Act VIII: Encore
*Click*
*Click*
*Record*
Lily: Shit, is this thing on…?
**The video camera shows a close up of Lily's puzzled yet cute face, big eyes looking curiously at the lens. The not so technologically sound girl gasps, nodding happily at a revelation.**
Lily: Oh yes! It's on! Alright! We're in business!
**She pans the camera back to show her from the chest up, looking so snug and in her casual wear. Behind her is the makeup room.**
Lily: Okay this is going on Facebook and Twitter right? Hmm, what to talk about? Oh! First I want to thank sis for buying me this sweet ass camera. You're a babe! I'm doing videos for you especially darling! *She blows a kiss* Huh, well I guess I'll start all boring like video blogs. It's been my fifth day in New York and let me tell you, it's pretty far out there. It's freezing cold outside. The weed sucks. And-
Veronica: Whiner… *She walks behind Lily quite timely*
Lily: And that's Veronica… the big bucket of joy around these parts. *She skews a bit only to bring back her gorgeous smile, grabbing the camera and turning it as her moment was spoiled.* Well I guess then let's just give you guys a quick tour of the ballet big time.
*She steps back*
Lily: Here's my makeup and dressing station. Isn't that cool? I actually have my own make up station. *The camera captures the bulb lit up mirror, Lily and the camera being reflected back* Oh and here comes more of my fellow dancers… what's up girls?
**Gailana, Madeline, and a few other ballerinas walk in, waving at the camera.**
Lily: Girls say something to my internet people! *She grabbed the camera and panned it towards the girls*
Gailana: Oh God! I'm gonna be online! *She jumped up* Madeline what do I say?
Madeline: How about… I'm a spaz?
Gailana: Damn, you're always so mean to me!
Madeline: It's too easy…
Lily: *the camera comes back to her* As you can see, nothing but the nicest girls at Thomas Leroy's production. Just like home… *She shakes her head with a deadpan face to secure the sarcasm*
- footage break –
**The camera comes back bouncing as Lily was hand holding the camera, walking around the Lincoln premises.**
Lily: And here's the backstage area where we are going to do our show. Oh! And of course look who the devil brings in. *The office door opens and a busy Thomas Leroy steps out seeing the camera with a big confused face*
Thomas: Lily, what are you doing?
Lily: Filming you for my internet purposes… say something in French that's funny.
Thomas: I certainly will not. Don't you have some warming up to do?
Lily: Oh come on sir, you know me. I don't warm up. *She closed in on his cutely frustrated face as he says that.* Say there's a rumor going around that anyone who buys you free food? You'll let them leave practice early.
Thomas: W-what?
Lily: So what do you Frenchies like? *Thomas seemed half amused* Oh! You like baguettes with that stinky cheese right? Some crepes? Some croissants? Some… specific… pie?
Thomas: Lily, I'm busy… now if you excuse me. *After a confused look, he walks off frame with a quick pace.* Get to work!
Lily: So, there's our lovely choreographer Thomas Leroy. *She pans the camera back, extremely close to her face.* A lot to look at. Not much of a warm teddy bear… Huh, that sounds kind of a lot like me… How creepy is that?
- footage break –
*The camera is in a high angle as Lily is holding it awkwardly standing in front of a mirror, looking at it from below. Georgina is at her side, using her measuring tape to get the girl's body ready for dress up*
Lily: And here's the place where we get fitted for costumes. Or basically where Georgina here tells me how fat I am.
Georgina: Why you pretty little modest twig… *She wrapped a tape around her arm* You are going to look wonderful.
Lily: And that's why kids? She's my favorite person in the world… *She winks towards Georgina as she calmly bobs her head in the mirror.*
Georgina: Alright Lily dear I believe… you are done.
Lily: Thanks G.*She spins the camera noticing from the side, catching a certain girl that was entering the premises. She looked so tense as she walks by, Lily instantly drawn in that direction like a magnet.* Oh my God Nina! Wait! Stop!
