The Hunchback Nobody of Twilight Town

Chapter 5: Feast of Fools!

Roxas carefully climbed down the side of the Clock Tower with amazing skill, a hood covering his face. He wandered into the crowd, lost, as an oncoming group of people began to sing.

"Come one! Come all! Leave your looms and milking stools! Coop the hens and pen the mules! Come one! Come all! Close the churches and the schools! It's the day for breaking rules! Come and join the Feast... of..."

Sora sprang from the crowd. "Foooooools!"

Cheers and applause erupted from the people.

Roxas tried to work his way through the crowd, but Sora had noticed the poor hunchback and his predicament, and seemed to take advantage of it. He started to sing to him.

"Once a year we throw a party here in town! Once a year we turn all Twilight Town upside down! Every man's a king and every king's a clown! Once again, it's topsy turvy day! It's the day the devil in us gets released! It's the day we mock the prig and shock the priest! Everything is topsy turvy at the Feast of Fools!"

"Topsy turvy!" sang the crowd.

"Everything is upsy-daisy!" cried Sora.

"Topsy turvy!"

"Everyone is acting crazy! Dross is gold and weeds are a bouquet! That's the way on topsy turvy day!"

Roxas was thrown into a line of dancers and then shoved away. He fell and crashed into the dressing tent of a young girl. When he realized this, he quickly looked away.

"Hey! Are you all right?" asked the girl.

"I didn't mean to... I'm sorry," stuttered Roxas.

"You're not hurt, are you? Here, here, let's see." She tried to pull the hood off so she could examine his face.

"No, no, no!" he cried. If she saw him, what would she think?

Despite his attempts, he was unsuccessful in stopping her. The girl's young goat, white with black on its head and nose, looked disgusted, but the girl herself didn't flinch.

Roxas looked in the girl's beautiful ocean blue eyes and immediately was relaxed. She had short black hair that seemed to have been cut with a knife, and reached only the middle of her neck. She was amazing. Her eyes sparkled with compassion, something he'd never seen before. It left him stumbling on his words.

"There. See, no harm done." She helped him up and led him outside. "Just try to be a little more careful."

"I-I-I will." As he began to leave, she called out.

"By the way, great mask!" she said, winking and giving him a thumbs up. He didn't really understand, so he thought nothing of it.

Meanwhile, the crowd and Sora were still singing.

"Topsy turvy!"

"Beat the drums and blow the trumpets!"

"Topsy turvy!"

"Join the bums and thieves and strumpets streaming in from Chartres to Calais! Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy on the sixth of 'Januervy', all because it's topsy turvy day!"

Xemnas, Axel, and the guards went to their assigned seats as Sora jumped onstage to present someone.

"Come one! Come all! Hurry, hurry, here's your chance! See the mystery and romance! Come one! Come all! See the finest girl in France, make an entrance to entrance, dance la Xion … daaance!"A puff of smoke made Sora disappear, leaving Xion in his place. She began to perform a sultry dance, awing the crowd (which included Roxas).

"Look at that disgusting display," muttered Xemnas to Axel.

"Yes, sir!" he said enthusiastically, pushing up his helmet to see better. (A/N: Lol, Axel!)

As Xion continued to dance, she pulled out a handkerchief and wrapped it around Xemnas' head playfully, using it to pull him closer. She moved in to kiss him, but jumped away at the last moment, a look of pure disgust on her face, followed by a wicked grin. Xemnas yanked the handkerchief off his head angrily.

Xion finished her dance, and Sora came up to join her on the stage again.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, the piece de resistance! Here it is, the moment you've been waiting for! Here it is, you know exactly what's in store! Now's the time we laugh until our sides get sore! Now's the time we crown the King of Foooooools! You all remember last year's king, Setzer!"

A large, fat man was sitting on a chair, carried by some of the crowd. He had extremely long silver hair and violet eyes. He belched loudly, then smiled, proud at the burp.

"So, make a face that's horrible and frightening! Make a face as gruesome as a gargoyle's wing!"

Hayner, watching from the Clock Tower, stopped dancing to the tune to protest. "Hey!"

"For the face that's ugliest will be the King of Foooooools!"

"Topsy turvy!" cried the crowd.

"Ugly folks, forget your shyness!"

"Topsy turvy!"

"You could soon be called your highness! Put your foulest features on display! Be the king of topsy turvy daaaay!"

Sora and Xion pulled contestants (who were usually volunteered by the crowd or friends) onto the stage. Xion purposely went over to Roxas and brought him up as well, giving him a heart-warming smile. When all the contestants were up, Xion made her way down the line, ripping off masks and revealing the ugly faces (or silly faces made) underneath. The festivities continued until she reached Roxas. She tried to pull his mask off, but soon realized that it wasn't a mask.

"That's no mask!" said a man in horror.

"It's his face!" a woman gasped.

"He's hideous!" said another woman.

"It's the bell ringer from the Clock Tower!" cried a second man.

Roxas was devastated, realizing that the people were disgusted by him. Xemnas saw him and immediately recognized him. Sora, trying to keep things festive, jumped in.

"Ladies and gentlemen, don't panic! We asked for the ugliest face in France, and here he is! Roxas, the hunchback of Twilight Town!"

Upon hearing Sora, the crowd once again grew festive, and the jester crowned Roxas the King of Fools.

"Once a year, we throw a party here in town!" sang the crowd.

