Minor Arcana Cards 1-3! It's really fun reading the descriptions of cards and coming up with little mini-plots. I think I have a little under half of the prompts written out, but these are the only stories I've written so far.
The only warning for this group I have is language. My cuddly headcannon Dave is always a potty-mouth, and Sebastian seems to be joining the vulgar ranks as well.
Enjoy!
Ace of Pentacles: Prosperity, a windfall, recognition. Reversed; Bad investments, greed, miserliness.
Dave was definitely in the twilight zone. There was no other explanation for the sight before him. The sight of Kurt Hummel, dedicated boyfriend, frugal spender who lived for sales, who knew a penny-saving trick for every problem, sitting in their bathtub up to his shoulders in money. It looked like mostly fives and ones, but he could see a few twenties scattered around, with fifties peeking their heads out once in a blue moon. He realized, in the back of his mind, that he had been staring for a good five minutes now, as Kurt lifted a long leg out of the green mass, sliding a fucking hundred down his smooth skin.
"Would you like to join me, David?" The little fucker sounded like he was enjoying Dave's confusion.
"What the fuck, Kurt? Where did all this money come from? And why are you bathing in it?"
"I robbed a bank. And I'm not bathing, I am luxuriating."
"Kurt. Come on." He said sharply, in no mood for his boyfriend's joyful evasiveness.
"What? I can't be bathing if I'm not naked. That would be gross. Who knows where this money has been?"
Not exactly the part that Dave wanted an explanation for, so he just glared down, hoping he could loom the truth out of his boyfriend. Kurt stared defiantly back before apparently getting bored of the game.
"You're no fun. My talent and genius have finally been recognized, is all." As if that explained anything. Dave's expression must have said so, because Kurt sighed before continuing. "Remember the designs I made for Fall Fashion-week? Well, apparently they were so well liked that designers got into this massive bidding war over who got them. I've always wanted to do this, and the recent windfall was all the excuse I needed. Now, take off your clothes, put on that pair of board-shorts I like, and come help me celebrate!"
Truth be told, Dave had always wanted to take a money-bath too. Add into that one smirking, nearly-naked boyriend? He couldn't strip fast enough.
Page of Wands: Messenger, good news, daring. Reversed; Bad news, rumors, acting out.
Kurt's eyes tracked the UPS guy carefully, taking in every movement. Broad shoulders, strong legs, the fabric of his brown t-shirt stretched to it's limits around flexing biceps; words would never be able to express how happy Kurt was that this handsome man was the one to replace the surly woman who used to deliver to his boutique. When the worker finished loading boxes onto the dolly and started walking towards his store, Kurt practically ran to the door to hold it open.
The taller man grunted his thanks as he rolled the dolly over the threshold. "Thanks. Shit, man, what is in this boxes? I thought this was a clothing store."
"It is," Kurt laughed. "Fabric can be surprisingly heavy when it's folded onto itself a couple hundred times."
"Fuck. Do you need help putting these away? These seem kinda heavy for you. Ah, no offense."
"None taken, I'm well aware of my physical limitations. I'd love some help, thank you." He didn't need the help, of course, but he'd never say no to watching a strong man at work. "I take it you're Julie's replacement?"
"Yup, name's Dave." His handshake sent shivers down Kurt's spine, and he wondered how good those warm, calloused hands would feel on his skin. Blood starting flowing south, which was a definite no-no in skinny jeans, so he started thinking of how Julie's hands would have felt.
"Kurt. The boxes can go in the back, just put them on any open surface. Permanently, or is someone else going to take the route?" He felt so daring! He couldn't remember the last time he flirted with a semi-stranger.
"Nope, I'm yours until I quit or get fired." Dave smiled at him, looking right into his eyes. Kurt blushed.
The two men made quick work of the boxes, much to Kurt's disappointment. Now Dave would have to go, taking with him his muscles and smile and-
"You need anymore help with anything? This was my last drop-off for the day." Well, this was a surprise. Handsome, and nice?
"You're just trying to put off clocking out, aren't you?" Kurt teased.
"You'd suspect that of me?" Dave put on a melodramatic, wounded face. "Can't I just do something nice for a cute guy?" Dave smirked at Kurt, who had immediately gone red.
"I, uh, you can, ah, there are...there are some bolts of fabric in the back that need to be brought to the store-front." Mercedes would not believe this was happening to him. Kurt couldn't believe it either, considering it was playing out like something in a rom-com.
He brought Dave into the backroom again, and pointed out the specific bolts he needed. He was about to pick one up himself when Dave just grabbed them all at once, hefting them onto his shoulder.
"Oh, wow." Kurt said in a breathy voice. "Usually I can only carry two or three at a time. That's...wow, seven. Impressive."
"What can I say? I like showing off." Dave laughed, now blushing himself.
Once the bolts were arranged perfectly, the two stood and stared and smiled at each other, probably looking like a couple of idiots. Something inside Kurt bubbled up, forcing it's way out of his mouth before he could think.
"Would you like to go out for drinks after I close up?"
Seven of Swords: Trickery, sabotage, taking advantage of someone. Reversed; good advice, an apology.
If there was one phrase that would describe Sebastian Smythe (outside of walking sex bomb, irresistible charmer, and super-talented Warbler front man) it would be misery loves company. He deemed it a personal affront when other people were happy where he was miserable. And Sebastian Smythe was definitely miserable.
"Seb! Seb!" An excited voice called out. Sebastian didn't need to turn around to know Blaine fucking Anderson had just walked into The Lima Bean. Idly, Sebastian wondered if this time, Blaine would actually leave him alone if he ignored him hard enough.