Nina: *She turns to the camera surprised she almost jumps, blinking as she seemed to want to walk away as quickly as possible.*
Lily: Ladies and gentlemen, this is our Swan Queen! Our lead girl Nina Sayers! Say a few words to the camera!
Nina: Heh-… heh… hi…. *she says meekly, waving with the camera right in her face.*
Lily: She's amazing folks you must see her perform… She's going to kill it on stage.
Nina: I uh… Thank you Lily… *she looked around, not really anywhere in particular.* Um… I… I have to go.
Lily: Oh come on! You're the star! Give me some more time!
Nina: Thomas… will not be happy… um… sorry. *She bashfully walks off camera and into the room, the camera turning back to Lily as a bit of silence occurs. Lily just looks off camera probably tracking Nina for a little bit, turning back to the viewfinder slowly.*
Lily: A little uptight girl but cute. No? *she looks into the camera with a whisper. A friendly sigh came after.* … Yes… I check out the ballerinas… too.
- footage break –
*Film of the actual Swan Lake dress rehearsal happens behind Lily with the whole light show. She's staring into a mirror, the camera right in front of her, one eye only being in frame. Behind her the White Swan herself was dancing, captivating everyone including her… that one visibile eye peaking to Nina's every move.*
Lily: She's pretty good… and uh… she's pretty… um… pretty too? … *She continues to stare in silence* Hmm, someone just needs to get that stick out of her-
Thomas: LILY! What are you doing! You're up!
Lily: S-shit... I am in trouble. Bye! *She giggles as she was caught, turning off her camera*
- End Feed -
- B – B – B –
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
A gentle smile comes on tender lips as Lily turns her camera back to recording mode, sitting in the far corner of the room. Watching those images of the people on that camera was like opening an eye to a past almost forgotten. Everything was so fresh and new back then. The excitement of coming to New York for the first time was something she'd never forget. That was a time when Lily was still… Lily back then. And Nina was…
"Not exactly… like this…" Lily sat back, tracking with her camera as she knew Nina would probably want to see this. Her first ever dance practice back after the long layoff.
The whole practice room had silent voyeuristic vibe to the whole situation. It was like watching a ghost dance when Nina would come by with a signature spin or ballet technique.
Unlike before she's dancing in a four girl group, being posted back into her old usual role. She steals the show though effortlessly nonetheless, hitting her ballet steps that were just sharper and more refined than the girls around her. Dressed in black against a white ensemble she danced to kill. Even after all this time… Nina was ahead of everyone when it came to precision. She was a machine. She was relentless. Those toes kept moving like there was no tomorrow.
And you might be even… better than before.
"Stop!" Thomas gives a frustrated sigh as he walks to center stage. "Amazing Nina, Madeline, Sarah, but I only have one problem." He turns to the youngest girl in the group. "Lynn you keep making the mistake after the fourth movement. There's two steps missing. How many times have we gone over this?"
"S-sorry Thomas… I just-"
"No more excuses. We've had enough of them from you!" Thomas pointed at her. "I want that fixed. No more words!"
"Y-y-yes Thomas…" Lynn whimpers to herself, clearly flustered and red. She walks behind the line, just shakily closing her eyes as if she wanted to cry. Lily felt so bad as she wanted to turn off the camera, but suddenly she sees Nina take a step forward.
"Thomas, can I speak to Lynn for a second if you please?"
Thomas turns his head back. "About…?"
"Just some ballet strategies. I was your assistant before wasn't I?"
Everyone was just staring as the voice coming out of Nina was still delicate but had some… back bone to it. She probably never spoke to Thomas exactly this way and because of it their choreographer was a bit taken back. He gives a wave of his hand letting Nina do her thing. With that Nina walks over to Lynn, calmly speaking to her. Lily watches closely in admiration as Nina was explaining with a smile and thorough explanation.
