Nanao breathed a sigh of relief as they rode into the Higurashi compound three days later. The rest of the meeting had gone off without a hitch and the Yamaguchi brothers had never raised a threat. Another "kumicho" for the Higurashi would be chosen soon and her brother would slide back into a safer position, which made Nanao more than happy. She was saddle weary and dusty from the road and wanted nothing more than to pick up Boo and take a warm shower before settling in for the night. Hopefully Rangiku wouldn't want to spend too much time chatting.
She made sure her horse was seen to before making hasty goodbyes and shunpoing back to the Seireitei. The trip had been useful and given her an inside look into workings of the Yakuza, but she would have been more than happy to have the trip be a few days shorter. Nanao knocked on Rangiku's door and hoped she was home. When there was no response she sent her reiatsu searching for her and found Matsumoto out in the 1st district. Nanao pressed her reiatsu against the other woman's in a friendly touch to let her know she'd returned and then headed on to her apartment. Boo would survive a few more hours at Ran's.
Nanao had managed to drop her things and take a nice shower before she heard what she could only assume was Rangiku pounding on her door. She'd kept her reiatsu shielded besides reaching out to her friend because she'd really just wanted one extra day before dealing with everything else.
"Coming," she called as she wrapped her robe up tighter and made her way to the door. It was good to be home.
"Nanao-chan," Rangiku grinned, "Welcome home."
"Thanks," Nanao said accepting the carrier and various items, quickly releasing Boo into the apartment. He instantly curled around her legs and she scooped him up to cuddle. "Thank you for looking after him, Rangiku. It was really very nice of you. Hopefully he didn't cause to much trouble?"
"No problem at all," the woman said following her into the apartment.
Nanao took in Rangiku's appearance and raised an eyebrow. "Hot date tonight?"
"You like?" Rangiku asked twirling to give her the full view. The light blue dress clung in all the right ways, not that there was really a wrong way on Matsumoto.
"You look amazing," Nanao agreed smiling and curling up on the couch with Boo. "Who's the lucky man?"
"No man," Rangiku answered grinning and then quickly had it turn into a frown. "Don't tell me your forgot?"
"Forgot what?" Nanao asked, too tired to play a guessing game.
"The SWA dance, silly," Rangiku said rolling her eyes. "We've only been planning it for months."
"Oh," Nanao said surprised. "Once Hana-san took over most of the planning, it just sort of went out of my head. Is that tonight?"
"Yes its tonight, and why aren't you dressed yet?"
"Ugh, no way I'm going," Nanao said shaking her head. "I didn't want to do it in the first place and now I'm exhausted from traveling. You'll have to tell me all about it tomorrow." Not to mention she had no interest in attending a party at the Kyouraku estates. She should have known Rangiku would never let it go that easily.
"So you'd rather stay here and discuss the night of your birthday then?" Rangiku asked innocently taking a seat next to her on the couch.
Nanao's head snapped up to meet Rangiku's eyes and saw that some of the playfulness had gone out of her. "He told you."
"No, but he was looking for you and it wasn't that hard to put two and two together," Rangiku sighed. "Why'd you do it?"
"It wasn't really a rational thought, Ran," Nanao answered letting her head fall back along the couch. "It just happened. He was being sweet, it was a dismal birthday, and I missed him."
"So are you planning on telling Shuuhei-kun? Because if you don't I will. He's my friend too, you know."
"I'm going to tell him," Nanao said frowning. "I didn't mean for it to happen."
"No time like the present," Rangiku said. "So get dressed."
Nanao groaned. "I do not want to go to the stupid dance," she said as Rangiku started hauling her to her feet.
"Well I do want you to, and after all the crap you've put me in the middle of I get what I want," Rangiku said simply. "No more hiding. Deal with your mess so we can get back to having fun and I don't have to keep wondering what kind of person my friend is becoming."
"I don't have a dress," Nanao protested as Rangiku pulled her into the bedroom.
"What about that?" Rangiku asked pointing at the red dress she'd worn for the festival and lain out on the bed as she was unpacking her bag.
