Chapter 5: He just doesn't trust me

Boston; Thursday; 10:55 AM

There he stood, Killian was waiting outside of the apartment building to be at Emma's apartment right on time . He got a key from her which he could use to open the central door which lead to the hall of the building. It was time, he waited until it was 10:59 AM so he could be in front of her door at 11am sharp.

Killian opened the door with the key Emma gave him, did she trust him that much? She didn't even know about his past… 'the pirate of New York'. She knew about Boston though, come on everyone knew. But not the exact parts, the parts about how he gambled with other men and took the girls with him to a hotel. Those were one-night stands. Emma wasn't one.

He had the choice to take the elevator, but Emma liked to walk so he took the stair anyway.

"I'm coming!" he heard. Killian had knocked on Emma's door. She didn't give him a key to her apartment, she wasn't that trustworthy.

The door opened and Emma stood in front of him. She was wearing a white knitted sweater paired with a dark blue body warmer, a pair of dark washed denim jeans, brown boots which almost touched her knees and a red tartan scarf. Her long blond hair fell behind her back.

"You look wonderful Swan." Killian said as he gave her a sweet kiss on her soft lips.

"I must say, I kind of missed you." She said smiling at Killian who was stood in front of her.

Killian walked behind her so Emma could lean back against his warm body. She could smell the musky scent of him, typically Killian. And she never wanted him to let go of her.

"Where are we?" Killian questioned as they stepped out of Emma's yellow car which had been driven into the woods.

"This place is called Mystic rivers." Emma said before she paused briefly, "All the rivers of Boston come together in this place and end up creating this lake, I thought this would be a great place to go for once…"

"It's perfect." Killian said as he stood in front of her and took her hand whilst saying his words.

They talked about all things, how Emma grew up in a foster home and how she came to line in Boston. What her favourite food was and how she liked the orange coloured autumn leaves which fell from each tree in the woods.

"What about you?" Emma asked. They walked towards the centre of the rivers as you couldn't park your car there, it was in the middle of the woods. And of course, Emma wanted to take a longer way than usual.

Killian looked at her shortly "Me?" he said as he felt Emma's hand in his own one.

"Yeah how did you came to live in Boston."

Silence, that was his answer. Killian wasn't gonna tell his bad boy stories about New York. What was he supposed to say? Yes I lived in New York before and had every girl you could think of, I cannot even remember their names so needed an new canvas. No, Killian's reputation wasn't a very good one. He wasn't proud of it. He once was, when he thought being the pirate in love would really help him. But it only made himself much more worse.

"There is not much to say about me love. I lived in New York before I came here. Had a job in a night club and wasn't really good to myself. So I headed to Boston for what you could call a second chance."

"Let me guess, I'm your second chance."

She was damn right, Emma really was his second chance.

They had stopped walking beneath the high trees of the forest which were settled on the dark green grass. Nobody really walked this way as it took too long to reach the river centre.

"Yes… Yes you are." He admitted.

He lifted Emma's chin with two of his fingers, to find her forest green eyes. Emma took both of his hands and kissed him, now she couldn't only smell him like this morning. She could taste him, feel him. He tasted like a daydream that would never end.

Killian pulled away for a second as his lower lip touched her upper one. He gave her a kiss in the crook of her neck and Emma's head had fallen upon his shoulder. She was gentle and strong, what could she see in a dick like him?

"There they are."

They reached the centre of all the rivers in Boston, the Mystic rivers. Emma held Killian's hand tightly as to not fall off the stones they were walking on so that they could reach the lake.

"Why did you leave New York?"

"I already told you miss Swan, it wasn't a good place for me."

"Then what did you do to make it the wrong place."

Emma wanted to know his secret.

"It doesn't make sense what I did, it just…" and he couldn't even finish as Emma interrupted him.

"Kilian why are you pretending like there is nothing wrong? You cannot escape a town without doing something."

"What in the bloody hell are you talking about Emma?"

"You're hiding something for me! I lived in New York mister I have a past which I don't speak about." Emma was scared by her own anger, "I told you everything, about my foster home, Neal, everything. Then why can't you just tell me one thing about yourself?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you, okay Swan? This conversation ends now. Maybe sooner or later I can tell you but this isn't the right time! Got it?"

"Wow, bravo Killian good job. You know? Screw you. If you think this is the right way to talk to me then you're wrong. I can see when someone is lying and God, you're throwing lies out like you don't even care."

Emma started to walk away, back up the stones to find her way back to the car.

"Emma please wait, let me drive you home."

"I can drive on myself home, thank you."

And she walked away.

Killian stood empty handed at the lake. He ran his hand through his hair, knowing he had lost her for now.

Emma walked all the way back, taking the shorter way. She thought about how they kissed today and how happy she felt. But how her heart was crushed at the words of Killian, he just didn't trust her. There she sat, alone in her yellow car. The tears streaming down her gentle sloping cheeks to fall onto her legs.