Lynn breaks out in a giggle suddenly as she nods, suddenly all relaxed. The youngest one bowed her head to Nina in appreciation as the old Swan Queen walks back to center position.
"We are good to continue Thomas…"
Lily keeps her eyes on Nina, acting like a teacher, acting like a protector. Watching her just help a struggling ballerina out was a sight to see. She hadn't seen that type of kindness in very many around these parts let alone selfless leadership. It was just too ruthless of a business to do so. Nina could tell Lily was surprised just like the rest, looking at her and giving a friendly wave. She was so comfortable…
"Maestro. Continue…"
I like this… Nina…
But… is she even… Nina anymore?
- B - B - B –
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
"Lily! Black Swan variation now!"
Lily nodded as she walked out of the corner of the room, stepping gingerly towards center as Nina was knelt over against the wall like any other dancer in the premises. There was nowhere to hide when you were the Swan Queen. All eyes were always on you. Waiting for you to fail… waiting for you to make that one mistake. Nina of course was crossing her fingers figuratively watching only to root for Lily.
Lily gets into position, taking a peak over at Nina who is looking at her with reassurance. It was still a shock as she tried to shrug it off.
"You are a natural Lily! Go!"
Even with all the pain the way Lily danced the Black Swan was still as natural as could be. A few steps right on the button, the other steps flowed with reckless abandon. The loose cannon that was the Black Swan needed the madness. She spins like a spider coiling a web, unleashing her legs in a whipping motion as she goes into a striking seductive pose. Nina is clutching her chest, feeling every movement, Lily actually taking a peak over from time to time.
But as Lily was quite on outside. Inside, it was just different with Nina watching. The previous Swan Queen. Her best friend here. Her old… potential lover… staring at her was making her have a heightened sense of pressure. This was such an alien feeling… such a strange feeling.
Why am I the lead still?
This is… Nina's part…
I can't…
A body on the teetering edge of pain couldn't afford a misstep…
"Angh!" Lily winced as she knew something was off in her landing, feeling her right leg shoot up a sting from her thigh to her stomach. She stumbles against the wall, holding on tight as everyone gasped. Nina quickly popped up, slowly walking over with a concerned breath.
"Lily are you alright?" Thomas called out.
"I-I'm fine!" Lily tried to shake it off, holding her leg and rubbing it.
"No you're not Lily…" Nina got up to her, trying to help her by holding her up. "Let me get you to the back."
"No. I'm good… I'm good…" Lily begged Nina not to help as she tried to walk it off, getting out of Nina's hands.
"W-what's wrong? Just take a-"
"Thomas can I go to the dressing room for a second?" Lily turned with a grimace but stood strong, ignoring the pain. "I just need to get some tape."
Thomas stared at Lily, almost analyzing her façade like a wounded animal. He thinks better than to stop the good practice and waves his hand. "Go ahead. We'll continue without you for the moment. Ben and Frank, we need to practice the last lifts."
"Lily you are hurt. You can't fool me." Nina whispers almost angrily, touching her leg, and getting a stinging gasp from Lily.
"S-stop worrying…" Lily answered simply as they looked at one another not knowing where they stood or what their relationship was anymore. The pause gave way to a break as Lily walked off towards the dressing room, hiding the gimp in her step.
Nina just watched on, feeling her heart just want to pop out of its chest. As strong as she looked. As strong as she was. There was still a weakness inside that was too much to bear. Lily…
Seeing Lily hurt was hurting her.
- B – B – B -
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
The door to the bathroom shoots open, Lily wanting to cry out as her leg felt like it was torn up. She leaned against the sink, clutching and trying to rub out the pain with one hand. The other one digs through her purse trying to find the source of her inner strength. The almighty pill… the pain killers… the numb feeling she loves so much.
Pop another pill… just one more…
Lily stares at herself in the mirror. Barely recognizing herself as she looked so pathetic with the Vicodin in her hands. She tries to remember that same carefree girl that walked into this place long ago, a distant memory. A worthless memory. She uncaps the bottle and pours a few pills in her hands. She'd been taking so much lately it was scaring her but it was necessary.
