Aj's POV

Have you ever done something weird out in public only to have everybody stop what they were doing and stare at you? Because that happens to me everytime I go out somewhere now, except I got looks of disgust and pity. I even got those looks from my family when I went home for the holidays, but instead of disgust it was disapointment.

I didn't have to explain anything to them because by that time I'm sure they all know what happened. They just left me alone only checking in on me from time to time. I spent pretty much the whole time crying laying in bed in my old bedroom. I haven't cried so much in this bed since the time Jay broke up with me a couple years ago. But this one hurts a lot more then that one because not only was I in love with Aksana but she was really in love with me too and she proved it everyday. She never really had to say it because the things she did showed me how much she loved me. Like if she did something I didn't like she would apologize and then try to fix it, not ignore me and keep doing it like he did. It was kind of nice seeing all my childhood friends during the break. I know they knew what happened too, but they treated me like they had no idea of what happened. Which only made me even more depressed when they insisted I go out to the club on New Years. I didn't have any fun there, all I did was sit at the bar and drink my troubles away. Every now and then a cute guy would approach me but I turned them all away. Nobody would be able to handle my nonsence like my Aksana can, the Bellas were right nobody want to be with a unstable person. Every night during that break I cried until I fell asleep from all the crying. My family helped ease the pain a little bit but at the end of the day my heart was still with Akasna.

Going back to work was even harder because what happened was still headlining the social media. I don't stop to talk to anybody except for Tamina and sometimes Layla, but they were short and simple converstations. As for everybody else I just made it my point to avoid them all because I know they will all gave me a pity or sympathetic look. And I honestly just wish they would stop because I don't deserve any of it I broke one of the few people who people actually like in the company. Everything is different now that she isn't even on the same brand anymore. I didn't even know that until I asked on of the stagehands if they had seen her.

I think corporate did that on purpose, because everybody knew how in love me and Aksana were. And how things ended between us it probably wouldn't be good for either of us in this kind of work environment. So in a way we both needed space and time to heal. But I can't heal without her here to kiss it better, Aksana is what and who I need to feel better. Sitting alone in a hotel room all day can either be your friend or worst enemy. But this one time it was my friend and I realized I have no future with out her in it weither we're just friends or lovers. I'd rather be lovers so this is my motovation to put up a fight until I get what I want. It is deffinetly going to take a lot of time and effort to get there, but all I got is time and a heart that just wants to love and be loved again.

XXXXXXXXXX

On the upcoming Saturday there is a Smackdown house show and all Smackdown superstars are suspose to be there. See there is an advantage to being the Divas Champion and that is the fact that I can attend any company show I want, so I decided it's been way to long since I've heard her voice or seen her in person. I figured I would go see how she is doing over there. That and since Valentine's day is coming up I am going to send her some flowers and a teddy bear. So I went to the nearest florist and ordered a few red, pink, and white roses that were there. Mostly pink though because that is the color rose she got me when we had our first Thanksgiving together, I just hope she remembers that too. I don't expect her to want to talk to me after this, but I need it to grab her attention. When they asked if I wanted to add a note I laughed a little bit thinking I'm going to need a lot more pieces of paper to express all my feelings for Aksana. But I settled for something short and sweet enough to get my point across. I just hope she hasn't moved on without me.

Aksana's POV

Since they moved me to Smackdown I've been doing ok. It was hard coming back to work since the Leeana tragidy, as the fans call it, is still head lining social media. Nothing is the same as I walk around backstage. Everybody gives me sympathetic stares like at any moment I'm going to start crying. All it does is make me mad why can't they all just mind their business. I just want everything to go back to the way it was before December.

Ugh December that was probably the first and I hope the last time I practically just laid in bed the entire time I went home home for the holidays. It was nice to get to see my family again after all the stuff that happened. They saw what happened and they comforted me while I cried. Especially my brother he stayed with me almost the whole time and helped cheer me up, but no matter how many times he made me smile there was and is still a hole in my heart that isn't going to be healed for a long time. But like they say your family will always be there for you when you need them. And time heals all wounds.

In the end it was 't that bad going back on the road because I had Zack. He practically became one of my best guy friends. There is one good thing I got out of this and that is I can go out with whoever I want when I want and nobody can tell me no... That is if I manage to hold myself together long enough to even go out and party. I'm not ready to go out because honestly I'm questioning my personality and my lifestyle again. Because there must be something wrong with me if Aj decided to cheat on me, so I gotta fix myself and find my own happiness before I can make anybody else happy.

But I don't want to focus on that right now because Alica is suspose to come by and we are going to lunch together. She said that I shouldn't be alone on Valentine's day. I think I would be ok by myself but I guess it would be nice to get out and get my mind off of things. I was in the bathroom doing my hair when there was a knock on the door. So I went and answered it.

"Hey you ready to go?" Alica said as she walked in.

"Just give me five minutes." I said as I walked back into the bathroom. About two minutes later there was another knock on the door. It's weird because I'm not expecting anybody. So I answered the door anyways.

"Umm are you Aksana?" Questioned a random guy wearing a pink polo shirt and khaki pants who was holding a stuffed ladybug with hearts on it as the poka-dots and a bouquet of red, white, and pink roses.

"Yea why?" I said a little worried. He then looked to his right and signaled for something.

"Ok good I need you to sign this right here." He said as he handed me a clipboard and a pen. As I was signing all these people holding a couple bouquets in their arms began to walk in my room. And there were a lot of roses. They all were either red, or white, but mostly pink.

"Whoa who are these even from?" I ask the guy as I handed him the clipboard and he handed me the ladybug and flowers he was holding. And by this time all the people were done bringing in flowers.

