ECISLove2010, elaine6, Rbeccap, traceybuie and shannoninn369 thank you very much for your reviews. I'm worried that this story is becoming too long but I have so much to say on the dating game that Bella and Edward are going to play! So I've been working on a follow-up story to this one continuing with the same story line but more focused on their dates. It's going to be fun with these two and with a lot more lemons. So my next chapter would hopefully be the last in this story. I will immediately put out the sequel so no worries. But I need some feedback on what you would expect so that I get a rough idea on whether I'm on the correct path. So please do review this story if you haven't already so that I can get a feel on what you like most. If you can name the chapters you liked best in this story it would be really helpful.

EPOV

What had I done? Bella was crying her heart out. I had made her cry. My sweet Bella… I had let the loathsome monster in me take over and give into my desire to kiss her. Had I hurt her? She was so fragile. In my hurry to kiss her I was not sure whether I had had full control of my strength. I was more focused on making my escape and the pleasure of kissing Bella that I had thought of very little else. Angela's thought's only showed Bella sitting on the bench seemingly in a daze she didn't look physically hurt. But I was sure that Bella would never disclose to anyone about any bruises if they had been caused by me. She would definitely down play them.

I was feeling so ashamed of my conduct. I had invaded my Bella's privacy. She must have thought I was the worst type of pervert in existence. I'd barged in unannounced to a girl's locker room….no less. God! Although I had known no one else was in there with Bella, she had not known that. Did she think I made a habit of doing that? With my speed it would have been possible for me to do that without anyone knowing. No Bella wouldn't think that badly of me….not my Bella. I'm sure she knows that I only wanted her. That brings me to the present situation. I had just barged in there. Although I'd timed it exactly to make sure she didn't have time to start undressing she might think I wanted to see her in some state of undress. She was sobbing uncontrollably. I had violated her trust in me….. Oh god what must she think of me? I rested my head on my hands on the steering wheel.

I'd also given into my urge and slightly brushed over the side of her breast. I had done this without her permission. We were dating but we had not discussed our boundaries. Come to think of it I had not even taken my Bella on a single date yet! And I'd launched myself onto her like some depraved monster seeking pleasure from her without even making a proper emotional connection with her first. She was not even sure she loved me. Then why did she drag me in to the broom closet? …. She must have wanted to punish me for using Jasper. I'd gone too far with that too. I was revolted at my memory of how I had pushed myself into her to get more closer to her….. I had even made sure we got caught.

Had Jessica made fun of her for that? I had not been consciously listening to Jessica's thoughts so she may have done something during gym. I had only got to the gymnasium after my class finished. I had only listened into the very last part of the session. I already knew people were teasing Bella about something. I had only heard part of Tayler's comment of Bella hitting so hard on the coach? Was it a comment aimed at my Bella implying that she was hitting on everyone she could get her hands on? But she had not shown any interest in anyone but me. Had my Bella become the school loose girl just for her indiscretion with me? I knew all about how high school kids relentlessly bulling students they didn't like. To the best of my knowledge only Jessica and Lauren had tried to insult Bella in some manner but the boys had always been more interested in winning her affections. Was the discovery that she had supposedly been intimate with me bring about a round of jealously which made them behave so unpleasantly towards Bella?

She must have been already upset with all the teasing and then I took advantage of her while she was so vulnerable ….. it must have been unbearable for her. I hope Alice will be able to talk to her and at least get Bella to talk to me before she decides she doesn't want anything to do with me. I will have to find the courage to let her go if she doesn't want me anymore. I felt my heart break into a million pieces at the thought. I.. I will have to some how win my Bella back. I am not going to let a bunch of high school kids bully my Bella. If they think that just because Jasper and Emmett are not there they can have an upper hand against me they can think again. I think in a situation like this Alice would definitely help me. I knew I should try to read the minds of the kids storming through the car park but I had promised Bella her privacy and I was going to grant her that. If I open my mind now I was sure to find Alice since I am so attuned to her. I was too much of a wreck to have much control over my ability to isolate some thoughts from others like I usually do. So I have just blocked off everyone from my mind.