This wasn't Lily.
When did this all get so extreme?
… When she started dancing for Nina?
Oh stop making excuses. You just want the spotlight. It feels good when everyone kisses your ass So good you're addicted… just like anything else.
"N-no… it's not that…" Lily looked up to see that image that wasn't herself smiling evilly, sitting on the sink's reflection, the mirror self, showing off her naked back with the wings.
Stop messing around and take the pills. You can do it… We can't disappoint Nina out there right? Hah… the less we feel. The better.
The pain was unbearable…
The pills looked like the only way out.
Lily gasps as she sees the mirror reflection's door bounce open, but nothing in her side happening. She watches speechless and frozen, a ball in her throat pulsing painfully as the image of Nina and Thomas making out against the bathroom wall was scorching fire into her eyes. The Lily on the other side watches happily, waving her legs. Thomas was undressing Nina, the newly darker vixen staring back at the real Lily with a suggestive stare, smiling the whole time as she was being touched so tauntingly.
You don't want her and she's so happy now. She's so sexy now. Thomas is going to be so happy with her. It's all thanks to you Lily. Now she doesn't need you anymore. She can get whoever she likes…
"I… why is this happening… I don't care!" Lily keeps peaking back towards the bathroom wall and then back to the real reflection seeing nothing. She wants to not believe that image. She clutches at her own skin wanting to tear it up, the mirror reflection of herself pissing her off to no end. She felt like she was going crazy. She felt like exploding in fury at the sight of Thomas and Nina making love right in front of her.
This is what Nina probably felt as the pressure caved in around her. Her reflection kept laughing at her as she wanted to crumple down, holding on desperately onto the sink with every bit of strength she had. It was a horrible realization but Lily wasn't handling the pressure much better. All that strength and confidence… was it even real?
She wanted to just...
** "Thank you Lily..."**
** "I don't want to be you… I want to be with you.**
** "I know now that I am not alone anymore…"**
"N-not… alone…" Lily heard the true voice of Nina shoot into her mind like someone was coming to her aid, making her breath slowly. She looks up towards her reflection slowly, the dark side looking back all snug.
Come on take the pill… who needs to feel?
"I'm done with you…" Lily scowled, raising her hand up, giving the image the middle finger. "… I don't need this. Nina may have fallen to this but unlike her I have someone watching my back. Her!"
YOU WON'T LAST! YOU'RE WEAK! YOU FAKE! YOU LIAR! YOU WANT TO HELP NINA BUT YOU'RE HURTING HER!
The darker image growls at Lily's defiance wanting to pounce on her but Lily turns away with the strength she remember she had. She puts the pills back into the bottle and tosses it at the wall. "I don't care what you say. I'm… better than this…"
The furious image seemed to lose its steam as it suddenly vanished. Lily smirked at the thought of pissing 'herself' off, chuckling almost. She slumped against the wall, the pain in her body wanting to just shut down right now. She felt so woozy, so tired of this. Where did she go? Where was the Lily she knew?
She wondered even so how great that Lily was in the first place…
"Lily! Oh my God!" Nina ran over to her, watching her sitting on the floor, holding her leg in pain.
"Nina…" Lily looked up weakly, smiling.
"Why didn't you just let me help you?" Nina knelt over, gingerly stroking Lily's head as she saw the bottle next to her, picking it up. "Pain killers… w-why…. Lily you are hurting badly! Why are you just ignoring this?"
"…"
"Come on! Let's get you to the dressing room." Nina aided Lily to her feet supporting her as they both stumbled out of the bathroom.
- B - B - B -
Every step that I take is another mistake to you…
Every second I waste is more than I can take.
I... I feel so numb...