"I can't wear that," Nanao argued horrified. It was one thing wearing that dress when she didn't know anyone well, but it was quite another showing that much skin in the company of people she'd known since she was a little kid. Nanao also always favored more muted colors when she did have to dress up. It drew less attention.
"Oh come on, it's perfect," Ran said picking it up. "In fact, I'm shocked you own it. What did you do during your trip?"
"There was a masquerade," Nanao said sharply. "And they made me go." She pulled the fabric out of Matsumoto's hands and headed towards the bathroom. Nanao knew a losing battle when she entered it, and fighting with Rangiku over this particular point was going to get her nowhere. "I hate you," she called over her shoulder just for good measure.
Nanao felt her stomach start to jump as they came closer to the Kyouraku family home. The place was lit up and the sounds of the dance already moved through the warm night air. This was pretty much the last place she wanted to be, and she was including Hueco Mundo in that thought.
"Cheer up," Rangiku said happily at her side. "It could be worse."
"How?" Nanao asked watching her feet as they picked their way down the path in heels. She'd tried to put on flats, but Rangiku hadn't allowed it.
"Well, you could have been dating Kenpachi and then slept with Kyouraku," Rangiku offered. "It'd have been a blood bath. Although who's blood I'm not sure. At least Hisagi-kun isn't likely to try and kill anyone."
"Great," Nanao said with a snort as they made it to the front entrance. The Kyourakus stood at the door greeting guests as they came in and Nanao felt her heart beat overtime when she made eye contact with Shunsui. Of course he'd feel her reiatsu right away.
"Nanao-san and Matsumoto-san, yes?" his mother welcomed uncertainly. Nanao pulled away from Shunsui's hurt gaze and gave his mother a slight bow.
"Good evening Kyouraku-dono," Nanao greeted as Rangiku nodded an affirmative.
"Lovely to see you, Nanao-san," Hana said kindly. "We weren't sure if you'd make it tonight."
"Yes, well Rangiku-san does make sure I get out now and again," Nanao said with a forced smile.
"What a pretty dress," Kiyoko chimed in and Nanao fought the urge to growl as she noticed the petite woman at Shunsui's side. "Is it Apulian? It looks it."
"Actually yes," Nanao answered. "I was just there on business."
"Oh! Were you there for all the festivities?" Kiyoko asked her eyes lighting up. "Isn't the city just wonderful? I keep trying to convince Shunsui-san that he should visit with me."
"Yes, you really should visit, Kyouraku-san," Nanao agreed scathingly never looking away from Kiyoko. "But just remember to always watch your drink. I heard terrible rumors while I was there."
"What sort of rumors?" Kiyoko asked looking as innocent as ever. Not even a flinch. Either the girl was a good liar or she truly had no idea what Nanao was referencing.
"Just that certain people would take advantage of you given the opportunity," Nanao said neutrally glancing over at Shunsui. He was scrutinizing her trying to get at her meaning and she gave a soft shrug.
"That's awful," Kiyoko said looking shocked. "You must have been talking to the wrong sort of people. Apulia is a wonderful place. Next time you visit I shall have to show you around."
"I think I saw everything I needed to see," Nanao said in a clipped tone. "I believe we're holding up the line." The Kyouraku's glanced at the group of guest starting to amass behind the two women and quickly ran through the rest of their greetings ushering them inside.
As she swept passed them a firm hand grasped her arm. "What was that all about?" Shunsui asked quietly.
"Maybe something, maybe nothing," Nanao said glancing at the pregnant woman as she greeted a couple coming up to the door. "You have guests to attend to."
"You promised we'd talk after work," Shunsui said with a bitter edge to the tone.
"And we will," she sighed, "But now is not the time."
"Before this night is over," he said.
"Fine, now let me go," she answered. He did as she asked and she slipped back in behind Rangiku.
"See, that wasn't so bad," Rangiku said. Nanao just rolled her eyes. "What was the stuff about watching your drink?"
