Lost little Souls

Chapter 5

Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift

This chapter has a lot of flashbacks and inner thoughts. However, some of inner thoughts are a bit ambiguous. Can you guess who's inner thoughts goes with which character. Here is a little hint. One of them you haven't met yet and the other you only heard about!

Bilbo awoke with a start. The night had been a very traumatic one. Many dwarves had come to see little Ori. He had seen Dori try his best to keep it together. But at points, failed. No one could fault him. If anyone did, they would soon find themselves at the other end to Bilbo's fist.

He felt a pull to make, as Hamfast had called it, rounds. Make sure that everyone is where they should be. Everyone was safe and sound. Quiet, even for a hobbit, he first made his way to the living room. Sprawled out on one of the couches, he found both Bofur and Nori. The two curled up together trying to keep the other sane. It seemed that Bofur had been playing a crucial role in keeping Dori semi sane. According to Nori, Bofur would watch Ori at night when Dori would find extra work. Other times, he would just come over to visit and help Dori with whatever he might need. It never seemed to bother Bofur. He seemed to really like the little guy.

Slowly, his feet glided across the wooden floor boards making his way towards the guest bedroom where Ori was staying. Cracking the door open only a sliver, he could see Dori leaning on the bed near his brother. He wanted to enter the room to investigate but did not want to disturb either of the brothers. They needed their rest.

Finally, he made his way to his true destination. Frodo's room.

It was always quiet in his home. Always lonely. He knew that he could go out and mingle with others, but he just couldn't. He hated the looks that he always got.

He had started to receive them at a young age. After all, what tween would stay alone in a smial all by themselves? If he had to be honest with everyone, it was not for a lack of places to go. Both the Tooks and Brandybucks would have loved to have him there, but it was more for spite that he would not leave. He would not let the Sackville -Baggins take Bag End. Never. This was his home. The home his father built just for his mother. He was not going to give it to anyone who only saw money. But that was years ago before he had reached maturity. Still the looks continued.

Maybe that's why he stayed inside. Even though it was quiet. Sure, he would talk to Hamfast and those two had started something of a friendship. Bell, would come over insisting that he take better care of himself. But those two were busy as they should be with four little one and from what Hamfast was saying, they might try for another in the near future.

Lucky. While Bilbo might be higher in social standing, he would give it all away just to have someone there with him. Perhaps he should visit his cousins with their little one.

I like it here. I really do. Since I've come to live here, I made a best friend. He's more than my best friend. He is my other half. That is what people say about people that they are so close with that if they were apart, they might not be ok. He really is my other half. Whenever I see him I smile, even if it just on the inside. He understands things even if he doesn't always say so. Uncle says he plays stupid. That he doesn't want others to think he is really that smart. But he really is. I wish he would see it. I wish others would see it too. My cousins know that he is smart but it's just us.

Most people think that we should not be together. That we are too different. But we have more in common than they think. We both like to learn and read. We both dream about adventure and like to pretend that one day the two of us will go on this grand adventure. It would be just him and me against everything! My cousins can come too, but it would really be just about us.

I hope people see how special he is. He's my best friend.

Thorin had forced as many as he could into the local inns before he would even think about resting. He did mean "force". Gloin had put up quiet a fight but only relented when Thorin skillfully brought up Gimli's wellbeing. The lad had not spent a night with a roof over his head in quite a while.

Still, even with some of his people safe and sound under sturdy roofs, he could not rest. The events from the past few days and especially tonight had left him with a feeling of restlessness. As bone wary as he was, his body could not be still. He had to make sure everyone was safe.

Dragging himself up from where he sat, he first had to see his little nephews. He worried about both of them. Kili had come home crying while Fili looked like a shell of his usual in high spirited self. Thorin knew the reason and it broke his heart. His nephews had become very close with little Ori. Someone who, if the mountain had not fallen, they might never have met. But someone who would most likely not been as in such a dire predicament.

They looked peaceful enough sleeping under the stars, one curled up against the other. Fili holding Kili tight against his chest as if he were afraid to lose him as they slept. Taking a moment, he sat down beside them watching them sleep. They were so close. Closer than Thorin had been withFegrin, which was a shock. As different as those two were they had completed each other very well.

The sound of swords and axes crashing raged on as the gruesome battle continued. It seemed like there would be no end to it. But there had to be. There just had to be. They lost their home. They were not going to lose this battle. He would win this for this people. They needed something to hope for.

But it seemed like the orcs had a different idea. The pale orc only wanted everyone dead. Thorin had no doubt that losing the battle would mean losing every soul that had gone in with them. He couldn't let that happen. Looking around he noticed that Fegrin was no longer with him. He had told Fegrin to stay close! He had to find him! He had to find his baby brother. He had promised their mother on her death bed that he would look after his younger siblings. Nothing bad would happen to them.

