"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. My hobbies are… Uh…"
"Crap!" Kakashi thought. "He didn't get any free time as an ANBU. The only thing he did often enough to count as a hobby is killing missing nins, and I doubt he'll say that."
"Well, I can't really think of anything right now." Naruto said with a giant grin on his face.
"Whew! Good save. At least the lying skills I taught him are still in place."
"My likes are my mother, playing poker with my, uh, 'friends'." Naruto said referring to beating the crap out of all the ANBU in the lounge at poker. Many of the ANBU simply stated he had a demons luck. Those poker games were Naruto's source of income every week. "My dislikes are people who abandon their comrades before they have done everything they can to help save them." that was another thing Dog had taught him early. Kakashi was glad he remembered that. "And my dream is to be the best ninja I can be so I can better protect my precious people!"
Kakashi frowned under his mask, but not enough to be visible. "Great." he thought. "I have an avenger with a superiority complex, a fangirl, and an ex-ANBU agent who has no doubt killed hundreds of people. This is going to be a very interesting team."
"Well," Kakashi said. "You have today off. Tomorrow meet me at training ground seven at five o'clock sharp in your ninja gear. Also, don't eat breakfast. Your going to puke if you do. Trust me."
Team seven simply nodded before going separate ways. Sauske to the Uchiha compound to train, Sakura to stalk Sauske, and Naruto to see Yugao and ask if she had anything to do with placing Dog on their team.
Yugao would of course say innocently no. But we and Kakashi know why. (A/N: if you don't, reread the last chapter.)
It was 7:30 a.m. When Naruto arrived when Naruto arrived in the clearing of the heavily wooded training ground in his standard ANBU uniform minus the mask. "YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura screeched at him who was wearing a red sleeveless dress where the front and back came to her knees and the sides stopped at her hips with a white circle on her back.
Naruto simply shrugged before sitting down and closing his eyes. Once he was comfortable he said "Get comfy. We have at least a half hour wait left. Tops, I'd say about a hour and a half." he then promptly fell asleep.
True to Naruto's word, Kakashi arrived a hour and a half later. By now he expected the reaction he was going to get and now had earplugs in for when Sakura undoubtedly screeched "YOU'RE LATE!"
Kakashi was about to smile under his mask and give a peace sign, but then he heard snores. That smile quickly turned into a frown. He knew ninja should use the information they had, but this was just plain disrespectful. "Uhhh, can someone wake Naruto up?" Kakashi asked.
With that Sauske, who's only difference in clothing was the ninja gear attached to his clothes, proceeded to knock Naruto's head against the tree violently.
"You know, to wake someone up, you don't have to be that violent."
"Trust us." Sakura said. "From our time with the looser at the academy, the only way to wake him up is something like this."
And, much to Kakashi's disbelief, Naruto slowly got up peacefully like nothing had happened. That only served as a reminder as to how hard ANBU had worked the boy.
"Alright, today is the real genin exam. That one in the academy was just to see if you were smart enough to be a genin. This test sees whether or not you are ready. The success rate of this test is 33%. That means one of you will fail. That person will be tied to a pole and not be given lunch. The test is fairly simple." Kakashi said while holding up two small bells. "Get these two bells from me before noon."
Kakashi then proceeded to take out an alarm clock and place it on the stump.
"Funny," Naruto murmured. "he has a clock with an alarm on it."
While ignoring Naruto's wise crack Kakashi said "The alarm will go off at noon. You have until then to get a bell. Trust me, come with the intent to kill or you will fail. The test starts… NOW!"
Sakura and Sauske immediately leapt off into the woods while Naruto just stood there saying in a soft voice so that his teammates couldn't hear him "Really Dog, the bell test. You've told me about this test and how to pass it tons of times. What's your game?"
"No game." Kakashi said in the same soft voice with a smile. "Just a teacher testing his students. Is there something suspicious with that?"
Naruto nodded his head while saying in the ever quiet voice "So, full on taijutsu spar, ANBU style?"
Kakashi nodded his head while mumbling "Ninja art number one, taijutsu."
That was all the prompting he needed to rush Kakashi. Faster then the eye could see he was running towards Kakashi while making a mass of shadow clones. Both of his teammates that were in hiding were visibly shocked when the clones started dealing damage.
"When did the looser get such power? He's not an Uchiha. He's not special. That power should be mine so I can kill Itachi!" our favorite little emo with the duck-butt haircut thought.
"Well Naruto, you sure are strong." Kakashi said while dispelling the last clone. "But can you handle this?" Kakashi teleported behind Naruto in a crouch and with his hands in the tiger seal before yelling "Hidden leaf village's secret ultimate taijutsu technique: one thousand yeas of death!" He then stuck his fingers up Naruto's butt.
Naruto then just turned to look at him and smile. This puzzled Kakashi. He knew for a fact what this technique could do. He had been on the receiving end of it more then once from his teacher. His questions were answered when 'Naruto' burst into smoke. Kakashi only had two seconds before the next attack came. Three other Narutos burst out of the trees surrounding the training field in different places and tried to quickly beat Kakashi into submission.
Kakashi defeated two of the clones with a split kick and was currently working on the third. That was when he heard a rustling in the bushes. That was the only warning he got before a kunai came flying at him followed by a Naruto. The kunai was somewhat slow and easy to dodge. Kakashi was working on trying to get a finishing blow on Naruto when it hit him.
But not fast enough as he soon found his hands tied together at the thumbs, preventing escape, and being propelled into a tree by four kunais, one for each sleeve and pants leg.
