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EPOV

The little pixie dragged me upstairs to my room as soon as we got home.

"Edward I redid your wardrobe."

Well I had provided her with the perfect excuse but then again she didn't really need any reason to buy new clothes.

"Thank you Alice."

"I didn't throw away your old stuff since I know some of them hold sentimental values for you. But you cannot wear them at the moment."

I had most of my very old clothing from my human time and right after preserved at my old home in Chicago which I still maintain.

She opened the door to the wardrobe.

"I've put the clothes which are safe for you to wear right now on the right hand side and all the rest are on the left. Please make sure you do not wear anything from the left hand side."

I noticed that the left side was mostly full of pants and all my underwear. The right side held all my other clothing. I could guess at the reason for this.

"I reinforced all the clothing that were made with thicker more sturdy material and put the rest aside. I also got some new stuff including new underwear for you and reinforced them as well. Esme helped me with it. We worked all night. She's still doing the remaining ones."

"Oh Alice….. Thank you so very much." I gave the little pixie a hug.

"Edward I didn't tell her what happened in the library. I just told her you needed sturdy clothing and she seemed to understand. She told me that she should have thought about doing this when Emmett used to burst out of his clothing. I think she thought it was a possibility that can happen to you too but she didn't voice it."

I was so glad to have a mother and a sister who cared so much for me. Even at vampire speed it must have been a lot of work for them. I closely examined my clothes. There was loads of new stuff.

"My god Alice how much clothing do you think I need? This is enough for a whole army and mom has more?"

"You are now officially dating a very beautiful young lady Edward, you should dress appropriately to please her."

I rolled my eyes at this. I later went down to thank Esme. She was standing by the sewing machine sewing something by hand. I hugged her from behind. She responded by ruffling my hair. She reminded me so much of my birth mother. She used to do the exact same thing when I hugged her. At my time it was not common for grown sons to hug their mothers but my mother always loved it. It was at times like this that I dearly missed her. She would have been so happy for me. She would have loved Bella. It was always her dream to see me happily married and settled down.

I dressed very carefully in a grey t-shirt, black boxer briefs and jeans in the night. I even tried to comb my hair and gave up after several attempts. I knew Bella loved to run her hands through it so I decided it was ok to leave it messy as usual. I wanted to look good for Bella. I had never really thought much about my clothing Alice bought most of our stuff and she colour coordinated everything so that they matched. She had surprisingly got me mostly boxer briefs which were similar in design to the ones I normally wore. But there were a few which looked like they came from the Spring catalogue. I picked one of them up and dropped it immediately in shock. It didn't seem to have a back! Only a strap! Holy shit! I didn't dare investigate the rest closely. I sorted the boxer briefs and put them in my underwear drawer and hid the scandalous collection in the back of my wardrobe. I sincerely hoped that Esme had not seen those.

I was feeling very nervous when I approached Bella's window. I didn't know what would happen today. I knocked and she immediately opened it. She was wearing similar clothing like yesterday this time her t-shirt was green with grey pants. She had her beautiful hair down. I longed to run my hands through it.

"Hi Edward. Shall we talk on the bed? We'll be more comfortable."

I sat down and removed my shoes and socks. I will have to remove my jeans now or should I remove my t-shirt first? … all of a sudden I felt shy. Stripping in front of Bella was turning me on and I already had a huge erection. I was sure Bella would have noticed by now. Removing my socks had given me perverse pleasure! Yesterday she had removed my pants when I was under the covers but now she would get a good look at me. It's my Bella …. And I'd already been with her this way. I reached for my belt buckle. Bella jumped forward and held on to my hands. Her heart was beating wildly and she looked really flustered.

"Edward… I can't concentrate with you .. like that… I mean I think we'd better leave our clothes on today.. I really want to talk to you and I know I will never be able to do that if you remove that."

Shit! I was mortified. I had almost stripped to my underwear and she didn't even want me to! Wait… she wanted my clothes on because she wanted to concentrate? Did that mean she found it difficult when I'm without them? I felt a bit better.

She tripped on her way to the bed and I grabbed her before she fell and carried her and placed her next to me in the bed. I pulled the comforter over her and settled on top.

"You can come a little closer and stay under the comforter you know.. we now know I won't freeze to death with you next to me." She was blushing. If I could I would have too. Images of how I held her during the night flashed through my mind. I remembered every precious detail.

I climbed under the comforter and held Bella closely.

"So what do you want to talk about love?"

"Well, tell me about your life back in 1918. Did you date when you were human?"