"Fegrin!" He shouted. It was hopeless. The person next to him could barely hear him. What chance did Fegrin have then?

Maneuvering carefully, still fighting, he scanned to field for the familiar golden hair had he had known for most of is life. All he could see was the war raging on.

He barely had time to dodge an arrow as he continued to search. From the corner of his eye he could Dwalin and another dwarf with a boar spear trying to fight another wave that seemed to have targeted the prince. It was clear as he heard the metal clash and the swishing sound of flesh being pierced that they would not give up. It was moments like this that he was proud of his people.

In the distance, he sees it! The flash of gold he had been searching for. "Fegrin !" Thorin cries. The sound of his own voice is eclipsed by the sounds of the turbulent onslaught of orcs.

Hacking and slashing, he fought his way to his younger brother. He had to stay with him. He couldn't leave him. Thorin's eye widen as he saw the sword of an orc slash across Fegrin's chest causing a sprit of crimson.

No. This couldn't be happening. This was all just a bad dream. Fegrin was not just struck. Fegrin was not falling to ground. It was all a dream. A terrible nightmare. It had to be.

But it wasn't. Thorin didn't know where the stealth came from as he was able to avoid detection from any of the foes but he didn't care. He had to be at his brother's side. No matter what.

Falling to his knees, Thorin clutched his baby brother's body to his chest. He could still hear him breathing. Maybe there was a chance that he could be saved. Maybe he could get him to Oin or another healer. They still might be able to save him.

Over the roar around him, he heard a soft voice call to him. "Brother."

Looking down at his brother, Thorin tried to hold back his tears. "Fegrin ."

"I'm scared. Please don't leave me."

Fegrin, the dwarf who thought nothing of riding a mining crate down a mining shaft. Fegrin, the dwarf who looked forward to being out numbered in a fight. Fegrin, the dwarf who clamed that nothing could make him back down, was scared. He knew he was dying. He just didn't want to die alone.

Thorin nodded his head. The weak smile was the last thing his brother gave him. Thorin would treasure it always. "I promise I will never leave you." He couldn't hold back the tears anymore as they rained down on Fegrin's cooling face.

It was a nightmare. It just had to be. But his nightmare only got worse. When he lifted his head from his dead brother, he saw the white orc with his grandfather's head.

I know why he lied to me. Well, he didn't lie to me. He just didn't tell me. He is always trying to protect me. Even Uncles says so. I don't like being thought of as weak. I am not weak! One day I will be a great warrior, just like our uncle. But he says I need to calm down first. That my temper will get me trouble. My temper! What does he mean my temper! Brother has the same temper if not worse. Our cousin teases my brother and says he is uncle's heir in name and temperament. Whatever that means… But I know why he protects me.

I'm his baby brother and I don't think that he will ever stop protecting me. Balin says that if you are a baby brother, you are a baby brother for life! No matter how hard you try to prove yourself, you will still be your older brother's baby brother. But it is kind of funny when I see Balin try to take care of Dwalin… Once he scolded him for not eating enough! I guess if even a strong and brave warrior like Dwalin has to put up with being the baby, I guess I can too.

I don't know what I would do without my brother. He is always there for me. Either to get into trouble with or to get out of trouble. We go together like a sword and its sheath. That's what one of our cousin's says. We always have. If I lost him, I think I would be lost too.

I wonder if Dori and Nori will be lost. Balin says that losing a baby brother or any sibling is worse than losing your arm. The pain in your arm will eventually stop hurting but the pain in your heart will never go away completely. He says that people who have suffered that lose can become cold and lose their ability to see the light in the world. I don't get it. How can someone not see the light when the sun is out?

I think he might have been talking about Uncle. I learned that we had another Uncle. Uncle and Mom's younger brother. He was the baby of the three. Once I asked Balin what Uncle was like before our other Uncle died? I never knew that Uncle used to laugh a lot or even smile. We almost never see him have a true smile. Sometimes it is a tiny one. But not like Mister Bofur's or Gloin's. I can't even remember the last time I heard him laugh…But when his baby brother died, part of him died as well. Losing our mother was the final nail in his coffin as Balin would say.

As it turns out, we are what keeps him going, although sometime I think he would be better without us. We are always getting into trouble and we are too curious for our own good.

I once heard Balin say that Uncle was sad when I was born. Something about he couldn't give me anything. But I don't want anything. I just need my family. That's it! I hope he knows that.

As Gloin looked down at his sleeping child, he couldn't help but feel a bit of treason rise in his heart. Half of his heart wanted to give this room to another much weaker than his strong family. The other wanted to take everything to insure his child's safety and happiness. Either way, he was a traitor. But the moment of conflict was over. They were in the room safe and sound. He just hoped the others would be the same come morning light.

I'd lie if I said that I was not jealous of my cousins. They are always together and they go together like a sword and sheath. At least that's what my father says. He is right. I would like to have someone like that. But I don't think that is ever going to happen. I don't think I will have any siblings and as much as I like my cousins, I just…I don't know. I feel alone. Like I'm not like them. I know that we all like to go on adventures but the same can be boring.