It was all quiet around her in blank isolation. Lily sat in her chair, feeling like the room was almost watching her reflecting. There were hot/cold packets across her legs, the girl seated those dancer limbs on the chair for circulation. Beaten up. Run down. And exhausted. Lily was confused. The impossible had happened. For the infallible Lily was slowing down. It was like things were moving too quickly. Life in the fast lane was something she was supposed to be used to. But being both… the Lily she was… and this new… almost Nina like… dancer. It was apparently too much.
"I told Thomas that you need a break." Nina walked into the room, closing the door behind them with a reassured nod.
"Let me guess Veronica is probably throwing a party…"
"She's taking over for today yes." Nina sat down next to her, kneeling on the floor almost. "What did the doctor say?"
"Bruises and a minor strain… just a lot of them… I landed wrong and it aggravated it all at once… I should be fine by tomorrow." Lily moved the packs around, only to feel Nina's hand touching her thigh, and moving the muscles gingerly. "A-ah… fuck… it hurts… b-but it…"
"Feels good. I know…" Nina caringly rubbed Lily's thigh, the two looking at one another with a bashful stare. Physical touch always brought that about. The silence now could suffocate anyone as Lily just closed her eyes, trying to control the sensations of pain and the wonderous massage she was getting.
She had to speak either way.
"I… ungh… want to ask who you are." Lily looked at this newer Nina from above. "But… I don't think I'm in a position to ask anyone that."
Nina kept focused on Lily's body, pushing into the tender tissue slightly stronger, eliciting pleasurable and painful groans of Lily that made her put her head back. "Why are you pushing yourself so hard Lily? Y-you're the one that told me to relax. This isn't like you at all."
Lily looked away, thinking for a few seconds before returning. "Because I thought that was what you wanted."
"… What I wanted?"
"This role is yours. I was protecting it for you."
"… Lily…" Nina blushed at the kind thought, but shook her head. "I… um… that was the… me so long ago. I care way more about you than any role in any dancing studio."
Lily felt a grown up pop in Nina's face for a second, smirking. "T-that would've been nice to know a couple of days ago." She joked as she felt Nina push the muscles to a gentle calm, pleasurable feeling.
"I should've told you to not do this. If I was here I would've-"
"Don't feel guilty…" Lily stopped her doubt, suddenly looking into her eyes seriously. "I am the guilty one. Not you." She nibbled on her lip, not wanting Nina to fall into that same old pattern. "It's a half-truth what I just told you. Maybe that's how this all started. I felt like I needed to defend your legacy or something… to make sure someone remembered what you did that night on Opening Night."
Nina stopped her massaging listening so carefully, trying to remember her past that was being forced out by this new process she was going through.
"But, after the first time they cheered for me so loudly. I kind of put those thoughts behind me. The minute I felt this sense of accomplishment. It was like… a drug." Lily sat back now totally relaxed. "That rush. I couldn't get enough of it. The feeling of doing something that actually mattered…"
"… I understand how you feel."
"I don't think I was being honest with myself." Lily shrugged, looking at her. "Nina, for all my life I've been the girl that people call a free spirit. To me it was always a good thing and I lived the part and it felt great."
Lily…
"But after seeing you? After seeing these girls here? After hearing Thomas?" Lily crossed her arms. "I felt like I have all these abilities that I am blessed with. I had the opportunity of a lifetime right in my grasp. I couldn't just coast this time. When you told me I needed a break today. A part of me has been saying that for the last month."
"Then why didn't you?"
"Because another part of me says you've been taking a break for 15 years. All wasted! What I could've done with that time. I feel like a failure sometimes looking back at what could have been."
"Lily you are one of the best dancers here. You are no failure. Even then… you've made it so far in your career even without this lead."
"But I feel that way. I always feel that way. Like I'm afraid to fail or some shit so I go at everything leisurely." Lily explained about her own insecurities, Nina for the first time seeing Lily almost... at her level. "I drown it away with parties. I drown it away with alcohol. I roll… I fuck A LOT… I feel good in anyway shape or form to hide the fact that I've never taken anything serious enough in my life."