"Just generally good advice," Nanao said evasively. Luckily they'd both entered the garden by this point and Rangiku was at a loss for words. Nanao remembered the first time she'd seen their gardens done up for a party and knew the feeling. Say what you would about Kyouraku Hana, the woman had an eye for decorating.
"It's beautiful," Rangiku said happily.
"Now what?" Nanao asked already bored. She hated these things to begin with and when they'd planned it she'd at least been comforted with the thought that she'd have Shunsui with her and wouldn't have to spend the night standing around the drinks table like she had so often before.
"Now, obviously, we find good looking men and dance," Rangiku said happily going into full party mode.
"Joy," Nanao grumbled remembering her most recent experience with dancing. She hated parties. She lost track of Rangiku in a record 5 minutes and found herself hovering near the drinks table as usual.
Nanao was quickly doing calculations of when she could sneak out of the dance without anyone being the wiser when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She felt her stomach drop as she turned slowly dreading finding Hisagi or Shunsui behind her.
"Ambassador Ise," Kuchiki greeted politely. "How was your mission?"
"Kuchiki Tachio," she answered with a polite half bow. "It went well enough, although I missed our training sessions."
"Good." He gave her a brief nod and then asked, "Care to dance?"
"Oh," Nanao said startled. "I'm not very good."
"I have my doubts that you could be in the 8th for as long as you were and not know how," Kuchiki said lightly.
"I know how," Nanao corrected. Kuchiki was of course correct. Her Taicho had even forced her to work dancing lessons into the division's budget sporadically over the years by arguing it would help with their sword fighting footwork, but that didn't mean she'd enjoyed it. Dancing with Shunsui was one thing. Dancing with clumsy recruits was quite another and most of her time had been spent trying to help soldiers pass their classes. "I just don't often participate if I can help it."
"I promise I won't step on your toes," Kuchiki said solemnly and it actually pulled a small laugh out of her. "And I am assuming you are one of the few females here who won't step on mine in return."
"If you insist," Nanao said with a small smile before taking his hand and following him out on to the dance floor. Kuchiki was as graceful on the dance floor as he was on the battlefield, and Nanao had to expend very little energy to follow along. She could hear the whispers starting up around them, but as Kuchiki paid it no heed she let it pass.
"I must admit I am surprised you attended," Kuchiki said conversationally.
"Matsumoto-san insisted," Nanao admitted. "It would also look bad if the vice-president of the SWA didn't attend her own events," she added as an afterthought.
"Rukia-san made it quite clear I would not be easily forgiven if I did not at the very least make an appearance," Kuchiki commented spinning her out and then back into him.
"How long does an appearance generally last?" Nanao asked with a small snort.
"Two or three dances," he replied seriously. "You are number one."
"Ah," Nanao said hardly able to hide her smile at the man's precise formula. It wasn't like she hadn't used something similar over the years with 8th division parties. "And who are the other two lucky ladies who will leave without their feet being stepped on?"
"Hana-san," Kuchiki answered after a pause. "After all it would be rude not to ask the host to a dance, and perhaps my sister, although her dancing skills do leave something to be desired."
Nanao glanced over at Rukia who was currently being swung around the dance floor by Abari and grinned. Neither seemed to know what they were doing, but they were having a lot of fun all the same. "The Kyouraku's invited many of the nobility. Wouldn't one of those ladies love a chance to dance with you?"
"I have found over the years that many of those ladies presume a dance means something more," Kuchiki said with a soft shrug as he maneuvered them away from another couple. "It is not worth the time and energy it takes to persuade them otherwise. I'd rather have Rukia-san break one or two of my toes."
"You should let Rukia-san have her fun," Nanao chastised. "Why not ask Unohana Taicho to dance? I'm sure she's very graceful and won't get the wrong idea."
"Perhaps you are right," Kuchiki said glancing over at his kid sister again. "Although it does waste a perfectly good opportunity to once again remind Abari he will never be a man worthy of a Kuchiki."
"Oh, let them have tonight," Nanao said. "I'm sure Abari will screw things up all on his own. Men can generally be counted on for that."
"You wound me," he said gravely as he sent her into another twirl.