"No. Bella. I was more interested in the war. I did notice pretty ladies. I remember admiring them with my friends but the memories are not that clear. I don't really remember much of that time. My mother tried to set me up with one of her friend's daughters. I wasn't interested but I might have asked her out just to please my mother but before that the influenza epidemic hit."

"After that during my vampire life I really was not interested in anyone at all. I thought that something was wrong with me. Even Carlisle and Esme were worried. They had actually even considered the possibility that I might be gay. But as time passed they came to the conclusion that Carlisle turned me while I was too young. I'm glad that he no longer worries about that."

"They love you a lot."

"Yes I know. I'm very lucky to have them."

"So you never wanted to sleep with anyone at all? Or did you admire from a far but because of your morals you didn't want to approach anyone because you wanted a commitment based on love?"

"No. Bella I never wanted anyone at all. I mean women were beautiful but I was not attracted in that way.."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that I didn't want them."

"But it must be hard at times… when others in the house were you know… and you even heard their thoughts."

How was I going to explain this to her?

"It's just that….just that… it was only when I first kissed you that I even.." I couldn't do it. How was I going to tell her that that was the first time I ever got an erection after I became a vampire?

I buried my face in her hair.

"Edward…" She stroked my hair.

"Edward… what happened the first time you kissed me?" Her hand moved from my hair to my face caressing me with her soft touch. My face was burning where she touched. I took a deep breath.

"It was more than the blood lust…. that made me pull back all of a sudden….it was…..it was surprise.." Bella was now trying to pull my face back up and look at me. I buried my face deeper into her hair bringing my hand up to cover it.

"What Edward… you know you can tell me anything right? This is why we need to talk to each other. We should be able to talk about anything Edward, anything at all."

"It was the first time I got aroused."

What would Bella think of me? It's such an improper response for a simple kiss but to me it was so much more. Every time I kissed Bella I felt the tingle of arousal. It took a lot of control for me to be with her and make sure I kept this hidden from her.

"What?" Bella seemed really surprised. I knew it. It was not the sort of correct response she would have expected from a gentleman.

"You mean to say that you never had an erection before?" Oh I was mistaken, she was worried about something else entirely.

"No Bella. I told you I never wanted anyone at all before I met you."

"You mean you never masturbated before you met me? I can't believe it! Everyone does it!"

"I never do." I could feel Bella blushing her pulse was erratic. I still wasn't ready to look at her. But I couldn't resist kissing her on her pulse point at her neck.

It took a little time for her breathing to get back to normal and it was then that she spoke to me again.

"Edward… what do you mean you never do?"

"I mean I have never done it." Was it wrong to have not done it? Now I was very confused.

"When you kissed me for the first time… was that the only time you got a.. a.. you know what?"

I was in hot water now. But she didn't seem to worry that I got an erection in the first place. She was only worried that I hadn't masturbated. Now I was totally confused. Why was she worried? Guess I'd have to answer her with the truth.

"No every time I kissed you I had that response and some times just looking at you or even thinking of you got me going."

"And you never relieved yourself? Unbelievable." She was shaking her head in wonder. She seemed astonished but not angry or disgusted with me. I finally found the courage to look at her. She held my face in her hands and stared directly at my eyes. There was so much emotion in her eyes.

"Oh Edward, why didn't you. You must have suffered like hell!"

"I was brought up to be a gentleman and gentlemen did not indulge in such conduct during my time. I know things have changed now but my birth father taught me that anyone who did this would go to hell. Some other consequences were also given at the time but I believed the reason he gave. So I never did it. I also felt that it was a sign of disrespect to you if I indulged in it while thinking of you. All my memories and the time I spend with you is sacred to me and I did not wish to tarnish it."

Her response to this was to hunch her shoulders and cover her face with her hands. Her shoulders started shaking and then I smelled her tears. Oh god I made her cry.

"Bella.. Bella love. I'm so sorry. I really am. I .. just couldn't control my thoughts of you but I promise you that I never indulged. Please Bella please don't cry love."

She only cried louder. Suddenly she wrapped her hands around me and hugged me tight while sobbing.

"Ed..Edward….what have I ever done to deserve you?"

What was going on? I was now totally lost. I just held her tight. I really didn't know what to say to her because I simply didn't know what I did wrong or why she was crying. Finally she stopped and I took some tissues from her bedside table and started wiping her tears.

"Edward… I'm the one who should be apologising not you. I really didn't begin to understand the love you had for me and how you treated me. I think I'm getting to know you so much better now."

"Shh.. it's ok. I will always love you Bella.. always.."

