and face. Hidan looks as bored as hell and Kakuzu is counting the money from an open suitcase besides him. On the table next to them are two more hunters, completely ignoring those around them by playing cards. One looks like a Venus Fly Trap with a black and white half as the other has his face completely covered by an orange, swirly fan. From the looks of it, Tobi and Zetsu are equal opponents. Not one of them looks like they're beating the other.

"Where's Itachi?" Zetsu's white half asks. Okay, maybe they're not completely oblivious to what's around them.

Glad to be off that embarrassing issue, Kisame answers, "He went to report to Leader and his lover. He told me that I could go and relax while he takes care of the boring stuff. But I think, I should have gone with him."

Deidara pulls away from Sasori's playful lips for a bit to say, "Hey, don't blame us that you haven't gotten laid in a while, shark man!" Sasori soon found Deidara's throat and shoulder more interesting as Deidara became unaffected by Kisame's dagger glare. "Maybe you should start doing what Itachi does if you're going to complain so much, un." Hearing the 'getting laid' bit and combining that with Itachi made Hidan suddenly remember something.

"Hey, don't remember our deal, Deidara! Two hundred I can fuck the bitch!" he announces to the room. That was when Zetsu and Tobi temporary stop their card game to watch and listen.

"And five hundred you can't! Un!"

Looking away from his counted money, Kakazu turns to his partner to ask, "Hidan, what did I tell you about making reckless bets?"

But like always, Hidan looks over confident with himself. "This time I'm sure I can take Itachi's virginity right off his hands." Espeically when it comes to his sexuality.

"I highly doubt it," Kisame quickly disagrees. "He wouldn't even let the vampires we have to dispose of get as far as he lets the rest of us go."

This time, Sasori takes a break from his lover's skin to ask, "You two did or he did?" He too received a glare from Kisame for that.

Then Deidara asks, "Hey, Kisame. How far did he go this time, un?"

It only made Kisame feeling more insulted. "I don't have cameras in his rooms!"

"What did it sound like, Kisame-senpai?" Tobi asks. Apparently, everyone knows that Kisame listens in when sex is being made. He thinks it's sickening to watch, but it's enjoyable to listen to. Especially when it comes to the sex that Itachi pretends to have with his victims.

But besides him, this just proves that almost everyone in the Akatasuki are curious if the only virgin in their organization finally had his time. Sick, twisted bastards…

Since now the whole gang is looking at him with curiosity, Kisame does feel a bit of disappointment that these people would think of him so poorly but he lets out a sigh and decides to tell them. "Hmm…Well Itachi-san was pulling off the prostitute act so there was some teasing making out, with tongue. That I saw. There were some moans here and there and from the time it took for Itachi to get out of the room after twisting the vampire's heart, I would say that he allowed the vampire to pull his pants off. So he was half naked and he got a vampire tongue bath. I say, he got a bit farther with this one."

Hearing that causes Hidan to slap the table as if his point was just proven. "Ya see? Itachi is just begging for someone to ravish him! And I'm the lucky son of a bitch to do it." Which he thinks it has.

"As Deidara said, Hidan. Not likely."

"Don't you have anything else to talk about, Kisame?"

Hearing his voice suddenly behind him, Kisame nearly jumps out of his own body when he looks over his shoulder to see his lifeless doll for a partner stand right behind him with semi-wet hair to indicate he took a recent bath and staring at him with deep onyx, blank eyes. Some members, like Deidara, Hidan, and Tobi are surprise that Itachi is suddenly hear as Kakuzu, Sasori, and Zetsu are not. This is usually normal.

"Itachi-san!" Kisame yelps.

"It's bad enough I already think of you as a horny partner. Want it to change to lazy, peeping, horny pervert?" Itachi asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. It only made Kisame freak out and tense up even more.

Sasori asks, "As being the eldest member of the organization, don't you know that he's already like that?"

"Yes, but I was allowing the fact that he is a good hunter to hide that fact. It appears to me now that I can't." The tears that Kisame shed to show how sorry he was to disappoint Itachi are very visible on his dye blue face.

"Hey, Itachi." All of a sudden, Hidan is right besides Itachi and his hand is on his shoulders. He then starts leading him out of the social room to back outside. "Come here. There is something I want to show you."

"You're not going to show me the size of your arouse penis, again are you?"

"Just come."

As soon as the door closed, there was a moment of silence and a moment of disapproval from the other members. Then everyone in the social room lift up their hands and started doing a count up from one to five. When it hit to five, they pointed to the door and right on cue, they started to hear Itachi's sudden gasps and pleasurable moans as well as Hidan's victorious growls.

"That's right, Itachi. The innocent, gentle act always turns me on."

"Hi..Hidan…"

Then the group started doing the count down from five to one. As soon as it hit zero, they pointed to the door again and…nothing.

"Holy motherfucker!"

Except Hidan's screams.

"No way!" Kisame and Deidara scream. Of course, Deidara ended up pushing Sasori off when they heard that and thought the unthinkable happened. So while Sasori had his moment of disappointment and started fixing his pants while looking for the rest of his clothing, Deidara is staring at the door in disbelief with Kisame and their mouths wide open. But they spoke too soon.

Soon, all of them hear a punch and something crashing into a nearby wall. Moments later, the door opens and Itachi enters, looking just as emotionless as he always is while straightening his shirt which is no longer tucked into his pants. Not too far away from the door, actually down the long hallway, is Hidan with swirly eyes and his pants is pulled all the way down to his ankles. As Itachi makes his way to the kitchen area of the social room, which is in the left corner of the room, Deidara and Kisame look at Itachi with major disbelief, a bit of disapproval, and a tiny hint of disgust. Kakuzu, after letting out a troubledsome sigh, gets up and walks over to his unconscious partner.

