New chapter! Once again, thanks to all those who've read, added to faves, alerts or watch-lists. Thanks to the reviewers, too.
"Thanks, and thanks again!"
A lot of you guys guessed some of what was coming, so I'm not saying anything, other than on with the chapter!
*&*&*_POV Naruto_*&*&*
Morning, naturally, came both too quickly, and not quickly enough. He'd spent the night plotting what amazingly awesome techniques he wanted to wow them with. Then he went over what he could actually get away with showing them. He was feeling much more like his old self, but if he was honest, it was going to take a few more days of good-ish food and rest before he could pull out a hundred-thousand clones.
"Err on the side of caution, as Yamato-taicho would say," the blond muttered, waiting for his captors to show up. "Don't wanna scare them so badly we end up back at the 'tie Naruto up and beat the crap out of him.' I'm really sick of that. Ibiki's nuts! How could anyone enjoy shit like that? Man, I can totally see how he gets people to spill their guts, though. Next time I see him, I've gotta tell him thanks." His expression turned dark, "Assuming Nagato actually kept his word and brought everyone back, that is." He was so distracted he didn't hear the door open behind him.
"Brought who back?"
Looking over his shoulder, he saw his two 'favorite' people: the blond, Ed, and the Sasuke-in-ten-years, Mustang. "Oh, you know," he grinned, "All the dead people."Now what are you going to make of THAT bit of information.
"Dead people?"
"Yep." He grinned, "Lots of dead people." It didn't take his awesome skills of observation to see both men flinch.
"What are you going to do with a bunch of dead people?"
"Are we going to go outside so I can show you how amazing I am, or are we staying in here?"
Both of them looked at him, suspicious. "Well, let's get going." Mustang sighed, gesturing to the door.He's actually making the attempt to be...well, not nice, but less of a dick. I'm amazed. I kinda expected him to at least shout at me or something.
Without a word he followed them out the door and waited as they were flanked by Armstrong, Scar, and Hawkeye. "Guess the others are meeting us there?" No one answered him. The woman, Hawkeye, raked him with a scathing glare, however. "Geez, what's your problem, lady?"
"Forgive my lieutenant. She's got some strong opinions on your, ah, reading material."
"Hey, I never said you had toreadit, you know!" He'd spent some time the night before showing the two some basic characters of his language at their insistence. Naruto was still more than a little convinced that they were just totally messing with him. After all, he couldn't have been sent that far from home.
"You, young man, should be ashamed of yourself. What would your parents say?"
He looked at the large, intimidating Armstrong and shrugged, "Hey, how the hell am I supposed to know that? I'm an orphan, you know. I never knew them. But, Sensei likes the books, and he was taught by my father...you know what? I really need to have a chat with him about that. He could havetoldme that...and Master taught my old man, so I guess he wouldn't have a problem with it." His statement was greeted with silence as they continued down the hall. It wasn't long before they emerged outside.
Naruto wasted no time in breaking away from the group, leaping and shouting, "Yahoo! The sun! The dirt! I missed you, grass!" He ended his juvenile display by throwing himself on the ground, grinning at the sky. He deliberately ignored the glares; it wasn't like he didn't have practice at that. He was glad that his antics hadn't gotten him shot, skewered, or burned. As he lay there, he considered the courtyard he had found himself in. It was big enough for him to show off in, and if they thought the high walls would stop him, they were sorely mistaken. There was a rather attractively bubbling fountain and benches on the far side; Naruto assumed there was another door over that way.
For a while, at least, they seemed content to let him lay there as they discussed plans. He was just considering napping when he felt two people approach. Cracking an eye open, he found his view blocked by two blonds. "Um, excuse me, but could you show us that ability, please?" Al seemed almost apologetic about the interruption, though the look Ed was giving him was anything but.
Naruto answered with one of his trade-mark foxy-grins, "Sure, I'll show you that and more! As soon as you answer just one little question, that is." lightening fast, his arm shot out and snatched Ed's left leg, yanking it up with him as he stood.
"HEY!" Ed's arms whirled thought the air as he attempted to keep his balance. "What the hell?"
Yanking up the pant leg the blue eyed blond snorted, "Consider it payback." He revealed a metal plate where Ed's shin should be. With a little frown he tapped the metal.
"What the hell are you doing? Put my leg down right now!"
"It's metal? It's not just some weird shin guard?" He continued to tap up the leg, ignoring Ed as he latched onto his shoulders and started yelling. It was a little harder to ignore the punch to his head when his tapping hit flesh.
"Would you at least be careful? If you break it, Winry's gonna kill the both of us."
"Are you some kind of puppet master?" Naruto looked over to the ANBU, "What about her? Her arm's the same, right? I don't feel chakra flowing, and I didn't notice in sage mode, so how are youmovingthese?"
Ed just blinked at him after he pulled his leg out of Naruto's now flaccid grip, "Haven't you ever seen automail before?" Naruto shook his head, looking very confused. "It's an artificial limb, connected to my nerves. That's how it moves."