"I don't know if you will after what I have to say to you…"

Oh god… did Bella… had she belonged to another…? I couldn't bear the thought that she might have given herself to another while I was gone. Was it that mutt? The pain that I felt at this thought was unbearable. I felt a searing ache in my dead heart. But I deserved it. I was the one who left her and wanted her to have a normal happy life. I held her more tightly to me. Whatever happened she would still be very precious to me.

"It doesn't matter to me Bella. I love you just the way you are. Whatever happened doesn't matter. Purity is not something I expect from you. You had the liberty to be with another while I was away. Hell I left just so that you could live a normal human life."

"What.. what are you talking about?" Now she looked perplexed.

"I mean it doesn't matter to me that you are not a virgin anymore."

Bella's eyes widened and she looked very angry. What now?

"What? Edward Cullen, I'll have you know that I do not sleep with every tom, dick and harry that crosses my way. And the only person I've been this intimate with is you."

My relief at this was overwhelming.

"Bella my Bella." I felt myself sobbing. I didn't have any tears to cry but I would have if I could. She hugged me back.

"Edward.. hey are you crying? Please don't. You still didn't hear my guilty secret." I had to smile at this. She always knew how to make me smile.

"Bella…. what am I going to do with you? Ok tell me your deepest darkest secret?" She looked down and she was blushing?

"I .. oh god.. don't flip ok? Promise me you won't be upset." Ok this was getting interesting. I wondered what Bella thought would make me angry.

"Ok I'll try not to be upset. But if that vile Mike Newton or anyone of those…"

"Edward! This has nothing to do with them." I kissed her forehead and stroked her hair.

"Tell me love. Just know whatever you did doesn't matter ok? I will always love you. It will never change."

"I've fantasized about you….and me…." I stopped breathing.

"And I've done it by myself.. I used to do it all the time. Every time you kissed or touched me I got very aroused too. Just the thought of you was enough. It was the same for me Edward. But I relieved myself. I never thought doing so was wrong. I mean now a days everyone does it. But I'm sorry if it's a bad thing. I really am. I didn't know Edward. If it makes you uncomfortable I won't do it anymore…. specially since.. god Edward.. what am I saying?"

She covered her face with her hands once again but buried her face in my chest. I was speechless. It took a moment for me to think this through. Bella thought of me.. and masturbated? The thought was enough to get me hard. Images kept flashing across my mind of how she would look like. It was with the greatest difficulty that I focused back on the present. I knew I had to speak.

"Bella…love.. I don't mind.. it's ok. It's not wrong. It's just that I was surprised." She still wouldn't look up.

"If it makes you feel better I'll try to do it too… oh hell Bella what are we talking about? I don't believe we are having this conversation."

I heard Bella giggling and I joined her. In no time at all we were both laughing. I held her beautiful face in my hands and looked into her eyes.

"You know Bella, I can't imagine how much things have changed since the time I was born and changed. I wouldn't say that everything has changed for the best but for this .. I mean for this relieving thing I think I like the modern times better."

She smiled at that. I couldn't help planting a chaste kiss on her smiling lips. Bella had shared so much of herself with me and it was time I reciprocated with the same honesty however much it embarrassed me.

"Bella now I have a confession to make. The first time I had an orgasm was not in the class room but during the bike ride with you love."

"I know Edward. I guessed it."

She knew? I couldn't believe it. My attempt at covering what had happened with the excuse of spilling petrol on me had been in vain.

"I was surprised when you fell off the bike and the second time when you started shaking. But I realised something was seriously wrong with you when you came up with that stupid excuse of spilling petrol on yourself. I saw the stain when I bent to pick up the stick and I also knew that the bike was in perfect condition. Jake taught me a lot about motorbikes and I had checked the bike myself before driving out. I didn't figure it out right away but after the classroom incident I knew what had happened."

Bella gave me a very cheeky grin.

Oh how much I loved this woman. It was very humbling to know that Bella had pretended to believe me just so that I wouldn't be embarrassed. She had been so understanding and her help with covering what happened in the class room was beyond anything I'd ever expected from her.

"Thank you Bella for being so understanding and for covering for me, you seemed to have to do that a lot these days."

We both chuckled at the remembrance of the many occasions.

"Hey I've always meant to ask you, what was Jessica thinking when she caught us in the closet? I didn't like the way she was looking at you."

Oh she remembered that? This was going to be very embarrassing.

"Well .. do you really want to know?" I felt uncomfortable.

"Yes. And I can even guess what she was thinking. Ok out with it Edward."