"Like… a relationship?"
"… Well maybe not anything…" Lily whispers, looking down.
"Sorry I b-brought that up…" Nina looked away as well ashamed.
"It's okay…" Lily glanced back up at Nina, pulling her chin back with a gentle pull, making them stare at each other. She laughs a little at a thought. "All this time with a new you and we're just talking about me…"
"I… I…. new me?" Nina blushed, shaking her head in denial. "I'm just a girl… trying to piece together my life. I'm no new person."
"Nina I can barely recognize you sometimes, but actually, right there it did look like the past for a second." Lily smiled to Nina's pleasure. "You told me to remember the you that left for a while. It's good to see that you're doing so well and changing. It makes me really happy. Especially that you're back now."
"T-thanks Lily. I'm just taking it one step at a time. The therapy I'm getting it feels like… I've been broken up… all my insecurities and fears spilled out on a table… and I am forced to deal with it. Coming back has been… a trip."
"W-what made you want to return to ballet today anyway?"
Nina paused in remembrance. "… It's been in my mind for the past few days. It was a lot of things… but…"
KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Hey Nina! We need you for the final variation!" Madeline knocked on Lily's door. "Is Lily alright?"
"Yes we're fine!" Nina returned the call. "I'll be out a in a second!" She turned back to Lily. "Will you be okay?"
"Yeah… I'll be fine… as bad as it looks? I'm always fine." Lily smiled reassuringly, cooing as Nina's hands finally came off those hot smooth thighs. "Just go get em Sayers… I am more proud of you than I could ever be. And I know you just wanted to feel my legs by the way…"
"Ugh, thanks Lily…" Nina rolled her eyes.
"You're welcome…"
Nina answered annoyed but took it to heart the encouragement more than Lily ever could know. "Just promise me you'll take it easy at least for today… I regret not listening to you the last time. Don't make that same mistake."
"Girl scouts promise…" Lily crossed her fingers a bit confused. " Or er, whatever the fuck they say…"
"Same Lily…"
Same Lily…
Really?
Nina left the room with her beautiful smile and Lily glanced back at the mirror that was really her own reflection smiling as well. She leans back thinking of what had transpired in the last minutes. The last days. The last weeks… the last months. The changes. The non… changes. With all that she stared herself down like she was challenging herself. The darkness within. The mystery within her.
"When I'm sober… I own you bitch…"
The reflection only chuckled as she did.
- B – B – B –
"It's good to have you back Nina."
Nina heard Madeline actually say the words sincerely, turning back. "I… thanks… you guys have been really nice to me."
"You deserve it. Keep up the good work." Madeline patted her back. "Gailana is kind of down but she says she's glad at least you're taking her spot."
"… She said that?"
"Yep…" Madeline strolled off with a calm smirk, waving at her and exiting the building. Practice was over for a few minutes now and Nina was probably one of the last ones out of the place. As much as everyone else was surprised she was back, inside she was the most surprised. If someone were to tell her if how much she had done in the past month had been plausible she would've laughed it off.
Everyone seemed to be having her back now.
Was… the tension all in her mind back then?
Was this place as bad as she remembered?
"Nina we need to talk…"
"Lily! You're up." Nina picked up her backs with an excited jump, walking towards her with a smile. "I… was hoping you'd be good by the end of practice…"
"You got magic hands… more surprises from Nu-Nina…" Lily gave a suggestive wink, as she met her friend in the middle, a slight limp now only hinting at the injuries. With a light of a cigarette Lily began her ritual smoking and breaking the rules gig. "I was watching you from the back. You've gotten better without stepping into ballet slippers for months… how the heck is that possible?"
"Like riding a bike… it seems." Nina blushed, crossing her arms.
"You're gifted Nina. I think honestly you're the best ballerina I've ever seen… any age."