"Sebastian Smythe, are you playing hard to get?" Of course he wouldn't leave him alone, because the Universe hated him. Probably karma for not actually blinding the little guy. "You're so cute." Blaine fawned as he sat down.
"What are you doing here?" Sebastian asked, getting straight to the point. He was so tired of Blaine it wasn't funny.
"What do you mean?" Blaine was clearly confused, which was mind-boggling since Sebastian remembered making himself very clear during their last rendezvous.
"Don't you remember last night? I know you think it's cute to act all drunk after one beer, but even you're not that much of a light weight. I told you to never to talk to me again."
"You were serious?"
"You thought I was joking? How? I used my angry voice and everything."
"Yeah, but...Seb, breaking up with me just because I wasn't comfortable having sex yet?"
"Breaking up? Who said anything about a fucking relationship?" Sebastian had known Blaine was a stupid romantic, of course, because that's all so-called Klaine had ever talked about, but this was just ridiculous. "When, in all of my sexts and seductions, did I ever mention dating?" He spat out dating like it was some awful, unthinkable thing.
Blaine looked to be on the verge of tears. "I thought some of your texts were rather romantic. Isn't that why you wanted Kurt and I to break up? So we could date?"
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I didn't care if you were with Kurt or not, I said that during our first coffee meeting. I just wanted to fuck you."
"Well, I want to date you. Then we can have sex, after a while." Blaine had his stubborn face on, the one he heard about from the Warbler Council. It was the reason Blaine got all the solos at first, before they had known about his stupid talent.
"I politely decline. I don't date."
"But...I love you, Sebastian. I know we're meant to be together!"
And that was how Blaine began his taxing war on Sebastian's love life. Anytime he got close to hooking up at Scandals, Blaine would appear out of fucking nowhere and cling on to him, scaring off every fuckable guy in a five-mile radius. It was driving Sebastian crazy. It was making him miserable. So when, after having an actual, honest-to-God 10/10 be driven off by Blaine fucking Anderson, Sebastian spotted the absolutely adorable couple of Bear Cub and that girl-faced twink, the Warbler decided to entertain himself with a little sabotage.
The problem with breaking up 'Kurtofsky', Sebastian decided, was that even though the relationship was relatively new and therefor unstable, they fucking communicated with each other so much that it was as if they'd been dating for centuries. He started out small, texting from his own number, hoping his sordid history with Kurt would lend him enough sway to break them up.
From Criminal Chipmunk: did cub tell u about the time we made out 4 an hour
From Gay Face: No, but he did tell me about the time he asked you for dating advice and you made fun of his eyebrows and told him to stay in the closet.
See? If he had texted that to Kurt while he was dating Blaine, it probably would have caused major problems, but Dave was so fucking open that it didn't even a sow a single seed of doubt.
From Criminal Chipmunk: u know, i still see cub at scandals. talking to other guys. cute guys.
From Gay Face: Imagine that, he regularly visits the first place he felt at home in his own skin. Have you talked to that cute guy Jason recently? He was just telling David that you broke his heart. Sad face. Blaine says 'I love you'.
From Criminal Chipmunk: tell him i say to go fuck himself
From Gay Face: He's ecstatic that you finally return his feelings.
From Criminal Chipmunk: fucker
Maybe Dave would prove the weaker link.
From Sebastian: did u kno kurt blaine and i almost had a threesum
From Cub: Did you know you're losing your skills at trickery? Stop harassing my boyfriend. No one at Scandals would blame me if I punched you.
Jesus, was Cub always that violent? Isn't he supposed to be big and cuddly or some shit?
Obviously, he'd have to take this into the real world, because texts weren't cutting it. He started using his skills of seduction to get randoms at the bar to go hit on the couple. When he sent them to hit on Dave, all he got was a blushing, stammering cub and a grinning Kurt. How was he supposed to know that Dave had lingering body issues and the frequent praise was doing wonders for his fucking self-esteem?
It was worse when he sicked the randoms after Kurt. He barely had to do any convincing to get them to hit on Gay Face, which was frustrating by itself. He thought it was working, at first, because after a while Cub started looking pretty angry, and was talking to Kurt in a hushed, angry tone. When Dave practically dragged Kurt out of the bar, he thought his plans were finally working. He went to bed happy, and woke up disgusted as he got a long, graphic message from Kurt, thanking him for sending all those guys after him because a possessive, jealous Dave was amazing in bed.
He even almost resorted to anonymous cyber-bullying, before he remembered the circumstances of Dave's suicide attempt, and not even he was that cruel. Plus, he wanted to be able to take credit for the breakup. He wracked his brain trying to find some sort of brilliant scheme, but he couldn't get too shady because his Dad was already pretty angry at him for the whole rock-salt slushie thing (though the more Blaine showed up at his house, singing tacky love-songs, the less sympathy his parents had for the boy).
So, he gave up on ruining lives for the first time in recent memory, sulked back to Scandals, ordered the highest proof drink in the bar, and went to town. The sound of an exuberant "Sebastian!" was almost, almost drowned out by the sound of someone violently slamming their head on the bar, praying for release from their misery.
Seven of Swords was fun to write. I may have to include more of mischievous-but-not-malicious Sebastian.
Is three a good number of Minor to put on one chapter? These things always look so much longer when I'm writing them, but when I upload them onto here it's like, 'oh that's all I wrote? wow that's hardly anything'. Next time I'll try for four or five and see how that looks.
You should review and send me PMs about how amazing this is so far 3