Rocket Man Chapter VII

100 Reviews you guys are CRAZY! Thank you!

Okay I wanted to wait with this at least until tomorrow, because chapter 8 is far from done. But I thought it would be just cruel.
So here's chapter 7. It's short but intense. I hope. ;-) So I'm curious what you think. Leave a comment.
But be warned you will have to wait for the next chapter now. ;-)

No challenge for this one.

And yet again I have to thank my fabulous BBB's. You are awesome and your input means a lot to me!

Disclaimers:

They are not mine. I'm not keeping them, just borrowing, although I wouldn't mind to keep Castle. ;-)

"Why do you do this to him?" Alexis' voice was harsh and Kate was shocked by the hurt and rage she saw in the girls eyes, still having absolutely no idea what this was all about.

"Alexis, what's going on? I don't understand -," Kate tried to reach out to the younger woman, wanting to place her hand on Alexis' shoulder, but she jerked away and cut her off mid-sentence.

"No! You don't! You've never understood him! If you did, you wouldn't have left him alone for three months, you wouldn't have hurt him like you did, leaving him alone while he suffered with the guilt, the pain!" Alexis was holding nothing back. She had kept it, all of it, to herself for so long. For her Dad's sake, just because he had asked her to, but she couldn't do it anymore, not after what had happened at the hospital today. She wanted to hurt Kate, wanted to see the same devastated look on her face that she'd had to endure for three months on her father's face. The look which was still there from time to time had never fully disappeared. She wanted to throw it all back at her.

Kate stumbled back, bracing herself against the now closed apartment door for what she knew was coming. She had dreaded this moment, feared to face the accusations; the anger, and most of all, the hurt she knew was there. A part of her had hoped she could wait it out, that if she held still for long enough, it might just make it all go away. But she realised in this moment that no matter how hard it was, that she needed to hear it, needed this punishment, she deserved it. Still, the Detective was surprised by the timing; they had been making progress, hadn't they? Their temporary living arrangement had been working out quite well, and she knew something must have happened to bring this on now, especially this level of fury.

Again she tried to reach out to the distressed young woman, "Alexis, why don't you sit down and tell me what happened?"

Alexis couldn't calm down; let alone explain because she knew, somewhere under the rage that totally consumed her right now that the incident resulting in her outburst was brought on by her own actions. However in this moment she couldn't acknowledge that, right now she wanted to focus her anger on Kate and she wanted to get it all out, everything she'd had bottled up inside for so long.

"You have no idea what you did to him! He thought he had lost you, Kate! Gosh we all thought we had lost you!" she stilled for a moment, composing herself. Kate stared at her in shock, her eyes wide in terror and she felt the scar where the bullet had hit her, felt the pain all over again as she pressed the heel of her palm against it. But Alexis wasn't done, and when she spoke again her tone was icy.

"You said you would call, and for weeks all he did was wait. And with every day you didn't call, he slipped further and further away from us and there was nothing we could do but watch him lose himself. Especially after Gates kicked him out and he had nothing else to focus his worry on." She took a deep shuddering breath, and continued.

"Then he lost you all over again during that summer. Not knowing if you blamed him for happened, not knowing if he would ever see you again. You weren't there! You didn't see the man he became, he was hollow and broken. The man he still is on his worst days. And when you decide it's time, you just waltz back into his life because you know he will forgive you, you know the kind of man he is. It's what he does for the people he l…," Alexis caught herself just in time, knowing her father wouldn't want her to tell Kate what he had confessed on that day, "he cares about. He would do anything to make you happy. Anything at all and all you do is push him away. Over and over again. Why do you do this Kate, why?" Alexis was sobbing now, furiously wiping the tears away.

"Have you ever asked yourself what it's like for him? Tiptoeing around you, always walking on eggshells; always worried he will say something wrong, do something wrong, something that will send you running. Away from him. Have you any idea how scared he is to lose you?"

Alexis stared at her, whether it was because she expected an answer, or just to emphasize her words, Kate didn't know. And still her mind refused to work, all she could feel was the enormous guilt threatening to swallow her.

"I guess not. You probably don't even care!" Alexis' last words cut deep. Deeper than all the others. Was that what he thought about her? Did he really believe she didn't care? Oh God!

Kate couldn't speak, she felt like a vice had been put around her heart and was being squeezed so tight it left her breathless, speechless. This was how much Alexis hated her for what she had done to her Dad. She had expected the anger and hurt, Alexis loved her father and she would protect him from any harm if she could, but Kate had never imagined the anger ran so deep. Never had she expected the hate she saw in those blue eyes.

"I'm sorry," was all she finally managed to get out, before she dropped her head, trying to hide all the emotions she felt and the tears that threatened to fall. She didn't want Alexis to see her like this.

"Yeah Kate, go ahead, do what you are best at, hiding!" Alexis spat out, grabbing her bag as she pushed Kate out of her way and opened the door, "I'm going home" were the last words Kate heard before the door closed behind her.

Kate was frozen. She couldn't move, couldn't breathe, and when the sobs overcame her she slid to the floor, crouching against the cold wall. She had known that she had hurt him, but hadn't suspected she had the power to break him. And Kate suddenly realised she should have. Knowing him, she should have seen it, seen the changes in him. The mask he had been wearing since her return, the haunted and tired look in his eyes, the shadows under them and his whole demeanour towards her. For the first time she actually thought that maybe it was best for him not to remember.

Kate didn't know how long she had been on the floor. The tears had stopped and she had managed to shrug out of her coat at some point, but she couldn't bring herself to get up. Her phone startled her into moving and she reached for her bag, lying next to her. She didn't want to talk, but felt obligated to at least check who was calling. When she saw that it was Martha, the decision was made for her. She tried to take a deep breath, realised she couldn't, and answered with a shaking hand and voice.

"Martha."