"I did say generally," she answered with a shrug.
"I would say women are equally prone to failure," he countered.
"Fine then," Nanao said thinking over her own recent failings. "One of them is sure to screw it up, with or without your intervention."
"Unfortunately Rukia-san has a very forgiving heart," he replied.
"Then let her become a fukutaicho and she'll simply have no time for romance, at least for a while," Nanao said.
"Still on that, I see," he said stonily.
"She'd do well at the 8th if you can't allow the 13th," Nanao said simply. She saw the small frown appear on Kuchiki's face and she quickly added, "I know you have very little tolerance for Kyouraku Taicho, but I'm sure there is one thing we can agree on. He is protective of his subordinates to a fault. She'd mainly be buried under paperwork and I don't think even Kyouraku Taicho is dumb enough to flirt with your baby sister too aggressively. It takes a special kind of stupid to do that."
"And if she were promoted, Ukitake-san would no longer have reason to resist having a fukutaicho, I believe is what you are thinking," he said as the song started to come to an end. "Manipulation does not work well on me."
"I admit to all of the above," Nanao said smiling softly. "No manipulation just simple truths. If we are being blunt, it'd really just be best if you let Ukitake-san promote her."
"You are still protecting them despite everything," he said calmly.
"Yes," she said as they came to a stop with the song. "Despite certain failings they are good men, just as I like to imagine I would be forgiven some of my own mistakes."
"He does not deserve you," Kuchiki said simply.
"I am less than you think I am," Nanao said sadly, starting to fully internalize how far she'd fallen from grace. Relationships did make everything messier. Maybe she'd been right secluding herself all those years.
"Thank you for the dance Ambassador Ise," he said politely.
"No, thank you," she said returning his bow. "I wish you luck in your next two dances."
Kuchiki nodded and swept off the dance floor leaving Nanao to pick her way back to the drinks table while whispers followed at her back. Let them think what they wanted. No wonder the poor man had never remarried. Being the center of attention was terrible.
"Nanao-chan," she heard the warm voice before the arms wrapped around her waist, "I wasn't sure you would come, and now by coming late I see I've missed the first dance with you. I'm so sorry."
She tensed up in Hisagi's arms and wondered how she had forgotten the horrors this night was going to bring. "Hisagi-san," she greeted formally working her way subtly out of his arms. "I just returned and Rangiku-san of course made me come."
"Well, I'm happy that she did," he said grinning at her and breaking her heart a little further. "I've missed you."
Nanao wondered if she would have missed him had the night of her birthday not happened. She didn't think she really would have which was a miserable thing to admit to herself. Her only thoughts of him had been worried guilty ones over the last week. He leaned in for a kiss and she grabbed his hand and turned away. "We should talk."
"That's never good," he said letting the joviality drop out of his tone.
"Come on, well go to the gardens. They really are lovely this time of year," Nanao said dropping even his hand. She felt awful, but she wasn't sure of another way to do this. She'd never had to tell someone she'd cheated on them before, and she didn't know a better way than just getting it over with quickly.
"Nanao, what's this about?" he asked when they were barely away from the party.
She'd picked a path that lead to the bridge and the small pond she'd discovered so long ago as a child. The one she'd first met Seichii on. Kami, when had so much of her history become a part of the Kyouraku family's history? "Hisagi-san," she started and then paused. "You are such a nice guy."
"Oh man, what'd I do wrong?" he asked with a sigh.
"No, that's not what I meant," she tried again.
"This is the start of the old 'it's not you it's me speech' isn't it?" Hisagi asked. "Meanwhile that always means it is actually you."
"It isn't," she said shaking her head fiercely.
"Was I too needy or something?" Hisagi asked visibly upset.
"No, Hisagi-san," Nanao argued. "It really wasn't you."
"Or you thought I drank too much?" he asked and then seemed to think about it. "Well, I guess that one couldn't be it."
"I slept with Shunsui-san," she blurted out and it felt terrible and wonderful to say all at once.