"She wanted to have a look at my….. well you know what again since Lauren had told her it was…it was… big."

"What do you mean again? She saw it before?" Oh…..I'd have to tell Bella

"Actually, a lot of people saw how aroused I was even Alice after our kiss near the lockers."

"Oh! Shit! I'm so sorry Edward…I never realised.. please you have to know I never thought about it before I acted."

"It's ok Bella. Although I felt embarrassed at that moment it also made others realise that you were my girl and they had to keep away from you. And of course I hoped that it would get Jessica and Lauren off my back."

"So did it work?"

"Well they no longer wanted to be my girlfriend but their fantasies got more vile." Bella seemed to get angry at this piece of information.

"You are mine. I will have to make it more clear to them I guess. I thought our meeting in the closet would have taken care of that."

"I block their thoughts Bella. So it's ok."

"No it's not ok. I will have to do something about this."

She looked like a tigress protecting her cubs. Her eyes were glittering and she looked ferocious. She would make a good vampire.

I couldn't help leaning in and kissing her lovely lips. She kissed me back earnestly. That was all it took to get us lost in our desire. We were both very addicted to this. At least we managed to have a decent conversation before all hell broke loose. I couldn't get enough of her.

She pulled off my t-shirt and I ran my hands under hers caressing her back. I still didn't feel comfortable going any further and touching her more intimately though I longed to do it. She wasn't wearing a bra. She loosed my belt buckle and opened my zip. I found that I was no longer embarrassed about it when she touched me through my underwear. Alice's new underwear was rougher than my usual which resulted in more friction. She straddled me and we frantically moved against each other. I never even got to remove my trousers. We both exploded in unison. I felt closer to her than ever before. I knew more about her. She had fantasised about me. An electric shock ran down my body. I was instantly hard again. Bella noticed and started rubbing against me again. I rolled us over with me on top of her. This time we took it slow. I put my hand under her pants and touched her through her panties again. They were cotton but I felt it had some lace in the front. Her wetness seeped through the lace more easily and my hand was coated in her arousal. I wanted to taste her so badly. Well why not? I slowly pulled my hand out of her pants and quickly licked my fingers. Oh she tasted so sweet. I heard myself moaning in pleasure. I heard a gasp. Bella was looking at me with dark hungry eyes. For a moment I felt embarrassed at getting caught but then she leaned forward and licked my lips. Oh god. I felt my stomach clinching. I was close. I captured her lips in a wild kiss and put my hand in Bella's pants again and rubbed her through the material. She thrashed the bed lifting her hips and moaning in to my mouth when she released and hers triggered mine. We both lay down panting. I held her closely to my chest and stroked her hair. After a while our breathing became regular again.

"Edward .."

"Yes love…"

"That was.. that was.. amazing." I chuckled at that. Yes she was right.

"We are amazing together Bella…" I planted soft kisses along her jaw line and nibbled on her ear.

"Edward… do you want more?"

"Do you love?"

"I do…but I'm a bit sore and tired I think." She was blushing.

"Bella did I hurt you love?" I was very worried. I know how sensitive her soft flesh must be. I might have unintentionally rubbed her too roughly.

"No no Edward. It's just that I'm not used to having so many .. you know. We had three today including the one in the morning."

"Yes.. and I can't still get enough of you." She drew in a huge gulp of air.

"Edward.. are you .. are you dissatisfied..? I mean am I not enough?"

"Hell no Bella. You are all that I want and all that I will ever want. That's why I can't get enough of you."

"You never get tired right?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean that you can go on and on and on?" Her heartbeat was rapid and her words came out in a rush.

"Yes.. I guess so. But there will always be a limit for everything I would have to stop sometime to hunt to replenish my strength. But I could never get enough of you love."

"So when I'm like you…" It was my turn to go out of breath.

"Yes we can continue for as long as we want."

I remembered how it was when Carlisle and Esme first mated I'd had to live in the forest for almost six months. I'd only come home to change clothes and wash myself. It was worse with Emmett and Rosalie.

"I'd like that."

"Me too love."

I would finally be able to love her completely without holding back like I do now. I will have no need to be concerned about my strength or the possibility of losing control and biting her. I stroked her silky hair and planted a kiss on her head.

"Edward is it ok if I sleep now? I'm a bit tired and we have school tomorrow."

"Sure love. We have all the time in the world to get to know each other." I hoped we had an eternity to get to know each other.

How was it? I hope the talk cleared things up a little between them.. So what do you think Bella is up to? I will update on Wednesday.