"Hail to the King!" Sora cried.

"Once a year, we turn all Twilight Town upside down!"

"Oh what a King!"

"Once a year the ugliest will wear a crown!"

"Girls, give a kiss!"

"Once a year on topsy turvy day!"

"We've never had a king like this!"

"And it's the day we do the things that we deplore! On the other three-hundred-and-sixty-four! Once a year we love to drop in, where the beer is never stoppin', for the chance to pop some popinjay, and pick a King who'll put the top in topsy … turvy … daaaaay!"

"Topsy turvy!"

"Mad and crazy, upsy-daisy, topsy turvy day!"

From above on the Clock Tower, Hayner, Pence, and Olette whooped and cheered, while the crowd on the ground chanted.

"Rox-as! Rox-as! Rox-as!"

Off to the side, a certain ponytailed guard and a certain muscular guard were watching.

"You think he's ugly now?" sneered the big one. "Watch this!"

He threw a tomato as Roxas, hitting him square in the face. The crowd suddenly went quiet.

"Now that's ugly!" laughed the guard.

"Hail to the king!" mocked the ponytailed guard, throwing another tomato. Soon, Roxas was being pelted with produce of all kinds. Shouts came from all directions. He was quickly lassoed and tied down on a rotating platform before he could run away. He was spun around as onlookers continued their torment. Roxas saw Xemnas watching and shouted for help.

"Master! Master, please! Help me!" he cried, tears streaming down his face, as well as random food. Axel, seeing enough, turns to Judge Xemnas.

"Sir, request permission to stop this cruelty."

"In just a moment, Captain. A lesson needs to be learned here."

Axel frowned, but obeyed. Almost as soon as Xemnas has said this, the crowd gasped and went silent. Axel and Xemnas looked up to the stage and saw Xion ascending the steps. She kneeled next to Roxas.

"Don't be afraid," she whispered as she gently cleaned off his face. "I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen."

"You! Gypsy girl!" Xemnas shouted, standing. "Get down at once!"

"Yes, your honor," she said, bowing. "Just as soon as I free this poor creature."

"I forbid it!"

Xion defiantely whipped out a knife and cut the ropes holding Roxas.

"How dare you defy me!" Xemnas said, enraged.

"You mistreat this poor boy the same way you mistreat my people. You speak of justice, yet you are cruel to those most in need of your help."

"Silence!"

"Justice!" she shot back.

"Mark my words, gypsy. You will pay for this insolence."

"Then it appears we've crowned the wrong fool," she said, grabbing the hat. "The only fool I see is you!" She threw the hat onto the ground in front of Xemnas.

"Captain Axel! Arrest her."

Axel, regretting it but obeying orders, motioned for his guards to move in and arrest Xion. The men surrounded the stage.

"Now, let's see," said Xion. She pointed at each guard as she counted them off. "One, two, three, four five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten of you, and one of me. What's a poor girl to do?"

She took out another handkerchief and started to cry, but as she blew her nose, she disappeared in an explosion of smoke.

"Witchcraft!" said Xemnas, disgusted.

"Oh, boys! Over here!"

They turned to see Xion's head smiling at them in a group of jack-o-lanterns.

"Get her!"

The girl led them on a wild chase throughout the streets. At one point, she knocked a large cage containing an old prisoner to the ground. It went rolling away, until it came to a stop and the lock broke open. The man stepped out. Riku, as he was known, had long silver hair and sky blue eyes.

"I'm free! I'm free!" he shouted. Then he tripped and fell into a stockade, which closed and locked.

"...Dang it."

Meanwhile, Xion continued to evade the guards. She grabbed her goat and jumped on top of the crowd, which carried them away to safety. The ponytailed guard and the big-muscled guard attempted the same move, but the crowd quickly moved away, letting them fall.

Xion grabbed a helmet with a sharp point on the top from one of the guards, and threw it like a frisbee. It hit three guards and knocked them out, before almost chopping Axel's head off, had he not ducked at the last moment.

"What a woman!" said Axel.

Two guards on horseback were chasing Xion. As she leaped over Xemnas' stand, someone threw the guards a staff. Each holding onto an end, the horizontal staff sliced through Xemnas' stand, sending him diving for cover. Xion ascended to the top of a stand, then promptly disappeared.

Xemnas turned to Axel. "Find her, Captain! I want her alive!"

"Yes, sir." To his men, he said, "Seal off the area, men. Find the gypsy girl, and do not harm her!"

Xemnas went over to Roxas, who hung his head low in shame.

"I'm sorry, master," he whispered. "I will never disobey you again."

He moved to the entrance of the Clock Tower as the rain began to fall. He went in, then slowly closed the door to his freedom.

(A/N: You know, I realized I have yet to tell you the goat's name. Hmm... Anyways! Yeah, um... Xion's Esmeralda, for those of you who wanted her: You is welcome! And she beats ass. Oh yeah! Poor Roxas, though...

And Seifer's the last king! BAHAHAHA! Sorry, I hate him... And I made him fat! LOL!

Axel is hilarious. I'm sorry, but he is! "YES, SIR! 8D".

I'm sure Sora had fun!

Sora: Wheeee!

Random Riku is Random. (And he's not gone forever! :D)

Saїx: …

:( What are YOU doing here? I don't like you! Get out! *Falcon Punches. Anyways, R+R!)