"Obviously, you guys were together for a long time," Hisagi said confused and then looked enlightened. "If you think I thought you're a virgin, I -"
"No," she interrupted. "I slept with Shunsui on my birthday. I left the bar, and he was at my apartment, and we didn't mean for it to happen, but it just, it just did."
Hisagi was silent for a moment as he processed the new information. "Oh," he said finally. Nanao stood waiting for some other response and got nothing but the sound of the party carried on the wind for a few moments. "It was never anything more than a rebound for you was it?"
"Hisagi-san, I didn't mean for it to be," Nanao admitted quietly. "You really are a wonderful guy and it was all my fault. I just, I've never been through something like that before and I wasn't thinking straight."
"So you didn't think it might be wise if you, I don't know, broke up with me before you went back to him?" Hisagi asked the anger rising in his tone.
"It wasn't a planned out thing," Nanao said. "It was an accident and I'm not going back to him, but I didn't want to lie to you or say there weren't still feelings there."
"Great, thanks, much appreciated," he said sarcastically turning to go.
She caught his arm and he shrugged her hand off but didn't storm away. "I know it doesn't mean much, but I really am sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I'd really like to be friends one day."
Hisagi let out a small disbelieving laugh. "I think we both have enough friends Ise-san. Enjoy the dance." Then he marched stiffly away.
She couldn't say she blamed him really, but it still hurt. And what right did she have to be hurting anyway? She was the one that had messed it all up. He should hate her. Kami, all she wanted to do was go home and not come out for a good long time. Instead she walked the rest of the way to the bridge and stood in the middle looking out over the water wishing she could go back and warn her younger self of all the things she would screw up in the future.
"Hisagi-san did not look happy," commented the last voice she wanted to hear right now.
"Well I doubt you'd be dancing with joy if your girlfriend just told you she'd slept with another man," Nanao replied coldly.
"You could have just broken up with him," Kyouraku said stepping on to the bridge. "I wouldn't have told him."
"I'm not a liar," she said sharply. "I made a mistake. I'm not going to skirt around it."
"A mistake," he said stopping next to her. "Is that what it was?"
"Yes, Shunsui," she said confidently. "It was a mistake. What were we thinking? Nothing has changed."
"Then why break up with the boy at all?" he demanded.
"I couldn't very well not tell him anything," Nanao said sharply.
"Did you even ask him to forgive you? Try to work it out?"
Nanao sighed. "No."
"Nanao, I'm asking you to forgive me then," he said quietly. "I'm sorry what happened happened, even if I don't remember it, but the woman means nothing to me. I'm sorry there is a child, but I swear if you'll only let me I'll make you happy and the child is innocent."
The little speech reminded Nanao of her own newly gained information. "About that," she started awkwardly. "I ran into Yadomaru-san in Apulia."
He looked confused by the sudden change of topic, but never one to be thrown for long simply frowned and said, "How is Lisa-chan?"
"Well enough," Nanao said shrugging and trying not to show how upset the woman had made her.
"What'd she do?" he asked narrowing his eyes. Of course, he would notice.
Nanao sighed again and answered, "She wasn't the most pleasant person I've ever run into. Was she always that way and I just didn't notice?"
"What'd she do?" he asked again.
"She was just rather rude and aggressive," Nanao said trying to explain without telling the whole story.
"I was worried she'd not be kind if you two met again," he admitted with a groan.
"And why was that?" Nanao asked surprised. "What did I do to piss her off?"
"It wasn't anything you did," he sighed. "She was rather irked at the way everything had turned out with you when she was here after the Winter War. Said I'd ruined you with too much kindness. I believe she thought you should be further along on the power scale than you were and she especially didn't care for my interest in you. I don't think you turned out the way she expected."
"You didn't ruin me," Nanao defended. "I'd have been tougher if she'd remained in the 8th, that's true, but I don't know that I would have appreciated her brand of tough love."
"What exactly did she do?"
"It doesn't matter," Nanao said not wanting to start yet another long conversation. "Nothing that will damage me for life. She is however occasionally taking jobs from the local yakuza which has made her privy to the local gossip."