"Nerves? Seriously? Man, your medic-nins have some amazing skills then! Baa-chan could probably do something like this, maybe Sakura, but that's some seriously advanced stuff. Was it done deliberately? How long was the recovery time? The weight's different; I don't think I could copy it well." He nodded to himself, "Be pretty easy to tell if some henged into you, then."
"Woah, back up there. Medic-nins?"
Alphonse interrupted his brother, "What do you mean by 'henged'? Is that one of your techniques?"
Who should I pick..."Well, yeah." He brought his fingers together and there was aPUFFT!of smoke. When it cleared, Scar was standing where Naruto had been. Al almost tripped over his feet backing up, eyeing the Ishballan in shock.
He wasn't the only one who was shocked. "That's me!"
"Ok, Ed, how did he do that if he's not a homunculus?"
"Oh, this is pretty basic." 'Scar' said as he allowed the young blond to examine his arms for a better look at the tattoos as the others came closer.
"Perfect duplication."
There was anotherPUFFT!and now the masked ANBU was standing there. With a grin, Ed snatched the arm that should have been automail.
"Looks like automail," he tapped it, "But the feel's all wrong. It's not bad though. Probably good enough to fool a visual inspection." With a grin, he yanked off the mask, revealing an equally grinning Naruto. He turned to the ANBU who pulled off her mask, revealing black hair and dark eyes that watched him warily, "So you can't copy what you can't see." He pressed the mask into Naruto's chest…
PUFFT!
Only to find his hand was now cupping a naked breast of a long-haired blond who moaned. "YEESH!" He leapt back.
"Oooo Ed-san~! We can't, what would our clans think?" The woman gave a sultry pout, playing with one of her pigtails. "You know, if you had wanted to see me naked before, you just had to..." Hawkeye's gun was suddenly right in the blond's face, "…ask. Too far?"
Her eye twitched, "Very." Apparently she and the other two women there were as unaffected by this skill as the kunoichi back home. They also seemed to take the same attitude about the men's slack-jawed dazed look.
Naruto sighed.PUFFT!Back to normal he continued to grin, "Sexy no Jutsu. Been a while since I used that one last." He explained as she put the gun away, "And that's how a thirteen year old boy helps his master write porno books." They looked at him in disgust. "Wait. No. That came out wrong. We didn'tDo anythingtogether! That's just nasty. Seriously, all I did was sneak into bathhouses sometimes, or jump up and down for him. Besides, you have to concentrate to stay in henge so...you know what, I'm going to shut up now." He blushed, "Yep. Shutting up."
"Your master was averysick man," Armstrong calmly stated.
"You're not going to get any arguments from me there," came the muttered response as Naruto tried to calm himself down.Now or never.He calmed his breathing, reaching for that equilibrium with nature to achieve sage mode. He noticed that the ANBU, Ling, Al, and the shorter girl all started to watch him intently.So they can feel it, he mused as he calmly closed his eyes. "Hey, um, Armstrong was it? Could you make a pillar or something for me?" He waved a hand lazily, "over that way?"
In moments, the pillar he had requested was created.What an interesting way to use chakra,he mused, feeling the technique as it formed a rather unique shape. With a sigh, he put his plan into motion, opening his now orange eyes. "Uzumaki Naruto: Sage Mode!" He posed, rather cornily.
"How interesting, you use alkahestry to alter your physical appearance and abilities."
"Are you constantly channeling energy like this?"
"How can you do this without a circle?"
"Guys, GUYS!" Naruto interrupted, "I can't hold this form long right now, so if you could please shut up I'll show you, just like I promised, ok?" Grudgingly they nodded and backed off, giving him room. "Thank you." He smirked before vanishing from right in the middle of them. He quickly reappeared behind Mustang and couldn't resist tapping him, easily getting out of reach once more.
"What are you doing?"
"Giving you a demonstration, of course." The blond lazily waved a hand at them as he calmly walked to the pillar. For a moment, he admired the sheer gaudiness of it as he walked around it. With a smirk, as soon as he ducked out of sight of the group he created a clone. Quickly the two of them then formed a rasengan before the original Naruto finished his walk around the pillar, leaving the copy in place.
"What's that?"
"This?" The teen raised his hand, glowing sphere drawing lots of attention, "Oh, this is just a rasengan. Nothing fancy." He turned back to the pillar, "But very, very destructive." With that, he leapt into the air and slammed the rasengan into the top of the pillar, sending small gravel everywhere as Naruto dropped the sage mode. Quickly the courtyard was filled with a dusty cloud.
He took the opportunity provided to rush towards the fountain. He didn't look back as his clone raced for the other side of the courtyard, attracting attention in Sage mode.
"He's getting away!"
He could feel the multiple chakra-like attacks zeroing on his clone, only to go slamming into a large rock that had been substituted in.
"What the hell?"
"There he is!" He flinched, before he realized they were talking about the clone again. Finally, he found himself at the fountain and dove behind it, making sure he was completely out of sight.
"Hawkeye!"