"Stop that… you know that's just biased…"
"Well I'm hoping you are anyway…" Lily puffed the cigarette a bit more serious in tone, strolling towards the piano and rubbing the black glossy finish as if she was preparing to say something.
"Y-you need to talk to me about something?"
"Mhmm." Lily leaned on the piano, staring at the returning ballerina with gleaming eyes. "I spoke with Thomas today and told him that now you're back I want the Swan Queen role up for grabs again."
"You said what?"
"… Nina this role is yours and I was holding it for you." Lily walked forward. "I have all the faith in the world that this new you is prepared to take this role to something that no one's ever seen. You were born for this."
"Lily, you worked hard to earn this spot. I'm happy where I am." Nina shook her head.
"But I'm not…" Lily looked down.
"You don't want to be the Swan Queen?"
"Not the way I got it… no." Lily pointed at her. "This bothers me. I've been thinking and even if I had the choice to go back and re-do this all again… I'd have a hard time saying no to this opportunity." She puffs the cigarette. "Being the Swan Queen made me finally look at what was wrong with me. I looked so good from the outside didn't I? But inside now… I've been tested again… in the longest time. I know what I'm doing now. What I need to work on."
"… And you're giving up the role? Quitting?"
"Hell no… Lily doesn't quit. At least… this Lily doesn't." She smirks. "Ballet isn't a little bitch's career. There's better paying gigs and less demanding gigs and I always wondered why the Hell I stayed in this career. I always thought it was because I liked looking cute and having basically a kid's dream as a job… was it the same for you?"
"… Somewhat…" Nina stared into her eyes.
"I kept at this because it was fun for me. I was good at it. It was an art form that made me be disciplined at one damn thing in my life." Lily seemed like she was on a roll. "I need to get some self-control back just in general. And I need to know how much I deserve this career."
"What are you saying…?"
"Tomorrow we're going to have a one day full test run of the show… just the Swan Queens. You and me, with Thomas watching and critiquing. Whoever he likes more he's going to make the lead role for the rest of the season."
"Lily! That's crazy… we can't switch again."
"Thomas and I both know that if you become Swan Queen interest in the production is going to sky rocket Nina. Your story is too powerful for it not to." Lily reassured. "Your performance and that Opening Night made this production on fire… and now that you're back? Even Thomas doesn't care about some criticisms about switching leads in the middle again. I don't mind it if you beat me for it. I don't quit…"
"B-but…"
"I don't mind keeping the role if I earn it… agree to this Nina."
Nina shook her head." No! This is not fair to you. I will not compete with you."
"You did before and you did great. Nina please… I need this."
"W-why? I…"
"Because I need to prove to myself that I deserve this role. That I am not dancing for you or any ghosts." Lily pleaded. "This is going to happen."
"This is crazy. I won't do it…"
"I'm not done… this goes beyond the Swan Queen." Lily looked at her with more somber eyes, such beautiful big eyes. "You said that night that you wanted me right?"
"Y-yes… I did."
"Then here's your opportunity." Lily put the cigarette out. "You beat me tomorrow? I'm going to give it my all to try… a serious relationship with you. I beat you tomorrow? … I get to fuck you again whenever I please… no strings attached."
"Lily… I can't believe you." Nina blushed, crossing her arms. "Are you nuts?"
"What's so crazy?" Lily walked towards her. "I'm a stubborn mule Nina! You really want to sit there and wait for me to change my mind about this? You have the chance to do what you do best to win me. I'm giving you this opportunity!"
"You think me beating you and forcing you into a relationship is what I want to do? As if I'm that selfish?"
"Nina… somewhere deep down inside… I'm being honest… I want you too." Lily suddenly broke the words, almost pausing as she did, making Nina's heart skip again. "It's just… my past… I get scared just thinking about it."
Lily gets… scared?