"Does this have to do with what you were saying earlier at the gate?"
Nanao nodded and continued, "Apparently the Hayashi family has quite the family history. Fell into a bit of financial trouble and the way the brothers in the family fixed their fortune was by slipping drugs in noble women's drinks and raping them in the hopes they'd get pregnant. Then if they did, allowing society norms to do the work for them. The girls were forced to marry the brothers to maintain their family's honor and their fortunes came along with them. Latest rumor has it the youngest sister in the family just pulled the same stunt on a foreigner who didn't know to watch his drink around the family."
She felt his reiatsu crackle like lightning and she put a hand on his arm to stop him from marching back to the party. "Of course this is all hearsay."
"Except that it explains everything," he growled. "Why I don't remember, why I would even do that. I knew I didn't drink that much. I've had several hundred years to learn my limits."
"Just because it's the convenient answer does not make it the truth," she admonished. "Beyond that we don't know if Kiyoko-san had anything to do with it. For all we know it could have been her brother's manipulating her too. Drugging you and then suggesting she go check on you, all the while knowing their little sister was in love with you."
"Does it matter?" he asked. "Either way it wasn't by my choice."
"And either way the child is still yours," Nanao sighed. "Are you just going to send them away if you find out its true? I don't think you have that in you to do to the baby."
"So what if I don't?" he asked incredulously. "Are you trying to say you can't forgive me, can't be with me if I still see fit to care for the child?"
"Shunsui," she started and then stopped. She wasn't sure how to go about the conversation they had to have. "You've never lied to me, joked, avoided, and told half truths yes, but never flat out lied about something big. If you say you don't remember then the only thing I can believe is that you were drugged like the rumors say and it wasn't your fault. In which case there is nothing to forgive."
He reached for her and she put up a hand to stop him. "This isn't about Kiyoko-san anymore. I don't care that there's a baby. Its just about you and me." She paused and tried to think of a better way to say what she was about to say. "I can't be with you."
"Why not?" he asked looking more amused than angry. She'd seen that look before, the one that said he'd already won, that they could argue about it for as long as they like, but in the end he'd convince her to see things his way.
"Because I don't want to be," she said and that wiped the smile right off his face.
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked. "The only reason we weren't together was Kiyoko-san."
"Yes at the start," Nanao admitted.
"But something changed?" he asked looking upset now. "What? You fell for someone else?"
"No," Nanao said hating that she couldn't articulate what she was feeling. "Nothing like that. It was just me, I changed."
"I like Nanao-chan no matter what," he said smiling again and touching her cheek. "I doubt you changed enough for that to be altered."
Nanao sighed, this was going to take another tactic, "Then if that's true, ok," she said and was pulled into him before she could blink. His warm lips coaxing hers into reciprocating. She wasn't going to lie. It wasn't likes she didn't enjoy being in his embrace and kissing him. She did, she loved it, it made her want to give into anything he desired, and that was the problem. He could turn her into a pet without even meaning to. "Now what?" she asked when he stopped for air.
"I have a few ideas," he said with a grin.
"And then what, Shunsui?" she asked calmly ignoring the innuendo. "How do you see our lives going?"
He laughed and said, "You want a plan? How about this then, we wait till the party is over and then we have a long talk with my family and Kiyoko-san. I'll support her and the child if that's what it takes, but she's moving out. Then we pick up where we left off."
"So I'll move in," Nanao said and watched his grin of delight. "And then we'll get married. And I'll come back to the 8th and be your fukutaicho again, and we'll have children and live happily ever after?"
"Exactly," he said touching his forehead to hers.
"I don't want it, Shunsui," she said quietly and he pulled back like he'd been pinched.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want that life anymore," she said unable to meet his eyes. "I don't want to go backwards. I don't want to be your fukutaicho. I love my new job."
"Then you'll keep the new one," he said with a shrug, "I don't care."
"And you'll be fine when I go on missions you can't come on, when I get in dangerous situations you can't save me from, when I spend time in place you can't locate me in," she said softly.
"Sure," he answered quickly.