Dad thinks that I am moody because we have moved so much. But that's not it. I want more. I want someone who is not just like me. Someone different but at the same time like me.

My Uncle says that people are like weapons. They can either help you or hurt you. If I was a weapon, I think I would an axe. One day, I will have a great big axe just like my dad. But I don't want to be surrounded by axes. I think a bow would be nice. Something different. We could be different but still be in the same armory. I know I'm weird. My family doesn't understand. But that it what I want. For someone to understand!

Hamfast stared blankly across the table at the empty chair. His heart pained at its emptiness. Inside himself, there was nothing. He supposed it was better than the pain that had originally dominated his every waking moment, but he wasn't too sure. He wasn't sure about too much anymore. Only that he missed her with all his soul. He would give anything to have her back, even his own life.

She probably wouldn't be sitting here like this if she were in the same spot. He mused. Bell had always been so strong. Much stronger than he was. But that strength didn't stop her from going. It has happened to others from time to time. Hamfast knew that. But he didn't think it would happen to her. To them.

He wanted to join her. Sometimes, he would think about it more than he should. He knew it would be selfish. It wouldn't be fair to May and Hamson, to leave them with their little brothers and sisters. Especially since Marigold was so young…

Marigold… her name meant something to Bell. A ray of hope and light. That was what she had become to him. What all of his children had become to him. He wasn't sure it was fair to put so much on ones so young. But if he didn't, if he didn't think about them, put them first, he knew his despair would swallow him whole.

For them he would live.

Quietly, he made his way around the silent home, making sure all of his children were tucked in and warm from the night.

How long has she been gone? It seems like only yesterday she was here making everyone smile. But now she is gone. I miss her so much. I know everyone does. We all try to make it work but there is only so much we can do. We try to smile, especially the girls but still there is a hole in all of out hearts.

Bad thoughts have been coming into my mind about Goldie. First, she came and then Mom when away. It wasn't her fault. I know that. But what if someone starts to say it was. What if someone tries to hurt her? I can't let that happen. We won't let it happen. We will protect her from everyone! I will have to be brave enough to protect her. But will my heart be as strong? Will I be strong enough?

Mom told me I had to be brave, that I have to be a good big brother. But how can I? How can I live and protect her? How can I keep it together? I can't let Mister Frodo know. This is my burden. Not his.

Am I far enough away? I hope so. I don't want anyone to find me. If someone finds me, I will have to go back. I can't go back. I just can't. I would rather die here then go back. Father, why did you send me there? Do you hate me? Did I do something wrong? If I did then I am sorry. But please, please don't have anyone find me! I don't want to go back to that bad place again! Let me just stay here if you don't want me. Just don't make me go back!

I really am worthless, aren't I? I can't seem to do anything right. I can't explain what needs to be done. I can't remember everything from my studies. I can't act right. I can't say what needs to be said. But most importantly, I can't protect him. I promised I would but I can't. There really is nothing I can do other than hold him and tell him how much he means. Maybe one day I can, but not now. Not for a while either. Till then please stay strong. You need to stay strong and so do I. But I don't think I can… My heart hurts so much!

I like being here. It's nice and warm. I know in the morning I will have to go back. I don't want to. I just want to stay here with him, but I know I can't. He would keep me here too and try to protect me. But he can't. No one can. Still it is nice to know that someone cares. It helps the pain even when the pain stops me from leaving my home. One day the pain will stop.

His soft brown eyes opened only to find darkness. It must still be night. He thought as he wished to go back to sleep. He had been having a wonderful dream. There were all these people there and everyone was so nice to him. But then someone, a dwarf with golden hair, came up to and said he needed to go back home. Home? Did he even have a home? Not for a long time. That's way they kept moving. The other only laughed when that was what he said. The response from the other was a saying he had heard his older brother say many times before. Home is where the heart is.

It really had been a wonderful but weird dream. Sadly, it was starting to fade from his memory but the feeling of the all the warmth and happiness remained. Speaking of warmth, he could still feel his brother near him. The warmth emanating off of his larger body made Ori want to curl up next to him. He was glad not to be alone. He never liked the dark. He couldn't read in the dark.

But now a more pressing issue had a risen. He was thirsty. Not just a little thirsty but really, really thirst. He didn't want to wake his brother. His brother hadn't been getting much sleep lately and he knew how important sleep was. His brother was always telling him that he should get more sleep.

However, he really did need that water and he felt kind of gross. It might have something to do with why his sheets were so wet. It looked like he had been sweating an awful lot. Feeling a little bit guilty, he shook his oldest brother's shoulder. "Brother, can I please have some water?"

The song for the next chapter is called "Heaven's Eyes". It is from the Prince of Egypt movie.