BPOV

I felt like a fool for my crying bout. But my emotions were all over the place. I had not let myself feel for such a long time that it seems like a whole dam had broken and the water was just rushing out uncontrollably. I was feeling relieved that I spoke with Alice since she had a very rational and practical answer to my fears. But I knew at some point in our relationship I will have to bring up this concern with Edward. But now was not the time. I knew that for sure. I would simply frighten Edward even more. These past few days had enabled me to see a side of Edward that he had kept hidden from me for a long time. Although it frightened me I was also glad that he opened up so much to me. I knew the slightest indication of unwillingness on my part would halt any progress we made. Something like the stupid concerns I had would add a new worry to Edward's endless list of worries. He had been down playing the blood lust but I knew it was still there. He had told me many times that his strength was a big concern as well. He might just decide to leave me again….. I won't survive another rejection. I knew that I had used up all the strength I had in me to survive these past couple of months. Edward had now broken through some of my barriers and I knew I was not strong enough to live through another rejection.

I had to talk to him. Provide him with a believable explanation without giving exact details so that he doesn't worry.

"Alice I need to talk to Edward."

"Yes, Bella that would be for the best. I know you wanted advice from me as your friend but this is something you and Edward should work out together. I promise you that none of the things you talked to me about will ever reach my brother's ears through me."

"Can you tell him to meet me just outside Charlie's near the path to the forest when I get home?"

"Ok. I'll tell him. We can give you a lift you know."

"It's ok. Charlie's coming to pick me."

I was not going to have him in my room again tonight to discuss this. Somehow the atmosphere there seemed too intimate. I remembered all the times I spent with him in my room and I had never felt this way. I guess it was because of the change in our relationship. Those days I had known for sure there was no possibility of us being intimate even though we cuddled together at night. Now I knew that there was a very real possibility of it and until I was comfortable with all this I was not going to take the risk.

The other problem was my desire for him. I knew that if we were in closed confines again we were sure to end up in each others arms if what happened in the closet was any indication. I couldn't believe my thoughts at the time. I had actually wanted to get better friction by climbing onto something to align certain parts of my body more intimately against him. I blushed at the thought. I was glad I had not had time for it. There was no telling what I would do to him if I caught him alone…. Was meeting him in the forest a bad idea? Although we would be out in the open we would still be alone. Charlie would have gone back to the station by then. So the forest…I remembered the lush greenery surrounding the pathway…the total isolation till you spotted Charlie's backyard.

It was romantic in a way. I had dreamed of making love to Edward on the forest floor…... with the birds singing around us, sunlight streaming through the trees… making his naked body gleam….he would look like a Greek Adonis and I would….Oh my god…the forest is definitely out. At this rate I might do something to him in the class room or even in front of Charlie at home….. I've really lost control of myself. Where do I meet Edward? I knew a phone call would never reassure him. I will have to meet him face to face and let me read the truth in my body language. From what Alice had told me he's back on his guilt trip about everything and I knew putting this off would only give him more time to think about it and blame himself even more. What do I do now? I didn't want to be alone with him and I did want to talk to him privately and it has to be done as soon as possible. Alice was just about to walk ahead of me.

"Alice wait I changed my mind."

"What do you mean? I really think you should talk to him Bella."

"No. No. I do want to talk to him it's just that I'm worried about meeting him near the woods. Will it be ok if I spoke to him in the car park?"

"Sure Bella. I'm sure he'll be ok with it. Do you want me to stay away?"

"If you don't mind." Now I was feeling bad. But what I wanted to discuss with Edward was private.

"Sure Bella. I'll just go to the library. He's still in the car."

"Thank you Alice for understanding."

I turned and gave her a hug. Now I had to find the courage to talk to him. Both of us had been on an emotional roller coaster ride today… I was feeling very embarrassed at the way I had behaved in the closet…..the way I'd bitten him.. I wanted so much to do it again….. what am I thinking? Oh god! Will he bring that up? I hoped not…. And I sincerely hoped that the two of us could manage to keep our hands off each other during the discussion. I was counting on the fact that we were in a public car park to deter us…..