"Shunsui, I'm serious," she said slipping completely from his arms.
"Whatever Nanao-chan wants," he answered smiling.
"I know you better than that," she sighed. "You're just thinking you'll agree now and figure it out later to get it the way you want things. You'll either convince me to come back to the 8th or simply go to the Soutaicho and make it an order, or if you really want to humor me you'll just have the Soutaicho put restrictions on my current job that will keep me safe. I'm tired of doing paperwork, Shunsui, and I'm tired of hiding behind you."
"Nanao," he started but she cut him off.
"We both know how this will work. And I'm sorry it has to be this way, but it does. I've been in your care since I was a kid and its time for me to grow up. I can't do it with you constantly holding my hand. I thought I could, but all of this has made me realize I can't. I've got to figure this part of me out on my own Shunsui. I love you, I do, but I just have to be without you looking over my shoulder. I've missed you since all this happened. I missed our friendship and I missed what we had, but I haven't missed your overprotectiveness or sitting in an office making schedule changes. I don't miss always being one step behind you. If I'm going to be with you I want to stand at your side not at your back."
"We'll work it out," he said seriously. "I'll try harder."
"No," she said simply. "You won't be able to help yourself until you believe I'm really capable of handling myself, and you won't be able to believe that until I know it. And that's been it all along, hasn't it? I've got to prove it to myself first."
"I know you're capable, but that doesn't mean there aren't things out there that are stronger than you. That could do you harm. You can't blame me for trying to protect you from that."
"I don't," she said. "We could go around in circles about this all night, but it will still be the same. I don't want to be in a relationship with you right now."
"So what now? I'm supposed to stand back and watch you get beat up and date half the Seireitei?" he demanded. "That's supposed to make things better between us."
"You know me better than that," she seethed. "I won't make that mistake again, hurting Hisagi-san was more than enough, but if I did want to get into melee fights and sleep with the entire population of the Seireitei then yes, I expect you to back off. You don't own me, Shunsui and if that's what you are looking for out of a relationship you might as well just stay with Kiyoko-san. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to play your damsel in distress."
"That isn't," he started to argue.
"You had hundreds of years," she said quietly cutting him off. "Hundreds of years to figure out who you are without me. I've had barely any time to do the same."
"I like who I am with you better," he said seriously meeting her eyes.
She gave him a weak smile. "Don't you want to give me the time I need to come to the same conclusion?"
He moved forward and kissed her and she responded in kind, for once not just giving in, but instead indulging in it knowing it would probably be the last time in a very long time that she'd be able to. When they broke apart they were both silent for a long moment.
"I think this is the wrong choice," he said sighing.
"I know you do," she answered, "But it's my choice, not yours. And besides, you have plenty to work out without having to deal with me too. I should go."
"Nanao-chan," he said softly. "I can't promise you I'll leave you alone."
"You wouldn't be you if you could," she said touching his cheek.
"I love you," he stated simply. She kissed him one last time and told him goodbye before shunpoing away and over the garden wall. There was nothing left to say and no longer any reason for her to stay. Landing neatly on the other side she decided to walk. Maybe it would at least let her get some of her jumbled thoughts together.
She knew she'd done what was right, what was necessary, but it still didn't make her feel much better about the whole situation. She couldn't help wondering if Kiyoko had never come if she would have woken up one day in the future and wondered what had become of her life, or if she never would have noticed anything amiss and been happy to just be. However it could have been, it didn't change how it was now.
Maybe if she hadn't been so caught up in her own thoughts she would have heard them coming and been able to do something about it, but then again they were fast and quiet in their own right. Nanao felt two sharp radiating spots of pain as the creature's jaws sank into the juncture between her throat and shoulder, and then everything went dark.
A/N: Sorry for the delay! I've been interviewing for new jobs and life has been hectic. Seems like some people hated Lisa and some people liked her. I just always felt like she wouldn't be happy with Nanao being seemingly weaker than the other fukutaichos or being held back in the Winter War. She always struck me as a tough love kind of woman. Anyway as always I love hearing your thoughts!