She takes off her jacket, going only in her practice top, those black wings visible in the mirror. "Somewhere out there, there's a girl with these same tattoos. Matched across her back. Just like mine. They're not Swan wings. They're fallen angel's wings…"
"Y-you and your ex-girlfriend…"
"Yes, we got them together saying we'd fall to Hell for one another. She was my first serious girlfriend and we were together for almost six years."
"…"
"She cheated on me the whole time. I was abused the whole time yet I stayed thinking that it was all okay and true love wins out." Lily sighed. "I was battered Nina. After that I'd treat anyone I was in a relationship with the same way… like trash. That's why I don't get into that shit. I don't want that to happen to you unless you show me you can beat the Hell out of me and put me in my place. Let's see how strong you really are."
"… I am sorry to hear about that…"
"The only way I learned to love anyone is to choke them to death…" Lily whispers. "Don't leave me… please stay… I won't let go… so I don't even bother to try anymore. I leave a wake of broken and battered hearts."
"Lily I.. can't… I can't do this… I'm sorry. I just can't!" Nina suddenly pulled away, grabbing her bags and was about to bolt out the door in tears.
"Nina! You owe me!"
Nina heard those words, holding back the tears as she stood there, stopped by the big mouth of Lily.
"Don't walk away from me again! Don't walk away from this." Lily stood strong. "You said you couldn't repay me ever in your life for my help. Well? This is it! Help me get rid of my demons either way. You win. I can let go and be at peace, you're the Swan Queen again and I try something with someone I know is strong enough to handle me. I win? I prove myself as a dancer, nothing changes from today, and I get to have you at night because I want your body so fucking bad I want to just break something."
"… This is… what you really… want?"
"If I were to put money on either of us… I'd put it on you… tell me if you really wanted me what would you do?" Lily challenged her. "How bad do you really want me in a relationship?"
"… Very… badly…" Nina turned with watery eyes, Lily walking over suddenly and hugging her tightly.
"Do this for me… please… Nina… I won't hate you. Either way I'll be your friend till the end…"
Nina looks to the air as she holds her tightly. The words next coming out like airy breaths. "I… fine… I'll do this…" she looked at Lily with a more prominent brow curve. "I'm telling you right now… I'm going to win. I… need you to myself and only me…"
"Good… new confident you." Lily stroked Nina's tears away. "Thank you…" She slowly moved her face in, kissing the tears, making Nina frizzle up, and lean back. "Guess you're not all new when it comes to it…"
"Damn you for making me do this…" Nina kissed her lips back suddenly, making Lily bounce back in surprise.
"Aw, it won't be so bad either way. Because tomorrow night? No matter what happens?" Lily leaned into her ear, licking it before whispering. "I'm fucking you all night long…"
Before Nina could react, Lily's tongue was deep down her throat, her lips silencing the loud moan that erupted from her mouth. Nina pressed kiss back as she held Lily around her neck, Lily grabbing onto Nina's head and pressing it so deep and passionate. Their kiss was noisy. It was sloppy. It was… passionate. Lily had Nina leaning back, exploring the sweet mouth like an obsession… she had her. She had her reeling…
"I hope that gives you some inspiration…" Lily whispered as she pulled away, breathing heavy like Nina. "Because you're getting my best shot tomorrow Sayers. I'm not making this easy…"
Lily pulled away from a Nina with a friendly wink, the lighter haired one feeling a bit faint from that wonderous kiss. Lily smirks to herself in accomplishment as she grabs her bags, walking off in her own confident strut. Times may have changed but for that split second it felt like before. Lily felt like herself again. Dominating. Mysterious. And getting her way.
Nina clenched her bags tightly as she watched Lily walk out of the studio. The nerves were there but she had an energy that welled up inside. She couldn't believe what just happened but she looked down in a calm breath. She was going to get the role… not because she wanted the role. She wanted Lily so bad. She wanted to win.
This was going to be the biggest dance of her life.
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me…
With someone disappointed in you…
I'm tired being what you want me to be…
A/N: Lily vs. Nina... for all the marbles! Dun dun dun! :)