"You were the kunai, weren't you. That Naruto behind you is just a clone while your the real one. A clever plan really. You used two distractions instead of the normal one then attack. But all I'm left to ask is: why, you knew the point of the test. Why did you pit yourself against me?" Kakashi asked pointedly in a hushed whisper so the other two couldn't hear.
"Because," Naruto said in the same whisper "I wanted to see how sharp you are since you left ANBU. And apparently, you've become dull. The first time I used that on Cat, she caught on immediately. Now, I'm going to let you go, but give me five minutes to hide and/or find my teammates."
Kakashi felt bad about being talked too like that, but nodded non the less.
To Sauske, it looked liked Naruto was toying with their teacher. Which was true. "Just how much did the looser hide?" he thought as he saw Naruto finally win.
"Wait, what's he doing now?" he thought as he saw Naruto stand in front of Kakashi like he was talking to him. "He was toying with him! He shouldn't be a teacher if his student can beat him like that." he thought as he saw Naruto release Kakashi and then walk away like he didn't have a worry.
"This'll be easy!" he thought as he went to set up traps since it looked like Kakashi was staying still."After all, if a looser could beat him, he'll be no match for an Uchiha!"
The little emo couldn't have been more wrong.
Kakashi was just getting comfortable enough to read his book when a barrage of shuriken burst out of the bushes. Kakashi easily dodged the shuriken, but had a tougher time when Sauske pulled the ninja wire back, causing the shuriken to turn around and now aim for Kakashi's back. But Kakashi didn't make ANBU for nothing, he quickly ran to the right to dodge the barrage. That was when he felt the tripwire spring. He looked around and saw the new barrage of kunai that were launched. He dodged these by sidestepping back to the left.
But that was when the real trap was sprung as Sauske jumped out of the bushes behind Kakashi doing hand signs. He yelled out "Grand Fireball jutsu!" before breathing out a large fireball in Kakashi's blind spot. When the jutsu ended nothing was left but scorched dirt, which made him release a smug smirk. He had just beaten his teacher in less time then Naruto. He turned around to go back when his downfall occurred. He had let his guard down.
A hand abruptly ripped out of the ground and grabbed Sauske's ankle before pulling him neck high into the dirt.
"Lesson two." Kakashi lectured while popping out of the ground in front of Sauske. "Ninjutsu."
Sauske just let out a 'humph' while Kakashi went to find Sakura since the five minutes were now up.
"Sa-Saku-Sakura." a bloodied, bruised, and shuriken covered Sauske said appearing in front of Sakura suddenly.
"Sau-Sauske? Who did this too you?" the pink banshee asked worriedly. "St-stand still, I think I can help you.
"No Sakura. GO! That man isn't a teacher, he's a menace. I don't think I'll live long enough to do this myself, so I need you to do this in my stead. Warn the hokage. Have this man caught and executed for me. Can you please do that for me? It would make me love you forever in the afterlife." Sauske said before dying from blood loss.
Sakura let out her banshee shriek and abruptly fainted.
"Lesson three," Kakashi said as he shimmered into existence while Sauske shimmered out. "genjutsu. Epic fail. Naruto could find the loopholes in that jutsu when he was five-and-a-half. And he sucked nin finding genjutsus"
Kakashi then left to read his por- I mean, book with interesting action scenes.
It was now ten o'clock. Naruto felt he had let his teammates see that it was pointless to go at it alone and needed help. With that in mind Naruto got out of the hole he had buried himself into. "Well, who to save first? The banshee, or the prick?" Naruto asked himself aloud. Naruto then set off in the direction Sakura had screamed in hoping that Kakashi had gone easy on her and she would be easy to revive.
Naruto had awakened Sakura and they were now heading in the direction of the clearing Naruto's clones said Sauske was in. Naruto told Sakura to be quit, then led her to a bush to look through so she could scope out the situation. When she tensed up about to scream he figured she had just seen Sauske and nicked her out with a chop to the neck.
"This is going to take a while." Naruto thought while sighing mentally.
It was 10:30 when Naruto walked in like he owned the place. "I know you see her Kakashi." Naruto said while referring g to Sakura who was digging Sauske out of the ground. "But what are you going to do about it? To get to her, you'll have to get through me."
"I think I'll take my chances." Kakashi said with a small smile before running in a beeline for sakura.
"I said, you have to get through me!" Naruto said while quickly catching up to Kakashi. Kakashi realized the predicament he was in and quickly turned to face his attacker. Naruto upon reaching him let loose a left uppercut. Kakashi blocked this but was easily being overpowered.
"Damn!" Kakashi thought. "I didn't want to have to use it anywhere near the Uchiha. This is going to bite big if I use it. Crap. Damned if I do, and damned if I don't. This can only get worse."
"Use it." Naruto whispered. "I want to see how I compare to the sharing and it's supposed master." This visibly shocked Kakashi. "You thought I didn't know about it? Cat and I have no secrets. She told me everything once I asked why your mask only had one eyehole. Whoops! Time to go!" Naruto said once he realized Sauske was free and safely hidden away with Sakura. "I'll see you later."
Kakashi sighed. He held no doubts that this team would pass due too Naruto and him alone. The problem would be keeping them alive in the field due to their lack of actual skills.
It was 11:45 when again Naruto walked in like he owned the place.
"Okay Kakashi." Naruto said. "we've put up with this long enough. We've decided to put up one last fight. And trust me," Naruto said with a sadistic grin "they come with intent to kill. I'm going to come with aim to kill."
Naruto then gave a slight twitch of the wrist. That was when all of of hell very coordinately broke loose.