"I don't know I just deliver, but whoever it was you must mean a lot to them because fresh roses aren't the cheapest of gifts. Anyways here is your card, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. Happy Valentine's Day ma'am." He said before he walked away. I closed the door and walked over into the room and there were at least fifty different bouquets of roses each with about fifteen or twenty roses in them.

"Well if my instincts are leading me to the right place, then it looks to me that somebody is in love with you!" Alica cooed.

"Oh shut up! The real problem is what the hell am I going to do with all these roses?" I said really unsure of what the hell to do with about eight hundred roses.

"Who cares who sent these?" She asked excitedly

"Calm down I'm opening it now!" I said as I opened the envelope to reveal a cute card that had little heart shapped bugs on them. I opened it up and I instantly recognize the penmanship. There is only on person I know who writes like that. And I got butterflies in my stomach just from looking at it and I didn't even read it yet. This is going to be very interesting.

Dear Aksana,

If you are reading this on Valentine's day then that means it has been exactly 59 days since the day I lost you. Pathetic right? I know but I have nothing else to do without you, I know I fucked up big time and I can't go back and fix it. And I know you probably hate my guts and want me to fall off a cliff and die, but not even death could make me stop loving you! I don't expect you to forgive me or talk to me anytime soon but that's ok. I just wanted to make sure somebody showed you love on this special day. So enjoy these pink roses I got for you and even the red and white ones too. I got you a rose petal for everytime I think of you during the day. I just wish we could spend the whole day together I'd rather show you how much I love you than write it, but letters are cool too. I really am truely sorry and I Still Love You and I don't plan on stoping... even if you did. Sorry!

Your one & only Lovebug,

April

(P.S- did you see what I did with the stuffed animal? Ladybug Lovebug... I thought it was clever.)

I honestly did not see that coming at all.

"Well are you going to tell me who its from or do I have to do it myself?"

"Ummm… they are from Aj." I say slowly and Alicia makes a face.

"Wait let me see!" She said as she got up and began to walk to me and took the cards. I just stood there and looked at all the flowers, I really wasn't expecting anything today from anybody. I never would have guessed Aj would send me all these flowers... I guess she really is sorry if she sent me all these flowers, but I'm not exactly ready to forgive her yet.

"Oh Sana are you ok?" She said softly as she gave me a hug.

"I dunno Alica. I thought I was over her, but I don't really know anymore." I sigh.

"No you can't go back to her she broke your heart for Christ's sake. I'm not going to let you put yourself in that situation again." She argued.

"Yea you say it like its the easiest thing in the world to do! I loved her with everything I had. Fuck I still do love her, but that doesn't mean I want her back. My heart isn't ready for all of that yet. So don't worry about me I think I will be fine." I reasoned

"Alright I'm just looking out for you. We can't be Foxsana if Sana is missing."

"I know and that is why we are bffs!" I giggle as I hug her back. "But can we go get lunch now I don't want to be in here anymore right now?"

"Yea ok lets go." She said as she let me go and we grabed our purses and headed out the hotel. As much as I tried to forget about Aj I couldn't stop myself from thinking about her. She must have went through alot of trouble to get all those roses. Especially the pink ones, I thought she would have forgot about how I got her that single pink rose when we had Thanksgiving together. It was really sweet of her to do that... does that mean I have to get her something?

XXXXXXXXXX

It's not exactly easy to find fifty vases to hold all of the flowers Aj sent me so I decided to keep two bouquets and just hand the rest out to strangers. It was the least I could do besides throw them out. Sometimes its the little things such as waving hi to a stranger that can save a life, and giving somebody who you don't know a flower could change their life and you would never know. So I used it as a little pick-me-up to help get my mind off things.

But there is a house show today and I have a match later. As of late I think my matches have been more me getting out all my frustrations on my opponent then me doing it for show. Win or lose it doesn't matter because I am usually the one who walks out less hurt than the other. Tonight I have a match against Summer. Ideally I would go easy on her because she was a Real Diva with us, that was until the bitch joined Total Divas. So take that fact, and add in the emotional roller coaster I'm on right now it isn't going to be a good night for her. Besides its not like I ever liked her in the first place plus I don't like traitors.

So I head to the Zack's locker room and got changed. I always use his locker room he says that he is going to have to eventually get use to sharing a bathroom with a woman if he is going to get married one day. I couldn't argue with him there so thats how that happened. After I got changed I put on my Love Bites shirt, yea I know why would I wear the shirt of the person who destroyed my heart? I'm a superstitious person and whenever I wear the shirt before a match I win and nobody gets seriously hurt, but when I don't I loose or something bad happens. I know its juvinile but you can never be to sure. Anyways since divas matches usually are mid-card matches I just go hangout in catering. So I head down to catering I wasn't that hungry so I grabbed a water and started my way over to the trainers room so they can help me wrap my wist. I was stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the signature pair of Chucks sitting on a crate right near the entrance of the trainers room. Seeing that made me choke on my water a little bit.

This doesn't make any sense why would she be at a Smackdown house show? But before I have time to run she looks up and sees me and gives me a half smile. I can't run we made eye contact, but if I go over there what am I suspose to say? At the same time I just want to run my hands through her hair and kiss her until I can't feel my lips, but yet I want to slap her for breaking my heart. But its too late I gotta go over there, so I start to walk over there. The whole time I walked she didn't take her eyes off me. In fact she had that twinkle in her eye that would appear whenever I walked up to her. But I gotta stay strong and not do anything crazy. As I walk past her she doesn't say anything. Good thing because I don't really know what to say to her.

looks like Aj really is sorry if she brought Aksana about 800 roses. And poor Aksana she must be really broken:( I like to move it move it! -Joz