PUFFT!As the clone memories rushed into him, Naruto could competently say that getting shot in the head seriously sucked. Ignoring the continued shouts of surprise, with grim determination he chomped down on his thumb, slamming his hand into the ground.
"Ooo, hello, Naruto-nii-san! Where have you been? Aniki has been looking everywhere for you."
"G-Ga-Gamatatsu! Why are you here?" Naruto hissed,Dammit! I wanted Gamakichi! Gah, this is so unfair."Never mind that now,DUCK!"
"Oh? Ok, Naruto. Are we playing a game with those people over there?"
The blond sighed exasperatedly and yanked Gamatatsu down, "I SAID DUCK!"
"Hai. Hey, Naruto? I'm hungry."
"I'll get you lots of snacks later, alright? But first I need you to deliver a message to..."
"AIHEEEE!" A piercing scream came from right behind Naruto.
"Ah fuck."
He turned around to see another blond, this one an attractive young woman, just as she dropped the heavy bag she was carrying. "Fr, giant frog!" The door she had just exited quietly swung shut behind her as everyone turned and looked in their direction.
"Huh? Where?"
"Oh God, it talks!" She shuddered, "Alphonse, EDWARD! GET OVER HERE NOW!"
"Who, me?" Gamatatsu blinked at the woman before turning to Naruto, "But, I'm not a frog, I'm a toad." Naruto face-palmed.
"Winry! Look out!"
"Of course this would happen," the now exasperated teen muttered as he stood, watching everyone he had successfully managed to evade come running. Gamatatsu stood up as well.
"Where the hell did THAT come from?"
"That's not very nice..."
"Let me handle this, ok?" he sighed as the others approached, turning his back on the young woman who was now white as a sheet sitting haphazardly on the ground.
"Ok, Naruto-nii-san." The group slowed down, all of them looking ready to rip the two of them apart. Sighing again, Naruto raised his hands placatingly. Just as he was about to speak, Gamatatsu waved, "H-hello everyone. I'm Gamatatsu. Are you friends of Naruto-nii-san?"
Quick as a thought Hawkeye had her gun up and snapped off a shot. "Gamatatsu!" Naruto yelped as he took the bullet for his friend. "I thought I told you to let me handle this, ok?"
"AH! Naruto! You're hurt." The usually placid toad glared at the woman, "You hurt my friend! Why would you do that? Are you with Ak..."
"Hey, it's ok. Look, see, I'm fine."
"That is a really BIG chimera."
"What's a chimera?"
"Ignore them." He glared at Mustang, before turning his attention back to his friend, "I've got a job for you, ok?"
"Really? YAY, a real job! I'll do my best, and eat lots of snacks!"
"Sure. But first, you need to do the mission."
"Naruto, if you don't stop right now..."
"Shove it up your ass. This is important!"
"T...Toad..."
"Winry!"
"Oh, the lady doesn't look so good, Naruto-nii-san."
"Gamatatsu, I need you to focus for a second." The blond sweat dropped.
"Ok."
"Are you listening?" The toad nodded vacantly, eyes following a fly. The shinobi sighed, "Good enough. Listen, I need you to go back and tell your brother to do a reverse summoning, ok?"
"Eh? But why can't you tell him?" The young toad looked down at him, whining slightly, "Everyone is looking for you. Katsuyu told everybody that you won. All the people that the six Pein people killed are alright now, but no one can find you and we've been looking for a long time...look, that cloud looks like a dango!"
"I can't tell him right now. He's not here, and I have no clue where I am. That's why I needYOUto tell him. You got it? Go tell your brother to summon me." He was acutely aware that everyone was staring at them intently.
"How can you not know where you are?"
"I just don't. We don't have time for this." He felt a headache coming on.
"But, how did you get here then? Did you walk? It seems like a long way to walk."
"Gamatatsu..."
"You could have let us know you were going on a trip."
"GAHHH!" He yanked at his hair,I give up, he's not going anywhere until I explain this or feed him, is he?He glared both at the toad and their audience, "FINE! I give up! Nagato did some jutsu-thing, and then when he and that paper chick left, I turned around and BAM! I was in some weird place with a freaky guy grinning at me!"
"Orochimaru?"
"NO! It wasn't Orochimaru!"
"Ko..."
"And it wasn't him either! I don't know who the heck it was! All I know is he said some really weird things to me and the fox, alright? Next thing I know, I'm here. NOW GO TELL GAMAKICHI TO GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
The toad blinked, looking ready to cry. "You don't have to be so mean about it, Naruto-nii-san." He sniffed before turning forlornly to the others. "Bye bye."
"Wait!" shouted Mustang a second too late as a cloud of smoke replaced where the toad had been. "What the hell was that?"
Naruto just grinned at him, glad his message would be delivered, well, eventually, anyway, "A toad. What else?"
Next chapter has been started. I almost put Gamakichi instead, because I like him more, but 'Tatsu worked better for this scene. And look, Winry! That's all for now. Naruto's still stuck until 'Tatsu remembers to deliver the message. YAY Naruto's brilliant plan almost paid off.