Deidara asks, "Did he…?"

"No," he answers. Oh that was a relief for their nerves and now Hidan owns Deidara five hundred dollars. Itachi approaches the refrigerator and opens it to look for a certain object. But when he tried to look for it, he couldn't find it. Or he did, but only empty cases of it. "Sasori."

After putting on the rest of his clothing and tossing Deidara his shirt, by throwing it at his head, Sasori answers, "The new batch is in the freezer. It's about done. I just didn't take it out to defrost." By then, Kakuzu carried Hidan back to their table, his pants on and he was slowly starting to come back to consciousness.

Itachi heads for the freezer on top of the refrigerator and asks, "Because you were busy?"

"Yes, I was." 'And because you it was cut short.'

Itachi looks for his desired object and sees a six pack vial case. From what he can see, the liquid inside is frozen solid. He takes it out and takes out one of the six vials. As he puts the other five in the open refrigerator, he grasps his chosen vial and tries to defrost it with his hand. Something like that would take a long time to defrost, especially when he likes it warm. But that didn't happen. As soon as the similar vials were in the frig, Itachi looks at the vial in his hand and concentrated on it. Soon, his hand starts to glow a small tint of red and the vial's contents went from frozen solid to warm, thick liquid. His hand stop glowing and he pops open the vial. He then swigs it down as if it were a shot of whiskey. Once consumed, he took a moment to let his medicine take its toll on his body.

"Ah, that's better," he breathes. Everyone watched him as if it were hit show. They would always do this. They would stop what they were doing just so that they could watch Itachi take his medicine that Sasori specifically made for him. Many got used to it, but Hidan, especially now when he's not in a good mood, didn't get used to it.

"Look, slut. We all know that if it weren't for Leader and Sasori's crazy shitty formulas, you would still be a Jashin damn suckhead. But sometimes, it's hard to believe that you ARE human with a beating heart when you have to take a damn serum every now and then to stay a fuckin human. Not to mention that you still have some of your damn powers from when you were a suckhead."

The attention went to Hidan instantly. Normally, he wouldn't say anything but they could all tell that he didn't like what Itachi really was; an irresistible, beautiful, blood-thirsty monster. This was probably going to come about sooner or later, but not when he's all pissed off.

"H-Hold on, Hidan senpai!" Tobi tries to say, hoping to stop the tension that was starting to grow. "We're all family here! Let's not fi-"

"What are you implying, Hidan?" Itachi interrupts. Tobi sighed loudly when he could see that he was being ignored, again, and he allowed the fight to continue when Hidan outburst again.

"What I'm implying, shit face, is how can you be human when you have to take some fuckin medicine for humanism?"

This time, it became a death glare contest between Hidan and Itachi. Though of course if Itachi really wanted to, he would have Hidan begging on the floor for forgiveness. He wouldn't allow his arrogant hunting partner scoop that low but for allowing his emotions to take over after he knocked him into next week was unacceptable. He's very tempted to do just that. Zetsu, being the spy of the group and having the sharper eye, sees that.

The white side tries to say, "L-Look, Itachi. Don't mind, Hidan. He's just angry that you rejected him."

"Again," the black side of Zetsu added, finally speaking.

That made Hidan angry. "You don't have to say it like that, asshole!"

Seeing the Venus fly trap looking human trying to break the ice between them, Itachi lets out a sigh and decides to let it slide, for now. "I know and I've gone weary of his annoying questions and fast assumptions. I'm going to bed since I had to work, but Deidara, may I ask if I can sleep in your room on the clean mattress that you and Sasori don't use?"

Confused but can't deny a good comrade, Deidara answers, "Ah sure, I don't mind, un. But what's wrong with yours?"

"I need a new one. It reeks of sex, Kisame, Hidan, and Sasori." He wasn't going to let it slide.

When he said that, he said it calmly with a straight face as he walks over to the sink to clean out the vial for Sasori to use again later. But after hearing that answer, the three names he mentioned tensed up and shivered like caught, frightened cats. They had every right to be scared. All they needed to do was take one look at Deidara and they could see the fiery flames of jealousy and anger growing off of him.

"Uh? A three-some?" he asks, exploding. As those three begin to cower under his anger, the rest decide to go back to what they were doing, now the tension being disposed of and for the lovers to have their quarrel.

"Deidara, it wasn't like that," Sasori tries to explain.

Then to make it worst, once he was done cleaning up the vial, Itachi adds, "Actually, I believe it was Kisame and Hidan, Kisame and Sasori, and recently, Sasori and Hidan. Why can't you three do it on your own bed? What's so special about mine?"

If he had any emotions at all, he might either be annoyed with the fact that his bed is violated or he might find entertainment in seeing how Deidara's flames soon turns into a lightening storm. He was able to unleash a monster that strikes fear and absolute terror in the hearts of his comrades. Hidan and Kisame are cuddled together in fear as Sasori tries to calm down his love on his own, his body obviously shaking.

"Deidara, c-calm down…"

But he didn't. Instead of slapping him or knocking his lights out, Deidara stomps his way to Itachi and grabs his arm to pull him away from the social room and everyone in it.

"Come on, Itachi! I'm tired too! It's just you and me tonight! It's about time you stop acting like the uke and start acting like a seme!"

"If I rejected Hidan, how are you any different?"

"I wasn't asking for that! A make-out session is fine and I can pay you for your services. Hidan owns me five fricken hundred dollars for our dept!"

"Keep it. I'm not a prostitute."

"You act like one."

Now getting irrited with how Deidara is behaving, Sasori yells, "Deidara! Come back here!"

So was that okay or was it too unrealistic? I hope you guys understand what I was trying to do here. Let me know, kay? Well, till next time! See ya!