"I believe Warbler Blaine had something he'd like to tell us?" Wes said from the counsel table.
Blaine grimaced as he stood. He was only given the news yesterday, but he knew he had to tell them immediately, because it would mess up their plans for regionals…
"Well, urm… I'm moving." He blurted, not letting his eyes drift to where Kurt was sitting, but making eye contact with every other Warbler.
"WHAT!" David shouted from beside Wes. "Where?"
"England." Blaine said, blinking.
He wanted to look at Kurt. He wanted to see what his reaction was.
Was he upset? Angry? Happy? Excited? Torn? Surprised?
"When?" Nick spoke now. He, like everyone else Blaine had made eye contact with, look like he was about to cry.
"In exactly a month." Blaine said in a monotone.
"But that's ONE WEEK before regionals!"
"I know." Blaine muttered, frowning. He bent his head and looked down at the floor, blinking rapidly. "This is why I'm leaving the Warblers today." He turned and started to walk out. He didn't want to hear the protest because he knew he couldn't do anything about it.
So he ignored them.
After about a week of straight up ignoring all his friends, he finally let spoke to them. He listened to them.
Just short gossip and them saying how sad they are about him leaving. But Wes and David were the worst on this subject. They never stopped complaining and they both had a look their eyes like they knew something he didn't.
The only one he didn't speak to was Kurt.
He just couldn't find the courage to face him.
Blaine spent days and nights searching. Just searching. He needs that perfect song. A goodbye? One to tell him he felt? He wasn't sure.
It was one week before he was due to leave when he found it. And he still hadn't had any contact with Kurt. But he needed to sing this.
He chose the day before he had to leave to sing it.
And he stood, in the middle of the stage in the auditorium, waiting for Kurt to show up.
Then his voice, from the top of the rows of seats.
"I got your text. Are you okay?"
His voice was soft, gentle. He was sounded sad…
"Yeah. Can you, urm, just sit in the middle. I want to sing you something…"
Blaine couldn't see but Kurt nodded. He skirted his way down the steps and through the seats until he was sitting directly in the middle, staring down at Blaine.
"Firstly, this is going to sound weird, but every word is true. Okay?"
"Uh… Y-Yeah." He sounded nervous, but Blaine didn't want to dwell on that.
He motioned to someone offstage to start the music, and they did that, before heading off, wanting to give them some alone time.
Blaine was nervous, but he stared straight at Kurt's spot as he begun to sing.
"I shouldn't love you, but I want to. I just can't turn away. I shouldn't see you, but I can't move. I just can't look away."
He didn't move his eyes off Kurt. Sure he couldn't see the boys' facial expression, which was possibly a good thing, but he meant what he was singing…
"And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not. 'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop."
He had been so depressed these past four weeks, and that was just from ignoring Kurt because he knew he wouldn't see him again after this. But he wasn't sure how he was supposed to get over the perfect guy…
"Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me, and I can't help it. I won't sit around; I can't let him win now. Thought you should know, I've tried my best to let go of you, but I don't want to. I just gotta say it all before I go. Just so you know."
He had tried to forget Kurt. By pushing him away. Even if it only made him long for the other boy more.
And he needed Kurt to know this before he left.
Forever.
"It's getting hard to, be around you; there's so much I can't say. Do you want me to hide the feelings? And just look away?"
He had been pushing Kurt away; avoiding him like the plague.
He was asking Kurt now if this was okay. Okay to sing out his feelings. Or should he just stop and leave now?
"And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not. And I don't know how to make a feeling stop. Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me, and I can't help it. I won't sit around; I can't let him win now. Thought you should know, I've tried my best to let go of you, but I don't want to. I just gotta say it all before I go. Just so you know."
He needed Kurt to know this. Now more than ever.
It felt like his life depended on him knowing…
"This emptiness is killing me-"
The emptiness that only Kurt could fill…
"And I'm wondering why I've waited so long."
He's always known that he was slightly intoxicated with Kurt. From the moment they met.
"Looking back I realize; it was always there, just never spoken. I'm waiting here… been waiting here…"
He sung the chorus a few more times until the music stopped, and he was breathing out heavily, finally looking down at his feet.
"Blaine…"
Kurt sounded shocked, still sad…
Was this a bad idea?
The second he thought that, Blaine panicked.
He ran. He ran from the auditorium, finally letting a few tears fall.
He didn't look back.
.
Were you guys expecting this to be happy?
Seriously though, it's like impossible for me not to write angst.
The song was Just So You Know by Jesse McCartney. Which was the inspiration for the fic.
Let me know what you think! :D
Have fun waiting for the last chapter!
Less than three! XX